Author's Note: I'm considering having "Sorry The Update Is So Late" tattooed on my forehead as a way to pay for my sins. Seriously though, thank you for all your patience and thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. I hope you won't be disappointed with the new chapter. I tried my best and hopefully everyone is still in character. Now finally. Here's chapter four.
Chapter Four: There Is Kindness In Lies But Also Cruelty.
Like all forms of human communication, physical contact is often misinterpreted.
That hand that she places ever so subtly on your shoulder that makes your heart race doesn't mean what you think it does. She just needed something to help her keep her balance as she reaches for the book behind you. You might as well have been an empty chair. When your shoulders brush each other as you both hurry down the hall it means nothing. She just had to move over a little to avoid running into the wall. You were literally the lesser of two evils, with the other evil being a smack to the face. Those pats to the back, the playful shove to your shoulder, the ruffling of your hair, it all means nothing to her. She does it with everyone, don't go thinking your special. It could be argued that physical communication is even more covered with lies then its verbal counter part. Source: Me.
But in regards to my current situation I have somewhat of an idea as to what is trying to be conveyed. This six year old girl I barely know MAY in fact be happy to see me.
"Haa-chan, you made it!"
Contrary to what other people may think, and by other people I mean the few that know I exist, I am not entirely opposed to forms of physical contact. But only if I can anticipate them before they happen so I can brace myself and act accordingly. Having been caught off guard I was at a loss.
"H-Hey." I managed to squeak out.
I hold my arms rather awkwardly at my sides and Keika in turn has wrapped her own small arms around them, effectively binding them to my body like I was tied up with a rope. Have I been captured? Do I need to wave a white flag of surrender? I can promise I wouldn't make a good prisoner for you.
But when I look down at the happy face staring at me with something resembling admiration in her turquoise eyes I start to cave. Against my will I can feel the muscles in my face slowly starting to form a smile, but luckily the world was saved from seeing such a sight.
"Kei-chan! Its cold outside and your hair is still wet, you'll get sick!"
The voice was stern but not harsh and laced with motherly concern. Following the noise I find Kawasaki standing in the doorway with a towel in her hands and a worried expression on her face. It was at that moment I finally noticed that the front of my jacket had suddenly became damp and that the lose silver hair of this little girl was to blame. Her smile widened.
"Kei-chan wanted her hair to look like Haa-chan's, but Saa-chan said I couldn't, so I had to take a bath." Keika explained happily and pulled some of her silver locks in the air to demonstrate. Please stop. I can't take much more of the cuteness. Is this how it will be all night?!
"Oh...I see..well you really should dry off. Getting sick isn't fun you know." I tell her and look up to Kawasaki for support which I evidently didn't need.
"Okay!" with that she releases me from her hold only to grab onto my sleeve and begin dragging me into the house. Will I forever be at the mercy of girls grabbing my sleeves? Kawasaki backs up to give us enough room to enter and I was reminded that I wasn't the only guest.
I turn my head to the right to look at Komachi who had been surprisingly silent through that little exchange. Other then a small smile, her expression is hard for me to read and I feel a mixture of confusion and panic in the pit of my stomach. As she was my closest stranger I sort of prided myself on being able tell what she was thinking, but at the moment I was at a loss, and I was starting to get uneasy. I was so absorbed in the look she was giving me I nearly jumped when she softly closed the door behind her. I kicked my shoes off and tried not to seem like I was in a panic.
"Uhh S-Sorry." Kawasaki stammered as if suddenly remembering she had yet to actually acknowledge us. "You can leave your jackets and stuff here and then wait in the dining room. I have to help Kei-chan get ready."
"Sure." I answer. Kawasaki and I share a glance of understanding before she reaches her hand out to Keika. Seemingly being satisfied with leading me inside successfully, the young girl looked at me as if to say 'be here when I get back okay?' before letting go of my sleeve and taking her sister's hand.
"We'll be quick. My mom is a little behind with dinner anyway." Kawasaki told us. She glanced first to me and then to Komachi before bowing slightly and turning to leave. I watched as she led Keika down the small hallway before taking a left and fading out of view.
