Im so sorry!!

I swear im such a horrible author for not updating sooner. I wont blab on b/c I know you guys wanna get straight to the fic. Thanks for sticking with me you guys!

Three weeks……..three damn long weeks.

Boris sighed; he was so pissed at Kai he couldn't see straight. If Kai was going to make a public declaration saying that he would come home, then he should have fucking done it. Kai had put everyone in the house on pins and needles, not to mention breaking the heart of a certain neko-jin…..again.

He was tired of this. He was tired of Kai being away, he was tired of the once vibrant Rei becoming dull and reclusive, he was tired of the confusing glances Yuriy had been giving him for the last couple of weeks, and he was damn sure tired of Max and Takao asking him if he was "alright". Because he wasn't alright, he was anything but normal. Kai

toying with everyones feelings like this pissed him off to no end. He wanted to see Rei smile again, like he had when Kai was still with them. He wanted to have nights with Yuriy like they had only three weeks ago.

He just…….wanted everything to be normal again.

Which was weird, considering things were far from what an average person would consider "normal" when Kai was around. Things were great before the said Hiwatari had left. Yuriy would actually joke with him, talk to him like a normal person, and more than anything…..give him glances he had never seen before. Boris missed that, even though Yuriy was sending him confusing glances now, they weren't like the previous ones they used to share. More like…pain and confusion hiding in those blue depths, and maybe even a hint of comfort. There were also the times when the two would stay up for countless hours, just talking and being in each others presence. And if talking wasn't enough, they just simply laid….in a single bed together, soaking each others presence up. Things used to be different with Kai and Rei too. Rei's smiles were what Boris used to wake up to every morning. He'd remember walking into the kitchen to see a tired Kai sipping on his coffee and reading a news paper, and to Rei happily scrubbing the morning dishes. That's when Rei would turn around and greet him with the warmest, most gentle smile Boris had ever seen. All Rei would say is, "Good morning…." and smile that smile of his and continue on with his work. He used to love those smiles….. Rei was such a caring person and it was nice to know that Boris had at least one friend to fall back on. With Kai……well, Boris didn't think Kai was capable of smiling until Rei came to live with them. With Rei around, Kai just seemed more relaxed. Boris would sometimes sit beside Yuriy on the couch and watch how the two would interact. It was their favorite day job… 'Kai and Rei watching' is what they used to call it. Kai would crack jokes, smile…and even play with Rei ((an: not that kind of play perverts D)). Kai would hug the neko-jin when he least expected it, pick on the raven-haired boy cutely, sit so close to Rei that Boris didn't even think there was air in between the two bodies, just to play with the younger boys hair. And most of all, Kai made Rei giggle, blush, and even smile. Which is a delight for everyone, Boris concluded. Yuriy and he once had a conversation based on Rei's smile. They had come to the conclusion that Rei was just a person so full of life, and to be able to witness a true smile from him, was a great delight.

But Rei's smiles were in the past, Kai was gone, and the long conversations he used to hold with Yuriy had become almost non existent.

It was a very sad thought. He liked how things used to be. But since Kai had left, he realized those days just seemed like a dream. Even if Kai were to come back, it would take months and years to mend the actual pain of him being away. Boris didn't think he would hurt this much just because of the Hiwatari's absence. It wasn't even the simple fact of Kai himself being gone, it was how it affected everyone else that made him hurt. Rei just wasn't the same. There were no laughs or smile from the boy, just sad smiles to replace the once lively ones. There were no more long conversations with Yuriy, just arguments and mumbles. Things were not how they were supposed to be, and Boris was scared they could never return that way.

He sighed, looking up when a flash of red caught his eyes. Yuriy was gazing down at him. "I can't find Rei…." He said lightly, almost in a sad whisper.

Boris sighed and got up, stretching his tired muscles somewhat. He looked at the worried red-head and rubbed his back, "When all else fails…..resort to Kai's ways." Boris knew exactly where Rei was, he wasn't an idiot. Kai had always told Rei that if he was lonely to just go to his room. So the two made their way down the hall way to Kai's little room. And sure enough, the door was slightly open.

Boris glanced at Yuriy as they stood outside the room, examining the wrinkles between the boys brows. He realized what the red-head was thinking about when he heard muffled sobs. Boris sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"You know…," Yuriy said silently, "….out of all the times Rei's had a breakdown, I've known exactly what to say to comfort him…..to make him a smile a little more. But this time…..im at a loss for words. I don't know what to do, and I don't know what to say. Sometimes hugs and jokes aren't enough to make the pain go away, and I don't know if I have the strength to just let him cry on my shoulder. I think…….it would cause my breakdown…."

