Chapter 4: Fight-Night

Inside my mind everything's in its place… it's normal… everything's A-Okay.

Esca shivered, sick with worry. It was still early in the evening. Chances were Marcus's fight hadn't even started yet. Esca had thought sleeping the night at Marcus's place would help him get over the attraction, but now things were worse than ever.

Esca would stay awake until he knew Marcus was home. The abandoned floor wasn't good enough to spy from. He had to see Marcus get home, so he chose the perch across from Marcus's apartment, despite the fact that it was so uncomfortable.

Esca passed the time by imagining pictures. He used to pass the time by remembering his mom. Calling upon random happy memories. As the memories faded, he began to remember less and less and began to suspect that he was making them up. This scared him more than anything. He didn't want to lose her. Not again.

So he stopped thinking about her, preserving what memories he had of her and trying not to remember any other. Instead now he made up situations and images. Calling upon the world around him, Esca painted scenes of people, interactions, beautiful colors, and wonderful places.

It was amazing what he could do with just his mind. Sometimes, in the dead of winter, he could make himself feel so warm he'd almost take off his jacket. Almost.

Movement at the door of Marcus's apartment building yanked him out of his imaginary world. Marcus had just stepped in the front door. Esca hadn't really seen him so he waited until Marcus appeared in his apartment. It was taking longer than usual.

Esca felt a twinge of worry, like a knot in his throat. Suddenly the front door to Marcus's apartment opened and he hobbled in. He collapsed on his couch apparently in a great deal of pain.

From the evening before Esca was now able to tell if Marcus was faking or not. Before, everything had been perfectly timed and his limp had been exaggerated. Esca could tell this was different. Instead of the exaggerated limp, Marcus more like dragged himself along.

Esca's fear confirmed he knew he had to make sure Marcus was okay. Jumping down the fire escape, faster than he probably should Esca bounded along and up Marcus's front steps.

Esca prayed the door was unlocked as the twisted the handle and threw it open. Marcus was lying pathetically on the couch.

"Hey," he groaned. "You checking up on me?" Esca flushed with embarrassment, as he hadn't thought about how strange it might be that he was watching Marcus. "Ah, naw that's all right," Marcus said as if reading his mind.

"Are you hurt?" Esca asked, a little breathless from the run.

"Nothing I can't handle," Marcus winced as he tried to sit himself up a little. "Nothing that I haven't ALREADY handled. You should see the other guy!"

Esca wasn't convinced but he was going to let it slide. He was already judging Marcus. Despite having already admitted to himself that he was no different, Esca couldn't help but feel like Marcus was an idiot and needed to stop. But when he thought about why he should stop, the only reason he could give was himself. Marcus had been nice, but he had not led Esca to believe that he was that important to him.

Or had he?

Marcus was ashamed. Ashamed that he had done it again. He'd sworn to not fight and again he'd gone out and done just that. It was a part of him. It had been his entire existence since he was fifteen. How was he supposed to just let it go?

"Are you mad at me?" Marcus asked with that puppy dog look and pitiful voice that always caused people to melt.

Esca shook his head, though he seemed unfazed by Marcus's play. He also seemed like his response had been a bit of a lie.

"I was just worried," Esca said after a few more moments. Then he blushed as he thought about what he'd said.

"Well thank you for worrying," Marcus said.

"I'm gonna go," Esca said quietly after a few more moments of silent staring.

"Please… don't," Marcus managed. "Stay again. Please?"

Marcus could tell Esca did not want to stay. He could tell that Esca was afraid of being a burden and afraid of relying on Marcus too much. He could also tell that the prospect of a warm bed was extraordinarily inviting. That wasn't hard considering Esca's other options.

"I don't…" Esca started.

"Please," Marcus interrupted. It was strange interrupting Esca. Marcus always wanted to hear him speak, but not if he was going to say something Marcus did not want to hear.

Esca had already resigned to staying. Marcus could tell. They spent the rest of the evening in communal silence. Marcus splayed out on the couch and Esca bent up in what could not possibly be a comfortable position in the love seat.

"Do you have any hobbies?" Marcus chuckled at his own stupid question.

"No," Esca shrugged.

"Nothing you like doing just for you?"

"No time. No money."

Marcus nodded and frowned.

