Author's Note: You guys are the most amazing, sweetest people seriously. Thank you so much for the follows, faves and reviews. I'm overwhelmed by your kindness. I hope you are enjoying the directions this takes. I never intended this to be a multiple chapter story with an actual plot, but sometimes writing itself seems just to take over, so I hope you don't mind this growing beyond just focusing on the romance...which of course will be still the main focus.

Reviews are as always welcome :)

Disclaimer: Not owning anything, I do. As Yoda would say.

Chapter 4

This World keeps spinning faster

Into a new disaster so I run to you

I run to you

When it all starts coming undone

Baby, you're the only one I run to

I Run To You, Lady Antebellum

Leia studied Luke's appearance. He looked exactly the same as he had when she had last seen him. He was so real, except that flickering blue light surrounding him. She had to remind herself he was a ghost, a fragment of the Force and that the brother she loved so dearly hadn't truly returned to her.

"Have you seen our father?" She asked after a while.

He smiled briefly. "I have. We had quite a few interesting conversations." He said ominously and Leia knew he wasn't going to share whatever the content of their talks had been.

She bit her lip. A childish thought crossed her mind, something she believed she had overcome a long time ago. "Why does he never show himself to me?" Bail Organa was the father she grew up with and loved dearly, yet Anakin Skywalker always remained a fascination to her.

"He said it wasn't the time yet." And with that she knew the conversation on that topic was closed. They had more important matters to discuss anyways. "Leia, I'm sorry." He said after a while with a heavy heart.

She shook her head. "I told you before not to apologize. You only did what –"

"No." He interrupted her. "Hear me out on this." His twin was stubborn, always had been, but he needed to get this one thing off his chest, because he hadn't had a chance to do so while still alive. "I let my fear cloud my judgement. I should have talked to him, protected him from Snoke's growing influence, but I failed."

"His decisions are still his alone." Leia said fiercely. Admitting that they could have prevented what happened to her son was too painful, she couldn't allow herself to sink into this hole again, it would only destroy her. The resistance needed her to be their leader, to be strong for them and even the slightest moment of weakness could mean their downfall. She had been down that rabbit hole before, all those years ago when her son left to join Snoke and the First Order and it nearly killed her. The resistance gave her meaning, she couldn't lose that.

"I know." Luke said sympathetically, sensing her inner distress and turmoil, "But we have been running from the truth for far too long now, don't you think?"

Her hands started to shake, her eyes were getting wet. She told her body to stop, but it wouldn't listen. She loved Luke, but damn him for always getting under her skin like this.

"We weren't there for him. Han and I." Speaking it out loud was like twisting a knife in her own heart. "He was busy being Han…" Only Luke would truly understand what that meant, "And I was…I was trying to build a world where my son could live freely." Memories were washing over her. Memories of holding a newborn Ben in her arms, of watching that sensitive boy always burying his head in a book, but also of that lonely eyes, that underlying rage that build up inside of him growing older. "I guess I was so busy planning ahead that I forgot being his mother."

Luke wished he could hug her, comfort her as she needed it. "You loved him. You still do. You made mistakes, but we all did."

She gave him a small smile. "But ours created a Sith."

Luke shrugged. "You know, being dead gives you a lot time to consider your life choices."

It was beyond her how he could talk about his fate with such an ease, but that was Luke as he had always been to her, before the burden of his own legacy became too much. Positive, sweet, endlessly optimistic and a weird sense of humor.

"I think we maybe got it all wrong. Not just us, but the old Jedi Council as well."

"What do you mean?" She asked curiously, slowly drying her tears.

"Light Side, Dark Side…" He got up from his position and walked towards her window, looking out into the infinity of space. "They believed bringing balance to the Force meant destroying the Sith. They thought our father would bring balance and we thought he did when he decided to turn against the Emperor…then Snoke rose…what if bringing balance means something else?"

Leia eyed him like he had turned into a legitimately crazy person at this point. Questioning past mistakes was one thing, questioning everything they previously believed in was something entirely different.

"You must think I lost my mind." He laughed.

"Just a little bit. Maybe the air is too thin on the other side." She joked.

