Chapter Note: The new section is a somewhat mature theme but because it's not violent or sexual, I figured it can keep its "T" rating for now. I hope that's a wise choice.
-

Tasha floated in time and space. No different than being suspended in calm water in darkness, it was as though everything passed through her, around her, and was a part of her, all at once.

A flash of white hot light blinded her...eyes? Did she have eyes? Where there was nothing, now there was pain of… nerve cells firing? Did she even have a body anymore?

Yes, that's what they were. It had been so long since she'd felt anything and now electricity crackled and fired nerves from her consciousness outward. Along the way, her body drew in a labored breath that reminded her of when she'd once inhaled too much grit during a sandstorm.

From that breath, a thumping began. Steadily, evenly, it shattered the peaceful silence of her gentle, dark universe and electricity raced throughout the rest of her body. Her heart was beating. How long had it been since she'd heard that sound?

The void was replaced by heated sand against her back. She tried to move but couldn't will her muscles to obey.

She was no longer a part of eternity but now felt the limits of her body. "I'm tired," she thought to herself in wonder. "I haven't been tired in so long."

There was one thing she could control, through. Her eyelids, with some effort, opened slowly. Above her, what should have been softly twinkling lights against the inky sky were like billions of flashlights shining in her face at once. Unable to take the bright lights, she shut her eyes tightly.

It was nighttime somewhere, wherever she was. But the most important thing to her was that she was somewhere.

Where was she? Who was she? Her memories were disjointed patches of imagery that she couldn't make any sense of enough to remember who she was or where she was. She half-remembered standing in a desert among familiar faces and arguing with a strange creature called... Armus.

Her nose wrinkled at the thought of the creature. She didn't have to remember him fully to know he was a hostile being.

Tired, she felt her muscles for the first time in who knows how long, sore and aching from lack of use, until her weary mind pulled her into a deep sleep.

Tasha's eyes fluttered open when the sun rose over a vast desert. The extremely bright light of day hurt her eyes even through her closed eyelids. But she could see, and this time she could move.

Her eyes squinted and watered with the burn of light far too bright for her eyes to handle. In her abdomen, she felt the muscles tense as she pulled herself upright.

There was nothing but sand and wasteland around her except for a wreckage of a shuttle nearby. A flash of an image came to her mind of a dark haired woman smiling and Tasha knew this was a friend but couldn't remember a name or anything else about her.

"You are fully conscious," a voice spoke from behind her and she turned to see the tar-like creature that she'd half remembered.

Seeing the mass with her eyes jarred more from her memory. Her death. Blasted by the creature for his amusement, Tasha remembered the momentary pain and then nothing.

"You... killed me!" she pushed her body away from him in a crouch and muscle memory urged her hand to her hip that felt nothing but skin. In fact, she was completely nude, exposed to the harsh elements of this world.

"Why am I naked?" she rose to her feet, but balance was something that took more effort than she remembered. How, at that moment, she envied toddlers as she dropped back to the ground.

In frustration, Tasha's hands clawed at the sand around her. "What am I doing here… and with you?"

"You… Killed… ME!" she shouted, but her voice seemed so small in the vast desert.

The creature sat in front of her motionless and Tasha wondered for a moment if her returning memories were not so reliable. Was the pile of goo an actual living creature?

"Yes," he finally responded and almost caused Tasha to jump. "I killed you."

Armus spoke with his heavy breaths and spread himself closer to her, his thick substance inching toward her fingertips on the sand.

"And now I have brought your back to life," he continued.

-x-

Armus could manipulate matter. Even the sand around them he could transform into whatever it was Tasha required.

In a night, he created an oasis for her survival, complete with fully ripened fruit trees and a pool of pristine, drinkable water. It had been two and a half days before the needs of Tasha's body overrode her wish to die again and she found herself slumped at the water's edge.

He laughed at her that night and taunted her with a promise that he would only resurrect her again and again if she died.

The next morning, Tasha worked on the communications systems within the wreckage of a shuttle pod and again, he laughed.

"Your people have established a beacon in orbit. It hampers any signal from the planet while sending out a warning for anyone just outside of the solar system of danger… me."

At the same time the creature's voice sounded amused and bitter while he laughed as Tasha continued to work with panels and the wires hiding behind them. She knew it was useless to continue. In her heart she knew he was telling the truth. What little she could remember of her life before waking up on the barren planet confirmed everything he said.

Her ship's captain would definitely do such a thing but where did that leave her? On a desert planet with her murderer and forced to depend on him for her very survival.

Tasha threw the calibration tool back into the shuttle's toolbox and uttered a choice Klingon word she'd picked up from Lt. Worf. Nothing changed in her life since her childhood. Her happy life aboard the Enterprise was a brief dream in between two hellish nightmares.

Always dependent on ghoulish creatures for her survival was her lot in life and Tasha felt that sinking feeling of resignation settle in again.

Unfortunately, as she regained her memories of her life, her childhood on Turkana IV was one of the first full memories to resurface and she wished she could've remained blissfully ignorant of her past.

