Chapter Four
The cool air brushed past Rachel face, but this time she didn't really notice. She was on her way to work, which had changed to real work. As she approached the base, she found herself automatically searching for that one car. She was a bit disappointed when she didn't see it. She put off her helmet and walked inside.
"Morning, Rachel," Joyce greeted her warmly.
"Morning," Rachel smiled back and made her way to the bar as Joyce stopped her.
"Rachel."
Rachel turned and walked back to the desk, Joyce was leaning over it. With one arm Rachel leant on the desk, looking up at the redhead.
"Yes?"
"Was everything all right with Quinn last night?"
"I don't know exactly. I found her in her car next to the road, crying. Joyce, what the hell happened to her?" Rachel asked, she was really worried about the blonde after last night.
"A lot, Rae, but it's not my place to tell." Awkwardly, Joyce backed up a bit, looking sorrowful.
Rachel nodded and looked down. "It's okay, I get it. It's just, she looked so fuckin' broken." Joyce just nodded, still with the sorrowful look in her eyes, she knew Quinn was broken. "Well, I'm going to check if my crew is already awake," Rachel said jokingly and walked into the bar.
"One good morning, fellow pilot," Ferdy greeted her and smiled at her.
"Good morning."
She sat down, observing her crew. Steve was laying on the couch, yawning loudly. Ned sat in a lazy chair, his eyes closed. Only Ferdy seemed to be wide awake.
"Where were you last night? We had to call in the other crew, because you and Fabray went AWOL," Ferdy asked quietly, looking worriedly up at her.
"O shit, we had a call out?"
"Yeah, around ten."
"Shit. I'm really sorry, Ferdy. Quinn…didn't feel well, so I brought her home."
"She okay?"
"I don't know."
Rachel bowed her head, she had been wondering the same thing the entire night. She thought of the moment she had found Quinn in the car. She didn't know why she had followed the blonde after their conversation, but she did. When she found the car parked next to the road, she was scared Quinn had an accident. But what she found in the car, was completely horrifying. Quinn was crying so hard, Rachel was afraid the blonde would be dehydrating. The entire night Rachel hadn't been able to forget the sight of a crying and broken Quinn.
"Berry, you coming? The briefing is about to start," Steve pulled her out of her thought.
"Yeah, I'm coming."
She stood up and walked after her crew. She walked into the briefing room, finding the blonde medic sitting in the back in the room. She didn't look broken at all, perhaps a bit exhausted. Their eyes met briefly and Rachel smiled at her. She heard the CO come in and quickly she walked to her seat next to Ferdy. She sat down and listened with half an ear to the briefing. She wasn't able to look at Quinn at the moment, but she remembered the look on her face when she entered. Although she hadn't looked broken, she still had that broken look in her eyes. If you didn't pay attention to it, it was easy to miss. But Rachel knew it was there and she had seen it. At that moment, right in the middle of the briefing, she promised herself to do everything to fix the blonde.
"How did you know where I lived?"
Startled, Rachel looked aside, noticing the briefing room was empty. Next to her stood Quinn, her hand leaning on the back of Rachel's chair and the other hand on the table before Rachel. Quinn had a hard look in her eyes, her mouth was a tight stripe.
"Underway I called Joyce. She told me where you lived and where to find the key."
Quinn squinted, nodded and let go of Rachel's chair. She walked down the remaining steps and made her way to the door. Rachel watched her go flabbergasted and suddenly she flew on her feet. Quickly she was next to Quinn and grabbed her arm to make her stop. Quinn turned around, her eyes still hard.
"Quinn, are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Rachel let go of her arm, suddenly scared of the hard look in Quinn's eyes. Suddenly they softened a bit and Quinn closed in on Rachel, looking down on the tiny co-pilot. The sadness had returned in her eyes. "Thanks for last night. I would appreciate you didn't tell anyone."
"I..I won't," Rachel stuttered.