He laughed again. How much he missed her spunk and humor. "I'm serious though. Maybe balance doesn't mean that one side needs to destroy the other, but embracing both of it. Don't we all have a dark side buried inside of us?" He remembered being a young man, tempted by Vader to join his course. It wasn't only Ben or Rey who heard the call of the darkness, once upon a time he had heard it as well. "Doesn't true balance mean accepting all of our sides and finding a way to let them co-exist?"

Leia had no answer to that. The thought alone was quite overwhelming to her. "That is all very nice, but how does that help me win this war?" Wasn't that why he wanted to talk to her in the first place? Not to discuss the nature of the Force, but how to defeat the First Order?

He waved his arms around. "But don't you see? It's all connected." Looking into her face he only saw more questions. "I thought Rey would be Kylo Ren's undoing."

"You think she is meant to kill him." Leia knew that he had to be stopped, made her peace with that, still it hurt to admit it.

To her surprise, Luke only smiled mischievously. "I didn't say that."

"Then what do you mean?" Leia was getting frustrated with him.

"Things are developing in a far more interesting way than I ever anticipated." He confessed.

She crossed her arms. "Care to elaborate?"

"Actually, no." He started to dematerialize in front of her. "You will have to make some tough decisions, sister. But, rules of ghostly interference. I can't tell you too much."

Leia sprang to her feet. "You just made that up! Don't you dare leaving now!"

"I promised Obi-Wan a game of chess, excuse me." With a hint of a laugh he left Leia behind in her chambers.

"Unbelievable." She said to herself, not knowing if he was still listening or not.

"Lieutenant, go and find me a droid that can access the camera!" Hux ordered.

The Lieutenant nodded. "Sir?" He asked carefully. "May I ask what you hope to find on it?"

Hux grinned. "Just the truth. And now leave!" He leaned back into his chair. Change was coming, he could feel it.

If he knew anything for sure about his former Supreme Leader, then that Snoke had been paranoid. Even with his ability to look into the minds of his servants, he always had a back up plan and trusted no one. Not even his supposed star student. Maybe, especially not him.

Hux always had the small suspicion that Snoke took Kylo under his wing not only because he saw his enormous potential, but also because it meant controlling his power. While he himself still doubted the great Kylo Ren was as strong as everybody believed him to be, there was something inside that man that even made Snoke uneasy. And it fit, didn't it? Control that power, turn it into your own weapon before the resistance can make use of it.

In another lifetime he might have felt sorry for Kylo. Living a life in the shadow of legends, being used and abused for his power, never truly belonging somewhere, never allowed to be your own person.

But things were the way they were, and he didn't have the luxury of compassion. They were at war and he was determined to come out on the top. After all, Supreme Leader Armitage Hux had a very nice ring to it.

Ben put soft kisses on her fingers. "There are so many places I'd like to show you." He whispered as she snuggled closer to his chest. "Planets with forests and lakes, the ocean, mountains, cities in the sky with buildings higher than you can ever imagine…"

She sighed. "That sounds wonderful." She put a kiss on his chest. "Just us. Our very own adventure." It was so nice to dream about a different life where they could be together, doing whatever they wanted, not caring for the world.

"I'd take you wherever you want to go."

She got up, supporting herself on her elbow to look him into the eyes. "I'm happy wherever you are." She knew it sounded mushy, but it was the truth. She just wanted to be with him, no matter where, they could make a home anywhere in the galaxy.

He gently tugged her hair aside, caressing her cheek. Her beauty was beyond words, she was as beautiful on the outside as she was inside. Her big, generous heart, her compassion, intelligence, courage and warmth bewitched him in way he didn't think possible. She turned his tragic life upside down. She came into it like a storm and stirred everything up. While working under Snoke he never truly cared if he survived this war or not, now for the first time since that fateful night he decided to give his life to the darkness, he truly wanted to live. He wanted to have a future, experience life at its fullest with her by his side. Was that what love felt like? That rush, that sensation, that impossible cross between courage and fear?

She leaned down to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I've never felt truly at home until I met you." She whispered against his skin.

His response was pulling her into another deep kiss. He once offered her to rule the galaxy with him, how foolish he had been. He didn't want to rule it, he just wanted to show it to her. He wanted to see it alongside her. Be at home with her. Slowly he started to understand why their Force connection wasn't broken with Snoke's death. It was never him that connected them, he just believed that. It had always been them, reaching out unconsciously for their other half. Light and Dark pushing and pulling until they finally found their own rhythm and realized they weren't so different at all.

