Regina leans against the nursery door and smiles over the rim her coffee mug, watching as Robin brushes Ellie's strawberry blonde hair into a ponytail. She takes a sip of the coffee to stifle a giggle as Ellie squirms on the changing table, squealing as her favorite stuffed yellow duck catches her eye. She spreads her fingers, wiggling them as she reaches for the duck, laughing triumphantly as she grasps the duck's bill and pulls it into her lap as she flops over into the other direction. Robin sighs as the wispy locks slip through his fingers. Ellie hugs the duck close, laughing out as she rolls onto her back; and Regina watches as a smile creeps across Robin's lips as he scoops her up and kisses her dimpled cheek, before sitting her back down on the changing table to try again—and she wonders how many times he's been through this this morning.
"Do you need some help?" Regina asks as she steps into the sunny yellow room.
"No," Robin insists, his voice adamant as she glances back at her over his shoulder. "I can do this." Regina can't help but laugh as Robin inhales a deep breath and picks up the hairbrush. "I can do my daughter's hair."
"If you insist," Regina says, once more taking a sip of her coffee in an effort to stifle a laugh, watching as Ellie reaches for the hairbrush, her chubby fingers reaching for the soft bristles, giggling as they tickle her skin. With a sigh, Robin's head tilts back and slowly, he turns to look at Regina. For a moment, she holds his gaze, smiling in satisfaction as his eyes admit what his voice will not.
She sets the mug down and holds out her hands, smiling warmly as Ellie's face brightens at the sight of her. "Good morning, Princess," she coos as she pulls the girl into her arms and kisses both of her cheeks before shifting her eyes up to meet Robin's. His eyes are soft as he watches her, watching as she cuddles their thirteen-month old daughter who has suddenly become interested her mother's jewelry. Regina clears her throat, snapping him from his gaze as she nods toward the distracted baby—and finally, he's able to twist the strawberry blonde locks into two little ponytails that vaguely resemble little antennas.
Robin leans forward and drops a soft kiss on her lips. "Thank you—and good morning."
"Good morning," she replies as she turns Ellie onto her hip and immediately the small girl stretches herself out, her fingers grasping at the air in an attempt to reach the duck that's too far away to grasp. "Why don't you let me finish getting her dressed—there's a cup of coffee waiting for you on the kitchen counter." Leaning up onto her toes, she drops a quick kiss on his cheek. "I saved you an apple turnover, too."
He smiles warmly, nuzzling his cheek against hers. "You're too good to me."
She pulls back, grinning as she rubs her hand over his arm. "You'd better hurry. Henry and Roland were both milling around in the kitchen, drooling over that last turnover—and you know those two have no self-control when it comes to baked goods."
"Well, they are growing boys," Robin says, chuckling softly as he kisses Ellie's chubby cheek and reaches for her stuffed duck. He taps its bill against the top of her head, causing her blue eyes to grow wide as her chubby fingers grasp around the duck and pull it close.
Regina laughs as she watches him go—his shoulders relaxed and a content smile stretched over his lips. They're happy—together, as a family—happy with the life they've chosen for themselves. They've spent the last year settling into that life—a life of middle-of-the-night feedings and early morning coffee, of love notes scribbled on napkins, of family dinners, Algebra homework and bedtime stories. With three kids, their life is a busy one —an odd mix of organized chaos and mired routines—it's so unlike anything she ever imagined for herself and everything she didn't know that she'd been waiting for.
She looks back at Ellie and the stuffed duck that's tucked tightly underneath her arm and she watches as the little girl's fingers twist around one of the buttons of her shirt. She brushes the back of her fingers over her cheeks, unable to stop the smile tugs at the corners of her mouth when Ellie giggles at the touch, turning her big, blue eyes upward before she drops her head onto her mother's shoulder and snuggles closer. Regina presses her palm against her back, holding her close as she sways back and forth.
Sometimes, she's still taken aback by how fiercely she loves this little girl, how quickly she fell in love with her and how difficult it is for her to imagine a life without her. On most days, the fact that Ellie is not her biological child isn't even a thought that enters her mind. On most days, she doesn't think of the complicated circumstances that brought her into their lives and she doesn't think of the pain her conception caused; because, on most days, when she looks at her little girl, with her sweet, dimpled smile and her bright blue eyes, the only thing she can think of is how very lucky she is to have the opportunity to be a part of her life, how lucky she is to love her—the rest simply doesn't matter. However, every other Saturday, she can't help but remember—and this is one of those Saturdays.