Quinn just nodded and walked down the stairs. Rachel stared after her and leant against the brick wall. The hard look in Quinn's eyes had scared her to her bones. She knew what was going on, she had gotten too close to her last night, she had seen her vulnerable. And now Quinn was pushing her away. She couldn't stop the sudden stream of tears. It hurt so much, it took away her breath. Rachel knew where this was coming from. From the first time they had met at high school, she had been secretly in love with the blonde, even when she was in her bitchy mood. But she had told herself it wouldn't be possible, seeing Quinn was dating Finn and later on Puck and Sam. After high school she had distracted herself from Quinn by having flings and a few relationships with other women. But stupid enough they all had one thing in common, they were all blonde. And now Quinn had showed up here in Roswell as her medic and obvious in need of her comfort last night, Rachel had started to hope. To hope on something she had hoped for so long. Hoping for the love of the blonde.
With hard, big steps Quinn walked into the hangar. She felt so freakin' embarrassed about last night. How could she had lost her nerve so quickly and so easy with Rachel? She remembered sitting in the grass for hours, bawling her eyes out in the arms of Man Hands. With angry movements, Quinn pulled out the medical supplies and started filling the medical bags. And if it wasn't enough, Daniel had reprimanded her for leaving way too early from her shift. She had felt so unprofessional.
"Here you are." Quinn turned as she heard Jackie's voice behind her. "I thought I saw you marching this way. What is this, your therapeutic space?" she joked.
Quinn smirked and looked at the ground. "Something like that."
"Q, are you all right?"
Jackie's voice sounded worried and she tried to catch Quinn's eyes. Finally, Quinn looked up with tear filled eyes.
"Not really, J."
Jackie stepped forward and wrapped the blonde in her arms, feeling her body shake involuntarily. She felt the pain Quinn was feeling, she knew what she was going through.
"It's okay, sweetie. It's okay," she cooed.
Quinn broke away from the embrace and wiped away her tears.
"I feel so stupid," she confessed, she knew she could trust Jackie.
"Why?"
"Last night. I had this conversation with Rachel and she asked how it felt to be back here. I was way too honest by answering that it felt weird. Of course she asked why. Since I've been here, she's so nice to me, while I was so horrible to her in high school. And to make things worse, she found me broken down in my car and brought me home."
The words just flooded out of her mouth, without even stopping to breathe.
"Is that a bad thing? To have someone who cares?" Jackie questioned softly.
"Yes," Quinn suddenly snapped and grasped the medical bag of the table. She walked passed Jackie out of the hangar. Jackie followed her quickly. "Every time someone cares for me, they die," she choked out.
Jackie grabbed her hand to make her stand still. The black haired woman looked into her eyes.
"That happened one time, Quinn."
"One time too much." Quinn felt the threating tears burn behind her eyes, but refused to let them out. "I miss her so much." Her voice broke at the last word.
Once again Jackie took Quinn into her arms, feeling tears stream down her face too.
"I know you do," she choked.
Both of them didn't notice the silent figure behind the glass who was staring at them. She had a worried look in her eyes…
The adrenaline rushed through her veins as the chopper made its way through thin air. Not even fifteen minutes ago they got a call out of somebody hanging on a thread on a cliff.
"I have a visual at two o'clock," Ferdy suddenly said and Quinn looked out the window behind her. She saw someone hanging over the ledge on a rope. He or she, Quinn couldn't see from this far, was waving at them. Quinn moved from her seat to the cargo door and hooked herself on the winch. She was about to hook off the intercom of her helmet as Rachel turned around and faced her.
"You'd be careful off the fall winds? They're being tricky," she said concerned.
"I know, I've done this before, remember?" Quinn smirked back and hooked off the intercom.
She smiled reassuring at the tiny brunette and sat down on the floor. Quinn looked outside and soon she had the figure hanging on the rope in sight. It was a woman who was screaming loud at them. Ned held up his thump as he winched her up and Quinn swung herself outside the chopper. She felt herself lower and gave directions to Ferdy.
"Help! Please, help me!" she heard the woman cry. The woman tried to reach Quinn, by swinging towards her. Suddenly the rope slipped a bit down and the woman cried out loud.