"I like paintings. Drawings you know?" Esca said. "But I don't know if I'd be any good."

Marcus smiled. "I bet you're fucking fantastic."

Esca blushed and smiled. He really had no idea. It had been a long time since he'd drawn. His mother had always pressured him to do it. She saw how much he liked it, and she always loved hanging his pictures up. Not just on the fridge. They'd be in the bedroom, bathroom, living room, and everywhere else. His father had taken them down after she died.

"Maybe we should hit the hay," Marcus suggested. He got a little cozier on the couch and closed his eyes. "I'm assuming you remember where my room is?"

"Please, don't sleep on the couch again," Esca pleaded.

"I'm okay."

Esca sighed. "I'm warning you. You sleep in the bed tonight."

"Warning me?" Marcus laughed.

Esca gave him a mischievous smile. It was an expression Marcus hadn't seen yet, but then again, Marcus didn't know how tricky Esca could be.

Esca walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He figured this could be his payback for the trick Marcus had played the other day.

When he got back into the living room Marcus was pretending to be asleep. There was no way he'd actually fallen asleep that quickly. Esca cupped his hand and lifted out a palm-full of water and splashed it on Marcus.

"AHH!" Marcus yelped indignantly.

Esca quickly grabbed another and hurtled it at Marcus.

"Ah! Okay okay! Stop please!" Marcus was laughing. "Fine you freak!"

Esca frowned.

Marcus sobered. "Sorry… I didn't mean that. You're not a freak."

Esca couldn't hold his fake frown much longer so he expertly grabbed another palm of water and tossed it, returning to his laughing.

"You're the worst!" Marcus laughed. "I'll go to the bedroom, just help me up."

Esca placed the glass on the coffee table and took Marcus's outstretched hand. He was heavy, but together they got him up and Esca was able to guide him into the bedroom. Esca moved the blankets before placing Marcus on the bed. He grabbed at Marcus's windbreaker pants and began to pull them down.

Marcus let out another yelp, grabbing the pants before they went any further. "What are you doing?"

"You sleep in your clothes?" Esca said like it was the strangest thing in the world. Esca slept in his clothes when he was out in the cold, but in a bed it was much more comfortable to sleep in his boxers.

"Well… no…" Marcus shrugged.

Esca continued trying to make it clear he wasn't going to try anything else. Marcus groaned as he moved his arms and pathetically pulled at his wife beater. Esca help him pull it over his head and soon Marcus was in only his boxers. Esca couldn't help but stare for a moment before grabbing the blankets and pulling them over Marcus.

Esca could feel himself getting excited at seeing the almost naked form. Marcus cleared his throat nervously. "Not to be weird, but you can sleep in the bed too. I promise, I won't try anything."

"Are you even gay?" Esca said pulling off his shirt and shucking his pants.

"Yes."

Oh. Esca froze. That was unexpected. After his first attempt at having sex with Marcus, Esca had just assumed he was straight.

Now standing awkwardly in only his boxers, Esca couldn't figure out what to do. Instantly he felt too nervous to get in the bed.

"What about that girl?" Esca asked.

Marcus had to rake his mind a bit before realizing whom Esca was talking about. "Cottia? She's a friend… how do you know about her?"

Esca flushed scarlet, he hated being caught by Marcus, which was beginning to happen a lot. Esca was not the sneaking, stalking mastermind he thought he was.

Marcus sat up and softly grasped Esca's hand. "It's okay, Esca."

Esca's breathing sped as Marcus's skin made contact with his. What had been only a slight hardening before was beginning to be very noticeable now that Esca was no longer wearing his jeans.

He didn't like feeling trapped, and Marcus grabbing his hand was making him feel just that. But there was warmth, warmth emanating from Marcus's palm that made Esca feel safe. It was time for Esca to make a decision.

In order for Marcus to not see Esca's entire hard manhood he quickly jumped into the bed and rolled on his side so he was facing away from Marcus.

Marcus sighed. He was probably trying to decide whether Esca's position in the bed was ultimately a victory or a defeat.

"I want to go to bed with you more than anything," Esca said in a hushed whisper. If Marcus was awake and heard, he didn't respond. Esca didn't know whether he was relieved or disappointed.

