Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A massive thank-you to my readers and reviewers.
Dear Voldemort,
I know deep down, very deep down that you love me. You trying to kill me is your way of showing it.
I wish you'd show it in a less homicidal way, maybe buy me a pony or crayons.
I love crayons, I like drawing robots on the walls with them.
Anyway I have to go now, I have visitors here to help drain the water from my room.
Harry Potter your archenemy.
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Dear Harry,
Why are' Padfoot and Remus covered in jam? and muttering he really has lost it?.
Ron.
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Dear Ron,
I had to cover them in jam so the demons that live my wall didn't detect them.
As to why they think I have finally lost it I've no idea why they think that.
Your best friend apart the creepy clown that lives under your bed who is more your best friend than me,Harry.
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Dear Harry,
There is no creepy clown living under my bed and if there was it wouldn't be' my best friend.
Ron.
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Dear Ron,
There is a creepy clown living under your bed, his name is Billy Bob.
He is very hurt that you don't consider him your best friend.
He told the demons in my wall and they told me.
Harry.