On those Saturdays she and Robin take Ellie to see Zelena. They always meet her somewhere neutral—usually Granny's or the park—and they never stay for very long. But the visits are enough for Ellie to have the chance to know her birthmother, just long enough for Robin and Regina to be able to say that they're trying to include her, just long enough to keep the peace, and just long enough to tug at her heartstrings and make her question whether or not there was another option.
Of course, the visits had been mostly Regina's idea and after several long, tense discussions, Robin had agreed on the account that it was what was best for Ellie, that it should be Ellie's decision whether or not her birthmother would have a place in her life and what that place would be. But, for Regina, it was a little more complex than that. Her motivation stemmed from her own complicated relationship with her mother and her own twisted relationship with Zelena. Growing up Regina was accustomed to feeling inadequate, never feeling as if she were enough and always left to wonder why. Those feelings of inadequacy had persisted into adulthood, coloring her relationships with doubt and insecurity; and she knows the same is true for Zelena—a family trait imparted to them from their mother—a trait she's determined will end with them, a trait that will not be passed onto the precious girl she loves so very much. And then there was her botched handling of Henry finding out about his adoption that sent their happy lives into a whirlwind of confusion and distrust. So, every other Saturday she makes the sacrifice and holds her breath, hoping that it doesn't backfire.
Regina dresses Ellie quickly, choosing for her a navy and white polka-dot dress, then carries her downstairs where Robin stands at the sink, washing out cereal bowls as the boys finish their orange juice. At the first sight of her brothers, Ellie begins to wiggle, babbling excitedly as she tries to break free from Regina's hold; and as soon as her feet hit the floor, she's toddling forward at full speed, crashing into Henry's legs as she attempts to climb into his lap.
Regina shakes her head, laughing gently as she turns to Robin. "You know, the dishwasher will do all of that for you."
Robin's brow arches. "You know I don't trust that thing."
She rolls her eyes and drops a kiss against his cheek before circling around him to refill her coffee cup.
"The diaper bag is all packed," Robin says, smiling through a sigh as Regina tops of his coffee. "We should probably leave soon—the sooner we do, the sooner this will be over with."
"Why can't we come to the park," Roland asks impatiently.
"Yeah," Henry chimes in. "We should to go the park."
"Nice try," Regina says as she turns to Henry and narrows her eyes. "You need to study for your algebra test."
Henry sighs, "Why should Roland suffer because I have a math test?"
"Roland," Robin cuts in, "is just getting over an ear infection. He needs to stay in today, too."
Roland huffs and crosses his arms over. "Can we at least watch cartoons," he asks, shifting between Robin and Regina.
Regina's lips curl into a smile and she nods, reminding Henry to take his notes, and she has to supress a laugh when he rolls his eyes and grumbles, shifting his sister in his arms as she reaches for his backpack and follows Roland into the family room.
"Right now, all I want to do is follow them into the family room and spend the morning watching cartoons with Roland and Ellie, and going over those math notes with Henry." She watches as he sighs, shaking his head as he takes a long sip of his coffee.
She feels a pang of guilt stabbing at her core—she knows how uncomfortable this situation is for him and she knows that he would have been more than content to write Zelena out of their lives. And at times, she wishes they'd have done just that—it would certainly have made their lives easier. She purses her lips, ready to tell him that she'll take Ellie for the visitation, that he can stay with the boys—that someone needs to make sure Henry studies for his Algebra test anyway—but before she can get out the words, he smiles and his entire demeanor changes.
"But, you know, the sooner we get this visit out of the way, the sooner we can focus on…other things."
"What other things?" she asks, arching her eyebrow as her voice piques with interest, watching as he sips his coffee, staring back at her with her with a coy smirk.
He leans against the granite countertop, resting both his elbows against the stone. "I've just…lately, I've been thinking a lot about…us." If it weren't for his blue eyes, sparkling mischievously at her, she might have been worried. But he smiles at her—a smile so full of love that she feels her cheeks flush a little as her own smile pulls at the corners of her mouth. "Do you ever feel like…things between us…moved a little too fast?"
"Oh," she murmurs, her smile fading slightly. "I…"
"Not in a bad way," he's quick to say.
"Then, in what way?" She asks, her voice growing tentative as she watches him take a long sip of his coffee.
But once again, his eyes are smiling at her from over the rim of his mug. "I sometimes regret that I never had the chance to properly court you."
She laughs out in surprise. "Court me?"
"Court you," he repeats. "In all the times we've come back together, in all the times I've been lucky enough to fall in love with you—in the Enchanted Forest, then here in Storybrooke, after New York—I've never been able to sweep you off your feet…"
"I might disagree with that," she interjects, chuckling softly as sips her coffee.