With nothing else to do the two us began to dismantle our armor consisting of jackets and scarves. To the right of the door were hooks that were already mostly full of other jackets and winter wear but we both managed to find empty ones to place our contributions to the clutter. The entire time Komachi remained silent. Seriously, stop it. I'm starting to get freaked out. Its bad enough that I'm in this needlessly complected situation but now the person who I thought would be my only ally while I'm stuck behind enemy lines has made it worse just by not talking.
Her expression didn't change and she kept smiling but there was something behind her eyes that eluded me. I thought about bringing it up, but she was usually the one to start conversations like that between us. It was like I had forgotten how and the words just wouldn't come to me. The only thing I could sense coming from her was the fact that she knew I was flustered by it, but that she wasn't going to do anything about it. I was basically drowning and she was content with standing there and watching water fill my lungs.
My little sister can be scary, and in the future she will be horrifying.
Having not been slowed down by having to over think things she finished before me and walked past me before turning right at the end of the hallway. I finished wrapping my scarf on the hook and patted it twice in recognition of its service to me before turning and following her.
As I found myself alone I began to take quick glances at my surroundings. Full bookshelf's lined the small hallway on both sides and an array of picture frames were on top of them. Overall the small space gave the impression of being full but not unorganized. A citrous like chemical smell hung in the air as well, indicating to me that the place had being vigorously cleaned recently. You really didn't need to do that. As someone who hates to work, the knowledge that I have made someone else work unnecessarily makes me feel bad. Stop making me feel bad.
Making my way forward I turn the corner. Komachi's voice can be heard coming from in front of me and relief that she hasn't lost her ability to speak washes over me. Its short lived however, as the second I walk through the door way I'm all but assaulted by an unfamiliar woman's voice.
"Oh! This must be Hikigaya-kun then?"
I was now in a rather plain but not unattractive looking dining room. To the left was the kitchen, which was separated from the dining room by a counter top. On the dining room side was Komachi who stared back at me with a smile, and on the other was a women wearing an apron with black shoulder length hair. She looked to be in her late thirties or perhaps early forties, but that was a mystery I would never know the answer to because the teachings of Hiratsuka-sensei had forbidden me from asking any women their age. She had a youthful air about her though. She stared happily at me for a moment before Komachi spoke.
"Yep! That's my Onii-chan. His pretty useless but I still mange to love him!"
"Komachi-chan, you shouldn't talk about your brother like that." the women said in teasing way that reminded me of a certain older sister that I both fear and loath. Thankfully there was no hint of a sinister undertone coming from this woman. "Ahh sorry, sorry! You must think my manners are terrible! Please come in and sit down Hikigaya-kun." she said while motioning for me to get closer to them. Reluctantly I oblige.
"Th-Thank you." I practically whispered and looked at the ground as I walked before finding my spot next to Komachi.
"If you couldn't tell, I'm Saki's mother, Kawasaki Natsuki. Calling me Kawasaki-san is fine. Or would you prefer Natsuki-chan? Hehe." she paused, much like a comedian does after they say a joke that they think will be received well. For a brief second I think about glancing at Komachi to signal her to help me but I decided against it. The two of them already knew each other. This is her introduction to me and as such it was up to me to respond. I decided to go with a dry laugh and hope for the best. Her demeanor went a little slack but she kept an upbeat posture.
"Well like I was telling Komachi-chan, my husband won't be joining us tonight. He really wanted to be here to show his gratitude but he just couldn't get off work. I'm sorry about that." she explained apolitically.
"Its fine, our parents couldn't make it either so-"
"Ahh! The tempura!" Kawasaki-san cut me off and wheeled around in a blur. Her hand darted to the nearest utensil and she fished the fried pieces of sea food out of a pot containing boiling oil. After staking them on a near by plate she she turned back to us.
"Not burned at least." she laughed softly seemingly out of embarrassment. I thought about comforting her by explaining that one of my club mates would have surely killed someone if they had been in her place, but it seemed in bad taste to do so. Not to mention there was a chance Komachi may relay that statement to Yuigahama and I hear enough of 'Hikki you're so mean!' that her adding on to the pile was completely unnecessary.
