Wow this is such a late update, sorry! But finally, here is the end! Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed/alerted~ so grateful!
Quinn felt the tears pour down her cheeks as she watched her friends sing from the rafters. The more she tried to push the tears away, the more they started to fall. Her body started to shake uncontrollably from her sobs as the memories came flooding back – the good, the bad, the sad. She had never felt like this before. It was a different kind of emotion than she was used to. It wasn't anger or disappointment or even frustration, it was more like something was finally catching up with her; and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
Over they past few weeks, she had worked so hard to come to terms with her past. She looked at her mistakes and failures as things that made her stronger. She came to accept the fact that her father hated her, that her mother drank too much, that her sister didn't care. She came to realize that she had given Beth away on her own accord and she wasn't ever going to get her back. But what she didn't admit to herself was what Puck and her once shared. Quinn spent so much time convincing herself that they meant nothing, that they were simply two teenagers who had sex and ended up pregnant. But listening to the song made her realize that wasn't the truth. Those memories she had with Puck were real. They did mean something.
Recalling all their moments together made her cry because she was finally admitting to herself that her and Puck were over. They had their chance together. Maybe that's all it was supposed to be – a chance – and nothing more. That didn't stop it from hurting any less.
Quinn knew they could never go back to the way they were. It was over.
She felt empty, incomplete, broken. The walls started to close in around her as the song continued to be sung in the background. She couldn't stand the feeling of being trapped in a room where everyone had someone to love and someone to love them back. It reminded her of all the heartbreak and all the pain. She needed to get out of the auditorium. She needed to stop hearing the song that reminded her of everything she once had and everything she lost.
She turned on her heel and ran down the stairs as fast as her feet could take her. The wooden steps creaked under her weight as she stepped on them. She didn't care if Mr. Shoe heard her feet shuffling or if Santana happened to glance up and see her. It didn't matter anymore. None of that petty crap mattered.
She just needed to get out. Now.
The briskness of the cold air hits her the second she walked it outside. Her body shivered from the cool breeze carried by the wind but she didn't notice. Suddenly, she is running, running than she has never run before. For a mere second, she feels untouchable, like nothing can catch her, that she is finally escaping everything that every pulled her back. The wind pushes her ahead as her short blonde locks fly around her face, blocking her vision. Nevertheless, she runs harder and faster, and the second a thought pops up in her mind she pushes it away, using it as fuel for speed. She doesn't think about where she is going, she simply runs. The freedom of it all is empowering. A small feeling of pride builds up within her at the thought that maybe she's finally won: she has finally outrun her problems and the pain. However, the second she stops running she realizes how very wrong she was. Instead of running away from everything, she ended up right back where she started.
xxxxxx
Puck sighed heavily as he sat in the back row of the auditorium listening to the girls sing. He had managed to sneak in after Mr. Shue to hear the performance. He couldn't exactly explain why he felt the need to go watch but it was almost like some magnet pulled him towards the auditorium. At first he didn't recognize the song as the few keys began to play. However, the second Rachel's voice filled the air, it hit him. And it hit him strong. Before he could even attempt to control his thoughts, he was thinking about Quinn. He was picturing the first time he saw her crying on the bleachers near the football field. He could practically feel the cold metal of the bleachers on his skin as he remembered their first kiss. He could envision the dark sky, under which he and Quinn lay embraced in each other's arm. But most of all, he remembered how happy, complete and alive he felt when he was with her.
He doesn't realize that he is actually crying until a teardrop falls on his denim jeans. Normally, he would be quick to wipe the tears away, but not this time. This time he lets them fall freely because as much as it pains him to remember all the tender moments he shared with Quinn, it pains him even more to pretend like they never had anything at all.
Sitting in the red velvet auditorium chair listening to Santana, he realizes something. He always thought that his life changed the second Beth came into the world. He always assumed that her birth was the pivotal event that changed his life forever. But now he realizes that wasn't necessarily the case. Sure, Beth made him a different person, a better man. But seeing Quinn's face for the first time was the real game changer.
Quinn changed everything. She changed him.
He's tried to convince himself that what they had was over; it was history. And maybe it is. But part of what they shared would never change. They would always be tied together somehow, and no matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to forget Quinn. He would never be able to stop loving her.
