Story: Dear Dark Lord
Author: Mihra~Attar
Chapter: 4
Chapter Rating: M
Disclaimer: Don't own, etc.
Summary: There isn't one…yet…deal.
A/N: ~Whimpers~ It just happened, okay?
Guide:
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ = normal scene break/letter
~*~*~ = mini-scene break (not always used)
~*~*~*~*~PS~*~*~*~*~ Parselscript follows
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Last time on DDL:
…
If you didn't wish the spare to die you shouldn't have been so chivalrous as to share your victory. Therefore you are the one to have caused his death.
…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mouldy Voldie,
Fuck you.
-Scarhead
After reading the missive the owl's rapid departure made a great deal of sense.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Potter,
That wasn't nice. Next time you insult me like that I will kill your owl.
-The Dark Lord
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lucius,
Please forward the enclosed to your master.
-Harry Potter
~*~*~*~
Voldie,
Thanks for the warning. I'll be sure to take the necessary precautions…as you can see.
Have I mentioned I've been relocated? Right under your nose too. Nyeah nyeah! Still have cleaning chores though. Do you have to clean up after your torture people, or do you get your Corpse Munchers to do it for you?
Oh, I just remembered what Peeves kept singing at me in second year. I think you might appreciate it.
Potter, you rotter, what have you done? You're killing off students, you think it's good fun!
-The-Boy-You-Keep-Failing-at-Offing
P.S. Expect a present.
P.P.S. Write in parselscript from now on.
~*~*~*~*~PS~*~*~*~*~
Potter you rotter,
You're right. I did appreciate it. Relocated you say? Care to tell me where?
No, I don't have to clean up after myself. That's what house elves are for…and Wormtail.
A present you say. Care to give me a hint?
-Voldemort
~*~*~*~*~PS~*~*~*~*~
The Dark Anagram Nerd,
Why give you a hint when I can show you? Enjoy.
Truly Yours
Parry Otter
~*~*~*~
"LUCIUS!"
"Ye-es master?"
"What is this?"
"…"
"Lucius?"
"I think I'm going to be sick."
~*~*~*~*~
"Wow. I'm glad we had a camera on hand." Harry sat smugly, holding a set of photos in his hands.
"I'm glad everyone except Dumbledore and Him agreed to participate." George said, grinning from ear-to-ear.
"I'm glad Fred agreed to be Lucius." Harry mentioned, wincing at the though of what Fred had endured.
"I'm glad Tonks managed to pull of Voldie's face in a female body." Fred said slyly.
Tonks just shuddered.
They continued looking at the pictures.
"Hey, there's the one with George-Albus!" Ron pointed out through a mouthful of sandwich.
"Eew. Oh, eew eew eew!" Ginny shuddered.
"Hey, you as you was just as disturbing. How come we didn't know you could do dominatrix?" Hermione asked.
"You were even better. A muggleborn holding Lucius Malfoy's leash!"
"I cannot believe I let you brew that potion." Severus said from the other side of the room.
"I found it rather liberating." Arthur said from the kitchen.
"Arthur!" Molly's voice was followed by a hollow slapping sound.
"Sorry dear!" Arthur yelped.
"Twin power!" Fred and George snickered at a picture of them…actually Ginny and Ron polyjuiced, but close enough, and Lucius.
"Should we send one to Draco as a present?" Harry asked.
"Oh, can we?" Ron added.
"I'll think about it." Hermione said, gathering the whole set up.
"Why did we put you in charge of them again?" Ginny asked.
"Because none of you have any restraint whatsoever." Hermione replied. "And you'd regret something eventually."
"Oh, right." Ginny pouted.
"Can we at least send one of them to Rita?" Harry asked.
"No." Hermione snapped. "Now it's time to eat."
Her glare was enough to make them all scramble into the kitchen.