In honor of Bella's birthday tomorrow, here is a birthday chapter just for her! Hope you like!
Thursday, September 13th, 2012
This past week seemed to fly by, probably because today lurked on the horizon. Today was going to be one of those days where certain things, were going to spark certain memories. Not that I minded, but sometimes those memories weren't the happiest. Today wasn't just another day without her. Today was another birthday without her. And for some reason, birthdays were the worst days for me. This would be the sixth birthday we didn't get to spend "together". Of course I always visit her on this day, but it just never feels the same.
Today was Bella's 30th birthday. I can only imagine what she would have been like on this day. She was always worried about getting older. She didn't like the aspect of getting old. She would tell me that she wanted to get old gracefully. She didn't want to wake up one morning with grey hair and wrinkles. I told her that even if she did, she'd still look beautiful to me. Even though she was afraid of aging, she was never afraid of dying. She was like my mother in that way, neither of them fearing death.
If Bella was here with me today, she would have told me not to make a big deal out of her birthday. And like always, I wouldn't listen. I always ended up throwing some type of party for her. They were never a surprise because she always knew I wouldn't listen, yet she hoped every time she told me no party. This year wouldn't have been an acceptation.
Every year I take this day off of work. Not because I want to sit at home and grieve, but because I want to spend most of this day with my wife. Even if it means just sitting by her bedside and telling her stories for five hours; nobody should spend their birthday alone.
8:30am
I was sitting in the diner across town. I had just dropped McKayla off at school, with a little resistance. She didn't want to leave me alone today, but I told her that her mom would want her in school and learning today. McKayla told me that she'd be thinking about Bella all day, today. I remember the small ache in my chest when she said that. Hopefully, we'll get to spend her next birthday together.
The Carver Café was a small diner that Bella and I used to go to all the time when we were first married. It was a little run down, the booths were ripping in places and some of the tables were wobbly, but it had amazing food. I was sitting in the booth in far right of the diner, right next to the window overlooking a small field. This was our table.
"Hey Edward, how are you?" The waitress, Cora, greeted me as came up to the table. She set down a white coffee mug and filled it with my drink of choice, black coffee.
"Hi Cora. I'm good. How are you?" I said, picking up the steaming mug.
"I'm wonderful. How's McKayla these days? Still full of energy, I hope?" She smiled at me. She had these laugh lines etched into her cheeks. Cora was always smiling and laughing.
"Oh yeah. She started Kindergarten a few weeks ago. She's running her energy out there." I chuckled.
"Relief for you I would think?" She said, pulling out her notepad. "The usual, I'm guessing?"
"Yes, thank you." I said, with a nod. She gave me one last smile before walking off to put my order in.
I kind of let my wonder off as I stared off into the field. There was a breeze blowing outside and the tall grasses were swaying with it. It looked so peaceful. The tree's outside were starting to change colors. There were beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red out there. Bella loved this season the best. She loved everything about fall; the leaves changing, the smell of the air. Bella loved to sit outside on fall nights with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and just look at the stars.
I remember this one time when we first moved into our house all those years ago and all the leaves from the trees in our yard fell off. I was trying to rake them up, but Bella had a different idea. Once I had them in a nice pile, she would kick them around the yard. Of course I got frustrated, and raked them back up again. She looked at me innocently like she didn't do anything. And then, once I got them all raked up again, she'd do it again. She thought it was so funny. Eventually, I gave up after the fourth try raking them up. I threw down my rake and chased her around the yard. She would retaliate by picking up leaves and throwing them at me. We were acting like five year olds, but we didn't really care. I picked up some leaves and began to throw them back. It turned into an all-out war. Leaves were flying and getting stuck in our hair and on our clothes. She looked so beautiful with the red, orange and yellow leaves in her hair. I remember I had caught up to her and picked her up and fell backwards into a pile of leaves, she must have missed.
She laid there on top of me, laughing and trying to catch her breath. I brought my hand up, and brushed a piece of her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her hair. She looked at me, with those chocolate brown eyes and ran her hands through my bronze locks. I took my hand and rested it on her cheek, rubbing my thumb back and forth across her soft skin. I remember bringing her face closer to mine and resting her forehead on mine. . . .
"Here you go, Edward." Cora said, jolting me out of the memory.
"Thank you." I look away from the window and begin cutting into my waffle.
10:08am
I pulled up to a store in Port Angeles. I walk up to the little jewelry shop at the end of the little strip mall. The tinkling of the little bell on the door announces my presence. I walk over to the glass display case near the front of the store. There is a little old woman who is down at the other end cleaning the glass. She looks up and smiles at me. I give a curt nod and look back down at the display case.