"I'm serious, Regina. We've never really had that." He pauses. "I want to send flowers to your office just to thank you for wonderful evening out, to take you riding beneath the stars and on moonlit walks along the water. I want to take you out for a dinner that doesn't involve one of us having to cut up someone else's food." He shrugs. "That day in the park, the day I told you I chose you, that I wanted to be with you, I thought I'd have the chance. And then when I came back from New York, I thought perhaps I'd have the opportunity then, but…" He shakes his head as his voice trails off. "But we never did."
"No, we didn't, did we?" She says, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.
They'd traded all of that to fight larger than life villains, undoing dark curses and unveiling dark secrets as they worked together to save the souls of Storybrooke from the darkness that threatened them all; and then, when life finally settled down, they had a family to think about—three kids who needed them to be parents. There hadn't been much time for anything else; yet somehow, they've managed their stolen little moments together, to get to better know one another, to settle into their new life and adjust to new routines—in the early mornings when his warm lips replaced her alarm clock, when they'd meet for a quick lunch together at Granny's on a random Tuesday afternoon, or at night when they'd slip beneath the covers and talk until one of them has fallen asleep.
"I don't think we've missed our chance, though," he says very matter-of-factly.
She feels her brow furrow. "Are you saying you…want to date me?"
"And I intend to," he tells her with a nod.
She laughs gently as she feels her cheeks warm. "Robin, we live together. We're raising three children together. We're practically mar…"
He stops her from finishing, smiling brightly as he leans in and kisses her lips—light and airy as he traces his fingers over her jaw. Pulling back he smiles, letting his lips linger over hers for a moment. She starts to lean back in, but this time he steps back, his eyes still smiling. "I'm going to go grab the diaper bag."
The three of them are sitting on an old, raggedy blanket at the edge of the pond. It's a warm fall day and Regina's shoes are kicked to the side as she lays back on her elbows, watching as Robin holds Ellie pointing out the ducks as they paddle around the pond, slowly annunciating the word as Ellie babbles a string syllables in reply. Regina smiles at Ellie's wide eyes and gummy smile, and sweet, high-pitched voice—she's absolutely delighted to watch the ducks, completely unaware that her birthmother is more than a half an hour late.
Regina steals a glance at her watch, sighing quietly as she looks back to Ellie—for the life of her, she'll never understand Zelena. For months, she pressed them to be a part of Ellie's life, yet now given the opportunity, she merely goes through the motions half-heartedly.
And just as she's about to suggest they go, Zelena arrives in a puff of green smoke, spouting off with her usual blustering bravado. Regina slips her hand beneath Robin's, looping her thumb around his and her fingers rub against his wrist when Zelena lifts Ellie into her lap and calls her her little green bean.
"She certainly is a pretty little thing, isn't she?" Zelena coos, not taking her eyes off of Ellie.
"That might be the first thing we've ever agreed upon," Robin replies as his fingers fold around Regina's.
"I think she looks like me," Zelena says in a sing-song voice, as he stands Ellie up on her knees. "Yes, you're just like mommy."
"And that's where the agreement ends," Robin murmurs into Regina's ear. She looks back at Robin and smiles; and when he smiles back, she feels her shoulders relax.
Regina leans back against Robin and takes a breath, her fingers still tracing figure-eight's against his wrist as they watch as Zelena continues to bounce Ellie on her knees. Reaching out, Ellie points at a duck coming up from the pond, laughing and babbling a string of incoherent syllables. Zelena turns and Ellie's foot slips—Regina sits up and she feels Robin stiffen as Zelena catches Ellie, scooping her up and cuddling her as she tells her over and over again that she's okay.
But Ellie's face reddens and scrunches, and she lets out a cry as she reaches out her arms, stretching herself out as her teary blue eyes meet Regina's. Her hand tightens around Robin's as she tries to ignore the pangs of guilt she feels when she doesn't immediately reach for Ellie, but instead allows Zelena to attempt to console her.
"Ma-ma," Ellie calls out, her fingers spread and her arms stretched out as her eyes meet Regina's.
She feels a rush of emotion as her heart skips a beat and her stomach flutters. She's no longer worrying about the pangs of guilt she felt a moment before—the only thing she can think about are Ellie's teary blue eyes and sweet little voice saying 'mama'—and saying it to her.
"What did you say, sweetheart?" Regina asks as she pulls Ellie into her arms, cradling the back of her head as she holds her tightly against her chest. Her eyes brim with tears as she feels Robin's hand against her back, and she turns to find a soft smile painted across his face, and his bright shining eyes looking back at her.