The first time ever I saw your face, your face, your face, your face
As the song comes to an end, he looks up at the stage and locks eyes with Santana. She makes no movement to indicate her surprise at seeing him there. He figures she probably saw him from the very beginning. Instead of making a bitchy comment about his presence, she remains silence and serious. For a few seconds, they stare each other, wordlessly sharing thoughts. Slowly, Santana nods her head towards the direction of the door, encouraging him to go: to go fight for the one girl he believes in more than himself. One slight action from Santana is enough, because he is up on his feet and running to the door before he even realizes it. He pauses for a short moment to look back at her.
"Go," she mouths.
And he does.
He shoves the door open and bolts down the empty school hallway, his shoes squeak against the linoleum floor. He doesn't notice his surroundings or even think about where he was going. Puck simply lets his feet take him to where he needs to go. Somehow, after all this time, they still know their way back to her.
xxxxx
He finds her sitting on the orange bleachers moments later, head in her hands, blonde hair fluttering in the wind. He watches her from a distance for a few moments and cannot help but notice how broken and vulnerable she looks. It's a look that is very rarely worn by Quinn Fabray.
As Puck approaches her, he realizes that she is crying and he is overcome with this enormous need to comfort her and pull her close. It takes everything in his power to stop himself from reaching out to tuck the wispy pieces of her blonde hair away from her tear stained face. Her sobs prevent her from hearing his approaching footsteps. It is not until he takes a seat a foot or two away from her that she finally looks up from her position. Under a veil of tear-coated eyelashes, her hazel eyes meet his. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't really need to. It feels like they understand each other better in that one moment than they have in over 12 months. Puck reaches over and places his hand on hers and is surprised when she doesn't pull back.
Quinn slowly draws her eyes away from his, focusing her gaze on the football field right in front of her. It all seems so surreal: sitting on the bleachers next to Puck. It is reminiscent of the first time they met. The reality of it provides some comfort but it scares her more than anything else.
"What happened to us?" she finally chokes out.
"I don't know," he whispers back. His voice is heavy with emotion and Quinn can instantly tell that something is on his mind too.
Quinn sighs deeply to calm herself, but it comes out shaky and she can feel the emotion building up inside of her at an overwhelming speed. "I miss you," she finally admits.
Her confession surprises him, and he finds himself slightly taken aback by her words. "I miss you too. I always miss you."
"Do you ever think about us?" she asks, "What we had?"
"All the time."
No words are spoken for a few minutes, as they both let the words settle in.
"I'm sorry," Quinn blurts out. "I'm sorry that I made you feel second best to Finn, I'm sorry that I lied about who the father was for months, I'm sorry I pushed you away after Beth was born…I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance…that I didn't give us a chance….I'm sorry that I screwed everything up."
"Hey," Puck replies gently, scooting himself closer to Quinn and resting his arm on her shoulder gently to comfort her.
Quinn is full out sobbing again now, her body shaking.
"I'm so….sorry," she screams out between the sobs.
"Hey Q…it's okay," Puck says softly.
"NO IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT OKAY," she yells, "It's never going to be okay! I just watched my best friends give a beautiful performance about seeing someone for the very first time and knowing that they are the one for you; and knowing that you love them more than anything else in the world. I watched as Rachel sang about Finn and Santana about Brittany, and I could see how happy they were. How complete they felt. And then I realized that I had that once too. With you. I suddenly could envision every fucking moment we ever spent together. The first time we meet, right here on these bleachers. The time you kissed me in the rain mere seconds after we were screaming shit at each other. That time we star gazed and everything felt like it was going to be okay. The day you bought me that tiny Christmas tree, or when you shaved my legs because my stupid stomach wouldn't let me bend down, or when you told me you loved me in the hospital. But then we lost all of that. And it hurts so much to think about…"
The words flood out of her mouth so quickly that she doesn't even know what she is saying. But they second they are released into the air, she feels an enormous weight being lifted off her shoulders. She feels like she has finally chucked aside a giant boulder that has been dragging her down for months. But she also feels so exposed and more herself than she ever has felt before.