Every year on Bella's birthday I've bought her a charm, for the bracelet I bought her back when we first officially started dating in high school. These past six years haven't been an acceptation. She was turning the big 3-0 this year, so this charm had to be extra special. I looked in the case at the various charms displayed. There were birds, hearts, music notes and various other objects. I also tried to find the one that stood out to me the most. The one charm that brought about something in me.
"What can I help you with, my dear?" The old woman had made her way down to me.
"Oh, I'm just looking for the perfect charm for my wife." I said, casually with my brow furrowed. None of these ones were sticking out to me.
"Did you have a particular item in mind?" Her voice had that grandmotherly, sweet tone to it.
"Well, she's already got most of these. I just want something really special. She's turning thirty today."
"Hmmm," the old woman tapped her chin with her boney finger. "I might have something somewhere. I'll have to go get it from the back. Do you mind waiting?"
"No, not at all." I said to her. She told me she'd be back in a flash and disappeared behind a curtain.
I wondered away from the display and looked around the store. The store had more than jewelry in it, but nothing Bella would be interested in. She wasn't an accessory kind of girl. She didn't like anything too flashy or too big. Her wedding band had a simple diamond on it. It looked like I'd just bought it out of one of those machines they have the mall and grocery stores. But, she liked it that way.
I was looking at some necklaces when the old lady finally came back. "Sorry about that, my son was on the phone. Does this look special enough?" She showed me what was in her hand.
It was a gorgeous diamond shaped heart. I could tell that it wasn't fake. The little amount of sunlight streaming in through the window, made it cast a rainbow across my hand. I already gave Bella a heart charm when I first told her I loved her, but this one seems to hold a different meaning to me.
"It's perfect." I whispered.
"Then it's yours. It was just something I had sitting back in the storage room for a while. I've always forgotten to put it out on display." She said, walking back over to the cashier's counter.
"Thank you so much. She's going to love this, when she wakes up." I said, following her to the counter and pulling out my wallet.
"She still at home sleeping?" She gave a chuckle at my statement. My smile kind of dropped a little.
"Um, she's actually in the hospital. She, uh," I began to choke up. I cleared my throat. "She's in a coma."
"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize." The old woman put on the sympathy look I've gotten so much over the years.
"It's alright," I cleared my throat again. "How much?"
She looked at me for a second before answering. "For you, half price. That would be $45.67."
I pulled out a fifty and told her to keep the change. "Thank you, again."
"You are welcome, dear. And, I hope your wife wakes up soon." She smiled that sweet smile from before. I only gave a nod before heading for the door.
11:22am
After the jewelry store, I drove down the street to a flower shop. I picked up a bouquet of white daisies. And then I drove up to the hospital. I walked down the familiar hall to the familiar room in the ICU. I put the flowers in the vase sitting on the night stand and then sat down in the chair.
"Hey love," I said. I grasped her unmoving hand. "Happy birthday, you're thirty today. I know what you'd be telling me today, 'Age is just a number. And no party!' Of course you know me. I wouldn't have listened." I swirled my thumb over her knuckles.
"I got you another charm today. Some nice old lady found it in the back of her store. It might stick out amongst your others, though." Her bracelet was sitting on her night stand. I picked it up and pulled the charm out of my pocket. I attach it to the bracelet in between the wedding rings and the chef hat. It did kind of stick out, but I liked it that way.
"Today is probably one of the most important days in my life. It was the day the most important person in my life, came into the world. I couldn't be a happier person. I wish you were mentally here with me right now. So, you could hear me tell you all of this. I really miss you. I wish I could spend this birthday with you. I want to see you blush again, when everyone sings you Happy Birthday around your cake that you've baked yourself. I want to see you laugh over the gag gifts everyone gets you. I want to hear everyone yell at us to get a room when we share a kiss over the gift I've given you." I take a small pause to collect my thoughts. I'm still holding the bracelet in my hands. I begin to look at every charm dangling from it. My hand stops on one in particular. It is a small silver, soda bottle.
"I remember that year on your 14th birthday, where Rose and Alice thought it was a good idea to play spin the bottle. That was the first time we kissed each other. . . ."