"Sorry for that! I'm a little behind, but it shouldn't be to much longer. If it gets to late I'll drive you both home alright?" she asked and looked right at me for conformation.
"That's fine."
"Oh! I can help you!" Komachi suddenly proclaimed and waved her arm in the air like a student in a classroom. Without even waiting for a response she dashed behind the counter and begun rummaging through a drawer. After a second or two she pulled out a purple apron and held it victoriously over her head like she had just found an ultra rare item.
"Just tell me where you want me!" she announced happily as she finished tying the apron into place.
"Ahh Komachi-chan, you're so reliable. If you except my offer you can help me out like this all the time." Kawasaki-san said smoothly and winked at my sister. Komachi laughed as if they were sharing some kind of inside joke and started to wash her hands. What offer?! What dirty underhanded dealings have been going on behind my back?!
As if sensing the new tension I was adding to the room they both looked at me.
"Hikigaya-kun, sit down and relax, we've got this." Kawasaki-san told me and waved her hand as if to shoo me away.
"S-Sure."
With that I made my way over to the black wooden table in the center of the dinning room and sat down at the corner seat.
The common idea is that any person put in this situation would find themselves suddenly becoming bored beyond belief, and while after a minute or two I did start to feel the effects of boredom come over me, I knew I had nothing to worry about. (At least for a while anyway.) Because a veteran loner like myself is someone who is well versed in the art of observation and through observing things one can invite an endless amount of entertaining ideas to keep them occupied.
…..this dinning room is plain and boring as hell. Damn.
My eyes scanned the room a few times and still found nothing of interest. Having no other options, and with the excuses that human eyes are naturally drawn to movement, I looked at the kitchen which my host and sister were currently shuffling around in.
At first glance Kawasaki and her mother don't resemble each other in looks or personality. Its entirely possible that shes just putting up a front though. It wouldn't surprise me if she was in 'need to be a good host' mode, and that she would not normally act so energetic or friendly. But I would likely never know. It would be easy to make an assumption but I know from experience that they could lead me down the wrong path. For now I'll accept her for how shes chosen to present herself.
She moved around the small white room somehow being both fluid and stiff in her actions. As if she knew what to do but hadn't actually done it in a while. Ahh yes, both the parents work so it stands to reason why she would be out of practice. Yet another reason for this family to needlessly work and in doing so making me feel needlessly guilty. Take out would have been fine as long as I didn't have to pay you know! Though admittedly, what ever they were cooking was starting to smell pretty good.
Upon farther inspection I've come to notice that I may have been wrong about the lack of similarity between the appearance between the before mentioned mother and daughter. The hair and eyes were different but the over all shape of the face was the same. It wouldn't surprise me if in twenty years Kawasaki looked the same way, mature but not worn out. Seeing her stand next to Komachi also told me that she was actually quite tall for a woman. Something Kawasaki had no doubt inherited from her. Or perhaps from her father? Maybe she got her distant personality from him as well? Are personality traits inherited genetically or is the way a child raised more important? Do neither of them play a factor and everyone's personality is just the product of societies influence? Why in the pursuit of answers does one almost always find more questions? Why must I be stuck here in this vortex of self asked questions instead of being at home doing nothing? Why-
"Hikigaya-kun...are you alright?" Kawasaki-san's voice pulled me out of the vortex.
"Err...yeah, sure." I answer absentmindedly. I must have spaced out for a while as it felt like they had made a lot of progress I didn't notice. She was looking at me with a knife in her hand and concern on her face.
"Oh well...you looked so...lonely." she said softly as if she wasn't sure that was the right word to use. "I was worried."
She was either a great actress or the genuineness of her concern was unmistakable. Either way the appropriate response wasn't coming to me and I just sat there dumbfounded. Luckily I was saved before things got to awkward.
"Oh don't mind that! That's just how he always looks. You get use to it after awhile." Komachi chimed in as she was busy deicing something up.
"Komachi-chaaaan." she said to my sister in the same teasing way she had before. The tense atmosphere was gone. Komachi really had saved me there. The moral of that little story is to always keep your closest stranger close. Haven been given time to think, I had a response ready.
"I'm fine, you don't have to worry, I was just spacing out there." it will work because its true.
