Thanks everyone!

I've been reading all your reviews. I'm so honored! Thank you so much for your wonderful compliments :').

Don't you guys worry. Happytimes (and sexytimes :x) are coming eventually. I love my Finn and Rachel too much for them to be miserable forever. Hopefully this chapter (while emotional) gives some more insight as to what happened to them. Because the first step of reconciling is knowing what happened in the first place! ;)

Keep reviewing! I'll keep updating!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee or the characters. If I did, I'd probably be an awesome dancer like HeMo or a baller singer like Lea. Onward!

CHAPTER 4: Something missing

Rachel was a pool of emotion as she re-entered the house. Her blood was bubbling in anger at Finn's words and his betrayal. Meanwhile, she felt like her heart was shriveling up with each ticking second. It was always the same argument with them. Even before she left. All they would do was lay the blame on this or that, but they'd always dance around the issue that was the real elephant in the room. Rachel never wanted to talk about it.

Fishing her iPod out of her bag, she put the earphones in her ear. She scrolled to her playlist full of selections from various musicals and pressed play. Rachel closed her eyes and let Barbara's voice fill her eardrums. She tried to drown out her thoughts before they had a chance to surface.

But it was to no avail.

Each song that played in her ears was like her own personal reminder of her life in the past.

When songs from Phantom of the Opera began to surface, she thought of the time she and Finn went to see it together in Cleveland, which was a surprise for her 20th birthday. When the voice of Elphaba from Wicked began to flood her ears, she was reminded on a deeper level how no good deed goes unpunished. Finn was a representation of that. No matter how much she tried to protect him—or herself—from the pain the world had caused them, they still fell apart.

Concluding that silence was probably better, Rachel shut off her music. She changed into her nightgown slowly, taking her time before she had to exit the safe haven of the bedroom to walk in the open to the guest bathroom. When she had gathered all of her things, she snuck out quietly.

Rachel could hear the TV—ESPN no doubt—as she crept into the bathroom. The last thing she wanted was for Finn to hear her. She had enough contact with him for one day.

Rachel unloaded her things out of her cosmetic bag and washed her face. She then moved on to brushing her teeth, making the motions slowly. As she began to get lost in another strand of thoughts, she started shifting things around in her bag, stopping abruptly when she came across a small, yellow compact. She lifted it slowly, the tiny pills making noise against the foil in her unsteady hand.

Staring at the package, her eyebrows creased as her string of thoughts faded into one particular memory…

. . .

Rachel paced the small space in the dining room, waiting for Finn to come home. She had left her job at the community theater early, telling them she had an appointment she needed to go to. Really she just needed to come home and talk to her husband, but she wasn't quite sure how to tell him the news. She wasn't sure how he would take it…

In order to calm her nerves before he arrived, Rachel made dinner. Carefully whipping up Carole Hudson's recipe for spaghetti sauce—Finn's favorite—Rachel rehearsed what she was going to say in her head. She'd freeze once she got halfway through, imagining Finn being furious. Or worse, too upset to speak.

When Finn arrived home, he walked over to his wife and greeted her with a kiss.

"You're home early," he remarked, pleased. "And you made dinner? Awesome. I'm starving."

Rachel smiled as a response and the two sat down to eat.

Throughout dinner, Rachel's heart was palpitating at an incredulous speed. Finn talked about his day, mainly about how his boss said that he had a real promising shot at becoming Assistant General Manager of the dealership.

"Rach," Finn said. "Do you know what that means? I'd be making 70 or 80 thousand, easy. We could move. Somewhere nicer, bigger."

"I like our house," Rachel said as she thoughtfully sipped on her glass of water, her thoughts mostly preoccupied.

"Well, I do too," Finn replied. "But we can't live here forever…later on, when we have kids and stuff, it's going to be way too small."

"Later on?" Rachel squeaked, her attention finally completely focused.

Finn shrugged nonchalantly as he stuffed another forkful of spaghetti in his mouth.

"Finn?"