"Keep hanging still. I'm coming," Quinn yelled and immediately the woman clung on to the rope and tried to hang as still as she could.
Quinn estimated the distance and decided to swing to a really small ledge just above the woman. She stretched out her arm and felt the chopper move a bit. She swung herself towards the ledge and missed several times.
"Damn it," she swore as she grabbed her radio. "Ned, winch me up a bit," she yelled in the radio.
She felt she lifted a bit and tried again. Now she could grab the ledge and hanged on to it. She grabbed the woman's rope and secured it first.
"I secured you, hang on, okay? Can you tell me your name?" she said to the woman who hung just inches beneath her.
"K-k-Karen," the woman answered.
"Okay, Karen. I'm Quinn. I'm going to get you out of this, okay?"
The woman just nodded quietly, tears were streaming down her face.
"Ned, can go give me a bit lengths? I'm going to climb down to grab her," Quinn said in the radio, looking down at the woman and smiled at her.
"Yep, hang on."
She felt she had more length and started to climb down towards the woman. With on hand she kept holding on to the ledge, while with the other she reached for the woman.
"Give me your hand, I'll pull you up." The woman looked really scared up at her and shook quietly her head. "Come on. I won't let you fall."
"I can't," the woman squeaked and moved a bit so Quinn could see the blood on the woman's arm. Her arm was tangled up in the rope and the rope was cutting into her arm.
"Shit," Quinn mumbled.
She looked down to see if she could place her foot a bit lower so she could let go of the ledge. All she found was polished rock. Suddenly her eye fell on a piece of rock that stuck out. It was small and Quinn wasn't sure if it could hold her, or both of them for that matter. She had to tack the change, if it didn't hold her, she at least hung on a line. She had to help this woman and fast. The longer she hung like this, the more change the woman had on an amputation. Carefully, Quinn moved her weight down and with her toes she touched the rock. It didn't move, but little pieces of rocks were falling down into the depths. Really slowly, she let go of the ledge above her and leant with all her weight on the rock.
"Please hold," she prayed quietly.
Now she was in a good position to reach the woman and careful she got hold of the extra harness.
"Okay, Karen. I'm going to reach behind you and wrap this harness around your waist, okay?"
"Okay," Karen choked.
"It's going to be fine, just keep holding on."
Quinn reached behind the woman's back and slid one side of the harness between the woman and the rock. The woman yelled out of agony, she got pulled down a bit.
"Please, hurry," she cried.
With a click, Quinn attached the woman to her own harness.
"I got you. I'm going to cut the rope now."
Out of her pocket, Quinn reached for her pocket knife and cut the rope just above Karen's arm. The rope got loose and fell down. Karen let her arm hung down, but Quinn quickly put it up again.
"Keep it high, okay?"
Karen nodded. At that moment the rock underneath them started to shift and crumble. Quinn motioned to Ned to pull them up. Just as her feet left the rock, the rock crumbled down and fell into the depths. Soon they were in the safety of the chopper, Ned helped Karen lay down on the stretcher.
"We need to get to the hospital," Quinn said as soon as her intercom was connected.
"We're on our way, we'll be there in ten minutes," Rachel replied and Quinn felt the chopper made a turn. She bowed over Karen, who was more or less unconscious.
"Make it five," Quinn growled softly.
"Will you never ever do that again?"
Angrily, Rachel stood behind Quinn who was working with the ropes. A bit confused, Quinn turned to face the tiny brunette.
"Do what?"
"Bring yourself in danger like you did."
With fierce eyes, Rachel looked up to the taller blonde, who just smirked at her.
"Look, I knew what I was doing."
"Really? With those winds you could've been crushed."
"That didn't happen, did it?"
"No, but still… Don't do that again," Rachel ended softer, looking worried up at Quinn.
Quinn briefly closed her eyes and tossed away the cleaned ropes into the storeroom. This conversation called up unwanted memories.
"I know my job. So don't stand here and telling me how to do my job, Man Hands."