Scrounging on the dregs of a war-torn civilization, avoiding the marauding gangs of rapists and pillagers only to eventually join their ranks in order to keep her and her sister alive was what she thought was her lowest point in life.

Seems she was wrong. It had gotten lower. Much lower.

Armus reveled in taunting her. The height of his amusement came when she couldn't take anymore of her predicament, curled up in the corner of the shuttle, and cried herself to sleep.

After that, Tasha lost all hope. For nights at a time she sat in the sand and stared at the sky, wondering where her ship and shipmates were. During the day she would literally fall asleep onto the sandy ground only to start her nights the same way.

Quietly, in her mind she would imagine the lives of her friends exploring and living as she no longer could. Armus was no longer entertained.

"Aren't you going to cry again? Your shipmates will never come for you."

Tasha ignored him and continued to dream. Lives among the stars she studied were filled with adventure and love and all of the things she would never experience again. But her life on Turkana IV prepared her for this disappointment.

Even while serving on the starship she knew her good life as a Federation officer couldn't last.

The days passed by in sleep and her nights were spent sitting in the middle of her oasis, watching the stars and dreaming. The only time she moved from her spot was to drink water or relieve herself.

It had been days since Armus taunted her. In fact, he no longer spoke to her which was a blessing as there were no more distractions from what had become visions.

More days passed and Tasha grew weaker. When she woke, she no longer sat up at night to watch the stars but watched them in the position where she'd awakened.

"It is foolish to starve yourself," Armus finally said to her after days she'd lost count of. She did know it was long passed the time any human would die of dehydration or even starvation but somehow she was alive. Obviously whatever ability allowed him to bring her back to life also allowed him to keep her alive.

It didn't matter. She would spend eternity dreaming of her friends and the life she could only imagine but never fully have. A life beyond the oasis and the desert world shared only with her killer.

He could keep her in the realm of the living or allow her to die, it didn't matter. Tasha had nothing to live for.

Tasha no longer opened her eyes. For what seemed like weeks, Tasha spent her days and nights sleeping, enveloped in strange dreams. They were twisted hybrids of memories and wishes and fears.

There was one where she dreamt of her childhood on Turkana IV but instead of the war-torn civilization, it was peaceful and nurturing complete with her family in tact, a home, and plentiful food.

Another was of her as Chief of Security but she was married aboard Enterprise with children of her own. They lived in one of the spacious family quarters as she'd seen others assigned to and watched her beautiful daughters playing at a small, child-sized table covered with toys and drawing paper.

Her husband was about to enter their quarters, she could sense it, when she heard Armus's voice intrude.

"Wake human," he demanded and no matter how fiercely she clung to the dream, she couldn't hold on to it enough. Her mind slipped back into consciousness and her unwanted reality.

For a long moment she didn't answer the creature, half hoping he would think she still slept and leave her alone.

"I know you are awake, human. I have a surprise for you," his voice rasped and hissed near her and Tasha knew he wouldn't allow her peace to slip into those strange, yet satisfying dreams if she didn't appease him by answering.

"What is it you evil, murdering…" even though she croaked the words in her throat that was sore from lack of use, the insults poured out of her mouth with little effort.

"Is that any way to speak to someone that has given you a gift?" he answered merrily. Tasha's empty stomach tightened. Whatever amused him would not benefit her one bit.

-x-

Her fingers contracted to grab the grass around her as the green carpet of foliage cushioned her knees. This was it. This was the moment she dreaded since the day Armus explained to her what her "gift" was.

She remembered cursing him, demanding that he take it back. And when she realized that he wouldn't, she begged. And not just a simple plea. Natasha Yar did what she'd sworn she would never do again since her childhood and fell to her knees with hands clasped as though for prayer to beg her tormentor to stop what he'd done.

But he wouldn't. In fact, he let it slip that he couldn't for some reason. And so Tasha waited out the days, the weeks, and the months until this very moment.

Tasha felt the contractions like a wave through her center as her muscles pushed and pulled in many directions to bring her baby to this barren world. For support, she held a nearby tree upright on her knees and struggled through the pain, trying desperately to work with her body instead of against it.

As she felt the searing pain of what must have been the head of her infant, the images of long forgotten dreams of a family aboard the Enterprise mocked her. This was nothing close to anything she'd ever wanted. This was unfair, to her and the baby.

Instinct and nature took over completely as she continued to strain against the work her body demanded of her and finally whooshing release that caused all of her pain to disappear in an instant.

And there, just as the sun barely touched the sandy horizon, her baby had been cushioned by the lushest, softest grass she'd ever seen. Weak and dazed, she held her baby girl in her arms and marveled at the blond hair much like her own. She'd figured her theory that Armus had merely cloned her was correct. But as the seconds passed, she noticed her baby didn't make a sound. She didn't even move.

