Chapter the Fourth. This One Tries To Pass The Bechdel Test.

The idea for this chapter came to me when I remembered the number of 'Postman Pat' dolls I saw placed on Royal Mail sorting frames. It was as as if the workers were attempting to invoke a local Post Office tutelary spirit or deity. Given Adora Belle was going to be involved here, I've tried to make the chapter pass the Bechdel test.

It was a small matter in some respects. A sorting frame is a kind of desk. Desks have drawers. Sorters need ready access to all the frame. It was reasonable that a votive image of Anoia, Goddess of Things That Get Stuck In Drawers, be placed near the frame's drawers. But something strange was happening...

Four women were checking the sorting desks on a mail train currently in a siding for cleaning and maintenance. (1) Ms Gladys was the first one to speak. (2)

'Miss Maccalariat, (3) When You Brought This To My Attention In The Sorting Hall, I Thought it Wise To Inform Ms Dearheart And To Investigate The Matter in Sub – Offices And Trains To See How Far It Had Spread.'

'I agree with your assessment, we wanted to be sure nothing amiss was going on.'

Then High Priestess of Anoia, Extremelia Mume spoke.

'I can rule that nothing amiss is happening by the principles of the Faith, but I have to say that what we have seen bears further looking into.'

The fourth member of the group, Mrs Adora Belle Von Lipwig Und Dearheart, (4) was feeling a little testy due to keeping to the Post Office 'no smoking' rule on postal premises and vehicles. That they had seen something unsettling was getting on her nerves and she could do with a drag. Or several drags.

'Lets leave the marshalling yard and find somewhere more comfortable to discuss things. This train isn't really big enough to accommodate us all properly.'

'Sorry Ms Dearheart, It's Difficult To Fit In Sometimes When You Are Very Tall.'

'Never mind, I think the Golems Trust offices will suit our purposes, unless High Priestess Mume doesn't mind me smoking in her office at the Temple.'

'I don't think that would be a problem. The Goddess herself is a heavy smoker.'

'We'll take it to the Goddess then. I think she will want to be consulted on this.'

The group left to take what they had seen to the Temple of Anoia and petition the Goddess for advice.

On sorting frames they had seen numerous images of the Goddess Anoia.

All of them bore a striking resemblance to Adora Belle Von Lipwig Und Dearheart.

When somebody finally noticed the image of Fedecks, Messenger of the Gods, at the top of each sorting frame resembled the Postmaster, the midden was really going to strike the windmill.

(1)For at least one of them this was for a given value of 'woman.'

(2)How a Golem became a woman and a feminist is in Sir Terry's Going Postal and Making Money.

(3)Being a Post Office Golem, she accepts that certain honorifics go with certain jobs.

(4)'Ms Dearheart' to Ms Gladys.