Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Twilight Series. That belongs to Stephenie Meyer
Chapter 4
We dropped the car off in front of the club and Emmett tossed the keys to the valet parker. The look on his face was pure envy. He clearly enjoyed driving it. Not that I could blame him. It was one very smooth ride. Upon nearing the door to the club I caught a glimpse of the bouncers face. He was obviously stunned to see such beautiful people in front of him. Rose in all of her glory stepped up to the awestruck man and whispered in his ear. The poor man smiled and blushed at whatever she had said. He pulled back the rope that blocked the entrance, and allowed us all to pass.
It was very dark in the club and it had a slow almost exotic feel to it. The walls were a rich brown, the lighting was very mellow. Not hard pulsing lights. I was very glad for this because flashing lights really didn't do anything for me except make me dizzy. We were lead up to the VIP room by one of the managers. He must have noticed us when we walked in. It had deep couches and small tables. The room was illuminated by candle light. It cast shadows in all directions blanketing the room with a seductive glow. The music was low with an easy pace. It was soothing to my ears. Emmett and Rose ran back down the stairs with Alice and Will following. I turned to see them out on the dance floor.
I sank down into the sofa and noticed that Jasper did the same. It felt strange to be sitting so close beside him and not saying anything. It was the looming silence that made me speak. "Hey, you know back at the house in the bathroom. I'm really sorry about that. I... um..." He laughed at my unease and lifted my chin to look at him. "It's not a big deal Bella. Nothing to be concerned about." I calmed down but was touched by a wave of desire. Not sure if it was me or if it came from him. His golden eyes looked straight into mine and I was sure he was going to kiss me again. The disappointment I felt when he just grabbed my hand and stood up was horrible. I shouldn't expect him in the span of a few days to fall all over me. That was something that a gentlemen wouldn't do. He must have felt it because he grinned. He pulled me to my feet and I followed him down the stairs to join the others.
"Jazz, I really can't dance. I'm going to end up killing everyone in this room when I fall." He pulled me close and whispered into my ear. His breath sent shivers down my spine. "Would I let you fall?" His mouth pressed into my hair as he continued. "Would I let you kill anyone?" I felt his breath move down to my neck. I was almost hyperventilating. Jasper this close, touching me. It was more than I could handle. His firm lips touched my neck. "I promise I won't let you go." I looked up at his face and written all over it was need. He ran his hands down my body until they rested gently on my hips. I could feel them sitting there almost burning my skin. We swayed completely in tune with the music. His hands guiding my hips to the rhythm. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed. "What are you thinking about?" He opened his eyes and they smoldered into mine. He lowered his voice and answered simply. "Fate. I'm thinking about fate."
Not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing I turned out of his arms and walked back up the stairs and sat down. A few minutes later I was joined by Rosalie. Her expression was unreadable. This was wrong on so many levels. Jasper and I together would just never work. I don't think that either of us were functioning normally. The hurt inside of us was rooted to deeply to be covered up and forgotten. I wouldn't have even noticed Rose talking to me if she wouldn't have snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Hello, earth to Bella. Haven't you heard anything that I have said to you?" I looked at her and apologized. "Sorry Rose, I don't know what I was thinking." Her laugh was light as she looked at me. "You know, you were the same way when you were human. Every single thought that you have shows on your face. I don't have to be a mind reader to know what you are thinking. I don't need to be an empath to know what you are feeling." She looked down onto the dance floor where Emmett was trying to get away from a girl who probably asking him to dance. She smiled. Lucky Rose! She was safe in the knowledge of her relationship. Emmett loved her and had probably never thought of leaving her. The perfect Rosalie. Her blond head turned back sharply to me. "Now you listen to me Isabella Swan! It's time for you to move on. Time to join the world again. Don't let your past dictate your future. As you know the things that have happened to me should have traumatized me for the rest of my existence. But I get up everyday and I live. You should be doing the same thing. Edward is gone! He isn't coming back to you, and it's not your fault. This is the path that your life has taken. You need to take whatever happiness you can find and hold onto it. You deserve it, and as much as you hate to hear it I'm sure that's what Edward wants for you as well."