Also, her coloring was pale and Tasha frantically checked her mouth for any obstruction, but there wasn't any. She rubbed her tiny hands and feet hoping to help with circulation, only partially aware of her own body continuing with it's last chores of the birthing process, but it had no effect.

And just as she gently rested her daughter's body on the grass where she'd been born, Tasha felt contractions again. This time there was no build up, the contractions were quick and furious as they demanded she push.

What more was in store for her?

Holding the same tree and away from her stillborn child, Tasha strained and pushed and worked. Just as the last bit of the sun had set below the horizon and the sky had turned a deep purple, she felt the release of her second baby.

On a very thick patch of grass below her, an area Tasha could have sworn was nothing more than a bare patch of dirt and roots, Tasha examined her second newborn.

This time, her second baby with strange, dark brown tufts of hair, squirmed below her and her strong little lungs powered an ear-drum shattering wail that caused Tasha to smile. But her heart wasn't fully in it, even as she picked up the unhappy newborn and tried to comfort her, she thought of the one that didn't make it.

Her eyes focused on the tiny lifeless body around the tree and noticed a twitch. Not sure of what she actually saw, Tasha moved closer and noticed her first daughter's arm move until finally she began to wail as loudly as her sister.

Tears streamed down Tasha's face, there was just no stopping them. Both were alive and they seemed healthy. Exhausted, Tasha carefully washed herself and the babies in the water she'd collected from the pond and rested them close to one another in the grass. There wasn't anything more she could think of that she had to do before morning, curled her body by their heads and fell asleep.

-x-

It had been several days since she repaired the communications systems of the derelict shuttle. Tasha curled against the withered tree and dug her toes into the dried grass and rocky dirt.

Her daughters curled beside her, only about year old now, and slept as they'd done the last few days of having watched their oasis deteriorate before their eyes… since Armus died.

She remembered the night Armus had come to her and explained her limited options. It shocked her to hear that the creature was dying. Her murderer, her tormentor that she imagined would live forever and surely out-live her, was dying.

But the reason for his demise was more startling. It seemed he'd given her daughters far more of his lifeforce that he'd given her. The cost was limiting his own life and Tasha wondered what was the catch. With Armus, there was always a catch for a seemingly selfless act.

But whatever it was, the secret died with him.

He did make it very clear that she only had about five years of life left without him. That was the Armus she knew and didn't love. But both girls would have long lifespans within the norm of humans and she was grateful for that.

That is, until he reminded her that the oasis would shrivel without him as well. Their source of clean drinking water and food would disappear with him. And it did.

Tasha looked around and saw nothing but the remnants of what was lush and green and abundant for their survival. Their only chance was to repair the communications system of the abandoned shuttle. At least that was her part in the hope for salvation.

For his part, Armus offered what little life left in him to try and disable the warning beacon, but there were no guarantees.

And since that evening Armus died, Tasha felt the clock ticking against their lives as each day passed.

The pond had become nothing more than a mud puddle and perhaps unsafe to drink, and the vegetation withered and dried more every day. Tasha only needed enough to keep her body alive, only enough so that her body could produce milk to keep her daughters alive.

But Tasha wasn't sure how much longer she could continue. Her lips were cracked and blistered and her insides cramped from lack of water. The milk she produced wasn't enough to fill the bellies of both of her girls and for the last few days they cried themselves to sleep, hungry.

She reached her hand into the pond, trying desperately to gather enough water for at least a mouthful, she heard a boom from the sky that dulled into a low whine. Although it was obvious what it was, she'd given up belief that it would come.

But it did. A ship lowered down to the surface and blew dust in all directions. Tasha shielded her daughters from the grit and when the dust settled, she saw men look around, found her and turned away quickly.

She'd forgotten that she was naked; it had been years since she needed any level of modesty.

"Help us," she called to them, too weak to go to them, then noticed a few return to their ship, "please!"

One of the men returned from the inside of the ship with a blanket and approached her. He placed it around her and her daughters and smiled warmly.

A face she'd seen, to her memory only little more than a year ago, she recognized the man immediately, "You're Hagon!"

He nodded and patted his chest gently. "Hagon." He then pointed his hand in her direction and said her name, barely recognizable in his heavily accented voice, "Yar."

The lack of a Universal Translator was inconvenient at the moment, but it didn't seem to matter. The Ligonian seemed to understand she needed his help all the same.

Hagon motioned to an armed man standing by the entrance of their ship and said something in their language. The man returned his weapon to his holster and headed toward them.

His bent arms motioned in the direction of her daughters and Tasha wondered if he were offering to carry them. Since their conception, she'd never had her girls out of her sight and didn't feel comfortable with the idea of it now.

But she remembered Hagon, and she remembered that he was a good man. Finally she willed herself to nod her consent.

As Hagon plucked her daughters from the brown, brittle grass, the other man scooped Tasha with seemingly little effort and both men headed for their ship with those they carried.

It was halfway to the ship when they passed by a circular patch of stone against the sand. Armus. He'd taken her life, but in the end, he'd given her a chance at another one. They were square in her eyes.