"Well alright then. Taishi is up stairs finishing up some school work but he should be down soon. Then he can keep you company!"
Oh that's quite alright Ma'am. I wouldn't mind if he stays up there forever. Actually could you somehow arrange that? You are trying to be a gracious host after all right?
But alas, my inner most wish can not be spoken in such company and after I gave a nod of understanding we returned to our separate activities. Them cooking and me sitting there. I didn't think I would ever dislike not having to do anything. Isn't being forced to dislike something you love one of the levels of hell or something? As I contemplated my next move in my quest to entertain myself I suddenly found myself not needing to.
Quick and small footsteps came from the door I had previously entered before a high pitched, energetic, and undeniably cute voice filled the room.
"I'm sitting next to Haa-chan!"
Before I knew it the chair next to me was pulled out and Keika hurriedly climbed into it while holding a piece of paper in her hand. After adjusting herself she looked up at me happily and gave me a nod which made her hair that was now in her usual pigtails bounce. It was almost like she was confirming her status as my seat neighbor. You would think the effect of her cuteness would lessen and grow weaker with time, but much like a distant sun in a far off galaxy, it just keeps burning for several millenniums providing warmth and ultimately life itself to the surrounding planets. S-Shes really cute alright!
"Kei-chan, you shouldn't run in the house like that, its dangerous."
I was reminded that Keika hadn't entered the room alone when Kawasaki walked up and stood behind the chair directly in front of me. She didn't even seem to notice me as her attention was set squarely on the bundle of silver haired joy next to me.
"Okay Saa-chan, I won't." came Keika's answer as she reached into one of her pockets and placed a handful of crayons on the table in front of her. The blank piece of paper she had been holding joined them on the table and she went to work.
I turned my attention back to Kawasaki to find her staring back at me. At first she had a neutral expression on her face but after seeing me look her way she glared back. It was at this time I took note of what she was wearing, a white blouse with a light blue collar that showed a tasteful amount of her collar bone, and a pair of black jeans. It may just be the fact that I so rarely see her in anything other then her school uniform, but she gave me the impression of being dressed up. Like she had made an effort in deciding what she would wear. My plain blue dress shirt made me feel under dressed.
"Wh-what is it?"
Having been caught staring I immediately went to work forming my defensive strategy. Some of my idiot classmates (Tobe) may have thought I was quote 'totally checking her out' but I assure you that wasn't the case. I was merely...observing my surroundings! Yes, that's it, and she happens to now be in my surroundings. I am guiltless. Nevertheless, I anticipated a situation like this and have a strategy ready.
"You look nice."
Flawless.
Through the teachings of my little sister I was informed that when it is apparent that a female has made an effort in her appearance it was then the nearest males job to complement her on this as a 'reward' of sorts for her efforts. Considering that Komachi is within earshot, its in my best interest to adhere to that rule.
A lesser, more naïve man would have gone for the obligatory 'you look good' but there is a fatal flaw in that move. Almost anytime an unrelated boy tells a girl she 'looks good', her mind will jump to the conclusion of 'he means in a sexual way'. Even if that's as far from the truth as you can get. From there the exchange can go one of two ways, both depending on the preexisting relationship between both parties. In the first possible out come the girl wanted to get that reaction from the boy and with a blush or nervous laugh she welcomes his advance. In the other the boy's supposed advance is unwelcome and he is internally and sometimes even verbally labeled a creep. The girl will then go to great lengths to avoid him, as well as telling all her friends to do the same in shunning the boy. Source: Uhhhh my cousin's mother's brother's son. While by contrast me saying 'you look nice' in this situation saves me from such a senselessly complected problem. I can say a painting or a landscape looks nice and its almost impossible for my meaning to be misconstrued. So by giving her that response I answer my obligation to acknowledge her appearance while also giving me a reason to look at said appearance.
Truly flawless.
"Wh-Where the hell did that come from?" asked the very flustered girl in front of me. Covering her mouth with her hand suddenly as if she said something she shouldn't have she looked at Keika. "Kei-chan, never repeat what Saa-chan just said alright?"
"Okay!" came the response, though it was clear she wasn't paying attention. The masterpiece she was making seemed a lot more important to her.
