Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.

We were standing in the middle of my room, In a warm embrace in complete silence, I had nothing to say because I was beyond happy that I finally got to have my first dance with Eli.

"Are you hungry?" Eli asked.

He must of heard my tummy grumbling.

I broke away from our embrace and smiled. "Yeah, A little bit."

"What do you feel like eating?"

"I don't know, Lets go see what's in my kitchen." I said grabbing his hand as I led him downstairs into the kitchen.

I started looking through my fridge and I could see out of the corner of my eye Eli was looking through one of my cabinets.

I grabbed last nights left over meat loaf and sat it on the counter. I was about to go to the cupboard and get two plates when I heard Eli laughing.

"What?" I asked walking over to him.

He held up a can of Dora chicken noodle soup. "Really Clare? Dora soup." He laughed again.

I felt my cheeks turn red. "I didn't pick it out, My mom bought it cause it was on sale."

He rolled his eyes and amusement lit up his sparkling green orbs. "Don't worry, If you like Dora and don't want anyone to know, your secret is safe with me."

I glared at him and was about to respond when the phone rang I jumped a little and quickly ran over to the table the phone was on.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Clare?" I heard my mothers soft voice from the other end of the line.

"Oh, uhm, hi mom." I started to panic a little, what if she some how knew Eli was in our house.

"Hi sweety, How is everything?"

"Good. I was just about to heat up some meat loaf and read twilight."

I looked over at Eli and he had a hand over his mouth muffling his laughter, I rolled my eyes.

"Oh okay, Well make sure you remember to lock the doors and turn off the porch light before you go to bed."

I smiled. "I wont mom, how are things with you and dad?"

"Great, Were having a lot of fun. I'll call you tomorrow before we leave."

"Alright."

"Bye Clare, I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

I hung up the phone and walked back over to the kitchen where Eli was still standing.

"Clare, Relax." He said putting his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him.

"I am." I lied, I was freaking out. My parents were out having a good time, and totally oblivious to the fact that their daughter had a boy in their house while they were not home.

"No your not. Your about to bite your lip off." He said as he lightly touched his thumb to my bottom lip.

I hadn't even realized I had been gnawing on my lip for the past few minutes and stopped.

"Okay, Maybe I'm not. Its just that I kind of feel like a bad person."

He looked confused and laughed. "How could you ever be a bad person?"

I ignored his insult and continued. "Its just that my parents trust me, And I'm totally going against their rules by having you stay the night."

His lips twisted up into a smile. "Clare, If you think about it, There's nothing to feel bad about, What are we doing that's so wrong?"

I pursed my lips and tried to think of a good argument but I had nothing, There really wasn't anything wrong with us being home alone together. "I guess your right."

"Aren't I always?" He mused.

I laughed. "No, your just too smug."

"Actually, Clare bear, Its called confidence."

I rolled my eyes, I hated when he called me that. "Will you please stop calling me that?"

"Of course I will, Silvia Plath."

I smiled, He was always finding a way to get under my skin, I either wanted to kiss him or hit him over the head with a brick, usually it was both.

"Alright." I said walking over to the meat loaf. "Would you like some meat loaf Ted Hughes?"

"Loafed meat? Sounds delicious."

I laughed. "Of course it is, I made it."

I walked over to the microwave and put the two plates of meat loaf in and set the timer. I turned around and I ran right into Eli, I didn't realize he was so close and he caught me right before my head hit the counter behind me.

"Clare." He sighed putting his arms around me. "What am I going to do with you?"

He was too close for me to think properly, I blinked rapidly. "I, Uhm, I don't know. Your too close for me to think straight." My jaw dropped, Did I just say that out loud? Oh my god-excuse me lord-gosh, He pulled back to look at me, confusion being his dominant feature. I started to get nervous until the microwave beeped and I was saved, or so I thought.

I turned around to get the meat loaf out of the microwave, I reached up to open the microwave door when Eli lightly grabbed my wrist and spun me around so I was facing him.

"What do you mean I was too close for you to think straight?" He dead panned.