Robin leans in and drops a light kiss atop Ellie's head and she turns her face toward him and smiles.
Ellie's fingers clutch to the fabric of Regina's shirt and she sniffles a few times, and once again she looks up at Regina. "Ma-ma," she says again, this time softer and calmer, but still so sweet and somewhat shy as she tests out the word.
"That's right," Regina murmurs as she looks back at her and brushes her thumbs over Ellie's tear-stained cheeks. "Mama's got you. You're okay."
"Well, well. Isn't this nice?"
Suddenly Regina remembers Zelena's presence and the slight pangs of guilt return as she looks up to see the pained expression on Zelena's face. There's an odd moment of understanding—she knows what Zelena is feeling, she's been in the spot she's in—and she empathizes.
"Zelena, she…"
"I suppose this is it then," Zelena spats as she gets to her feet.
"Zelena, what are you talking about?" Robin sighs in an exasperated voice.
"What am I talking about?" She scoffs. "My…my daughter's made her decision."
"She's thirteen-months old," Robin sighs and rubs her fingers over his forehead. "She can't make decisions."
"You heard her," Zelena replies, her jaw trembling as she folds her arms across her chest and looks indignantly between Robin and Regina . "The two of you have won. You've…"
"Zelena," Regina cuts in. "You're overreacting."
"I couldn't have this one thing, could I?"
And before either Robin or Regina can respond Zelena waves her arms and disappears in a puff of green smoke.
She feels Robins hand on her shoulder and she looks back at him, and once again he's looking at her with soft, kind eyes. "Can we not let Zelena take this moment away from us?"
A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth as she looks from Robin to Ellie, looking down at her as she clutches to the fabric of her of her shirt as studies one of the buttons, completely unaware of the scene that's just unfolded.
Her smile widens as she looks back at Robin. "She said her first word."
"So I heard," he replies, as he hooks his arm loosely around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as he makes a silly face at his daughter.
"She called me mama," she adds, her smile deepening, as she leans back against Robin and the three of them continue to watch the ducks.
Regina stands in front of her closet dressed in her robe. She pulls out a few dresses, examining them carefully before sighing and tossing them onto the bed. A smile etches across her lips as she thinks of Robin coming up behind her after the kids' lunch. He'd been clearing the table and she'd been loading the dishes into the dishwasher pulled her back against him, holding her close as he whispered that he'd made them dinner reservations for that evening—reservations for only two—and he'd already arranged for a babysitter. She'd turned in his arms and linked her hands around his neck and tried to tell him that he didn't have to go to the trouble, but he'd kissed her cheek and told her their reservation was for seven o'clock—and that was all.
"Go with the blue one," Henry says, grinning as he looms in the doorway, a smirk spreading across his face.
She smiles and waves him in and she can't help but chuckle softly as he plops down onto the bed, just like he used to do when he was younger. She smiles at the memory of her little prince, sucking his thumb as he turned his head on the pillows and watched her finishing dressing for the day and making her want nothing more than to change back into her pajamas and spend the morning cuddling with him.
"Did you finish studying?" She asks, bringing herself back into the present moment.
"Yup," Henry replies easily. "I took a practice test and only got one wrong."
Regina smiles, "And now you can enjoy an evening in."
She watches as Henry's eyes roll. "No, now I can write my English paper."
"Well, at least you like English," she suggests with a small, somewhat apologetic smile.
Henry shrugs his shoulders. "At least I have pizza to look forward to."
Regina nods and glances down at the blue dress on the bed, and then slowly her eyes come to meet Henry's. "So, what do you know about this date? I know you know something." Her eyes widen as she watches Henry struggles not to smile. "You do know something."
"I plead the fifth."
"Henry Daniel Mills, it's not fair to keep secrets from your mother."
"It's killing you, isn't it?" Henry laughs. "Not knowing anything about the plans Robin made." She only sighs in response. "I can tell you that if you wear the blue dress, you won't be underdressed."
"So what you're telling me as that we're not going to Granny's."
"I am allowed to tell you that it's not Granny's." Henry grins coyly. "But that's all I'm allowed to tell."
Her mouth falls open and she crosses her arms over her chest. "You're enjoying this."
"I am," Henry confirms with a curt nod. "And you should be enjoying this, too. I think you can give up being in control for a couple of hours."
"Are you saying that I'm controlling?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying," Henry deadpans. "And I don't think I know anyone who would disagree with that." Regina huffs and her eyes widen, as a smile curls onto Henry's lips. "Hey, you raised me. You can't blame me for my sass."