"Thank you." He said.

"For what?" She asked with that brilliant smile of hers.

"Everything."

Rey hummed a happy melody the next morning. The rebels were preparing for their next raid, one she gladly sat out this time. She was too occupied training with her new lightsaber and getting it under control.

She smiled absentmindedly making her way through the base and didn't even notice it when Finn started to walk alongside her.

"You might wanna hide that lovey-dovey face a bit more or people will get suspicious." He nudged her.

Her smile dropped. "I'm not lovey-dovey. I'm just…" She stopped, realizing that for the first time in weeks Finn actually spoke to her.

Finn, noticing her immediate change of mood, just continued on like their fight had never happened. "So, purple?" He asked.

Her eyes widened. She needed a moment to realize he was talking about her lightsaber. "Yeah, purple."

Finn followed her into the trainings room. It was small, but it served its purpose. He was still hurt and confused over the whole messy situation they were in, but that didn't stop him from missing his best friend. He could not understand her, but not talking to her hurt too much. He needed her in his life and even if he couldn't even grasp that new reality she opened to him, he made the decision that no matter how much he disapproved and believed that her secret romance would end in tragedy, he wasn't going to lose her over it. Besides, a tiny part still hoped that all of it was a mistake, a trick the Force played on her or whatever Kylo Ren was capable of and how could he ever find out the truth if he wasn't close to her?

"Does that mean anything?"

She was glad they were alone in the room, it allowed her to speak more freely. "Not really. Ben says it mostly depends on the crystal you use to make it." She caught his irritated and disapproving look, yet it felt good to talk about Ben with someone, keeping everything a secret was eating her up from the inside.

She activated the lightsaber, practicing some new moves while Finn sat on the floor, watching her in awe.

"So, the bad guys only collect red crystals then?" He asked curiously. He told himself he only showed interest for her sake, but part of him was truly fascinated with it.

She laughed. "No. The Sith mostly use synthetic ones. That's why they are all red." She explained briefly.

He bit his lip. There were so many things he wanted t to ask her, but he wasn't sure how. If she truly wasn't manipulated or brainwashed, he knew he at least had to try to understand her and her feelings, no matter how difficult that was. If Rey was in love with that guy, maybe there was something good deep inside of him after all. He closed his eyes. Han's final moments played in front of him. Pain rushed through his veins. How did she do that? How did she carry that memory around and still managed to love the man who did that?

"It's not easy." She suddenly said. She tugged her lightsaber away and sat down next to him. "Living with those memories and still accepting the person I see now."

He was seriously freaked out. He knew that the Force allowed Jedi to see into the minds of others, but he never experienced it first-hand.

"Don't worry. I didn't read your thoughts."

"But how…?"

"I know you, Finn." She gently squeezed his hand and was delighted when he didn't pull away. Their friendship was so fragile right now she feared every wrong move could shatter it again.

He gave her a small smile. Baby steps. "Do you think droids can have relationships?" He blurted out.

"What?"

"Like R2 and 3PO…they argue like an old married couple. I also sometimes wonder if BB-8 is a boy droid or a girl droid, you never think about that? Just the other day…" He babbled on and on and Rey sat there and listened and laughed. He wasn't ready to discuss their initial fight yet and she understood that. For now, she was just happy to have her best friend back.

Ben sat alone in the control room. Hux was off probably grilling informants about the location of the rebel base again and he couldn't care less. He was glad not to deal with his annoying voice and accusations today.

Sometimes he wished he had his mask back on. He was constantly on alert that his face would not give his feelings away. Spending so much time with Rey, hearing her say all those wonderful words made him smile, something he never really did before, even as a child. He couldn't risk being discovered in a moment of weakness.

Every day he got more restless. He needed to act soon, find away to end this war or he was positive he would go mad.

"Sir?" A Stormtrooper entered the room. He was shaking, nervous, almost paralyzed by fear.

Ben wondered if he really was that terrifying. He never saw himself as particularly scary, but his reputation preceded him.

"What?" He asked annoyed.

The Stormtrooper handed him a file. "That's…that's the report on Facility Area 7-TPPU, Sir. Everything the rebels stole…I'm sorry we failed you, Supreme Leader…Sir!"