"Then I would be the one to make you smile again," Boris suddenly mustered this courage out of no where, "Don't ever think you're alone in this Yuriy……im always here for you and ill always be here for you, even when you're at your lowest. If it comes to you having a breakdown……then ill just hold you and tell you everything's ok, even when it seems like its not. I think in this situation…….that's what we have to do, even if it kills us. Just holding Rei and comforting him will be enough to remind him that…..even if Kai's gone, were still his family, and well protect him to the best of our abilities. Just like I'd do for you…." His gaze slowly drifted to the floor, loosing himself in deep thought.

Yuriy looked at him shocked…….had those words really come out of Boris' mouth? He too looked to the floor, as if contemplating his next move. He was just confused; it was clouding his thoughts too much. Boris was crowding his thoughts too much. So….he just…did what his body told him to do……he just cried. Slowly grabbing the taller boys hand in his own, for the first time since Kai had left, Yuriy cried.

Boris looked at their entwined fingers, and slowly turned the sniffling red-head around. He looked into those glazed over cerulean eyes, and sighed sadly. Wrapping his arms tightly around the smaller body, he held the other close, like he had promised. Yuriy buried his face into the elders shirt and sobbed. For once in his life, he just let it go. He never let it go around Rei, or even after they were freed from the abbey. Yuriy just…..didn't cry, he wasn't that type of person. But he was confused……..he was confused about Kai and why he hadn't shown up, he didn't even know what to say to Rei or how to comfort him for that matter, and he didn't know why he absolutely loved the infinite warmth that Boris was giving off. He was tired of not knowing anything.

(Inside the room…)

Rei sniffled as he shifted in Kai's bed. He was so sick of crying. Kai said he was coming back, he didn't say when. Rei just automatically assumed that night he would show up at the door. But he knew he was silly for thinking that…. since when had Kai been clear on what he was going to do?

Snuggling into the warmth of the blanket, Rei blinked his tired red eyes. His attention was caught when he heard slight mumbling coming from out side the door. He smiled slightly…Boris and Yuriy always knew where to find him.

Deciding that sitting there and brooding over Kai was getting him no where (and not bringing Kai home), he stood up to confront his two friends. Slowly opening the door, he was saddened by what he saw…..Yuriy sobbing and enveloped in Boris' embrace. Although it was a cute site, Rei's eyes watered when he realized Kai's actions were not only affecting him. Slowly he walked up behind Yuriy and hugged him from behind. The red-head jumped and looked up at Boris, who was watching Rei.

Rei sighed, "Im sorry you two…….I'm sorry for putting you through this with me. I shouldn't have dragged you into this, but I feel like I made you baby sit me this entire time, when I had completely forgotten about how the situation had affected you. It hurts me to see you in this much pain too…" He rubbed his head against Yuriy's back, "I should have been there for you like you were there for me. I was so caught up in being depressed about Kai…..it's like I overshadowed your feelings. Im so sorry guys…" That's when the kitten started crying for the millionth time that night.

Yuriy, still crying, turned around in Boris embrace, and wrapped his arms around the trembling kitten. Boris sighed and grabbed them both into a hug, "Stop being silly Rei….were a family, it's what we're supposed to do. We never asked you how you felt about Kai leaving, and we kept our thoughts to ourselves. We all just need to learn how to talk to one another, I suppose."

Yuriy smiled at that, "Y-yeah……were all just stubborn guys." Rei smiled and looked up at them, "Thanks guys….."

(Later that afternoon…)

Max stretched and rubbed his tired eyes. Napping after such a big ordeal was a good thing for him. He rolled over to look at his lover, who was easily snoring. Rolling his eyes, Max rolled out of bed and walked down stairs.

Happily enough, Yuriy and Boris were sitting on the couch watching TV, while Rei was doing the dishes. After the talk the three of them had, Max knew they were more relaxed. It was like walking into fresh air…….there was no tension in the room, and no one was crying. He knew it had been a while since the three had just talked, so he and Takao helped the three into Kai's room…..and they just talked. About good times and old days, and about future plans if Kai wasn't really going to return. Figuring that everyone was cried out, he smiled. It had been a long time since there had been peace in this house.

"Oh man……hmm……hey you guys I need to run to the store, does anyone want to go with me?" Rei randomly called from the kitchen. Yuriy poked his head up, "Yah ill go." Boris stood up and adjusted himself, "I guess ill tag along too"

Max smiled, "Go on Rei, ill finish the dishes and man the fort while you're out." Rei laughed at this, "Just make sure Takao doesn't tear up our house too much ok?" Max smiled and watched from the front door as the three disappeared from sight.

