Hey guys!!! I'm super thankful for the support I'm getting on this story! It's great. I really appreciate it. I'd also like to apologize for the delay, I've been moving and dealing with my s/o and their upcoming surgery! (Stress, stress, stress)

I realize though, that I've forgotten to add trigger warnings so here they are:

Possible triggers for rape and/or assault if you can't read that sort of thing then please do not read.

As always, leave your thoughts or suggestions or questions in the reviews!!!

"William Lewis raped me."

The disclosure hung heavy between the two like a fog of dread.

Amanda's head spun; even though she knew what Olivia would say, the words still slammed into her like a truck. Her vision blurred with the tears that sprung to her eyes. "Liv…" she whispered into the space that separated them. To her surprise, Olivia laughed. "Are you okay?"

It took a moment for Olivia to answer and even then she didn't have much to say.

"I'm sorry, I'm not, it's not funny, it's just…" her voice trailed off as the tears forced their way up and the sobs came forth in bursts.

Amanda's heart was breaking with the sight of Olivia sitting on her bedroom floor, fighting for the breath that her own sadness had stolen from her. The agony etched on her face in hard lines and tear streaks, her hand on her chest as if trying to keep her pounding heart inside her body. Without thinking, Amanda scooted across the floor to sit next to Olivia, she wasn't sure if she'd allow it, but she felt as if she needed to hold her. With a tentative hand on a shaking shoulder, she got closer, but before she could make another move Olivia collapsed into her arms, holding tightly to the back of her shirt. "Oh Liv, I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner. I'm sorry I didn't try to help you. I'm so sorry." Her own tears made their way down her face as she held Olivia back, a hand behind the head of chestnut locks and the other wrapped around her shoulders, holding her against her own body.

Had this been a less heartbreaking exchange, Amanda would have a mind full of inappropriate thoughts at the closeness of the two; the way Olivia held onto her as if she were the last life jacket on a sinking ship would've sent her over board. But this was not about sex, it was not about the curves she'd wanted to touch and memorize, it wasn't about the fullness of her lips or the way her eyes danced when she found something funny. No, this was about comfort and nothing else. It was about helping the woman she was so madly in love with away from the edge and holding her up, it was about proving the words she had spoken earlier that day. "I love you."

*

Olivia lay, silent now, with her head in Amanda's lap, her long thin fingers running through her chesnut hair. Her tears were dry but she felt so empty. It was strange, she had lived for years in a half-way decent state of mind without anyone knowing the truth about what had happened with William Lewis, but now that Amanda knew she felt as if something had been ripped out of her.

This woman who she had very nearly hated upon their first meeting was the only person she had confided in. Granted, a lot had changed between them in the last few years, they had become close, friends even.

After a while, she lifted her head and looked into the crystal blue eyes staring down at her, and in that moment clarity came rushing over her like a tidal wave of truth.

She reached up and touched the porcelain skin of Amanda's face, it was smooth and warm, still a little damp from the tears earlier. This woman was beautiful, stunning really. Sure, she knew she had some strong feelings for the blonde but in that moment looking into her eyes, it became clear that she had never really looked at her. There was a small almost unnoticeable scar hidden beneath the hair of her left eyebrow that she had never noticed before, and a spattering of freckles that danced along her hair line. She could see so much going on behind the blue of Amanda's eyes, so much love, compassion, and concern shining through. But the way Amanda looked at her didn't make her feel like a victim, it made her feel safe, and safety was a hard thing to come by.

"I love you too, you know." Olivia said quietly, her fingers running over the line of Amanda's jaw.

"What?" Amanda asked, almost in disbelief. What kind of love? She wondered.

"You told me earlier that you loved me, and I didn't say it back. I'm saying it now. I love you Amanda Rollins." She moved into a sitting position, looking squarely at Amanda, trying her best to express the emotions that were now bubbling in her chest. "I love you because you're smart, and kind and compassionate. And your heart is entirely too big for your tiny body." She smiled when Amanda let out a small laugh. "And I love you because you're real, and true and honest. You know what you want, and even though you don't always get it, you still keep your head on your shoulders. I love you because you've had the strength to overcome so much and you're still standing and whether you know it or not I look up to you because of that. You are an incredible woman Amanda, and I, I'm, well… I think I'm in love with you." She took the smaller woman's hands in her own and brought them to her lips, gently kissing the palm of each one before looking back into the blue eyes in front of her.

Amanda's mouth was open slightly as if looking for words she just could not find. Olivia, the woman she had been head over heels for since before she moved to New York City had just covered her feelings to her. She loved her, she was in love with her. The air felt as if it was water, her lungs were fighting to fill themselves and all she could to was stare.

"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have told you that. I'm sorry " Olivia said, releasing Amanda's hands from her grasp, her heart sinking.

"No, no, no wait Liv. I'm sorry it's just, I'm surprised is all." Taking Olivia's hands back in her own, she spoke again. It's now or never. "I feel the same way about you. I have for a very, very long time. You are the most incredibly strong woman I have ever known and I can't believe you feel the same way about me. I've long since decided that you never would, and I would have to settle for just having you in my life." The two of them sat silently for a moment before the quiet became too much and Olivia took a chance.

The kiss started out slow and sweet, but it didn't take long before it was heated and passionate. Olivia was straddling Amanda's legs, her hands tangled in golden locks while Amanda held tight to Olivia's hips, finally being able to feel the curves she'd admired for years.

Olivia, always being the voice of reason was the first to pull away. "We shouldn't go to far. We've both been upset, and I don't want you to think I just want this because I told you something personal, or I just need sex to feel better. I want to show you it has nothing to do with any of that. So, I think, we should, go slow." She spaced out her words for two reasons; to punctuate her point, and to catch the breath that Amanda had stolen.