Shaking her head, she can't help but laugh—there are times when he's definitely his mother's son, times when he reminds her so much of the girl she once was, and in those moments her heart warms.
"Robin told me that Ellie said her first word," Henry says, his tone shifting. Regina looks at her son and smiles softly. "He said that she called you 'mama'."
Her smiles widens and she feels a familiar clenching at her heart as she remembers Ellie's sweet, little voice calling out for her, her hands outstretched as she looked directly into her eyes. In that moment, the world faded away and all she could think about was her little girl—a girl who only wanted her mother's love.
"She did," Regina confirms. "It was very sweet."
"Robin's been coaching her for weeks now. I'm glad she finally did it." Henry grins. "And bonus point to her for saying it in front of Zelena."
Regina's eyes meet Henry's and she sighs. In some ways she can't help but empathize with her sister and remember the way the hurt clouded in her eyes—and then she'd lashed out. It wasn't that long ago that she was in a similar position, an outsider looking in, left to watch as her only child called another woman 'mom.'
"How did she react?"
"Not well," Regina says in a tentative voice as she sits down on the edge of the bed. "And I felt sorry for her—as glad as I was to have that moment with your sister, I felt bad for mine." She pauses for a moment, mulling over her thoughts and wanting to choose her words carefully. "She…felt like Ellie was choosing me over her and she stormed off. She said Robin and I had won, that Ellie had chosen us over her and that was that." Regina smiles sadly, hesitating for a moment as she looks at her son. "As much as I hate to say it, I understand how she felt…and why."
She watches as Henry's brow furrows. "Mom, you shouldn't feel bad. You are Ellie's mom and…" His voice trails off, faltering as he stares at her. "Do you…feel that way when I call Emma my mom?"
"No," she's quick to say, "At least, not anymore." Reaching out, she takes Henry's hand and gives it a soft squeeze. She's touched by his concern, but it's unnecessary and she wants nothing more than for it to disappear. "I like that Emma is a part of your life and I like that the two of you are close." She pauses, smiling reassuringly. "I'm fully aware that your heart is big enough for the both of us."
"And so is Ellie's—and if Zelena can't see that, that's her choice. Don't beat yourself up about it." Henry grins as she rolls off the bed. "You can't control everything."
Regina can't help but smile at the comment and she laughs gently as she watches him go. Her eyes trail to the blue dress on the bed and thoughts drift to the mysterious impending date that Robin's planned for them. Taking a breath, she tries to embrace Henry's advice and embrace the element of surprise—at least for a couple of hours.
Robin's fingers thread through her hair as they stand on the porch and she feels her cheeks flush. She looks up at him, almost shyly, as he leans in and captures her lips in his, kissing her softly beneath the warm glow of the porch light.
Their evening out had began just a few hours before. She'd laughed when the doorbell rang and she opened to find Robin standing there, all dressed up and leaning against door's frame. He'd greeted her with a bouquet of light pink apple blossoms, explaining that he'd gone to the florist with the intention of buying roses, but when he saw the blossoms, they'd reminded him of her and the roses were all but forgotten. She'd smiled, accepting the flowers and wondering if she'd ever told him that when she was a little girl she'd lose herself in her grandfather's orchard, climb up into one of the trees and pick the flowers. Leaning in, he kissed her cheek, smiling sweetly as their fingers curled together and she led him into the house.
After placing the flowers in water and saying their goodbyes to Mary-Margaret and the kids, she'd felt butterflies in her stomach. Her anticipation only built as they went to the restaurant and she'd been relieved to find that it truly wasn't Granny's, and instead a tiny little bistro along that overlooked the water—a restaurant with dimly lit candles on red and white checkered table cloths. She'd mentioned it once, in a passing comment. They'd drank red wine and held hands and talked about the things they never have the time to talk about, and when dinner was over they'd walked together along the pier, talking and laughing; and had he not been holding her hand, she might have floated away.
Her hand slips to the back of his neck, drawing him closer before pulling back to rest her forehead against his. "This was nice. We should do this again."
"I'm glad you feel that way, because that's my plan." He grins. "Make sure to clear your schedule for Friday. And dress casually for this one."
She tips her head and a smile slowly works itself over her lips. "You know, I'm not really one for surprises, but I have to say, I'm enjoying the intrigue of this."
"So, tonight…you really had a good time?"
She nods. "I had a good time."
Robin only smiles in return, leaning in to rekindle the kiss. And just as his lips meet hers, the front door is thrown open and Mary-Margaret's voice cuts through the silence, and ending their moment and bringing them back into reality.
"Oh! I thought I heard voices out here."
