Disclaimer: Still don't own.

"Well? Care to tell me what it was that Blaise said in order to convince you to barge in on me in my naked and sudsy glory?" I can't believe I just said that to him. I'm literally losing my mind. I shouldn't be this worked up over a boy, fully clothed nonetheless. Alas, Malfoy had finally managed to charm even myself into a blathering idiot in his presence. Two, however, can play that game. And I fight dirty.

He winced at my glare and mumbled something nondescript about an emergency he hadn't bothered to be given the details of. Something didn't feel right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I knew Draco was lying to me, but why? It was pretty obvious he hadn't expected to find me in here, but that excuse was just pathetic, especially for a Slytherin. I intended to get to the bottom of this, but for now I figured it would be more conducive to my investigation to let Draco think I had believed him. I assumed Blaise did have something to do with this, though. He was without a doubt the slipperiest snake of the bunch, and after that ill-timed attempt at flirtation I had been waiting for him to pull a stunt to embarrass me as I had embarrassed him.

"That's positively Slytherin of you, isn't it dear?" said the nagging voice in the back of my head. I told it to shut up, reminding it that I'm a Ravenclaw, and we're just like Slytherins, except much smarter and subtly better looking, despite all claims to the contrary. I shoved it into an even darker recess and valiantly ignored its disgruntled exclamations against such treatment.

"Well, I suppose that sounds like a valid reason to storm in here unannounced. Let's just put this incident behind us and never speak of it again, yes?" I watched his eyebrows lift in surprise briefly before he regained his composure, struggling to contain the mirthful grin straining at my lips. "Care to help me come up with a dastardly plan to get back at Zabini for putting us both in such an awkward position?" I couldn't help but laugh at the look of consummate shock he pulled this time.

Granger was going to be the death of me, of that I was sure. I just hadn't decided if it was to be an untimely and horrific death or one of overwhelming pleasure and delight. If I had to die, I sincerely hoped for the latter situation. She had agreed to meet up in the library that night to sketch out a plan against Blaise. Seeing as it was a Saturday, no one in their right minds, myself and Granger excluded, would be caught dead in the library, thus insuring our privacy. I was fairly certain she didn't know about the bet between Blaise and myself, but I wouldn't put it past her to figure it out sooner rather than later. I hoped to be fully on her good side by that point to at least avoid the risk of extermination. I had a few corrupt plans myself, but I had a hunch Hermione – no, GRANGER – would be adverse to using certain methods. Dark magic was obviously out. She may not be attached to the hip with the Bumbling Besties, Potter and Weasley, but they still influenced her far more than was necessary, in my completely uninterested, not invested, third-party opinion.

I glanced down the hall into the Slytherin common room and caught Blaise's eye. Must he look so smug? I'm sure he knew I had barged in on Granger and thoroughly embarrassed the both of us, and he assumed that meant he had a clear path to seducing her. Freaking git. He always forgets that Malfoys will ruthlessly defend their honor and pride, especially after a slap in the face like that. I decided it would be best to let him think I was taking this lying down, while secretly sucking up to Granger. That way, once Blaise thought he had won the bet, I would emerge triumphant, regal and sparkling. Maybe not sparkling, but definitely shiny.

I slapped my forehead. Of course! This was the perfect revenge plan. Granger would love it, tricking Zabini into thinking she was interested, then tossing him aside like yesterday's newspaper. I almost couldn't wait until that evening to tell her the news, and spent dinner in the Great Hall doing my very best not to glance over at the Ravenclaw table too many times or break out into a spontaneous jig.

I lazed about near the Restricted Section about an hour before curfew, waiting for Malfoy to show up. I hated to admit it, but I had been looking forward to the meeting all day. Slimy git that he was, he still managed to offer intelligent conversation for the most part. I just had to hope I could manage to do the same. My mind had started wandering back to that kiss from the night before, and for the life of me I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it. Probably both, knowing how emotionally inept I tend to be. Malfoy hadn't said anything about it since I'd shoved him to the floor, although I hadn't given him any good opportunities to bring the subject up. He wasn't like Ron, who would be stupid enough to breach the topic while at wand-point. Ugh, he was the last person I wanted to be thinking about right now, all slobber and freckles. Sweet on the inside, but a tad too reminiscent of a ginger German Shepherd. Most certainly not a fuckable specimen. Malfoy on the other hand... I shook my head and turned my attention to the lean form approaching me from across the library.

"Malfoy," I murmured once he was in ear-shot. He looked up and my stomach did floppy somersaults at his cheeky smirk. No, I absolutely refuse to degrade myself in this manner. I did not react to Draco because I'm attracted to him, nay I didn't even react to him, it's merely a case of gastric distress. That also happens to be affecting my mental capacities.

"Granger, I'm glad you didn't stand me up for our little rendezvous. I would have been so disappointed," he whispered, avoiding Madame Pince's scuttling gaze. I watched his lips move, as soft as one would expect a Malfoy's lips to look, except the little worried spot on the left. I remembered watching him bite that spot during our OWLs in fifth year and it had caught my attention each time we had an exam from then on out. It was endearing, I suppose. As close to endearing as Draco Malfoy could be, that is. Infuriatingly familiar was a better term. I tuned back in to listen to the end part of his speech.

"As you can see, once you've completely wrapped him around your finger, you'll toss him aside in front of the entire school. Not only will it make up for the humiliation the both of us suffered this morning, but I'm sure you have several friends who have suffered from Blaise's less than endearing sense of humor." He waited for me to respond, but I merely stared at him in confusion. This was all well and fine indeed, but how exactly was I to wrap Blaise around my finger? Malfoy sighed and rubbed his temple in the elegant way only a Slytherin could as I asked him exactly that.

"Granger," he began pleadingly. "Try and pay attention, will you? You're going to seduce Blaise. I explained this all in the beginning but I knew you weren't listening to me." He finished with a flourish of his hand and melodramatically rolled his eyes.

He gazed on in shock as I doubled over in hysterical laughter. His disgruntled muttering made me attempt at normal breathing, with loud hiccups as the result. After another five minutes alternating between hyper-ventilating and laughter-induced tears, I finally managed to explain my amusement.

"I couldn't possibly seduce Zabini. You've seen me in public before, right? Not to mention I doubt he'd even be interested after I man-handled him in the Great Hall. Besides, who am I to think I could seduce a Slytherin? That's your house's claim to fame, Malfoy."

"You forget that he's a male. Despite your less, mainstream fashion choices, you are still a female. In addition to being a female you are neither old, nor are you overly offensive to look at. You can be a bit of a harpy sometimes, but I think that's just a gender-wide malfunction."

I rolled my eyes at that last part. "So assuming that your plan works, how long do you intend to keep this charade up?"

His eyes lit up with a devious grin, "As long as it takes for Zabini to fall for you."

A/N

Well? Love it? Hate it? Let me know, I'm running off to type my fingers to the bone. :p