I started unconsciously gnawing on my bottom lip again while I racked my brain for a non humiliating answer.

"Your biting your lip? You only do that when your nervous. Hmm."

I instantly stopped biting my lip. "Its just that you were closer than I thought you were, That's all."

He bent his head down lower so he could look me straight in the eyes. I thought he was going to let it go but he suddenly stepped forward with a wicked glint in his eyes, and I took a step back.

"Clare, Do I give you butterflies?" He asked with a devilish grin.

"No." I hesitated "You were just too close, I already told you."

He stepped closer again, and just like last time I stepped back, except this time I backed right into the counter. Dammit. "You're a horrible liar Plath."

I thought for a second and in the spur of the moment I tried to turn so I could escape but he put both hands on either side of the counter trapping me between his arms.

"All you have to do is answer the question, Then I'll let you go."

I glared at him for a moment and exhaled loudly in irritation. "Okay, Yes, You give me butterflies, Tons and tons of butterflies, and when you kiss me its like a butterfly volcano erupts in my stomach. Happy, Hughes?" By the time I was done talking my cheeks were hot and probably redder than a tomato.

He chuckled softly. "Extremely." and leaned in to lightly press his lips to mine.

"Did a butterfly volcano erupt?" He asked with a smug smile.

I glared at him and pursed my lips before answering. "Nope."

He shook his head and leaned in again making the kiss a little longer than the last.

"What about now?" He asked.

I laughed. "Yeah."

"How bad was it?"

"Almost as bad as when Mount Saint Helens erupted."

"Wow." He made his eyes widen in fake shock. "If Mount Saint Helens erupts when I kiss you that lightly I can only imagine what will happen when I do this."

"Wh-" I started to ask but was immediately cut off by Eli pushing me against the counter, kissing me again. He didn't stop until I pulled away for air.

He raised an eyebrow. "What happened then?"

"Well…My heart skipped a few beats." I said breathlessly as I put a hand over my heart, Eli's face had the most irritating expression, It was both smug and devilish, I was having one of those I-want-to-hit-him-with-a-brick moments.

"Are you done humiliating me? Cause I would like to get our dinner out of the microwave."

"Yeah, Just one more thing."

I groaned. "Okay, get it over with."

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "You give me butterflies too."

I looked up at him. "I do?"

He nodded.

It was my turn to have a smug smile. "That's weird. I wouldn't think of you as someone that got butterflies."

"I didn't think so either, Until I met you."

"You know, Eli. That's pretty cheesy."

"I know, I wasn't cheesy until I met you either."

"When did I start giving you butterflies?" I asked him, Taking the meatloaf out of the microwave and sitting the plates on the kitchen table. I pulled out a chair to sit in and he did the same.

"Well, When I first met you I had this weird feeling in my stomach like I was going to puke rainbows or something."

I laughed. "Sorry, But I have no idea what that feeling is called."

He was quiet for a few seconds and his features softened. "I believe its called love."

I couldn't help but smile, a huge, happy smile.

"What did you do after you found out that I gave you butterflies?" I asked softly.

"I didn't know it was butterflies till the second time I saw you, At first I thought I was like getting sick or something, Then Ms. Dawes assigned us as English partners and we skipped school, and the whole time my palms were all sweaty and I couldn't think straight."

I smiled at the memory, I had the same problem. "Can you think straight now?"

"Yes, its gotten a lot easier to function around you over time." He said with sarcasm.

I continued eating my meatloaf, but a question I wanted to ask Eli was constantly running through my head and curiosity got the best of me.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked nervously.

His brow furrowed at my tone. "Yeah…Why do you look so nervous?"

"It's just might be hard for you to answer…"

"Just ask me, If I cant answer it, I wont."

I took a deep breath. "What was Julia like?" I asked cautiously. I stared at his face for a moment, Waiting for his features to sadden, but they didn't a small smile formed on his lips.

"Well." He sighed. "She was stubborn, smart, and nothing could make her unhappy, I never saw her without a smile on her face. "

I smiled. "What did she look like?"