I had been wrong. Or at the very least I had made a bad assumption. Two things I do to much. It was up to me to try and defuse the situation.
"Sorry...just trying to be polite." I stated but it sounded more like a question.
"Its fine." she pulled the chair out and took a seat. Opening her mouth she looked at me as if she wanted to say something else but had stopped herself. Then she looked away and her ponytail swayed in the air. After placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm she looked into the kitchen. Her eyes gave the impression that she was deep in thought about something. There wasn't an air of anger or annoyance about her like I expected but something more along the line of...confusion. As if she was trying to solve a problem that was out of her grasp.
It was then that I remembered that with the exception of Keika, who was happily in her own little world, we were basically alone. The few times we had been alone before were like this. Neither of us knowing what to say or if anything should be said. Not wanting to make things worse by making her think I'm still staring at her, I turn and look in the other direction. The wall I was looking at was blank and boring. What is with this room?!
A few minutes pass and except for the occasional enthusiastic noise coming from Keika the dinning room is dead silent. While by contrast the kitchen was lively with Kawasaki-san and Komachi chatting away like they were long time friends. How do those people do it? Ahh yes I had almost forgotten, Kawasaki wasn't that far removed from being being a loner like me. It was only recently that she had been forcibly dragged from under the bleachers of solitude to standing on the side lines of life while occasionally being tangled in the plays as they spill out of control. I knew the feeling.
"Hey."
I shift my eyes over and her eyes are boring through me. Gulp.
"Y-Yeah?"
"After dinner...we need to-"
A high pitched wail ripped through the air which stopped her from finishing that unbearably ambiguous sentence. At first I thought a cat was being murdered up stairs as it reminded me of the time I had stepped on Kamakura's tail. He still hasn't forgiven me. I've given up hope that he will. As the sound continued it took me a second or two to recognize it as the cries of a child. I had forgotten that this family had four children and I had only met three. Reacting almost immediately, Kawasaki-san put down the bowl she was steering and started to wipe her hands off on her apron.
"Don't worry, I'll go."
Kawasaki was up and heading for the doorway in an instant.
"Ahh thanks Saki!" her mother proclaimed and resumed what she was doing.
Before leaving she took a glance over her shoulder at me. Again not exactly angrily but like she was perplexed. I also got the sense that she was telling me to behave myself. Don't worry, I'm already under orders. "Don't embarrass the Service Club Hikigaya-kun" and all that.
Just like that, Keika and I were left in the dinning room alone, and this time I had the fun new activity of trying to figure out what Kawasaki was about to tell me. What did she want to talk to me about? I had a few ideas but by now I knew better then to assume I understood anything about her.
I laid my head down on the table and was considering taking a nap to dream my worries away when I heard a sharp intake of air come from my left. I turned slightly and with half my face still pressed to the table I saw that Keika looked like she had had a sudden realization of something important. Timidly she looked at me and then she pushed herself up to look over me at the kitchen. Following her line of sight I saw that she was looking at her mother.
"What is it?" I whispered.
Her eyes went back to me and she leaned in close before speaking.
"Kei-chan has something for Haa-chan in her room, but mommy said to wait until after dinner to give it to Haa-chan." she explained and attempted to whisper. Its likely the whole neighborhood heard her.
"Well, shouldn't we wait then?"
Being unsatisfied with my answer she reached over and pulled on my sleeve.
"But Kei-chan wants to do it nooooow." she pouted. It is now my duty to make sure that she and Isshiki never meet. Their combined powers would conquer the world and leave nothing for the rest of us. She kept staring and I was powerless.
"Well uhhh...I guess...if you want."
With a vigorous nod she climbed off of her chair and proceeded to drag me out of mine. Laughing happily she lead me around the table but suddenly realized that our "mission" was suppose to be a secret one and covered her mouth. Looking up at me she held a single finger to her mouth that did nothing to cover her massive grin. Turning around she basically started to run out of the room. This wasn't good. I shouldn't be going around someone else's house with a five year old as my tour guide. As we passed the counter and I was about to ask for help but Kawasaki-san was already looking at me. She smiled and nodded like she was giving me permission.
My last chance at a rescue was gone.
