Chapter 4
**He's the only reason that I went to school and I finished.**
We were in the ward at Hell's Pass after the fire. Kevin was lying beside me covered in third degree burns. I didn't really know how to deal with this. He was strong. He was a fighter. The doctors said he wouldn't make it. I hated this feeling. Not knowing whether Kevin was out of the clear or not. Doctors kept coming in and applying orange stuff to his burns. He almost had no recognizable facial features.
"I want you to promise me, Ken." He said at one point. "You'll go back to school. It's not too late to start back up again." He said softly. "I don't want you to do what mom and dad were forced to do." He said softly. "You have to make something of yourself."
"Kevin I don't need to." I said softly as tears filled my eyes. "I can't die… remember? If I starve myself it doesn't matter."
"It matters to me, Kenny." Kevin said softly. "You have to promise me you'll go straight to school and finish up."
So, I had. I finished when I turned twenty-to. I am twenty-three now and still falling apart. Which is why I had to write this all on paper. Because I feel like killing myself all the fucking time. Because my life has spiraled out of control and I have no idea what or where I'm going. I'm going to counseling to deal with all of this, and it was her idea that I write down everything I feel in this, … book type thing. I don't know whether to call it a story or journal… or what. I'm starting to cry again, so I'll stop there.