Regina groans, turning slowly to face Mary-Margaret. She musters a tight smile as she steps forward, lacing her fingers through Robin's as she tugs him into the house.
"I didn't mean to interrupt," Mary-Margaret begins apologetically.
"Then why did you open the door?"
"I told you, I thought I heard someone."
"And you did," Regina murmurs underneath her breath as she glances back at Robin. Clearing her throat, she tries again. "How were the kids?"
Mary-Margaret smiles and starts toward the living room. "They were perfect, just as I expected. Henry's English paper is finished. Roland is tucked in and fast asleep, and Ellie and I have had a lovely evening…when she wasn't crying." Mary-Margaret offers a lopsided grin. "I think she missed you guys."
Regina smiles as Robin lifts Ellie from her bouncer, holding her up over his head and making silly faces at her. Her little laugh rings out and Regina feels her heart flutter as Robin brings her down and holds her against his chest.
"Ma-ma," she says, as her eyes fall on Regina.
"Well, that's new!"
Regina grins as she takes Ellie's hand and kisses it. "It is new," she says, looking back at Mary-Margaret. "She said it for the first time today."
Mary-Margaret sighs as a smile stretches across her lips. "You two have come so far." Regina turns to her, raising her eyebrows, and for a moment, she doesn't understand. "A year ago, you were so unsure, but just look at how much you love her now."
Regina nods, "Loving her was never the real concern." Regina turns her fingers to the back of Ellie's hand, rubbing them over her soft skin. "She's a wonderful addition to our family."
"I still think you should have named her Hope."
Regina fights the urge to roll her eyes as she looks back to Mary-Margaret. "Now I know you're working for the Hope Commission."
"Even if it were just as a middle name," Mary-Margaret teases.
"She's a baby, not a Hallmark card."
"And she already has a middle name," Robin adds in a sing-song voice as he bounces Ellie on his hip, continuing to make silly faces at her. Regina feels her shoulders tense and she holds her breath, and Robin looks between the two women. His brow furrows. "She has Regina's middle name."
Mary-Margaret's grin brightens as she looks to Regina with wide eyes, "In all the years we've been a part of each other's lives, I never knew that you had a middle name. I assumed you were one of those people who just didn't have one."
Regina looks to Robin and he sighs, dropping a kiss atop Ellie's head. "It's well-past her bedtime. I should take her upstairs." He kisses Regina's cheek as he passes, murmuring both his apologies and goodnights.
"What was that about?"
Regina bristles as she watches them ascend the stairs then slowly returns her focus to Mary-Margaret. She softens as she looks into Mary-Margaret's quizzical eyes—remembering the girl she once was and remembering the quiet promise she'd made to Ellie on the night she was born—a promise to do better this time around.
"My middle name—the name I gave my daughter—is Mary," Regina says, shifting uncomfortably as her eyes meet Mary-Margaret's.
For a moment, neither says anything, instead shifting uncomfortably as though rooted in place and incapable of any meaningful movements. The silence that settles between them clamors with unspoken feelings—feelings of love and friendship, heartache and regret, forgiveness and understanding.
Regina watches as a smile twists onto Mary-Margaret's lips and for a split second she doesn't see Mary-Margaret, but instead Snow White, the little girl whom she saved, the little girl who idolized her, the little girl who followed her around with wide hopeful eyes and spouted off desires for happiness and love in a fantastical way that only a ten-year old could. "I like that," she says decidedly.
"Yeah," Regina says with a meek nod, fighting against the tears that threaten to flood her eyes as her lips stretch into a tight smile. "I do, too."
Again, the silence turns awkward as the two women stand together in the living room. To say that their history is a complicated one is an understatement—something they've acknowledged time and time again, a history that seems to always seems reveal new layers.
"Well, I think I'd better go," Mary-Margaret finally says, glancing toward the stairs as she reaches for her jacket. "David and Neal had a boys' night, so I can only imagine that the loft is a complete disaster and at least one of them has a tummy ache." She grins. "And I think someone upstairs will want her mama to tuck her in soon."
Regina can't help the smile that forms. "Thank you—thank your babysitting tonight."
"Anytime," Mary-Margaret says easily, as they make their way into the foyer. "So, I'll see you next Friday…if I don't see you before then."
"Friday?"
"Another date night?" Mary-Margaret grimaces. "I didn't spoil a surprise, did I?"