Rose had never talked to me like this. I was shocked at the picture of me that she had painted. Was I really holding out for someone who would never come back into my life? I put my head down into my hands. I had wasted years upon years hoping for something that would never happen. She was right. The way I was living was not a way to live. I had closed myself off from everything and everyone. I was missing out on the people who loved me and I loved in return. I thought back to when he had first left and how I was.
I laid in the soft grass for hours just waiting for him to come back and tell me it had all been a mistake. It had been early morning when we had got there. To our meadow. I watched the sun get brighter directly over my head. Funny how I used to dream of the two of us laying here, the sun causing rainbows to dance off of our skin. He should be here with me now. I felt more than saw the sun set over the trees. For once the forest was completely silent. I guess the animals thought it would be best to leave me in absolute silence. The moon was high in the sky when I finally saw someone. Rosalie, I knew she cared for me, but that was when I learned to the extent of her compassion. She sat down quietly beside me and pulled me into her stone embrace. I couldn't cry, but if I could have I would have soaked her shirt. We sat there for who knows how long. Not saying a word and not moving. She finally spoke, her voice full of emotion and sadness. "Bella, we need to go home." It took a few attempts to get my voice to work properly. I didn't know what else to tell her so I told her the truth, the honesty of my words made my chest constrict ."He's gone." She picked me up even though I could walk and run on my own. She whispered down into my ear. "Bella my sister. I will protect you."
Days passed into weeks and then into months. I didn't even know that time was still moving. I saw the leaves change outside with the passing of the seasons, but it meant nothing to me. I left the house only to hunt, and even then I hated leaving the bedroom. Our room. Esme had tried to get me to change rooms, but I just couldn't leave. His smell was on everything and I was afraid if I left I would forget. I heard the hushed voices of my family, their concern for me was growing everyday. I heard the dry sobs from Esme as she realized her fist child was gone and her newest daughter was broken. There was nothing I could do to alleviate their suffering because their pain was my pain.
I felt a hand start to rub circles on my back. I looked over at the person sitting next to me. I knew it would be Jasper. I looked to see Rosalie rescuing her husband from the clutches of another woman. "Bella, I apologize if anything that happened down there made you uncomfortable. I didn't expect to feel like that and I guess I got a little carried away." I shook my head at him. "No, it wasn't anything you did. I was just as caught up in it as you were." I looked down at my hands and then into his handsome face. His features were covered in worry. "Besides, it's not your fault that you're so good looking and smell so delicious." He laughed at my attempt to break the tension that was between us.
We both sat there silently for a while. His fingers traced circles on my arm. I tried not to over think what was going on between the two of us. I was trying to relax and just enjoy the companionship. It caught me off guard on how well I was doing with being around another person, and a male at that. It had taken me years to even let someone touch me after Edward had left. But Jasper's touch was light and gentle. He was mesmerizing me slowly. I felt like a fire was starting to consume me with each stroke of his finger. I felt myself being pulled onto his lap and I didn't fight him. I wanted to be close to him too much. We just sat there looking at each other, memorizing each detail. He moved his hand up to touch the skin on my cheek. The feeling was so intense. His thumb rubbed across my bottom lip and the pleasure I felt from it was unlike anything I had ever known. I sunk my fingers into his hair and pulled his lips closer to mine. His lips parted slowly and I was struck again with his wonderful scent. I touched my lips to his. I lost all track of time and place. He pulled me in closer to him to deepen the kiss. I felt his tongue move into my mouth to explore. Something in me exploded at that point and I joined him putting equal passion into it.
The kiss was unlike anything I had ever experienced with Edward. There was no politeness, only need and hunger. Where his kisses had been gentle and sweet, Jasper's were rough and extremely passionate. I had to pull back for a breath of air. I saw his chest rise and fall with his heavy breathing. I was glad to see that he was as affected by our kiss as I was. I reached for his hand confident of what I wanted to do next. I was ready to move on and I was ready to give someone a part of me that I had kept buried deep down for so long. I caught Rose's smile as we were almost out the door. I gave her a conspiratorial wink which held a wealth of meaning. She would understand. I didn't feel bad for leaving them because Emmett had the keys and would get the all home safely. Putting my thoughts behind me I ran into the darkness with Jasper at my side.