fandom: The Walking Dead

characters: Kelsey. Merle. Daryl. Randall.

genres: Humour. Romance.


Kelsey hated the South. She hated the way the sun burned her pale skin, she hated the bugs that were forever buzzing my her ears and nipping her [mosquitoes and nats- except here, apparently, it had a random 'g' in front of it. Nats were equal to gnats. What sense was this?]. She hated how people spoke with some God awful twang in their voice, calling her 'suga' and 'doll' and speaking to her with completely incorrect grammar.

Y'all and ain't are not found in the Websters Dictionary. Refrain from using them to a half German grammar Nazi.

She despised the Americana she saw here, the lack of concern for any type of environmental problems and if she saw one more Romney sign-she would explode.

She was that speck of blue in the Crimson Tide.

Long story short- Kelsey hated being in the South. Or more specifically, Georgia.

Georgia was now officially the bane of her existence.

Hot-humid-sexist and the crown of the southern states, Kelsey woke up not three mornings ago to find herself being shipped off to the state in order to raise a petition for the fair treatment of animals in society. She hadn't minded at the time; no, no no, never, Kelsey was good with people-bright, bubbly and completely caring, most people adored her presence.

She hadn't anticipated what would happen here.

People were rude, obnoxious and it made her want to bash their heads into the cement-except she couldn't do that because she was a pacifist and pacifists don't-do-that-shit-to-other-because-they're-angry. Rude people and the fact that she'd been sent to cover the most backwooded, backwards area in the entire country did not help her opinion of the state.

She was so out of her element here.

Kelsey glanced back at the road, blinking as she saw a lone house sit in the middle of the woods. She looked from the house to the roads to the woods, from the woods to the roads to the house, lookstarestopstare. These people-the paper in her hand read Dixons- could not live out here. Nope.

Where were the people? The other houses? She didn't see any phone wires- this this mean there was no form of wifi either?

Shiva. Kill her now.

Her tumblr was going to be so barren.

Her green eyes roved the country-wood-side, looking around for the residents of the hell hole [she wasn't going to call this thing a house, because all honesty aside, who lives in a place where you can't use the interwebs?] Minutes passed and she was promptly chewing on her lip, her hands twisting the fabric of her soft pink peasant shirt.

She'd just began to approach the door from her perch on the small porch when a sound of rustling and snorting drifted into her ears and she turned to the forest, taking a small step back. If it was some animal-she'd need the running start.

Figures emerged from the bushes and oh sweet lord, it was an animal alright. A row of little rabbits came out of the woods, complete with gore smeared on their fur and their legs taped to a rod or a stick or who gives a damn what it was, someone killed a RABBIT for christ's sake! A doe followed along onto the rabbits and Kelsey, feeling the scent of blood, sweat and animal tears hit her nose and tongue,swooned a bit holding onto porch beam as two men stared at her.

She stared back; both men, though they had different hair types, had the same disgruntled expression on their face, their noses wrinkled in some form of disgust as their harsh eyes grazed over her small body. They were obviously brothers, the brunette on the left side-the side straddling the doe- was obviously the elder, but the other couldn't have been much younger.

"The fuck you lookin' at?" The blond snarled out and Kelsey's skin crawled with contempt at his accent. Oh, it was filthyfilthyfilthy and she just wanted to spray Febreeze all over his vocal cords. The woman didn't respond to him, her nose wrinkling in disdain. She saw mud on their shoes- nope- and dirt on their hands- nope- and was that blood all over their hands too?

It was a sickening sight.

"I said-what the fuck are you lookin' at?" He intoned his words again, trying to articulate each words, though it was hard through all that contempt and vile accent.

"You killed a doe."

Her voice, emblazoned with the mixture of a city girl, D.C. to be precise, along with a European tone, drifted out and she shook her head, looking at the two glaring men. "You don't just go and kill a doe."

"Yeah? And why the fuck not bitch?"

"That could've been your mother." Kelsey said, being slightly irate with the two, gently lifting her Prada shades off her eyes, smirking slightly as she watched their auras bubble over the surface. "You never know."

A hand quickly shot out and grabbed the young woman by the collar and before she could blink, the blond had pinned her up to a tree, his brother not too far behind him and his snarls were warm in her ears.

"Want to repeat that little bitch?"

"Sure. I said. It might've been your mum." Kelsey said, giving him a smile, "Reincarnation?"

