Over the next couple weeks Sonny laid off his going out some as things had been busier for the team. He was still bothered that Ray wasn't back with Bravo and felt they weren't firing on all cylinders. He was happy that he and Davis had gotten back into their routine of hanging out a couple times a week. They may be just friends but she helped ground him and keep him in check. Truth be told, he liked being kept in check.

There was something changing in Sonny that made him want more. You've only got one life and he sometimes wondered what his was about. He'd never tell anyone but he admired the way that Jason and Ray had a family and managed to be a SEAL. It would be nice to have someone to come home to and maybe even a kid or two. Loyalty and family were very important things to Sonny Quinn. It may take a while to break through the hard outer shell but once you did, you could guarantee he'd never leave you out cold and would be the first one by your side to fight.

-Alana's death-

When Blackburn walked into the bar they immediately knew something was wrong. "It's Jason." Blackburn said "actually Alana". Sonny's head started to spin. What are the kids going to do? What's Jason going to do? They need to be protected, but how? Sonny had dealt with war and death but this was different. He always liked Alana. She and Jason were high school sweethearts who managed to keep their flame going just as strong as it must've started. She was feisty and didn't take any crap which was something he admired most. She even scared off a 'girlfriend' of his once. Mind you, this girl was a little crazy and Sonny knew better but of course had to go there anyway. Alana told her there were expectations and rules in this family and if she wasn't prepared to step up she needed to cut him loose. Because the girl was kind of crazy she insinuated she was up for that challenge. Alana then called her over the next couple week several times to let her know the guys needed snacks taken in and to organize meals for families with a deployed parent, which she wasn't actually needed for but Alana was determined to weed her out. When "crazy girl" as she was referred to by those close to Sonny complained to him about Alana, he took offense to the complaint and that was the end of that relationship. There weren't many people other than Alana herself and Sonny that knew why he and the girl broke up. Alana was like a sister. A bossy one at times, but still a sister.

Now, Bravo had to step up and help Jason. He and Davis had to help pick out a casket. It was not something he was looking forward to but at least his right hand woman was there with him. Sitting in the bar talking it over Davis said that she just wanted her life to mean something when she goes.

"That's a done deal Davis" Sonny said matter of factly. "It already does" he looks around and continues, "to all the people here, to the team, to me" she smiles sweetly "Thank you Sonny, that's nice to hear" she replies. He feels the need to quickly recover from the admission that she means a lot to him, taking a sip of his beer he holds his hands up "now pump your breaks, don't get too touched. I've had too many feels today." She rolls her eyes "ok". He gets up "I need another drink." As he walks away he takes a deep breath. "Get it together cowboy" he thinks to himself. Sonny Quinn does not do emotional… or so he likes to tell himself. Truth is, Sonny Quinn is good at hiding those touchy-feely emotions but he does at times feel them- like right now walking up to the bar wishing he could tell Davis he isn't sure who he'd be without her around or that he really missed her the past few months when they didn't hanging out as often. That when she smiles, he melts. "Two beers" he ask the bartender as he pushes away those feelings again.

[Lisa's POV]

"There is something seriously wrong with this man." She thinks to herself as Sonny explains his ideal funeral. Then the statement comes out of her mouth as a reflex. It doesn't phase him though. He just ask what hers would be. "I just..I want my life to have mattered." She replies.

"That's a done deal Davis" Sonny said matter of factly. "It already does" he looks around and continues, "to all the people here, to the team, to me." She is surprised at the specific admission that she means something to him. Not really surprised at the fact but that he said it out loud. She knew that if she ever needed someone Sonny would be there in a heartbeat- no questions asked. "Thank you Sonny, that's nice to hear" she replies. He holds his hands up "now pump your breaks, don't get too touched. I've had too many feels today." Classic Sonny. She'd swear there was an alarm that started going off in his head when he got sentimental as if someone had broken into a house and it was vulnerable. "Ok" she replied rolling her eyes. He quickly excused himself to get another beer.

Blackburn walks into the bar and comes over, "hows it going?" he asked. "Oh, good sir, all things considered" she says as she sits up in her chair. "Hey, can we get you something? Sonnys up at the bar."

