I knew they were going to be disgusted with me. More importantly I couldn't look at Seth ever again. I could still see his look of terror as he witnessed with his own eyes what I had become. I don't know how long I sat under that tree until I heard someone call my name. I wished I could disappear inside of this tree because I knew running wouldn't get me far.
"Hope! There you are!" the voice cried. It wasn't Seth, it was Jasper.
Being the logical person I was, I turned to the other side of the trees and covered my tear covered face.
"I can see you," he said sitting down beside me.
I was hoping there was a chance that maybe he didn't know what happened.
"Seth told me what happened," he said, answering my question. I just started sobbing. I felt a cold arm around my shoulder and they just held me as I cried. He rubbed circles around my back and whispered that it was going to be OK.
"How?" I asked.
"We've taken care of it, don't worry about that," he said.
"But I..." I couldn't finish the sentence because I broke down. I had disappointed them this quickly. I was so ashamed. My eyes never had the opportunity to turn gold before I screwed up.
"I know what happened, better than anyone else. I have been where you are, I think most of us have but I'll be honest, it won't get easier, you'll get stronger," he said before hugging me one more time.
I was still crying a bit as we made our way back. I could hear Alice's steps before I could see her. She ran over to me and threw her arms around my shoulders.
"Thank goodness, you're okay!" she cried. "I got a vision of what happened and then you disappeared again. I am so sorry. I should have realized you'd need to hunt. Then for Seth to take you. He's gone with Jake and Nessie but I don't think he realized that with a newborn, you need to be a lot more careful."
"But if anything like this happens again, you need to tell us and we will help you through it," Alice said. "Don't run away again."
I started sobbing all over. "I'm so sorry."
"We know," Alice whispered.
"He just wanted to take me hunting because I was in so much pain," I whispered.
Jasper looked at Alice who nodded.
"I think we need to make sure you hunt daily from now on," Jasper said. Alice had a vision and gasped.
"We need to have our mail sent to the post office for a while," she muttered.
"What did you mean by newborn?" I asked.
"You are new to this life, newborns have a more difficult time controlling themselves," Jasper explained.
"Let's head back," Alice said.
We ran back and the first thing I noticed was Seth pacing across the lawn. When he saw me, he ran to me and scooped me into his arms and hugged me like his life depended on it.
"I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful. For now on, I'm going to leave hunting to the experts he said pointing to Jasper and Alice. "I think they are better prepared to prevent these things than I am."
"You're not scared of me, because you looked scared," I said.
"I was scared that you were upset with me for letting that happen," he said.
"I was scared you never wanted to see me again," I whispered.
"I would rather die than to never see you again," he whispered and kissed me softly on the lips. Fireworks exploded in my stomach and for a minute, I kissed him back.
"Alice?" I asked after Seth let me down.
She looked up at me and nodded.
"Will my eyes ever turn gold?" I asked.
"Eventually, there might be slip-ups along the way but I think you'll get it," she said.
My throat was now burning again.
"Alice, she's thirsty again," Jasper said to Alice.
"Let's go," Alice said, grabbing my hand. "I'm sorry Seth, but I need clear visions," she said.
"That's okay, I need to explain to the speak to Jacob," he said kissing me one last time.
Once we were in the woods, Jasper and Alice sat down on a log and I started to hunt.
This time I caught a cougar and Jasper was right, it taste better than a deer any day.
I looked back over to Jasper and Alice who were watching me carefully.
"You're still thirsty," Jasper said.
"Because you're an empath," I whispered.
"No, because your eyes are black," Alice said holding up a mirror to reveal my black eyes. "They turn black when we're thirsty enough. You're a newborn, so I hope you like that color because you'll be sporting that color often."