"She liked to wear bright clothes, She was pretty short, She had green eyes, And She had long black hair, she hated when I moved her hair out of her face." He chuckled.

"Thank you for telling me about her."

"Your welcome, It's easier to talk about her now, It used to be hard to even think her about her."

The smile I had instantly fell.

"Clare." He whispered, And cupped my cheek with his hand. "I didn't mean to make you sad, Do you know why its easier for me to talk about her now?"

I looked at him confused and nodded.

"I found you, I never thought I would find someone that I could love again, But I did, And I'm happy."

I put my hand over his hand that was on my cheek. "When did you find out you loved her?"

"Well, I'm not sure, Sometime after I met her, I never actually told her I loved her, She knew I did, But I never told her."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath, And thought for a moment. "I think the way we loved each other was different, It was more like we were friends that thought we belonged together but actually didn't, I think we probably would have ended up just being friends eventually."

"Oh, Was she your best friend before you became a couple?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Is that all you wanted to ask me?"

"No, But if the questions bother you, Don't answer them, okay?"

"They wont bother me, Shoot."

"Why do you write to her?"

He smiled. "When she died, It was so unexpected, I didn't get to tell her the things I wanted to, So I started writing to her, I don't write everyday anymore, Usually just once or twice a week, But it just helps me, I guess."

"What do you write to her about?"

"Well, For a while I would just tell her about my day and how much I missed her, Then I met you and suddenly everything I wrote about involved you."

I laughed. "What do you say about me?"

He laughed. "Everything, I tell her about how stubborn you are, Your smile, Your eyes, How much fun we have together, How you hate getting grades lower than an A, And that I've never been happier."

"Never?" I asked with a slight smile.

"Never." He reassured me.

I got up and put my plate in the dishwasher and Eli did the same.

"What now?" I asked.

"Uh, Another movie?"

"Sure, But this time, I'm picking it."

"Fine, Nothing sappy."

I smiled to myself as I walked over to the DVD shelf and grabbed a movie, I popped it into the DVD player and sat down on the couch.

Eli sat down, put his arm around me and pulled me closer and waited patiently for the movie to begin, When he saw the beginning of the movie he looked down at me.

"Oh." He said quietly.

"What? "

"This really isn't a sappy movie."

"You've seen it?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah, Its pretty good." He said casually and returned his attention to the TV.

"Really?" I asked skeptically, I wanted to make sure he wasn't just making fun of me "What is the name of it?"

"P.S. I love you." He said in an obvious tone.

My eyes widened. "I cant believe you've seen this."

"Why not?" He laughed.

"Your favorite movie is saw…I put on a totally sad and romantic movie and you casually say you've seen it and not only that, but you think its good?"

"Just because my favorite movie is saw doesn't mean I cant like other movies."

"That's true, But I never thought you would be someone that liked a movie like this."

"How could I not? Her husband dies and while on his death bed he plans out his wife's future to help her move on and be happy again."

"Did you cry when you first saw it?"

"No." He laughed.

"Oh."

"Is it really that weird to you?"

"No, I guess not. It just was kind of a shocker."

"Wow, I can shock you and give you butterflies, All in the same night?

I laughed. "Does this mean we can watch more sappy movies together now?"

"No way."

"Why?"

"First of all, This isn't a sappy movie, and second, I don't want you to have the option of making me watch the notebook."

"What about Romeo and Juliet?"

He pursed his lips. "I guess that's okay, I like Shakespeare."

"Good. So on our next sleep over were watching Romeo and Juliet instead of Saw two."

"Whatever you say Plath."

"Can I ask you another question about Julia?" I asked after a few minutes of watching the movie.

"Sure." He adjusted his position so he was looking at me.

"Okay." I took a deep breath again. "Did you ever…" I started.

He raised an eye brow. "Did we ever what?"

I exhaled irritably, It would be so much easier if he would just catch on, I'm so afraid of asking this question, What if I don't like the answer? But its been going through my head all day. "Did you ever…have…sex?" I whispered the last part.