Friday September 13th 1996 (8:47pm)
I was sitting on the couch in Bella's living room. Today was her 14th birthday and she was having a small party with all her friends. Besides me it was our close circle of friends, Emmett, Alice, Japser and Rosalie. Emmett was over at the snack table eating, like always. Jasper was sitting next to me on the couch, flirting with Alice who was sitting on the floor beside Rosalie and Bella. The girls were trying to come up with a fun party game to play. Oh, and Bella's parents had gone out on a date to give us some privacy. They trusted a bunch of hormonal teenagers too much.
"We could always play truth or dare." Alice suggested. Rose scoffed at that idea.
"That is so boring. Everyone always picks truth just because they don't want to do something embarrassing." Rose said, looking down at her nails.
"That's because girls are a bunch of wussies." Emmett said after swallowing a mouth full of pretzels.
"Bite me." Rose shot back.
"Is that a dare?" Emm said with an eyebrow wiggle. Rose and Emm have been flirting with each other on and off all year.
"Ugh, you're nasty," Rose said, throwing a pillow from the nearby chair at him. "How about we play spin the bottle?"
"Don't we need more people for that?" Bella said, biting her lip.
"No, we'll be fine. If worse comes to worse, Edward and Emmett will finally realize their bromance is real." Rose said with a giggle, getting up and walking into the kitchen.
"Hey, Edward and I would make a cute couple! Right, Ed?" Emmett said. I cocked my eyebrow at him.
"If you weren't a dude, maybe."
"You saying I need to act more famine?" He walked away from the snack table, and stood right next to me. In his best girl voice he says, "Like, omg, Edward! Your hair looks so amazing tonight!" He runs his hand through my tousled locks. I quickly stand up and back away from him.
"Uh, that was really freaky. And, a good impression at the same time." Jasper said, laughing from his spot on the couch.
"Why does Jasper look like he's dying from a lack of oxygen?" Rose says walking back in with an empty soda bottle.
"Emmett just impersonated a girl and hit on Edward. Their bromance is on." Alice said
"Well, isn't that just great. Now, let's hope they don't make out during this game." Rose said, sitting down in the middle of the living room, placing the bottle on the floor. Everyone sat in a circle around the bottle.
"I'm not kissing him. Sorry, Emm. I don't know where your lips have been." I said, patting him on the back.
"But, why? Like, I thought we were good like together. Are we like, breaking up now? OMG!" Emm pretended to cry into his hands.
"It's okay, Emm. Jasper is still available," Alice said, giggling at the look Jasper just gave her. "Now, I think Bella should go first. Since it's her birthday and all."
"Alright. But Alice, just so you know if this lands on you, no tongue." Bella said, before twirling the bottle with a bit of force. I watched the bottle as it spun around and around on the wooden floor. I began to sweat a little. I didn't want it to land on me. I didn't get why we were playing this game with each other. Weren't you supposed to play with this more then six people and people who you weren't best friends with? I just think Rose just wanted an excuse to kiss Emmett.
The bottle began to slow down, and as it made its final turn, the nose of the bottle pointed slightly to my left.
"Ooooooooooooo! Bella has to kiss Eddiward! Watch out, I heard he uses to much tongue and he bites." Emm said, with a chuckle. I gave him a glare.
"Uhh, does everyone have to look?" Bella was looking at me, worrying her lip with her teeth.
"This isn't 7 minutes in heaven, but if you want to play that game, I'm sure it can be arranged." Rose said, with a smirk on her face.
"No!" Bella said all too quickly. "I mean." She started to turn a cute shade of pink. "Fine." She crawled across the circle and sat in front of me. She looked me in the eyes. I was about to kiss my best friend. And I didn't even like her that way. At least, I never thought I liked her that way.
I licked my bottom lip. I decided to get it over with and brought my head closer to hers. She sucked in a breath before our lips met. And if was like something in me went off. Her lips fit perfectly with mine. It wasn't even that sloppy kind of kiss, it was just a peck to the lips and it was over. She pulled her head away. Her eyes were somewhat wide in shock. I could tell she felt what I had just felt.
She blushed that crimson shade of red and crawled back to her spot. I didn't realize it but everyone was staring at us.
-oOo-
"And I remember touching my lips after that kiss and still feeling yours there. You had some strawberry lip gloss on and I could taste it. I knew after that, that I was definitely feeling something for you. It only took a push from my mother to get me to act on it. And I'm glad I did." I set the bracelet back down on the table.
"Happy Birthday, love. I love you. I hope I get to spend your next birthday with you." I kissed her on the forehead before leaving the hospital.
I've been busy with school and distractions, but I managed to get this chapter out to you guys! See you next week! xoxo