(At the store..)

Rei hummed happily to himself as he walked back outside of the busy supermarket. He was met by the two Russians who smiled.

"Did you get everything you need?" Boris asked.

"Yep, I got the chicken broth and a candy bar for Yuu-nii, I thought you'd like one, "Rei said, handing the chocolate to Yuriy. Yuriy smiled and mumbled a 'thanks' before ripping open the wrapping and stuffing his face. Boris coughed to hide his laugh and Rei just smiled.

Making their way down the street, Rei let himself drag behind a little, listening to the conversation Boris and Yuriy were having. It had been so long since the two had actually joked around, he wanted to soak up the moment. Rei loved his friends dearly, especially for putting up with him for the last couple of years. Rei knew he had changed when Kai disappeared, and it killed him to think that Boris and Yuriy were affected the same way. Suddenly, Boris grabbed Yuriy's hand, who in turn blushed gently and kept blabbing about nonsense. Rei smiled at their entwined hands and thought, 'It's about damn time Boris…'

Rei blinked...

For some odd reason, he stopped dead in his tracks. He could have sworn he felt another presence there, but he shrugged it off.

Then why wouldn't his feet move…..why was his heart pounding in his chest?

Slowly he turned around………and dropped the grocery bag to the floor.

"Isn't that right Rei-Rei? …….Rei?" Yuriy released Boris' hand and turned around, cerulean eyes widening. Boris mimicked this action.

Rei just stared at the figure in front of him; he could feel his eyes beginning to glaze over as he stared into familiar crimson eyes.

"K-Kai……?"

It was as if he whispered the name. But it was Kai wasn't it? His mind wasn't playing tricks on him again….was it?

Familiar two-toned hair…..blue triangles……crimson eyes…..

That was Kai Hiwatari alright. Standing there in a thin white collard shirt, hands stuffed in his pocket……was Kai Hiwatari.

Rei's breathing sped up, as he know he was freely crying now. What was he supposed to do now? Run to the Russian and fling his arms around him? Confess his undying love for him? As much as Rei wanted to touch the Russian right now...he didnt know if it would scare Kai away again...

…..Rei didn't know……he froze.

Biting his bottom lip to stop himself from sobbing, he played with his fingers nervously. Rei was beyond happy to see Kai, but ………he had no clue what to do.

"W-welcome ……h-home….." he cried sadly, still not able to look up into Kai's eyes again, "I…….I was j-just at the store t-to……to…." Rei couldn't help it that he was crying this hard. He looked at the ground, ashamed that Kai had to see him like this.

"I'm…s-sorry I j-just….don't know….," his hand covered his mouth as he sobbed.

Kai looked at him, his gaze softening. He knew he had done this…..

Suddenly he didn't care anymore…….all of the worry about seeing Rei again…..beautiful Rei……..his beautiful Rei….

It didn't matter anymore…..he just wanted to touch the raven-haired boy again….the touch he had been aching for...

He swallowed his pride, and those wide steps led him closer to the sobbing boy. When he reached his destination in front, he stood in front of Rei looking down at the sobbing neko-jin.

He didn't care……he didn't care what Boris and Yuriy would think……even though he knew they were watching...

He reached up and took the hand that was covering Rei's mouth in his own, his body trembling uncontrollably. He gulped as his shaking coarse fingers ran across the delicate skin of Rei's hands…..he could feel the kittens shakes and sobs….

He didn't care if Rei didn't love him back……

He just needed to feel him…..

Kai pulled Rei into his chest, wrapping his arms around the delicate and shaking form. He buried his nose into the dark tresses of Rei's long hair and inhaled…taking in for the first time in ages…….Reis beautiful scent. He looked beautiful, Kai resolved…..but he didn't want to think right now…..he just wanted to feel the one person he was denied of this entire time.

And as Rei's knees caved in, he caught the shaking boy in his strong grasp…feeling Rei's ragged, shaky breath on his neck.

Feeling as if he could no longer stand….Kai gently sat on the ground, taking Rei into his lap and holding him tightly, never wanting to let go.

Kai smiled as a tear leaked out of his eye………he could feel his Rei again.

WOW, that was incredibly hard for me to write. Once again, sorry it took so long to update, but thank you for being patient my wonderful readers!

This is such a depressing chapter; after I went through and read it again I realized that. I also realized for some reason….Rei's always doing the dishes….oh well XD

Sorry this is so……not great. I hope it met your expectations

Next chapter: kai explains his disappearance!!!!!!!!

Ill update as soon as I can!!

jchan