A/N: This chapter is for Hades, Lord of the Dead, who requested drunk!Moose!Sam. Beware: complete and utter crack to follow. Enjoy!
-Jaq
"Yeah...I dunno, Sammy. I just wish we could still drink together, ya know?"
Sam shook his head, his antlers swinging around, and made a moose noise.
He waked over to the bar, overturning three small tables and a poodle.
"Ooouuuuuaaahhhh," he informed the bartender.
Try as he might, the bartender didn't speak Moose. But he got the idea.
"No glasses, eh?" he said in a thick New York accent. "Well, lucky for you, I got some bowls in da back. You want somethin' ta drink?"
Sam nodded vigorously.
The bartender winked and got out a wide bowl. He filled it to the brim with beer.
Sam drank it noisily and sloppily, but he did it. What he didn't know was that moose get drunk a lot easier than humans.
After his third beer, Sam tottered on four wobbly legs back to Dean, who was sitting next to an attractive young brunette.
"AAUUOO," Sam said wisely. He crashed into a table, sending it to the ground. Dean's eyes widened.
"Sam...are you drunk?!"
Sam nodded, nuzzling the table.
Dean cursed, but he was smiling. "Alright, let's...go back to the truck. We...have to get back to the motel." To the young woman, he said, "maybe some other time, Lil." He grabbed his glass of beer and headed outside, throwing a crumpled twenty on the table.
'Lil' pouted and waved goodbye. Dean guided Sam out the door and to the orange pickup.
Just one problem. Along the way, Sam started dancing. He swung his head back and forth, making his long fur swish back and forth. He began to stick one foot out, and then the other, in a rhythmic dance-type thing. Dean (who, it ought to be said, wasn't exactly sober) began to hum REO Speedwagon, slightly off-tune. Sam swayed to the beat, and Dean raised his glass high.
Brad was sitting in his car nearby, scowling at the moose who had currently wrecked no less than five cars with his antlers and inebriation.
Sam didn't want to go on the truck. He wanted to run wild and free, along with the wind and the beer fumes.
He sprinted ahead, hair blowing in the wind, and Dean followed behind in the orange pickup.
When they got back to the motel, Sam attempted to play beer pong in the common room with several young men, but he accidentally crashed the chandelier. The beer spilled on the floor (and Sam helped drink it up).
After the beer pong, Sam noticed the karaoke.
"AOOOOOUUUHOOOHUAH," he sang to the vague tune of Someone Like You. Dean stood in the back wondering what had happened.
Everyone clapped, because it turned out Sam had a very good impression of Adele, if Adele was a moose.
The end.
A/N 2: if you made it to the end of that rubbish, would you mind reviewing? I'll just sit here and listen to REO Speedwagon...requests are so welcome! Thanks for reading.
-Jaq