A grunt came from him before he pressed the gypsy-girl into the tree harder. Her legs were able to swing from beneath her - he had to be at least a foot taller than she was- but somehow a sickly sweet smile graced her lips. "If you'd like, I could find some internet and we could look it up together."

His blue eyes- oh, even more so traditional southern boy blue- narrowed into near slits and as he pressed Kelsey into the tree her favorite shades slipped off her face and landed onto the ground, only to meet their demise at the heel of his boots. The two hundred dollar Prada shades...?

Kelsey's eyes glared up hatefully into his, her hate growing as he got a smirk on his face, "You'll get broken next little girl. Get out of here."

Broken? Her?

"Oh really?" She said, a foot sliding up to push him away from her body and as his hand slipped off her neck, Kelsey managed to slink up his back before sinking her teeth in his neck, clutching onto it despite his angered her by the hair. The blonde clutched at his neck, pointing a finger at the smirking as he began searching for something. A loud yell began to form on his lips, but before he could the door to the front swung open and it the doorway stood a much older man-hardened and brutally stomping over to grab the blond by his shirt collar, sizing her and the brunette up as well.

"The hell are you doing out here little brother? What the hell does the bitch want?" He snarled, attempting to choke the man. His younger brother responded clearly and speaking with almost as much contempt his voice as he had had when he'd spoken to Kelsey.

"Some rich city bitch was out here trying to tell me and Daryl about some shit of reincarnation and all that hippie crap." He nodded his head in mine and Daryl's direction, "She's right the fuck there Merle; ask her what the fuck she wants."

Merle turned his eyes over to me and again, Kelsey was immediately disgusted. Dirty, Dirty Dirty accents and a vain living style. She could see all that clearly in their auras.

"He left out the part where I bit him." She chimed in helpfully, smiling at all three of the men, grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat as she looked at the blonde, "I bit him real good. Though he tasted like blegh."

A cloud of dust was the next thing she saw, gagging before she found herself looking up at Merle,who'd crouched down beside her. Kelsey wrinkled her nose;he reeked of cheap alcohol. "Listen up bitch, I'm only gonna say this once. Randall, Daryl and me don't take too kindly too rich off city bitches like yourself comin' in here and telling us what we can and can't do. You got off a bit lucky since Randall's too much of a girl to handle you like he should've, but next time you do some shit like this,you're going to end up under my damn boots. Got it?"

"Randall, Daryl and I." Kelsey intoned, her green eyes looking up at the mean above her, "It's Randall, Daryl, and I. You should've learned that in at least third grade English. Anyway, please, I was only here to talk about animal cruelty, but please. You smell like cheap beer. I can't inform drunks of this."

The clearing went quiet and she felt Daryl's grip tighten on her, and as she looked around she felt an aura of pure hate seep out of three men.

"The fuck you say?" Daryl spoke for the first time and Kelsey looked up at him, noticing Merle begin to step forward.

"I said. I can't inform drunks. I'll inform alcoholics. Please, let me go get you some decent beer and all that. Please. It's an insult to my hertitage if you can't drink properly. Or if you haven't expierenced the wonders of imported booze, it's my job to give it to you."

Merle stared, Daryl shrugged while Randall glared. Moments passed and Kelsey looked at them,waiting to either go or bite and run but right as she was moving to nip Daryl's arm , Merle spoke.

"Alright bitch. We'll go, but first sign if trouble,we're out and you're dead." She grinned and pulled her car keys out her pockets.

"Good. Go put on fresh clothes, and clean yourself up. Us city-folk don't do dirty in their cars."

"You spill that on my lap, swear to god you'll die tonight Dixon."

"Bitch give her damn kiss-you just said you were into that shit."

"The fuck are Merle and Randall? Damn, Daryl. You're the only one with some sense."

"C'mon Merle...Let's get drunk and fuck...and blame it on the alcohol like Jamie Foxx did."

Kelsey's head was a throbbing mess as she woke up. Her clothes, her pink shirt, the dainty jeans and her ballet flats had been thrown to the floor along with eveything else that covered her body. Her legs tangled beneath the sheets and as she sat up she noticed the bed was empty.

A smile twisted onto her face and Kelsey stood up,wrapping the blanket over her body before stumbling out into the kitchen-don't ask her how they got back here alive. They were all wasted out of their minds- before shooting a very hungover Randall a smile.

"I know you're hungover and I know you're pissed that your brother likes me now, but yeah I need to ask: how're you going to buy me some new shades?"