Ben tried to hide an amused smile. Oh, if only the poor boy knew who gave the rebels the plan to that facility. He made a gesture to let the Stormtrooper now where to put it. He studied his movements. Such a nervous wreck.

"Stormtrooper." And idea hit his mind. "Take off your helmet." He ordered.

"Sir?" The Stormtrooper asked confused.

Her rolled his eyes and raised his voice. "I said take off your helmet!"

"Yes, sir!" The Stormtrooper complied. Under the mask Ben found a young man, probably not older than 20. Blonde her, big green eyes and freckles around his nose. He looked terrified.

"What is your name?" A redundant question, he knew. Stormtroopers had no names, just numbers. The First Order never treated them as people, just as weapons, as machines.

"K…KN-3045, Sir." He stuttered.

Ben got up, mustered the boy closer. "Do you remember anything about your past?" He asked with genuine curiosity. He knew the Stormtroopers had been brainwashed into forgetting who they were, some of them kidnapped as children, but still, shouldn't something remain?

The young man shook his head. "I only remember the First Order." Sadness fell over his face. "I only need the First Order." He added quickly.

"Have you heard about the Stormtrooper who abandoned the course and joined the resistance?" Curiosity hit him again. Did Stormtroopers talk about stuff like that? Did they have relationships? A sense of comradery? He never thought of them as people before, but now he did. He hated Snoke for turning him into his servant, for making him his personal weapon, but was he any better if he treated those men like nothing more than disposable objects?

"He is a traitor who deserves to be eliminated."

The answer was rehearsed, that Ben was sure of. The young soldier only told him what he thought he wanted to hear. That needed to change. He considered just getting into his mind to distract the answer he was looking for, but wouldn't that be contra productive?

"If you had the chance to leave the First Order, what would you do?"

"I would never-"

Ben silenced him with a gesture. "Tell me the truth." He softened his voice. "And don't even think about lying, I know it when you lie."

The boy looked like he was about to cry. "I wouldn't want to join the rebels" he said then, "I just…I want to stop fighting. I want to find out who I really am. I just want to be –"

"Free." Ben finished his sentence for him.

The young man gulped. "Yes."

Ben could emphasize so much with him, more than he could ever admit.

"Please don't kill me, Sir." The Stormtrooper said quietly.

"I won't." Ben assured him. "I appreciate your honesty." He sat back into his chair. "Are there more like you? Who just want this to be over?"

He hesitated a moment before he finally nodded. "Yes, Sir. A lot of us are just tired. There are those who genuinely believe in the First Order, but some of us…" he didn't dare to finish that sentence.

Ben turned away from him. "Thank you, for your honesty. You can leave now." He sensed the relief in the boy.

"Thank you, Sir." Before he made it out of the door however, an invisible force seemed to stop him. He slowly turned around, as if his body was moving on his own.

"KN." Ben addressed him, holding him in his place, "Don't tell anybody about this conversation."

The boy shook his head. "Of course not, Sir." When Ben released him, he stumbled out of the room, lucky to be alive.

Ben leaned back. The idea forming inside of his mind was probably foolish and dangerous and bound to fail, but it was worth the risk.

Hux sat alone in his chambers, holding the camera in his hands. Lucky for him a droid able to deceiver the material on it was found and he ordered everyone to leave him alone. He wanted to enjoy this moment of victory.

He sat on how bed, staring at the small device that held his future. There was no doubt in his mind that what it would show to him was the truth he had known all along.

He opened it and pushed a small button. A hologram appeared in front of him. There was Snoke on his throne, Kylo and the girl. He witnessed the torture, the demands, Snoke's demanding voice and Kylo's conflict. Then it happened. The Skywalker lightsaber moved on its own, slicing Snoke in a half. Hux knew that it wasn't the girl. He always knew it wasn't the girl that killed the Supreme Leader.

A cruel smile appeared on his face as he watched the rest of the video. Kylo Ren fighting side by side with the scavenger, slaughtering Snoke's guards. He offered her to rule with him. Of course, he did.

"Jedi scum." Hux whispered to himself as he put the camera away. He needed a moment to collect himself before he stepped outside his chambers. "Lieutenant!" He yelled. "I want you to gather everyone on this ship, including our dear Supreme Leader. I have a discovery to share and I'm sure he is dying to see it."

