Right! Here's chapter four! I'm so sorry it's taken so long... but I hope you like it!
In case you forgot...
J James
S Sirius
SN Snape
C Counselor
R Remus
L Lily! (Yep, new character!)
J Morning Pat!
S Don't deny it Patty, I know you missed me this time!
C I've decided that the reason you two call me Pat and Patty, is because you're insecure, if I don't respond, you will stop calling me those names!
J But Pat is your name!
C Sorry but I can't hear you.
S Hey Patty! Patty?
C Cough
S Perfect... I think Patty is an old bag with no friends.. she doesn't realize that the only person in this room who actually needs counseling, is Moony.
J Agreed.
R Hey! I do not!
S Hey Moony?
R ..What?
S What ever happened to that Ancient Runes book of yours? Hehe..
R SHUT UP! I mean.. I think I lost it...
J Yeah, in the fireplace.. good one Pads
S Why thank you!
J You're welcome!
S Quite.
J Indeed..
R ...
C ...
SN ...
S Right...
J I think they're looking at you..
S No, they're looking at your glasses
J What? Why would they be looking at my-
C CAN WE CONTINUE??
J Sure thing Pat
S Go ahead Patty
C My name is.. never mind.. right, back to business, Mr Snape, in one word, describe how you felt when the 'Marauders' lit you on fire..
J Hot
S HAHAHAHAH! HOT!
R Hehe..
SN THATS NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!
J I bet it was...
S Look at me! I'm Snivellus on fire! HELP! IT'S HOT! I'M HOT!
C MR BLACK SIT DOWN!
J HAHAHA!
R C'mon Pat, it is pretty funny...
C What did you call me?
R Pat...
J Yes! Good on you mate!
S For your information, Moony, her name is Patty!
J PAT!
S PATTY!
J PAT!
S PATTY!
J PAT!
S PATTY!
J PAT!
S PATT-
C MY NAME IS COUNSELOR! CALL ME YOUR FREAKING COUNSELOR!
J Woah Pat, calm down!
S Yeah Patty, we were just mucking around, but you didn't have to go and yell!
R Women...
J Agreed.
S Agreed.
L What's agreed?
S ...
R ...
SN ...
J LILY!
L Hi James! Am I in the right place? Miss..? Sorry I wasn't told your name…
S Call her Patty!
J No no, her name is Pat!
S PATTY!
J PAT!
S PATTY!
C MY NAME IS COUNSELOR!
L Oh, erm.. hello P- I mean, counselor.. sorry...
C No, I'm sorry dear, it's these damn Marauders, they're going to drive me mad! You must be Lily Evans
L Welcome to my world.. you'll get used to it! And yes, I'm Lily.
C I hope not.. well, take a seat then!
J Lily's going to be in counseling from now on?
C Yes she is, is that a problem Mr Potter?
J OF COURSE NOT! THANK-YOU PAT!
S Well, at least we'll have someone to annoy...
L Whats that supposed to mean?
J Nothing Lily flower, Sirius didn't mean it.
S Prongs… you are so whipped.
J Am not!
R In James' defence Sirius, you don't know what that word means…
S I do, I'm just not going to tell you guys what it means…
J So Lily, why are you in here? Your no mentalerer than I am!
L Two things Potter, one, the word mentalerer doesn't exist, and two, maybe I'm in here because you've done nothing but ANNOY ME EVERY WAKING SECOND OF MY LIFE! EVER SINCE I STEPPED FOOT INTO THIS BLOODY SCHOOL!
J See how mean she is to me Pat? Did you hear that Padfoot?
S Yeah I heard her mate
J Did you hear Moony?
L For god's sake James I-
J No no Lily! I want to know if Moony heard your outburst.
R Well, yeah I heard her Prongs but-
J Thank-you.
L …That's it?
J Huh?
L … That's all you wanted to know? If they heard me?
J Oh, yeah.
L I.. don't understand..
J Don't understand what Lily flower?
L That-
C I think you all can agree I've been VERY patient with you four! I-
S There's five of us!
C Mr Snape hasn't done or said anything!
S I know Patty! He's so uncooperative…
C No, he's BEHAVING
S … No, I think he's being uncooperative Patty.
C Shut up Mr Black
S OUCH! MY SELF ESTEEM! Oooowww!!
J Oh jeez! Are you alright Padfoot?
C What are you talking about? Mr Black get up off the floor!
S It hurts!! I can't breathe!!
J What the hell is wrong with you Pat? What did you do?
S I'm so vulnerable! STOP LOOKING AT ME! I'm so fat…
R Sirius get up!
S SHUT UP MOONY! I REALISE I HAVE A BIG NOSE! NO NEED TO YELL IT TO THE WORLD!
C That's enough Mr Black! Get up! I will not allow you to ruin another lesson!
S Stop looking at my arse Snivellus!!
J Snivellus!! Well! I am shocked- actually… no, I'm not really…
SS I'm not looking at his…well I'm not looking there!-
J It's okay Snivellus, you're half way to serenity, admitting your… the way you are is one big step! Three cheers for Snivellus! Hippip!
S Hooray!- Ouch my abnormally huge nose…
J Hippip!
R Hooray…?
J Hippip!
L Hooray!!
SS Lily!
L Oh come on! You had it coming… besides, it all makes sense! Congratulations Sev!
J I love you Lily…
L Aww! How sweet! I love you too James!
S Ohh! Get a room!
C ENOUGH! MR BLACK, GET OFF THE FLOOR, THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! PHYSICALLY. MR LUPIN! PLEASE CONTROL MR BLACK! AND MR POTTER, KINDLY CEASE KISSING MISS EVANS AND RE-TAKE YOUR SEAT!! AND MR SNAPE, STOP CRYING THEY ARE ONLY KIDDING!
R What?
J WHAT?
S WHAT?!
SS I'm not crying!
J HAHHA
R HAHAHA!
S BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
C GET THE HELL OUT! ALL OF YOU! IMMIDIATLY! I CANNOT TAKE THE FRUSTRATION!
L No more counseling?
C I WILL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU NEXT WEEK!
J Aww…
S No!
R I have a potions essay due!
SS I cannot take this anymore!
L I suppose we can skip our date next week James…
J THANKS A LOT PAT!
C GET OUT!
S Why does she do this to herself..? Oh and Patty, you know I was kidding, my self esteem is as good as ever! So.. what are you doing later tonight?
C OUT!!