Chapter 4 – Lies

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. ~Mark Twain

"You think I don't know that? I speak from personal experience when I say that your friendship will make it worse Remus" Dumbledore answered, surprisingly calm for a man who'd just been shouted at by an enraged werewolf.

Remus stared at the old headmaster lost for words. He was talking sense but the old man hadn't been the one to see the look in Sirius' eyes. Surely Sirius would have known that Remus wouldn't have believed him at first. So why had he told him? Was it sheer desperation to get out of Azkaban? Or was Sirius hoping for something more?

Remus didn't answer the headmaster. He pushed his fringe out of his eyes and let himself think over what Sirius had said. He'd asked why he would betray James and Lily, and now that Remus thought about it the Sirius he knew wouldn't have – he would have died rather than betray his friends. His friends had always been his family, James especially. James and he had been inseparable at school. Like a moth to a flame, Sirius Black had always been drawn to James Potter. He'd nearly died trying to keep James safe more than once. Remus had never thought about it before, far too angry to consider the details, but it sounded absurd. The madman that he'd been painted as was nothing like the man that Remus had known.

"I know Albus. You have no idea how much I wanted to leave him, leave him there to rot. But I can't, I can't because he's all that I have left. He was there for me when I needed him most, the least I can do is return the favour" Remus said, slightly surprised by the words that the words that came out of his mouth and how right they felt.

"Are you saying that you want to believe him?" Dumbledore asked, sounding slightly surprised.

"I don't know! I- There's just some things that he said that didn't add up. Why would he betray Lily and James? Or Harry? They were his life Dumbledore. I've never seen him so happy as when he was playing with Harry"

"So you don't believe he betrayed them?"

"I'm just saying that it doesn't add up. Sirius swore he'd never become a death eater"

"But then if Sirius didn't betray them, and he wasn't the secret keeper, who was?"

That question had Remus stumped. He couldn't answer that. Sirius had said that they'd swapped to Peter. He didn't believe that. There was no way in hell that Peter could have been a death eater. Besides the fact that he was dead. But even if Sirius was right about having a different secret keeper, why would they have picked Peter? Why wouldn't they have asked him?

And then it hit him like a punch to the stomach. They'd thought that he was the spy. That hurt. All because he had been so distant. The worst thing was that he'd been distant to try and help them. He was working with the werewolves and he'd stayed away to keep them safe. So trying to keep them safe had led to their deaths. So if Sirius was speaking the truth then it made their deaths as much his fault as it was Sirius'.

It all started to make sense now. "Peter was the secret keeper"

"Peter? Disregarding that Sirius killed him, why would they have chosen Peter?"

"Sirius said they were trying to trick Voldemort, everyone knew that Sirius would be the secret keeper, so that was why he didn't do it. Sirius wanted the death eaters to go after him, and no matter what they did to him Sirius wouldn't be able to tell them," Remus answered numbly. He knew what it meant and the thought made him feel sick.

It sounded so like Sirius, always trying to get ahead, to get one over on Voldemort. He couldn't believe he'd never questioned it before. He'd been content to accept what he'd been told. He'd failed as a friend. He'd left Sirius, the last friend he had, to suffer in Azkaban when he'd done nothing wrong. He felt bile rise in his throat and he raced to the bathroom where he promptly vomited up his breakfast. Sirius had been there for him when no one else was, and he'd abandoned Sirius. Some friend he was. He wiped his mouth on his hand and walked back into the circular office. He was still shaking and he felt awful, but he had to explain, he had to make Dumbledore see.

"He was right headmaster. Sirius never betrayed anybody. He wouldn't… he couldn't"

"Remus think, you cannot allow yourself to be taken in by the memory of that sweet boy that you used to know" Dumbledore said rationally.

Why couldn't he see? Couldn't he see that Sirius would never do that? He'd loved the Potter's more than life itself, and yet Dumbledore would not see that. But then, that meant that Peter betrayed them, and Dumbledore refused to believe that. He needed to shock Dumbledore, to throw one of his own arguments back in the old man's face.

"Did you ever wonder why Peter followed James around like a lost sheep? He was a coward, always looking for the biggest and the strongest person to protect him. It never hit me before, but when we left Hogwarts it all changed. We suddenly weren't the biggest and strongest people, we were pathetic really against Voldemort. And Peter knew that. So once again he went looking for the biggest and strongest bully around, and became his servant"

"Remus think of what you're saying. Peter, a death eater? That's impossible" Dumbledore replied calmly.

Remus couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, towering over the still seated headmaster. How could he be so stupid? "Not when it makes sense its not. I never connected the dots before but it makes sense now. We were never allowed to say Voldemort in front of him, he was You-Know-Who. He used to refuse to go on raids, especially the ones when the death eaters caught us. He always seemed to know more than any of us"

A realisation hit Remus like a train. He actually fell back in his seat. "He was a rat. The three of them were animagi, and Peter was a rat" Remus whispered, his anger gone, replaced by a cold hatred.

Dumbledore stared at Remus as if seeing him for the first time. "So you think that Peter was the traitor? And the spy?"

Remus paused, knowing how important the next words he said would be. "I'm saying that it all makes sense. There were things with Sirius that never fit, but that's not the case with Peter. Tiny, insubstantial things that used to happen now make sense. He said and did some very odd things at the end of the war"

Dumbledore nodded slowly. He could remember how twitchy he got before everything went wrong. They'd all put it down to the stress of living in a war, but it could have quite easily been something much more sinister. "If that is the case, a terrible injustice has been wrought"

Remus nodded slowly. "We have to fix this"

"It will have to be done carefully, we'll have to gather enough evidence to prove Sirius' innocence before we can go to the Wizenagmot"

Remus' heart sank. That could take years! "But we can't just leave him there to rot while we search for the truth!"

Remus thought his heart was breaking. He knew what Dumbledore meant, but it didn't make the thought of leaving Sirius in that hellhole any better. He wanted to make it right. He'd left Sirius once when he needed him, and he swore to himself that he wouldn't do it again. He knew what he'd have to do, but the thought didn't bring him any solace. The friend that he'd mourned all these years had been the one who'd betrayed them all. He was still alive somewhere, and Remus would do anything in his power to change that. He'd lied to them all these years, but not anymore. Remus knew the truth now. But, before the hunt for Peter began there was something he had to do.