September 26, 2013

Ziva squeezes the phone that is in her hand and drops it on the table. She has a thoughtful look on her face and her eyebrows are pulled together. Suddenly she sets down her tea on the coffee table also and gets up from the sofa. She goes into her bedroom and grabs the laptop that has been off for a while now. She plugs it into the wall in her bedroom and sits down on her bed. She opens it and turns it on.

Her heart is racing. She's unsure of what she's going to get. She opens the last message she had with Tony and sees that he's online. She reads the last message. "Count to a million," he had sent her. Tears are in her eyes again. She had been so hopeful and she had tried to count too, but she had failed with her nerves and now her nerves were there again. She starts typing.

Hi Tony! I know I said… well, I'm not sure really what to say. I was taking a small trip down memory lane and well… I was thinking of you. –Zi

She sends the message and then the screen tells her he has read it, instantly. She wonders if he was staring at the same words that she was staring at. Her computer tells her that she is typing and her heart is pounding in her chest. Two days! That was all it took for her to contact him.

Me? You were remembering me? Why? Rather, what were you thinking about? –T

She smiles while tears pour down her face.

At the moment, page 57, if you must know.

She is laughing again now and she knows her emotions are all sorts of confused at the moment. She is happy and sad and heartbroken and laughing all at the same time and its as disorienting as the desks and skylight used to be at NCIS.

Page 57? Wow! That was a long time ago, and an interesting thought to remember me in J

She laughs again as more tears pour down her cheeks.

I know.

That's all she says. It's quiet for a moment and she wonders what he is thinking. She wonders if he'll say anything else. She glances at the clock. It is noon where she is now that means its midnight there and she sighs. He's probably getting ready for bed. She looks back to her computer, her heart still racing. He's typing again and she's nervous for whatever he's going to say.

Let's take a trip together down memory lane. You remember our undercover assignment? That was an interesting memory if ever I've had one.

November 9, 2005

Tony and Ziva have checked into the hotel room and just finished checking around the room a little, wondering how much surveillance was on them. They don't find anything and Tony shrugs to Ziva. That's when Ziva turns and kisses him, rather hard and eager, as though she's going to attack him. She knows its just pretend, but some piece of her has been dying to see what he's like and her heart races all on its own.

Tony responds to her and kisses her back, turning her and pushing her back onto the bed. "We need to make this look as realistic as possible," he whispers to her.

"In that case," Ziva says with a smile, "I like the top," she adds as she rolls them over.

However as she rolls them over his tip hits the edge of her. That's when Ziva hesitates for a moment. It is unlike her to hesitate, but she's never been so close to someone she wanted and couldn't have. She doesn't breathe and her heart fails to beat for that brief moment. It is Tony that speaks first.

"That was my knee," he mutters.

She chuckles lightly, being pulled back into the situation. "That was definitely not your knee," she whispers to him.

She tries to adjust herself, so that she's hovering over him instead of touching so much of him. Her knee slips on the silk of the sheets and he slips a little further into her. Ziva stops again, unable to breathe or move herself. She's unsure of what to do now. She's never been in a situation where she simply wasn't allowed to act and she's never wanted to act so much more than this moment right now.

Tony can see the shock on her face as her muscles clench around him and he desires it too. His hands find her but and hold her up as much as she already is up. He doesn't take this lightly, because it's not a light situation. He looks at her seriously.

"Ziva?" he says as quietly as he can and she can hear the desire coming off his voice.

Her eyes focus a little more on him, but her thoughts are in one place. She can't seem to pull herself up and continue on with the pretending at that moment. Her breathing is ragged and she is squirming a little.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he says to her, reminding her that she is not in Mossad at the moment.

Her eyes slide closed for a moment and she takes a deep breath. When she opens her eyes again, they are softer, more vulnerable, but the walls are by no means gone. She wants this, but she's unsure.

"Only if you're sure," he says.

He's reading her too easily and she knows it. He's read her too easily from the moment they met and she is fond of it, but she would never admit it to even him, let alone anyone else.

She pushes her body down against his hands and they slide to her hips, allowing her the control of the situation for the moment. He groans as he slides all the way inside of her. His hands tighten on her hips and they lock eyes again, as he's holding her still.

"Are you sure?" he asks her. "You always have a choice."

That stuns her for a moment. The words are obviously chosen carefully and she knows he can see some sort of vulnerability in her. She knows that he is reading far deeper than she ever thought anyone would read her. And, his words only make her respect him more. She nods to him and leans down to press her lips to his.

This time she is more gentle with the kiss, but still eager. He uses his hands to lift her hips up and then push them back down slowly, breathing unevenly and kissing her back. She moans very quietly and the sound drives him a little crazy. She pulls back to look at him.

"I am sure," she says quietly.

"I know," he says.

September 26, 2013

Interesting, you say? Yes, it was interesting, but it was very telling too, Tony. That was when I knew I could definitely trust you.

Ziva says the words before she thinks. She is opening up more than ever before by taking this trip down memory lane. She knows that she can trust him and she is concerned for what this lapse in judgment will cost, but she trusts him to take care of himself. He promised, after all and this is important to her, as much as all the memories are combined.

It was the first time I knew that your life and mine were very different. I remember the relief in your eyes when Gibbs said it was going to be staged. I also remember the anger in your eyes before that small incident happened. And, I remember the gratitude in you eyes when you were given a choice. I'm not totally thick.