"No," Regina says, feeling her cheeks flush. "I just…wasn't thinking about that." She pauses. "You know you don't have to…"
"Don't even suggest that I'm somehow going out of my way. Next time I'm bringing Neal so he and Ellie can play and David is taking Henry and Roland to the arcade. It's a done deal." Reaching out Mary-Margaret take Regina's hand and gives it a soft squeeze. "Besides, it's really nice to see you this happy, this in love. You've waited a long time for this. You deserve to enjoy it."
Regina swallows, smiling in return as Mary-Margaret gives her hand one last squeeze before saying goodnight. Slowly exhaling, she turns to the stairs, swallowing the lump that's formed at the back of her throat.
On most days, she doesn't think about the years and years she spent feeling lonely and forgotten—the years she spent yearning for someone to love, yearning for the comfort of family, yearning for a place where she felt at home, a place where she was at peace, and yearning for the fairytale life she'd once dreamed of having. It's not that she's forgotten those years or that she's ungrateful for the life she now has—in fact, it's just the opposite. On most days her past is such a distant memory, never at the forefront of her mind, and it's easy for her to lose herself in the day-to-day happenings of life that she and Robin share; and, it seems that it would be a waste not to live fully in those moments by dwelling on the past. Then, there are days like this one, days she can't help but think about where she started and where she is now, days when the past blends into the presents, days when she's overwhelmed by it all.
Slowly, she climbs the stairs, stopping in Henry's room and smiling gently when she sees him asleep, a comic book open in his hands. She sits at the edge of his bed, closing the comic and pulling the covers up over him—knowing that he's too old to be tucked in, but unable to stop herself from enjoying the rare chance for him to be her little prince again, even if it is just for a couple of minutes. She stands, tucking the blanket loosely around his shoulders. Leaning in, she kisses his forehead, hovering over him for a moment before turning out the light.
She walks down the hall to Roland's room. He's already tucked in, and the nightlight is on, and Roland is sleeping soundly, just as Mary-Margaret said. She can't help but smile at him as he sleeps with one arm over his head and one leg over the top of his blanket as his body forms an almost-S shape. Carefully, she re-adjusts him, bringing down his arm and pulling the blanket over both legs. Reaching out, she brushes his messy curls from his forehead and kisses his cheek and whispers wishes of sweet dreams.
Finally, she makes her way to the nursery where she finds Robin settled in the glider, holding Ellie against his chest. Her head rests against his shoulder and her eyes are tired, drooping and fluttering as she tries to stay awake. He turns at the sound of Regina's footsteps, smiling gently as she comes into the nursery and sits on the arm of the chair. She rests her head atop Robin's as her fingers twist in Ellie's wispy strawberry-blonde locks.
"She's quite tuckered out," Robin says in a near whisper. "But I think Mary-Margaret was right, I think she missed us because she is very cuddly tonight." Regina grins as she looks down at Ellie's hands, clutching to the fabric of Robin's shirt. "Every time I try to put her down in the crib, she screams."
"She's fighting to stay awake," Regina replies, again sweeping her fingers through Ellie's hair. "I don't mind staying up with her if you want to go shower and get ready for bed."
Robin grins as he looks up at Regina. "Not yet. I just want to hold her for a bit." Regina smiles turning toward him and pressing her lips softly against his temple, letting them linger for a moment before she slides her arm around his shoulders and rests her head against his. "I'm sorry about earlier," he murmurs.
"For what?"
"For saying what I did to Mary-Margaret." He pauses, "It didn't occur to me that she didn't know the significance of her name or that you might not want her to know."
"It's…complicated. But everything between everything about our relationship is complicated," Regina admits with a sigh. "But I'm not upset that you told her."
"Still, it wasn't my place to tell her."
"It would have come out eventually. And you didn't actually tell her anything."
"Well, it wasn't my place to allude to anything."
Regina smiles as Ellie reaches out and grabs onto her fingers, squeezing them tightly as she looks up at her with hooded eyes. "Ma-ma," she says, in a barely audible voice as Regina rubs her thumb against the back of Ellie's hand.
"So, Henry told me that you've been coaching her to say that, to call me 'mama.'"
"Well, in all fairness, I've also been trying to get her to say 'da-da.'" He grins, turning to look up at her. "But that one isn't quite sticking yet. I think she thinks means her stuffed duck, too, which is another issue altogether."
"Henry's first word was 'hi.' He used to sound like a little bird chirping at me all time. He'd just say it again and again and again." She feels a grin tug at the corners of her mouth as she remembers the way Henry's little fingers would open and close over his palm as he attempted to wave—and it always made her smile, the way his face would light up and the way his hand moved slower than words, almost like a delayed reaction, and it was almost always followed by a giggle as she smiled and waved back at him. And in that moment, she couldn't have dreamed there could be anything more precious.