His eyes widened a little bit and his brow furrowed. "Uh…"

My palms started sweating and I started panicking, oh my god, they have. "You Don't have to answer that." I said taking in a shaky breath. I know it was stupid to panic if he wasn't a virgin, It shouldn't be a big deal.

"No, It's not that I don't want to answer it." He laughed. "its just not a question I thought you would ask."

"Oh." I smiled. patiently, waiting for him to continue.

"No, We didn't."

"Never?" I asked.

He reached forward to put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "Never." He whispered in my ear.

I tried to hold back a smile. "Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious…"

"Hmm. Have you ever?"

My eyes widened in shock. "Of course not, I have a purity ring."

"Oh yes." He said twirling my purity ring around my finger. "Pure hearts wait."

"Yeah." I said nervously.

"Why are you acting so nervous?"

"I have no idea. Its just weird talking about this kind of stuff with you."

His expression changed to fake shock "Why?" he asked leaning closer "Does Clare bear have impure thoughts?"

"No, I don't." I said, taking note that he was too close for me to think straight, he was definitely taking advantage of the affect he had on me, I looked around suddenly finding the coffee table interesting.

"I don't believe you."

I rolled my eyes and looked up to glare at him. "Find. Don't believe me. It doesn't matter."

"Yeah, It does, I'm curious."

"Ugh, Eli. We are not having this conversation."

"Fine." He stated holding his hands up in surrender.

"Thank you." I said before looking at the clock, It read 12:40.

"I'm getting tired." I said to Eli as I got up.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"Yeah, kind of, and I'm dying to know what your pajamas look like." I said grabbing his hand and pulling him off the couch.

"Seriously?" He laughed. "What do you think they look like?"

I started walking towards the stairs with him. "Uhm, I don't know, You could prove me wrong about the whole goth guy thing and they could be sponge bob."

He started laughing again. "Well, I hate to burst your bubble, But I just wear sweats and a t-shirt.."

"Oh." I said with a frown on my face.

"Disappointed?"

"Yeah, A little."

"What do you wear as pajamas?"

"Do you have any guesses?" I asked opening my bedroom door and letting go of his hand so I could go to my dresser.

"No, I think I will just wait and see."

"Okay." I dug through my pajama drawer till I found my silky pajamas that had were white and had little black hearts all over them.

"I'll be right back." I said walking towards the bathroom.

"Hurry." He said laying on my bed.

I rolled my eyes. "I will be so fast you wont even realize I changed."

I quietly closed the bathroom door and got dressed I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair before I went back to my room. I went in and Eli was still laying in the same spot looking up at the ceiling, except this time he had his sweats and a t-shirt on. How did he know I wouldn't come in on him changing. I tried to get the image of that happening out of my head as I walked over to him. I internally groaned. He looked even cuter in sweats, it was so un Eli like. But at the same time it suits him.

He moved his arm so I could lay down next to him. "How did you change so fast? What if I walked in."

"Well, that would have been weird, But I know that would have never happened."

"How so?" I asked.

He turned on his side and lightly put his arm around me, resting his hand on the small of my back. "Because, Whenever girls go into the bathroom they take an unnecessary amount of time, they have to re do their makeup, or brush their hair. Seriously, You guys even go in together. It's so weird."

"Sorry, Its where we gossip and make ourselves look good."

"Who do you have to look good for?"

I gave him a knowing look. "I don't know, Our boyfriends, Everyone."

"Why? You look beautiful no matter what."

"That's pretty cheesy." I said cuddling into his chest.

"Cheesy? maybe. True? One hundred percent."

I smiled into his shirt. "Thanks."

"Your welcome." He murmured, softly stroking my hair.

This made my eye lids heavy and I started to doze off, But before I could fall asleep, I remembered something.

"Eli?" I asked

"Yeah?"

"I love you." for the first time, I was the one to say it first.

I looked up at him and he smiled. "Good, Cause I love you." He said kissing my forehead.

My heart beat a little faster at the softness in his words.

I closed my eyes again and nestled back into his chest as his arms tightened around me, And in that moment it was perfect, I could hear the crickets outside, Eli's quiet breathing, and the aura was peaceful. I smiled softly before letting the night take over...