She saw the words hit hard with Rachel. Without speaking another word, Rachel turned on her heels and walked away. Quinn sank onto the floor, leaning her back against the door of the storeroom. She buried her head in her hands. She really didn't mean to hurt Rachel, but she had to get rid of her. The words Rachel spoke, looked a lot like Jaidy's words…
"What the hell were you thinking?"
Surprised Quinn turned to Jaidy, who was looking furious.
"Excuse me?"
"That stunt you pulled this morning. You could've been killed!"
Quinn smirked at the Latina's pissed off face and pecked her cheek softly.
"I knew what I was doing, sweetie," she said and turned back to her work.
"Quinn, just don't do that ever again, okay?"
"Okay, I'll try. But you have to understand, if I hadn't done it, that girl would've lost her leg."
Jaidy leant next to her against the storeroom, looking aside at the blonde medic.
"I know, and you did good, but still…" her voice trailed off as she looked away.
Quinn placed her hand on Jaidy's chin and lifted her head so she could look into her eyes.
"I will be careful, I promise…"
Quinn had started crying involuntarily, the memory off Jaidy was too hard to bear. She knew she was alone, so she let herself go. When she had come back, she had known it would be hard, but she didn't know if she could keep going like this. Maybe she should've listened to herself, she couldn't work like this. Shaking, she took in a few breathes to calm herself. She gave herself a mentally kick, of course she could work, this was all she lived for. But still, walking around here and missing the people she really wanted to see, was hard. Wiping away the tears she stared outside to the chopper. A single tear slipped her eye as she tried to lock the memories away. She didn't see the broad figure standing in the doorway, who looked sympathetic at her.
Rachel was sitting in the grass next to the building, she looked out over the mountains she loved so much. Quinn's words had hit hard on her and she had barely been capable of keeping the tears in, until she was here. Now had the tears dried up and was she wondering what she could do to help the blonde. It was obvious Quinn was hurt in a bad way. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to get it out of Joyce.
"Here you are."
Rachel looked up and saw Jessica Ferrer approaching with two glasses filled with juice. She came sitting next to Rachel and handed her a glass.
"Thanks."
The two girls sat in silence, staring into the distance. At least, Rachel was. Jessica was staring at Rachel with a curious and worried look.
"So, what's going on? You look upset," she finally asked and took a sip of her juice.
Rachel putted down the glass and sighed.
"Quinn. We argued just now."
"You argued with Quinn Fabray? Wow." Jessica sounded impressed and the tiny brunette smirked.
"She won."
"Of course she did. She's Quinn Fabray."
"Yeah, I know."
Rachel looked back at the mountains and frowned. What Quinn had said didn't hurt as much as it did in high school, by now she was used to the name. It was more the way she said it. The tiny co-pilot took her glass and took a sip.
"Can I ask you something?" Rachel looked aside Jessica, who nodded and looked curious. "How well do you know Quinn?"
Jessica fell silence for a moment, clearly thinking about the question.
"Not so good. Of course, we talked and stuff, but we weren't BFF's. No, she was that with Jaidy. Some even said it was more than that. I like Quinn, she's though, but nice."
"Who is Jaidy?" Rachel asked curious, the name sounded like a girl's name.
"You're replacing her," Jessica said darkly, her eyes fixed on the mountains. "She was co-pilot here."
"What happened?"
"They crashed on the south side. Only Quinn survived."
Rachel stared at her with open mouth, lost for words. Shocked she let Jessica's little story sink in. If Jessica was right and Jaidy did meant more to Quinn, then she could understand what the blonde was going through. Well, not quite understand, but she could imagine it.
"Before the crash, Quinn was really nice. She had humor, was nice and was always cheerful."
"Really? Quinn and humor? When we went to school, she was pretty much a bitch," Rachel said surprised.
"People can change, Rae," Jessica said and took her last sip.
"They sure can," the brunette mumbled.
Jessica stood up and looked down at Rachel, she frowned and bit her lip.