So away we went. Out the door, down the hallway, and passed the front door. We entered the part of the house I was unfamiliar with and kept going. Eventually she lead me to a stair case and we started to climb it. Several picture frames were on the wall that were hurriedly passed. I didn't want to look at them as it would feel like an invasion of privacy but eventually curiosity got the better of me and I took a few quick glances at them. From what I can tell they were the typical family pictures of happy moments and special occasions. My eyes instinctively went to the person I knew best among all the strangers and it was like I was watching Kawasaki grow up as we speed by them. In the pictures that looked like they were taken with out the subjects knowledge she looked normal with a smile here and there, but in the ones where the poses were obviously staged she portrayed nothing but discomfort. Has she been scowling for all time? I wonder. But who am I to judge? I take horrible pictures, hence my efforts at avoiding them.
When we were near the top the frames no longer held photos but multicolored drawings much like the one Keika had been creating back at the dinning table. I assumed they were all her creations but the last few were clearly more aged and the characters for 'Saki' were written in the bottom right corner. We reached the top of the stairs and took a left.
"This is Kei-chan's room."
Pushing the door to the dark room open with her free hand she entered it and I followed. After struggling to reach the light switch for a moment she finally got it and I was temporarily blinded by the light. Instinctively I brought the door to behind me. After regaining my vision I barely had anytime to look at the room before I was dragged and long and placed on a bed.
"Sit there for now Haa-chan." Keika told me and finally my poor sleeve was set free from her grasp. Skipping away gleefully for a few steps she stopped at a little desk next to the bed and started to rummage through it.
Leaving her to her task and with my eyesight back to normal I scanned the room.
It was strange. It was almost like it was two rooms put together. On the side I was in was a plethora of colors. Toys and pieces of clothes were lying in piles everywhere. It was the perfect example of a little girls room. By comparison the other side was very plain. There was a sliding door closet with a dresser next to it. A vanity with a chair in front of it was next to that and then there was a bed. Huh? Another bed? Why does she need two beds? Oh...oh.
This wasn't just Keika's room, it was theirs.
I was in Kawasaki's room right now. I was in a female classmate's room. From a purely logical sense this should mean nothing to me, but in the foolish adolescence part of my mind I was suddenly in a panic. I shouldn't be nervous at all really. I had been to Yukinoshita's house before and made it out fine...but I hadn't barged into her room like this. This is where Kawasaki slept and did other things. I started to blush. Stop it Hachiman! Remember 'best behavior'!
I nearly jumped when I felt Keika throw herself down next to me. Jovially she looked up at me and I noticed that she had a stack of papers in her hands.
"Kei-chan wants to show Haa-chan her favorite drawings."
"A-Alright."
With that she handed me the first one in her hands and I examined it. It was a tree standing in the middle of a field with the sun happily shining down on it as far as I could tell. Keika looked at me eagerly as if she was waiting for my review of it
"Its very nice."
If its even possible her smile got bigger and she reached out to take the paper away from me before replacing it with another. This process continued for a little while. About half of them were of her family and most of those were Kawasaki. Or at least I think they were. Some were more...abstract then others and were more like a collection of colorful blobs instead of actual shapes. Every time I looked at one she asked for my thoughts about it. My comments didn't go much beyond "the green in this one is nice" or "I like blue" but she ate it up like I was telling her some great truth.
Finally the stack of papers and been reduced to one and her demeanor changed slightly as if for the first time she was reluctant to show me it. Holding the drawing to her chest she looked up at me with nervous eyes before speaking.
"Kei-chan...made this one today."
Slowly she turned it in her hands and handed it to me. Taking it in my grasp and first looked at her with confusion and then down at it.
On one side of it was clearly a drawing on herself. The silver hair and ponytails were a clear give away, but holding her hand was another figure who hadn't been in any other the ones before. With a head covered in black spiky hair and clothing that vaguely resembled the uniform of my school it stared back at me with a wide smile...and the eyes of a dead fish.
I smiled then chuckled.
"Is it...bad?"
"No no its good...very...accurate. This is suppose to be me right?"
"Mmmhmm! Saa-chan helped Kei-chan with the eyes. She said the first time I drew them that they didn't look right. But its good now right?"
