"Hey," Lucas said, and moved forward to give me a hug. I awkwardly stuck out my hand for a handshake, but mentally cursed myself upon seeing his confused expression at my outstretched hand. A beat passed before he grabbed it and shook it, and caught my gaze with his.

"I'm glad you're here, Maya" He said. It was like we were the only two people in the room, yet I knew in my head that that was the farthest thing from the truth. Us two were nowhere near the people we used to be, at least I wasn't. Regardless, tonight wasn't about me, or Lucas, or the two of us together in any way but in support for our friends. This was an evening to celebrate Riley and Farkle, not to dwell on the past.

I just nodded, not sure what to say, and quickly moved past him toward the table.

I went to take my seat which I'd agreed to let Riley place next to his. It only made sense to have the couple we were celebrating sit next to one another. I told Riley I was a big girl and that I could handle sitting next to him for one night. I know she was just trying to look out for me but I also wanted to believe that I didn't need babysitting at the dinner table.

I sat down and suddenly felt the chair moving. I glanced up and realized that he was pushing my chair in and he met my eyes once again. We held our gaze while he sat down until I felt my face beginning to flush and I broke away. I busied myself with placing my napkin in my lap and making sure the silverware was all in the exact right place. I felt a hand on top of mine after I'd shifted my fork around for the third time and looked up to see Riley with a concerned look on her face. Her eyebrows scrunched together and I nodded again, letting her know she had nothing to worry about. Because she didn't, I was fine. She brought her hand back to her lap and we looked up as Farkle brought over the main dish and placed it in the middle of the table. Riley began serving everyone as Farkle brought out the rest of the food and Lucas passed the plates to Riley.

Halfway through the meal I'd taken exactly four bites of my dinner. The conversation was loud and lively and, while I had chimed in a couple of times, I essentially kept my mouth shut the entire meal. I felt terrible. There I was shifting the rice around my plate with my fork that was most definitely in the right spot, zoning in and out of my own little world. My mind was spinning with thoughts and feelings that I found myself unable to comprehend and I was starting to feel dizzy from all of the commotion inside my brain.

All of a sudden it was too much. I rested my fork down on my plate and gently placed my napkin on the table. I pushed back my chair and I heard the conversation stop.

"Bathroom," I managed to say before I hurried out of the dining room.

I vaguely remember hearing Riley call after me but I couldn't turn around and look at his face again.

I grabbed my coat from my room down the hall and pulled it on. It was a beautiful spring night but still cool and it felt like there was a chill all through my bones. I made my way out of the room and down the hall.

I had to pass the dining room to get to the front door therefore there was no way I would be able to sneak out.

"Maya," Riley called as I tried to speed past the dining room toward the door. I stopped and looked at her, pleading with my eyes for her not to say anything more.

She was standing up and Farkle had his hand on her shoulder. Lucas wouldn't look at me and Riley looked broken inside, like she'd failed.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I just- I'm sorry," I grabbed the handle and yanked the door open, pulling it shut behind me. I didn't dare wait for the elevator; it felt like I was suffocating. I flew down flight after flight of stairs until I finally burst out the door into the open air. I grabbed the shoes off my feet and tucked them under my arm. The ground was still freezing but I couldn't be bothered anymore. That's when I started to run.