"Look, Rae," Rachel looked up at hearing the serious tone in Jessica's voice. "I don't know what happened between you and Quinn, but be careful with her, okay? She's been through a lot."
"I will," Rachel answered serious.
Jessica nodded and walked off. Rachel stared back at the mountains. Sure, she would careful with the blonde medic, if only Quinn wouldn't push her away. She understood Quinn had been through a lot, surviving a crash is not nothing, especially if you lost someone you liked. She could quite understand that. Determined, Rachel stood up. She would do anything to make Quinn love again. She really wanted to meet the Quinn she'd become after high school. Rachel shot one last look on the mountains she loved and walked back inside, intended to start to reach her new goal as soon as she could.
She was half way her shift as Quinn walked into the WING-OP centrum. Jackie was busy checking out the weather for the next day, as Quinn leaned on the desk.
"J?"
Now Jackie looked up and startled as she saw Quinn's red eyes and sorrowful look on her face. She quickly abandoned the weather and came standing next to Quinn. Worried, she wrapped an arm around the blonde who looked like she could start to cry at any second.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" Jackie asked quietly.
"I screwed up. Again."
"What do you mean? Come, sit down."
She took Quinn behind the desk and made her sit down on a chair. She herself knelt down before Quinn, taking her hands in hers.
"Rachel. I…I called her names. Names I used back in high school. The pain in her eyes. I just can't…" Quinn voice broke, she really hated herself now for calling Rachel that. The brunette hadn't deserved in, not at all. She had deserved to get called names, not Rachel. Rachel, who had been so kind to her since she arrived her. Rachel, who had taken care of her when she couldn't. Rachel, who hadn't even recalled their time at high school.
"Why don't you tell what happened?"
Quinn took a deep breath, forcing the tears back.
"She called me out on our call out this afternoon. I know, it was risky what I was doing, but I knew what I was doing. Then, suddenly she asked if I would do that never again with that nice, soft voice of hers. I remembered Jaidy had asked me the same once and I just got rude to Rachel, just to get her out of the way. I didn't want her to see me cry again. She didn't have to see it," Quinn told her best friend, a single tear rolled down on her cheek. Jackie softly wiped it away with her finger. "I just hate myself for calling her the name she hates the most. Man Hands."
"Man Hands? How did you come up with that name? She has really delicate hands," Jackie exclaimed curious.
Quinn chuckled at Jackie's defence.
"I don't know. I think I was just jealous at her. She had Finn, was the best singer and had the most change of becoming a star. I wanted all of that too, except for Finn. You like her, don't you?"
Jackie hesitated for a second. "Yeah. First I was hesitant, she reminded me of Jaidy. But somewhere on the way, she grow on my. She really nice and kind."
"Yeah, she is. Always has been, actually. Yes, she acted like a diva back at school, but she was always nice," Quinn remembered.
Jackie smiled and stood up. She looked down at the blonde medic, who was staring blankly at the computer screen.
"You need to make up with her," she stated, making Quinn look up.
"I know and I will."
"Good. Now, get out of my chair, I've got work to do," the black haired WING-OP said jokingly.
Quinn grinned and stood up from the chair.
"There you go, majesty," she smirked and walked around the desk. "Hey, J?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Jackie just smiled. Feeling slightly better, Quinn walked out of the WING-OP centrum.
Rachel walked to her mountain bike at the end of her shift. She was exhausted. They had had three more call outs, one was for a moron who had let on his fire and two were in serious trouble in the woods. But still she couldn't figure out why people went into the mountains at eleven in the evening.
"See you tomorrow, Rachel."
Steve walked passed her to his car.
"See you tomorrow, Steve," she greeted him and putted on her helmet.
She just loved riding her bike. Of course, she could drive a car, but she preferred her bike. It was way healthier, and this way she could keep up her condition. She stepped onto her bike as a figure came out of the dark of the building and walked towards her.
"Rachel?"
A/N: Wow, I think this is the longest chapter I've written so far! Anyway, thanks all for reading, alerting and reviewing! I love you all very much for doing that, it makes me very, very happy!