Rey stumbled as they left the trainings room.

"Whoa, careful." Finn caught her arms.

"Thanks." She looked confused. "I…just for a moment I felt so dizzy. Like something bad is going to happen…"

"A disturbance in the Force?" Finn asked, wondering if that was how the Force worked.

She leaned against the wall, her stomach tightening together. "I don't know. I just feel weird." She didn't want to mention it to Finn, but she was worried something happened to Ben. She never felt like this before and she was certain the Force was trying to tell her something.

"I need to go back to my room." She suddenly rushed past him. She needed the privacy of her own chambers. The Force allowed her to see him by sheer will once before, maybe it would grant her that wish again.

"What is this?" Be rushed past Stormtroopers and guards. "Is this a joke?" He approached Hux, standing on the bridge with a self-satisfied smile on his face.

"Supreme Leader!" He opened his arms, he was going to make a show out of this and enjoy every second. "How nice of you to join us."

Ben sensed no fear in Hux this time. He tried to calm his own nerves instead. He was no fool, he guessed what was going on even though he had no idea how it could have happened.

"My dear fellow soldiers of the First Order." He addressed the room, "You all serve our cause so well, you all served the dearly departed Supreme Leader Snoke and many of you, as I am myself, are still loyal to him."

Ben was sick to his stomach. How much that idiot loved to hear himself talk and give grant speeches.

"I think you deserve to know what really happened to him."

Ben considered killing Hux on the spot, but what good would come out of it? Knowing that little bastard he had a back up plan in case Ben snapped and whatever his proof was, Hux dead or alive meant nothing right now, he was done no matter what.

"I present you proof on how Kylo Ren murdered our true Leader to conspire with rebel scum!"

Ben watched the hologram, he barely heard the gasps and surprised noises around him. How could he have been so careless? Of course, Snoke had some back up security, why didn't he think of that?

Because your heart was broken, a voice whispered inside of his mind. It was a cruel irony. He just started to come up with a plan to end all of this and now, even in death, Snoke managed to make a fool out of him.

The world disappeared in a blur. He heard Hux angrily order his troops to kill him for treason, secretly helping the resistance, sacrificing his own man, murdering the Supreme Leader in cold blood.

Ben didn't move. There was no way out of this situation. Even if there were some Stormtroopers who chose loyalty to him over Hux, they would have been too scared to act. He was the most powerful man in the room, yet utterly helpless. Even with all of his strength he was outnumbered by hundreds of people.

He closed his eyes. Just when he found a reason to live he was going to die without ever getting a chance to really be with her. Maybe that was his punishment for what he did. Maybe that was what the Force wanted all along. Promising him love only to take it away again. His father's face appeared in front of him. That was his payment for what he did to him.

"Ben!"

Her voice. But how could that be? It was too early for the Force to connect them, he was sure about that.

"Ben, please!"

She sounded so far away, yet he could feel her presence surrounding him. Rey. His Rey.

"Shoot him!" Hux yelled from the top of his lungs.

He heard the weapons, saw the laser beams coming straight at him without even opening his eyes.

"Ben."

Hux grinned, it had been everything he wanted ever since he met that arrogant Vader offspring.

"General…" His Lieutenant suddenly said. "Look…"

Hux grin left his face immediately. No laser ever hit Kylo. It looked like time itself had stopped. He was standing there, surrounded by Stormtroopers and other guards, his hands spread out and he held every shot directed at him mid-air.

"What the…?" Then time started moving again. Or was it actually faster than it used to be? Hux wasn't so sure. Laser beams hit the people shooting them, Stormtroopers were pushed through the air, that damn red lightsaber was glowing as it sliced up people.

"Get him!" He yelled. "Capture him! Shoot him! Don't let him get away!" Hux couldn't believe his own eyes. There were so many of them and yet Kylo Ren bested them. His fighting style vicious, he looked like a demon. If Hux had been scared of him before, now he was terrified. That man had to be stopped.

Ben never felt in-control of his powers like that before. He let loose, becoming one with the Force. For the first time in his life he ignored the fight between dark and light inside of him and just felt the power running through his whole body. Uncontrollable power, rage. Luke feared him for that. Even Snoke did. Well, if they were watching right now he would give them something truly terrifying.

