Story 4: Something called fate

'Have you ever felt regret for loving me?'

'Do you know that, to be able to meet up once in the current life, two people had to come across each other hundreds times in their previous lives?' Shaka suddenly questioned. He was in his sacred temple, meditating, with his closest friend next to him.

'I don't want to believe it.' Mu answered softly.

'Why?'

'Isn't it a hurtful thing, Shaka?' The young Aries saint paused a bit before continuing. 'If they came across each other a hundred times but none of those times that they could get together, and then they might have to continue their life haunted by the image of someone they could never see again.'

Shaka stayed silent.

'It is, indeed, a hurtful thing.'

Shaka was always the man who stood above everyone. He was at a higher position, looked down at humankind's sorrow and sadness with charity but not with love. A heart filled with unconditional love for all living creatures was what he was lack of. In his mind, love was merely a temporary feeling of mankind, in fact, all emotions and feelings were temporary. A man's lifetime was like a blink of an eye. When we turned back to dust, our emotions also disappeared, like they were never there in the first place.

Being Buddha's reincarnation, he had been through all six paths of rebirth, and he remembered all of his previous lives. Those endless memories affected him in a way that made him almost emotionless. Even if he could keep all the feelings he had had from his last lives, it would still be useless in this life, because the others had already forgotten theirs, and because this life was so different from the previous. Those memories and feelings, either we could keep them or not, would have no use in our current life. Shaka had seen countless people suffering from their own emotions. They loved, they hated, they died because of something that would be lost when they started the next life. All mankind's sins were rooted in their emotions and feelings, which would vanish in a short time of a man's life. How sarcastic. And for that, he chose to abandon his own feelings.

Slowly opened his eyes, the Virgo turned around to look at a certain Aries. He did not hide the fact that he always opened his eyes once or twice whenever the lilac-haired was around. There were things that you wanted to feel with all your senses, and to Shaka, Mu was one of those, or should he say, Mu had always been one. Shaka had always been searching, craving, longing for the other boy, always, in all of their previous lives. But no matter what he had done, no matter how many hardships they had overcome together, happiness and sorrow, when they started a new life, the other would forget it all, and he had to start over again. This endless circle kept repeating, like an eternal punishment that he had to endure to salve mankind.

Closed his eyes again, Shaka could feel the images of their past lives crossing his mind. He sighed helplessly.

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The Aries Cloth Blacksmith stared blankly at the just-repaired Virgo Golden Cloth. He reached out his long and delicate fingers to touch the Cloth, each part of it, with slow and careful motions.

'These are the shoulders.' He murmured to himself.

'These are the arms.'

'These are the legs.'

'And this is the chest.'

He caressed it so dearly, in the way that he wanted to caress its owner. Every detail of the armor was breathtakingly beautiful, strong yet so noble and refined. It was perfectly fit not only to Shaka's body but also to his character, just like it was made only for him to wear. Mu trembled at the thought of how this Cloth was close to Shaka's bare skin. That was a contact that he might never experience in his life.

As a Gold Saint of Athena, he could die at anytime. Mankind's wars were already cruel enough, the Holy Wars were hundreds times more devastating. All the Saints had to sacrifice their youth, strength and even their own will to fight against the evil. It was an honor and it was also a curse. Ever since Mu was seven, when he officially became a Gold Saint, he had no fear of death. If just sacrificing his life could bring peace to the world then it would certainly be a cheap price. But right then, he was thinking of how he didn't want to die. No, Mu was not scared of death. What he was scared of were the things that he might leave behind when he was dead. He had not had enough of this life, had he? There still was something that he desired so fiercely and that was the reason he did not want to leave this life yet.

'How silly of me, I had sworn allegiance to the Goddess.' Mu smiled sadly, blamed himself for his selfish thoughts. He had sworn to devote himself to Athena and still he kept something for his own will. It was a sin, in every perspective.

The sun lights reflected by the Golden Cloth hurt Mu's eyes, pulled him out of his own thoughts. A week ago, Shaka had asked him to repair his Cloth, Mu had promised that the work would be done within a week, and this afternoon, he would have to return it to Shaka. The Aries gazed at the Cloth again, that was so rare of the Virgo to come to his temple and ask him a favor. He wondered if that would ever happen again.

'Starlight Extinction!'

Mu gathered all his strength to attack the Cloth and successfully damaged it. He then looked around for his tools, began the repairing work all over again.

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'May I come in?' A familiar voice echoed, the voice that Mu swore he could never forget regardless of what might happen.

'Yes' Mu smiled. 'It has been a long time since your last visit.'

'It has, and I can see your temple hasn't changed so much since then.'

'You haven't even opened your eyes to see it.'

'Indeed. But I don't need my eyes to feel it.' Shaka replied calmly. 'And its guardian.'

Mu did not say anything in response to Shaka's words. Instead, he changed the subject.

