Tony, for the first time in a long time wearing jeans rather than a suit, headed out of the squad room. As Abby watched him walk away until he was out of sight, Tim watched Abby.
"You seem awfully interested in DiNozzo's departure," Tim said.
"Research," Abby answered.
"Research?"
"Yes, research. I'm working from the hypothesis that underlying personality issues often manifest in gait."
"Gate?"
"Not gate as in Pearly. Gait, as in walk. The perp walk should be a forensic profiling tool, not just a photo op. I have to establish parameters and correlations and subtract subjectivity and compile data. It'll be way cool when I make it into the books."
She crossed her wrists in front of her, palms out, then spread her arms wide.
"The Scuito Stridology Index of Trait Indicators."
Tim raised an eyebrow. "Stridology?"
"Seriously, McGee. Think about it. They use handwriting experts to supposedly profile, but handwriting's lame. If you didn't know Tony which would tell you more about him-his handwriting or his walk? Tony mainly swaggers and struts, sometimes saunters. And Gibbs, Gibbs strides and stalks, on very rare occasions ambles. Now, while Tony does sometimes stalk, Gibbs never, ever struts. I mean, can you even imagine Gibbs strutting? No way! You can tell a lot about a person by the way they navigate from point A to point B."
"What about me?"
"You just walk."
"Gee, thanks Abs."
"Nononono, Timmy! That's a good thing!"
"Like Muzak and white bread?"
"No, like you're comfortable in your loafers. Your gait has no underlying issues, you don't try to project or hide-you just walk."
"The Scuito Stridolgy Index of Trait Indicators," Tim said. Abby nodded.
Tim raised his chin and squinted at her.
"Really?" Tim asked.
Abby lightly cuffed his arm.
"No, not really, silly." She shrugged. "Tony has a nice caboose."
Abby smiled and leaned to kiss him on the cheek.
"But, yours is nicer."