"Q..." Puck says gently as to not upset her even more. He had no idea that Quinn heard the glee song too, or that she remembered all the memories and moments they shared together like he did. At a loss for words, he simply pulls her towards him, wrapping his arms around her fragile body. She doesn't pull back. The warmth of him around her makes her feel safe from everything sad and painful.
"Quinn, you don't need to apologize for anything, okay?" he says, slowly titling her chin up to look at him. "We both fucked up. I shouldn't have given up on you so easily. I shouldn't have told you that I didn't care about you anymore, or that I would rather raw dog a beehive. Because that's not true, and its never been true. I care about you so fucking much that I just wanted to knock some sense into you; I wanted to help you. I know why you pushed me away; maybe we just needed some space. But I shouldn't have given up so easily. I should have fought for you."
She sighed, a slight smile forming on her lips hearing that he still cares about her. Slowly, she says, "I've spent so much fucking time coming to terms with my past, and finally learning to accept my mistakes. But hearing that song afterschool today, made me realize something. It made me realize that there was still one thing I wasn't letting myself confront. You. And what he once had. And what we let go off. Today, I had to finally admit to myself that all of that is over. "
"I don't think we'll ever really be over. How can we be? Forty years from now I won't remember who sang what at regionals or what year we came in last because Finchel decided to swap spit on stage. I probably won't remember everyone's name or stay in touch with them. But you and me, Q? We will never be over. We share something that no one else in this school does. And I'm not just talking about Beth. I'm talking about our fucked up fathers, the screwed up lies we told, our ability to make everybody else feel inferior just because we feel like crap inside and how we both can pretend everything is okay when it's not. But we also know what it feels like to love someone more than anything else in the world and the heartache you feel when you have to give her up. I won't ever forget about you Quinn."
The tears fall down her cheeks again as she listens to him speak. "Do you promise?"
"Of course I do. You know that song Rachel and Santana were singing? The one you mentioned…."The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face?" "
"Yeah…" Quinn replies, the confusion evident in her voice.
"Well, I have to admit that I also snuck into the auditorium after school today to watch."
She sits up quickly at his confession, her eyebrows furrowed out of confusion as a small grin slowly starts to appear on her face. "Seriously?
He sighs, "Seriously. And that goddamn song made me think of everything we had too Q. It hurt to think about how we went from being everything to being nothing. But at the same time, it made me realize how grateful I am for those memories. And how grateful I am to have to in my life."
"I want you to know that I don't regret any of those moments we had Puck… I don't regret sleeping with you or think of Beth as a mistake. But I regret giving up on us."
"Me too."
"It's funny to think that we first met here, and how here we are once again. It's almost like one big giant circle."
"Maybe it's a sign."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe we're right back were we started for a reason. Maybe it's a chance to start over, without ever really forgetting. Because I never want to forget about those moments Q, no matter how sad or painful remembering them may be. They changed me for the better…you changed me."
Her eyes began to fill will tears. Something suddenly ignites within her that tells her Puck is the one. He has always been the one. She knew it the first time she saw him three years ago.
He was the one for her.
This thought is confirmed as he leans in and presses a kiss to her lips. The rush of emotion – love, relief, and happiness – that she feels at this moment is unlike anything she has ever felt before. For once, she feels complete again: like Puck is the glue she needs to put her back together – piece-by-piece. She smiles into the kiss as she pushes her lips against his more passionately. Puck runs a hand through her blonde hair as he draws her closer, their lips never breaking contact.
They mold together perfectly. Suddenly, it feels like three years ago, but this time it's even more perfect. This time, there is no one preventing them from being together. This time, they don't care about reputation. This time, it's all about them and who they've become. But mainly, it's all about love.
Pulling back, both of them can't help but break out into huge smiles. Puck leans in to rest his forehead against hers. This moment is too perfect, and he can't help but remember the first time they met – sitting in this very spot.
He tenderly pulls back a section of her hair and softy says… "The first time I saw your face, I knew that I loved you; and that I would never be able to stop. I still haven't."
Cheesy? Just a little ;) but I couldn't help myself. Once again, thank you to everyone who has read this story and alerted it, it really does mean a lot to me. Special thanks to BMontague, DelenaxFantasy, olacindy, andsoitis2, asia, A New Side Of Awesome, fartsinurface6, and Gleestories11223 for reviewing. I hope you liked the end :)