I'm afraid its going to get bad for John and Vera before it gets even worse. Sorry, but Bates will be put through the ringer in this. He's a strong young man, but ultimately something will happen to finally break him... This Chapter is the beginning of that fall.

Warning contains some cruel reactions to a rape. Apologize in advance if it upsets anyone. You can just read below the line if you think it might upset you

John and Vera belong to Julian Fellowes, Carnival, and ITV.

Vera slowly sank to her knees. This time when John tried to place his hand on her shoulder she shrank away from his touch. "I n-need to tell you, this… You…you… must listen to me, John." Vera choked the last words out, unwilling to look up at her husband.

He lowered himself to the ground so his face was at the same level as his wife's. John's voice trembled as he replied. "Go ahead Vera… I'm listening." He struggled with his control, trying to sound calm, when in truth he wanted to break something or someone.

As the silence continued to grow between them, John couldn't stop his mind from questioning what Vera had told him, wondering what she could possibly say next, imagining any number of truths or perhaps lies Vera was about to tell him. Would he have to decipher which spoken explanations were which? But why would she lie about an attack? What more could she say? Why hadn't she told his parents what happened? Again, why hadn't she told him?

"Vera, I'm listening." John repeated. He felt he had to break the silence with a reminder that he was still waiting for her to speak.

She gave a deep sigh before finally addressing her husband. "The man… the attack… It wasn't...", and with that Vera began to sob, unable to choke out anymore words.

"Wasn't what?" John heard his voice rise with an edge to it and get louder. As soon as he uttered the words, he regretted the sharpness, as he saw Vera shrink further into herself.

"Never mind," she whispered so softly that John wasn't sure he heard correctly.

"Vera, did you say 'never mind'? His voice was getting louder and louder again. "You cannot say to me 'Never mind'." His voice continued to rise in volume. "I must know... You've got to tell me everything. I don't know if I can go on with you…with us. I don't know what to think. Tell me so I'll know what to think… So I'll know what to do…?" The last sentence sounded like a plea, as Bates tried to regain his composure.

Vera heard the desperation in his voice. She took in a shuddering breath and began to speak softly…slowly…Her voice barely above a whisper.

"John, It..it wasn't only the one time. It…it didn't just happen once." John saw her bite her lip as her eyes desperately sought his, wanting to see his reaction…

As soon as she told him, Vera began to doubt it had been the right thing to do.

He's not going to understand, she panicked. No, of course he won't. He'll need and want to know more. And she knew she could not give him that final piece of information. Couldn't be honest and tell him all of the vile truth. She knew the real truth would destroy him and shatter what was left of their marriage. Maybe someday she'd tell him, but not now. He can't know now.

Upon hearing her admission, John turned his head away from Vera. He felt as if all the breath had been sucked out of his body. "…didn't just happen once." The words were indecipherable, like Vera had just spoken in some ancient foreign tongue. Had he just heard her correctly? "…More than once?" The words rattled around in his brain. How could she let it happen more than once? Wouldn't the neighbors have noticed an unknown and uninvited male figure entering or exiting the house when his wife was alone? And where were his mother and father? They had agreed to watch over her in his absence.

Slowly, like the silent, serpentine movement of a snake traveling along the high grass, a terrible thought slithered across Bates' mind.

Maybe Vera had enjoyed it. Maybe she invited the villain back…She must have fallen in love with her assailant. John's mind continued to spin a sordid tale that played to all his fears. She wants to leave him… she wanted him to divorce her…

"John…John…" Bates could hear Vera's voice calling out to him, sounding so far away even though he could see her face before him.

"What?" John spat out. He'd moved quickly on, past shock and denial to anger. His brain was on overload trying so hard to process everything his wife had just told him. Was Vera a victim, a saint or a sinner? He didn't know what to think. The question still begging an answer was why she hadn't told someone. And surely his parents would have helped her.

John tried to calm his mind down and focus on what his wife was trying to say. Maybe she's going to explain more. "Calm down, John," he thought to himself. "You've got to calm down and listen to what your wife is saying to you. You owe her that at least. "

John rose from off the floor like the weight of a thousand bricks were weighing down upon him. He offered his hand to Vera and helped her stand up so she was facing him, bringing her face just inches from his.

God he could smell her scent. She was so close. He wanted to hold her and kiss her. That had been the original plan… But now, after what he'd been told he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He felt Vera move closer to him.

Looking into her eyes, John could see the tears start to well up again. Her pupils enlarged so there was just a thin circle of grey on the outer edges. John held her away from his body. His hands encircled around her wrists at chest level, preventing her from getting any closer.

He looked down at Vera, not sure what his feelings were, how he should react. He prayed that the next words out of his wife's mouth would make it all clear to him. And he was right, because when she spoke, he knew what he had to do.

"I'm pregnant, John. I saw the doctor last week. I'm four months along."

Before she could say anything more, John forcefully released her hands and took several quick steps backwards. Vera stumbled forward not expecting him to pull away so violently. Her eyes briefly flashed anger towards her husband at her near fall. When she regained her footing she looked up and saw the shocked and shaken look upon John's face. He looked her up and down and then focused on her belly. She instinctively placed her hands over the area he was looking at, as if she needed to shield the growing fetus from John's penetrating stare.

Time stood still for just a few moments. And then without another word John turned and headed towards the front door. His hand was on the latch when he heard Vera's plea to turn around and come back. All John could do was shake his head no and proceed out into the street.

Vera swiftly moved towards the door. "John, please… come back. Talk to me. I need you. I need your help." But her words fell on deaf ears. By the time she reached the front step, she could see John striding purposefully towards the village. She wondered if she'd ever see him again.