Finn looked up from his dinner plate. Looking at Rachel, he noticed her eyes were brimmed with tears. He wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Rachel? What's wrong?"

"I'm um…I'm pregnant," Rachel stuttered after a minute of silence. "And I know that it's really soon, even though we've been married for almost two years, but I mean…I'm barely 22. And I know with everything that happened with Quinn and babygate and all in high school, you're probably not ready for this. And I'm so sorry. I should have been more careful. I stopped using contraception but I didn't think that—"

"You're pregnant?" Finn interrupted.

Rachel stopped.

"Yeah, I am. You must be furious with me…"

Finn looked incredulous.

"Furious? Why would I be furious? Rachel, this is…this is amazing."

Rachel dropped her fork on her plate with a loud clang.

"Amazing?" She asked.

"Yes! I'm so happy! Aren't you?"

Rachel's mouth dropped.

"Well, yes I'm happy. But you just said you wanted kids 'later on'. This is definitely not later on. I thought that you would be mad…"

"Rachel!" Finn exclaimed. He got up out of his chair and squatted on the ground, turning Rachel to face him in her seat. He cupped her hands in his. "I'm not mad, I'm ecstatic. We're going to have a family!"

A small, confused smiled tugged at Rachel's lips. She didn't say anything.

"Baby, did you really think that I would be upset?"

"Well, yeah," Rachel said thoughtfully. "You know, with Quinn and everything. I mean, I know we're married, but we're still pretty young, Finn."

"Rachel, there's a big difference between you being pregnant and Quinn being pregnant."

Rachel stared at him, imploring him to continue. Finn smiled.

"I was never in love with Quinn," he said simply. "And it wasn't my baby. This…this baby is ours. It's a piece of you and a piece of me. I can't believe it. Nothing can describe how happy I am right now."

Rachel's chocolate eyes began to well up at his words. Finn returned the gesture, his eyes becoming moist with tears as well. Rachel thought it couldn't be possible after their wedding day, but she never loved Finn more than she did in this moment. Every bit of apprehension she had seemed to vanish instantly.

"Finn Hudson, you are and always will be the love of my life."

Finn smiled and leaned in to kiss her lips. Rachel kissed him back with vigor, her heart feeling like it may explode at any moment. It seemed as though his kiss made her feel butterflies right down to her toes. As she kissed him, her hands exchanged positions with his and she moved them to her abdomen.

Finn broke off from their kiss and looked down at her belly. He leaned over and kissed it.

"I love you," he said quietly to her stomach. The gesture made Rachel's tears spill over her eyes and on to her cheeks. She laughed. Finn lifted his head to look at her. "And I love you," he said, staring into her eyes.

Rachel smiled and adoringly stroked his cheek, her thumb lingering on each of his prominent freckles.

"But you know what this means, right?" Finn asked playfully before leaning in to kiss his wife again. "You are going to have to let me buy us a bigger house."

. . .

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to block the tears that seemed insistent upon coming. Absently, she reached to stroke her abdomen over her flowy pink nightgown, her heart breaking over the emptiness below it. Looking up into the bathroom mirror, she couldn't help but let out a small sob, followed continuously by other ones. Rachel broke down, letting her head fall slightly in defeat. She turned on the faucet to drown out the sounds so Finn couldn't hear from the living room.

After a few moments, Rachel tried to staunch the flow of salty tears. She took deep breaths through her nose, holding them, before exhaling through her mouth—a technique her therapist once taught her in high school. After a few minutes, she was able to stop completely.

Wiping her eyes, she looked down at the small yellow compact she was holding in her hands once more. She considered tossing it in the garbage, but instead, flipped it open and popped out the tiny pill.

She put it in her mouth and flushed it down with a handful of water before returning to the bedroom.

Sad days :( at least we got some fluff! We know they're capable of loving each other wholeheartedly.

I hate making my Rachel so sad. Boo. *sigh* What writers will do for their art...

Thanks again for reading! Until next time!

xoxo