He sliced through his enemies. He picked multiple troopers up at the same time and smashed them around. He dodged every bullet, every laser directed at him. He knew he was still outnumbered. This wasn't all the First Order had to offer and he clearly couldn't win, but that wasn't important right now. Important was survival. Her voice was all it needed to ignite his fire and for her he would get out of this.

He lost count of how many he fought when he finally reached a ship. Hux was still shouting, he was sure of that, but he would deal with him later.

He started the ship, using the Force to open the gates and made his escape. They send troopers after him, luckily the one good thing he inherited from his father were excellent piloting skills. Outsmarting them was not the problem, finding a safe place however was.

Rey paced around in her room, calling out his name over and over again, until his face finally appeared.

"Ben!" She gasped. "I felt something. Are you alright? Where are you? I can't see your surroundings. Your cheek…you're bleeding!"

"Rey, shhhh." He said softly, yet out of breath. "I'm on a stolen ship. The First Order is after me."

She dropped on her bed. "What? What happened?"

She heard noises in the background that suggested he was still engaged in combat. Her heart beat faster. This couldn't be happening.

"Hux found out I killed Snoke."

She covered her mouth with her hand. They knew this would be happen sooner or later, but she genuinely hoped for later.

"I need to get away from them. And then –"

"Ahch-To. Meet me on Ahch-To. I will let you into my mind to get the coordinates." She made a decision for herself and them. "From now on we will do this together."

"Rey, if you leave the resistance now they will think –"

"Listen to me." Her voice urgent, yet soft. "We tried to find a solution, but we've been going in circles. We are in this together and from now on, we will be doing this together."

He stared silent, amazed by her words.

"No one could track Luke there and no one will find us. And then we can find a way to end this war, together." She reassured him.

"Together." He repeated. This was it, this would change it all. If she left the resistance now they would both be hunted by either side. They would think she was a traitor or in the best case just kidnapped, either way, they needed to find a way out of this situation if they ever wanted to have a future together and he was going to fight for it.

She grabbed her lightsaber and a few things and sneaked into the hangar. She couldn't take the Falcon without Chewie noticing, so she settled on a smaller ship only used for scouting missions.

Her heart was heavy leaving her friends behind, but she couldn't go on like this. She was determined to find a way to bring peace back to the galaxy, but not with keeping this war going on any longer.

"So, you're leaving?"

She found Finn leaning against the wall. "I didn't expect you to abandon us."

"I don't. I'm finding a way to end this for good." She couldn't let her feelings get into her way now. "Hux found out Ben killed Snoke."

That revelation surprised Finn. "You're going to meet him?"

She nodded.

"And what then? You two against the rest of the galaxy?" He thought she was going mad. There was no other explanation for it. That couldn't end well. It just couldn't.

"I don't know." She kept her voice quiet, not wanting to alarm someone. She was surprised they weren't already interrupted. "All I know is, that we need to end this. Not just for us to be together, but for everyone involved."

She sensed conflict in Finn, but couldn't interpret it. Was he struggling rather to call the guards on her or not?

"I'm so going to regret this." He said, more to himself than to her. He walked towards her and took her bag. Then he walked past her, entering the ship she was going to take.

She followed him confused. "What are you doing?"

"The moment I saw you entering the hangar I disabled security. We have approximately five more minutes before anybody realizes what we are doing." He sat down on the co-pilot seat, "Come on." He pointed at the seat next to him, "you need to fly that thing."

"Finn, what are you doing?"

"Apparently following you on a suicide mission, because I'm an idiot."

"Finn!" She threw her arms around him. "Thank you. Thank you, so much."

He gently pushed her away. "You can thank me later, first let's get out of here."

She nodded and smiled. She was going to see Ben soon. Her best friend was on her side. For the first time that night she felt hopeful again.

"General?"

"Lieutenant Connix." Leia said as the young woman entered her chambers. "What can I do for you?"

"I have to report an unauthorized start. Someone briefly disabled our security system."

"Excuse me?" Leia almost yelled. "How is that possible?"

"General Leia!" Poe Dameron almost ran over Connix entering Leia's chambers. "Finn and Rey, they are gone."