"No thanks, I'm good" he replies. "Listen, I didn't want to tell you at the house but, you got your commission Lisa. You. Are going to Officer Candidate School." Lisa feels like she wants to scream in excitement and Blackburn can tell she's thrilled. "I did it? I got in?!" she replies. "Less than 1% of enlisted achieve commission, you should be proud" he tells her proudly. She flashes a huge grin, after all this is something she's worked incredibly hard for. She looks around for a second and sees Sonny standing at the bar and it hits her like a rock. Suddenly her expression changes dramatically. Blackburn looks at her "you alright?" She leans her hand against her fist "Yeah, um yeah. That is great news thank you." She smiles widely. "Hey, do you think we could just keep this between us for right now?" she ask him as she feels the weights of the OCS decision. Blackburn replies "sure, no problem" as he glances over towards the bar. "If you insist, officer" he says as he takes Sonnys beer to raise to her. She flashes a huge smile, happy she has been able to meet this goal. Blackburn understands that this isn't the ideal time that she probably wants to share the information with the guys. After all, during the best of circumstances they let their feelings about "cake eaters" be known freely. This was initially going to hurt, although he was confident they would come around and support her fully.

Davis couldn't remember the last time she was so excited yet sick at the same time. She had done it. She accomplished what less than 1% of enlisted accomplish. She worked hard for it and felt she deserved it. That being said, this team was her family. They didn't like cake eaters. Especially that one standing at the bar. The one she told that OCS wasn't for her. The one that looks like a tough warrior on the outside, but inside was just a teddy bear. She was worried, not just that he'd be mad but she knew how Sonny dealt with emotion- essentially drowning it in alcohol. He was finally on a better path recently and this- on top of Alana's death….she just couldn't. When the time was right she would, but not now. For now, her accomplishment had to stay secret.

A week later while on a mission in Mumbai, the team lost Adam. He was there in replacement of Jason while he took some time off. They sat around the briefing table and most everything was a fuzz as Blackburn tells them "we're wheels up in 4 hours. Hit the showers and anything else that needs doing. Thank you for being the absolute best- even on the worst day." Sonny sat there and held his fist in hand. Another loss. Another hard hit. And nothing he could do about it.

Sonny stands in the shower, water hiding tears, drinking a bear as his frustration grows deeper the more he analyzes the situation. They lost a team member because of a terrorist. It could have been Jason. Jason and Alana's kids just lost their mom they didn't need to lose their dad too. Then there's Adam. He was a good guy, he didn't deserve this either nor did his family. It wasn't fair and Sonny couldn't even make the guy who did it pay. He crushes the beer can and throws it across the shower before taking his frustrations out on the wall, yelling as he hammers it. He needs someone to blame.

Lisa watches Sonny as he's frustrated and goes through a bag. "Can I help you find something?" she ask. Normally she would have chastised him for going through bags but now just wasn't the time. They guys liked to go through things, move it all around and leave the mess for her to fix. It wasn't on purpose or directed to make her job harder it was just not something they considered so she kept them in line and they didn't mind that.

"A priest" he replies annoyed. "Why's that?" she calmly ask. "Well we're losing people left and right. It's a curse. No other way about it." He tells her. Lisa looks down unsure of how to console him. Kairos comes around "There's no such thing as a curse" he tells Sonny. "Says the curse himself" Sonny shoots back. "You know since you've been here- Jason's gone home, Clay's been shot, and Adams in a box." He says pointing down at the end of the plane. Lisa looks down knowing better than to agree with Kairos. "Would you feel better if you took a swing at me?" Kairos asked. "No hippie, I'm a peacekeeper. I've got my own way of coping" Sonny replies holding up a bottle of Makers.

Lisa steps back and takes a seat. She hates to see the guys hurt like this. Especially Sonny. For being a 'lone wolf', having a pack was very important to him. She was afraid of the tailspin he might have. There would be no time soon that would be appropriate for her to mention OCS to her best friend. She could imagine how much he'd hate her and see it as total abandonment. She leaned her head back and tried to close her eyes and escape for a few minutes.