"Yes, very good."
She let out a sigh of relief before again growing timid.
"Its...Haa-chan's present. Does Haa-chan want it?"
Does she think I'd have the strength to refuse at this point?
"Well...if you want me to hold onto it I can."
With a broad smile her energy returned.
"Okay!"
With that she began gathering all the other drawings she had placed on the bed back into a stack and I looked back at my gift and swore to myself that no eyes shall fall upon it but mine. Comments like 'why is that little girl holding the hand of that monster thing' were something I would want to avoid. The smell of the food being cooked down stairs drifted in and I stood up.
"We should head back now. Dinner should just about be ready."
With a nod of confirmation she slid off the bed and headed back to the desk from which the drawings had emerged and placed the stack in her hand in the first drawer. I folded the one in my hand a few times and put it in my pocket. Instead of walking towards the door when she was done Keika looked back up at me and held her hands behind her. Without the timidness of before she spoke happily and firmly.
"Will Haa-chan be Kei-chan's friend?"
It was like I had been shot. At lest for me, the light atmosphere was gone and my body felt suddenly very heavy. It was that word. This was something anyone would expect from a child. They are taught to believe that things are as simple as that. That just asking someone to be your friend was all that was needed and then your relationship is settled and unbreakable.
Its not like that, not even close.
But I can understand it. Children are often lied to and the adults that do it hold the child's best interest in mind. Or at least that's the excuse they use. In reality things are complected and hurtful, so to spare them of that knowledge people lie. Its kind of painfully sad when you think about it. Like the previous generation has to lie to the next so that they feel motivated to become the next generation only to find out the harsh truths that were kept from them. Then the cycle will begin again and the deceived become the deceivers. So what do I do now? I can say yes and I know it will make her happy, but would it not be a lie? I have held true to my ideals when it comes to other people wouldn't it be wrong to not do that now? Its not like I can't lie, but recently I've always had the excuse that it was in one or another for someone else, even though that excuse is the same one so many others use. I like to think I'm different from the rest of the world but I'm not. I'm as easily susceptible to the makings of this world as anyone, but still...I don't want to lie.
The only other option would be to refuse her request. That would be cruel. I can be cruel. I have many times in the past but once again I had the excuse of helping other people. What then is left for me to do?
A few seconds pass that felt like centuries as she stares innocently up at me. Finally my brain gives me a solution and I hope for the best.
"I...can't be your friend Kei-chan..."
Her face changed and she looked like she could cry any second.
"...but I can be something better. Have you ever heard of secret friends?"
She shook her head no and I could breath again.
"You see, secret friends are when two people are friends but they don't tell anyone about it. It makes their friendship special."
She looked on in wonder as I explained and spoke eagerly when I was done.
"Then Haa-chan wants to be Kei-chan's secret friend?"
"Y-Yes if that's alright with you."
"Yeah! Kei-chan wants that!"
I walked towards her and leaned down a little.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone alright?"
"Kei-chan promises!"
"Good." was all I could say. It was really a stroke of genius. I used the idea that if only two people know about something that arguably it doesn't exist. It wasn't exactly a lie but not the truth either. I didn't feel good about it but it was the best solution I could come up with. "Lets get going then."
Grabbing my sleeve once more she pulled me along towards the door. She grabbed the handle with her free hand and opened it only to stop abruptly. Kawasaki was blocking our exit. Standing with her arms held at her sides and an unreadable down cast expression she didn't move for a second before suddenly jerking her head up like she had been daydreaming.
"Uhh...ummm...dinners ready."
TBC.
There it is. Hoping with all I've got that you liked it. There may be some mistakes as always (-_-) but hopefully they will be cleared up in a few days. I said last chapter that this story had two chapters left but after reorganizing it all in my head it now has two chapters to go from here and maybe an epilogue. Also the fourth Kawasaki child is unnamed at the moment as I wasn't sure what name or even gender to use, if you have a suggestion let me know because I would rather not have to call it an "it" the whole time. That's all for now, as always reviews are appreciated!
Update: Apparently the fourth Kawasaki child IS a boy but he is not named. So keep that in mind when suggesting names.