"Roland's first word was 'cat,'" Robin says with a small laugh. "Little John found a stray and took it in, and—well—we all knew who held Roland's heart." He grins up at Regina. "At least Henry's first word could be considered a term of affection toward you."
Regina laughs out and again Ellie's eyes flutter open before promptly sinking closed again. She watches as Ellie's fingers grip tighter to Robin's shirt and she snuggles closer, and from the corner of her eye, she sees a smile form on Robin's lips as he looks down at their daughter as she drifts to sleep.
She continues rubbing her thumb against the back of Ellie's hand, resting her head once more atop Robin's, just watching as he holds Ellie, and she thinks of all the nights they've spent like this, cuddled up together and holding her. Her thoughts begin to wander as she thinks back to those earlier days, filled with tentative touches and soft smiles, the desire to be the girl's mother but the fear that she'd somehow fall short. It all feels so distant, and she can't remember the last time she'd felt that way, the last time those worries had surfaced. Of course, it doesn't matter—she's long past it—but she wonders when those thoughts and feelings passed, when wanting changed to simply being, when something that had seemed so complicated turned into something that felt so natural.
"It doesn't happen very often, but I felt bad for Zelena today." She feels Robin sigh. He doesn't say anything, but he shifts so that he can see her. "I just…I know what she was feeling when Ellie reached for me and called me 'mama'."
"Regina, you are her mother."
"I know, but Zelena is, too."
"There's a difference." His eyes are soft and his shoulders stay relaxed, and he smiles gently. "And Ellie knows that."
"I know and I get that—and I love that." She pauses. "I just…I remember how I felt the first time I heard Henry call Emma his mother. It gutted me and it made me…" She stops and sighs, shaking her head. "I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just…we've worked so hard to keep Ellie out of the crossfire."
"Whether or not Zelena wants to continue to play nice is going to be completely up to her," Robin says, turning himself to look at her. "Regina, we've done everything we can to include her, to let her be a part of Ellie's life. But we can't control her decisions or how she feels or how she reacts to things." Again he offers that kind, gentle smile and his soft eyes look up at her—and as always when he looks at her in this way, she feels her shoulders relax and her own smile begin to form. "I won't feel guilty that Ellie called you 'mama' in the moment that she did—and you shouldn't either. I know your worry is coming from a place of love and I understand why you want to keep Zelena in her life, but Zelena has to want that and she has to accept that we are also a part of Ellie's life." He sighs and glances down at Ellie who is finally sleeping soundly against his chest. Rubbing his hand over her little back, he smiles and then looks back to Regina. "And regardless of the choice Zelena makes, our daughter is going to grow up in a house filled with love. She's going to grow up with two parents who love her, two brothers who'd do anything for her and an entire extended family who adore her and only want what's best for her—and she'll have that because of we made that choice—because you made that choice."
She nods and feels a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth, "I suppose that's a fair point."
Robin chuckles softly. "And I suppose that's as close to 'you're right' as I'll get." He grins. "And I'll take it."
She laughs, leaning into him as his arm slips around her. Her hand brushes against Ellie's back and she turns and drops a kiss against his temple. "I love you. Have I said that lately?"
"I think so—and, in case I haven't said it lately, I love you, too," he murmurs back in reply. He glances down at Ellie and then back at Regina. "I think I can put her down now without her waking up and acting as though I'm torturing her." Robin shifts away from her and stands up, and she slowly slides off the arm of the chair. "Why don't you go turn down the bed while I get her settled—and then we can finally go to sleep." He grins. "I don't know about you, but I am exhausted."
"It's all that fresh air we got," she tells him, leaning up on her toes and dropping a light kiss over his lips.
"Maybe," he muses. "It's been a very long day."
"But a good one," she adds with a smile and a nod.
"A very good one," he confirms as he kisses her back, pecking her lips quickly.
Leaning in, Regina presses her lips to Ellie's forehead and rubs the back of her fingers over her cheek. "Goodnight, Princess," she murmurs softly. "Mama loves you."
When she looks up, Robin is smiling at her and she finds herself easily smiling back. She turns toward the door, turning back once she reaches the threshold. She leans against the frame of the door, watching for a moment as Robin gently places Ellie into her crib. She watches as he reaches down and pulls her favorite blanket up where she can reach it and places her favorite stuffed duck at her side. She can hear him talking to her and though she can't make out the words, she finds herself smiling—smiling because regardless of what the future holds for them, regardless of whatever curve ball life throws at them next, they'll handle it together, as they always do. Because what they have together is worth any fight—because what they have together truly is something beautiful.