'I'm sorry. I haven't finished repairing your Cloth yet.' He admitted, suddenly felt guilty.

'It's okay. You have many things to deal with, not just the repairing work. Take your time.'

Shaka's reply made Mu feel even guiltier. Swallowed all the guilty feelings, he asked

'Do you want to stay for a cup of tea?'

'Sounds nice enough.'

Poured another cup for Shaka, Mu secretly observed the blonde saint. He actually felt grateful that Shaka did not usually open his eyes. If the Virgo caught Mu staring at him like that, it would be embarrassing like hell. He actually preferred seeing Shaka with his beautiful blue eyes opened, but having a secret observation at a close distance like this was not a bad idea either.

'Is there something weird on my face, Mu?' Shaka suddenly asked.

'Hah, what the-, no, nothing.' Mu felt like digging a hole and jump into it. Seriously, did Shaka have a third eye or something?

The Virgo opened his eyes and turned to his confused friend. 'I must admit' He chuckled. 'That seeing you blush is quite a hobby of mine.'

Mu was unable to say anything, he felt like a fat kid being caught while trying to steal a cake. The two fell into silence for a while, with Mu kept looking at his feet and Shaka watched him with amusement. Then, suddenly Mu asked.

'Neh, Shaka ...' His voice was weak. 'Do you think two lovers in their current life were also lovers in their previous life?'

Mu's out of the blue question made Shaka speechless for a while. But then he replied. 'Why did you bring in such topic?'

'If two people had to come across each other hundreds time in the previous lives just to be able to meet up once in their current life, then I wonder what had been done between two people in the past to make them a couple in the present.' Mu poured out. He could feel his heart beating rapidly, but still, his voice was calm and soft.

Shaka turned around, refused to look into Mu's eyes. 'It doesn't matter whatever they had done in the past. They couldn't remember it anyways.'

'But according to you, it does affect their current life.'

'It just left a question for them to find the answer, a clueless task that they may have to spend their life solving it. But in the end, the result just vanishes away when they're dead, making their effort come back to zero.'

'You think that effort is a waste, Shaka?' Mu questioned softly. He moved around to face Shaka, but the other just avoided his look again.

'What else could it be? A man's lifetime is too short for him to enjoy fully his achievement and the after death is too long for him to suffer from regrets. Even if he comes back to life again, in his new life there will be nothing for him to enjoy anymore, everything was gone, leaving him either empty or sorrowful.' Shaka sighed bitterly. Mu's questions were like a knife stab right through his heart, reminding him of all his sorrow and frustration, which he had been struggling to hide.

For several moments, neither Mu nor Shaka moved an inch or said a word. Just when Shaka stood up and tended to head back to his temple, he felt soft hands slowly approached him. Mu embraced Shaka gently from behind, rested his head onto the other's firm shoulder. He spoke in a dulcet tone of voice.

'You know, Shaka. Even if a man has to spend an eternity in hell in exchange of a lifetime to be with his loved one, I'm sure that's what he will do, voluntarily, with no regret.'

Mu released Shaka from his embrace, reached his hand to turn the blond's face to look directly at his. 'Say, Shaka' He caressed the other man's cheek. 'Do you think the same? Do you think that his partner feel the same?'

Shaka pulled Mu into a tight embrace. He felt Mu's heart beating at the side of his right chest. He was complete. Oh Goddess, how he wished this moment to last forever.

'But that man will still come back to life. It's easy if he can start a new life without remembering anything. But, what about his partner? What if his partner couldn't forget their memories and had to be reborn with all those painful feelings, then desperately searched for his long lost love?' he whispered.

Mu reached out his right hand to caress Shaka's golden hair and held tightly to the Virgo's neck with the other left. 'That's surely hurtful. But-' He whispered back. '-even if that man can't remember anything, there will be one thing that he is so sure of, that he will fall in love with his partner again and again, no matter how many times he reincarnates.'

With that, Mu moved back a little and then closed the distance between their lips. Electric currents ran down their spines at once. That was the touch they had always longed for. Shaka could feel the wall he had built up around his heart start crumbling. That was their first kiss in this life and it tasted as sweet as all the kisses they had shared before. Mu's gentleness and delicacy, along with his love for him were also the same. They hadn't changed and wouldn't ever change. Their love challenged the eternity of life.

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'Have I ever felt regret? Never have and never will do.'

Author's note: About Buddha can remember all his reincarnations and that he had been with the same partner in many of his previous lives, these are actually true facts. Since Buddhism is the largest religion in Tibet, Mu should know these facts too. That's why he understood what Shaka meant when he first questioned him about the previous lives.

At the end, I made them talk in the third person because I don't think it will suit them if they just go directly 'I love you. Do you love me?' So if that part is a bit too confusing then forgive my poorly chosen languages.

Thank you so much for your support. See you in the next chapter.