Marcus awoke with a start. There was a sharp pain in his leg as he realized he'd just been kicked. He looked to his side and saw that Esca was thrashing in his sleep.

"Esca," Marcus whispered afraid to and yet wanting to wake Esca up. "Esca, it's okay." He placed both hands on Esca's shoulders and pressed slightly to ease him into the bed. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

Esca seemed to calm a little. There was a fair amount of movement on the other side of his eyelids. Marcus laid back down, closer to Esca this time. Tentatively he placed an arm around him and pulled him close, hoping the warmth of his body would help calm Esca's dreams.

Esca's movements calmed and he eased into Marcus's body, welcoming the contact. Marcus flushed, feeling guilty of seemingly taking advantage of him in his sleep and being aroused by the closeness.

However soon enough Marcus fell back asleep and the two spent the rest of the night in the tight embrace.

When Esca awoke early the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was completely and utterly trapped. As his breathing hitched and his pulsed raced he took a moment to observe his surroundings. Marcus's room, Marcus's bed… Marcus's arm?

Esca realized that during the night they must have moved in their sleep closer. It was not a crime to accidentally grab something while you sleep. Marcus just happened to grab Esca, at least, that's what Esca believed. Because he wouldn't allow himself to believe that Marcus had chosen to hold Esca and care for him. That would be absurd.

Esca wondered if he could get out of Marcus's embrace without waking him. The Giant's snoring was a clue that he was probably a heavy sleeper. Esca softly lifted Marcus's arm and he eased himself out of the bed.

Padding barefoot on the floor, Esca quickly gathered his belongings and began dressing. He couldn't bring himself to look at Marcus for fear he'd long to stay with him. This could not become a habit. Not unless Marcus became one of Esca's Johns and at this point Esca didn't think he could handle that.

As Esca went to open the door he against his better judgment looked back. Marcus was sitting up in the bed, with half closed eyes and a smirk on his face. Esca groaned as he'd been caught.

"Leaving?" Marcus was such an ass.

"I have to go," Esca said opening the door.

"Stay for breakfast," Marcus tried again.

"Sorry," Esca said and he closed the door and nearly ran out of the apartment.

This was too much. Two nights in a row was too much for Esca and this had to stop. It just had to.

Despite having told Marcus he wasn't hungry, Esca was starving. Using the money he'd made from his run in with the Brit in the park, Esca headed over to the New York Minute.

"Hey," Jolie said as Esca entered the shop.

"Hey," Esca smiled. "Dontcha work nights?"

"I do," Jolie smiled. "I get off in five. You're early."

"Oh wow," Esca chuckled. It was only five in the morning. No wonder it was still so dark outside. "Coffee and a muffin."

"What kind?"

"Chocolate chip," Esca smiled. This was a treat.

"Nice choice," Jolie grabbed his muffin and began preparing the coffee. Two more workers came rushing in behind the counter.

"Hey Jolie," they both said breathless.

Esca gave them a strange look. Why were they so freaked? Then it happened, the whole place became flooded with people. It seemed in the five to six hour, this coffee shop did most of its business. Likely the masses on their way to work.

Esca watched in wonder from the single couch he'd managed to sit at before the rush. Jolie waved as she left the shop, obviously exhausted from working all night.

Esca watched the people coming and going. He watched the tons of faces. Then like a nightmare striking, he saw a face that he recognized. Esca felt his blood chill and a sweat break out as he made eye contact with High Roller.

He'd been seen, no doubt about it. Esca darted out of the shop and quickly ran with his bag and his half empty coffee. He'd already devoured the muffin.

He couldn't look behind him, he didn't want to know if High Roller was following him. So he ran. He didn't know where to go, the closest place to the shop happened to be Marcus's apartment. Once there, Esca didn't think, he just ran up the stairs and barged into Marcus's still unlocked apartment.

Later Esca would talk to Marcus about safety and the dangers of living in New York City.

"What's wrong?" Marcus asked immediately once he saw the terrified look on Esca's face. Esca didn't seem to notice that Marcus was still only wearing boxers. Instead he ran to the window and looked out.

He thought he saw High Roller turn the corner that led back to the coffee shop, but he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that he wasn't out there now, and in Marcus's apartment, with him so close, he felt safe.