Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers. i really appreciate hearing from you all.i hope you all enjoy this new chapter.
"I'm so nervous…" Xiang confessed as they approached the Lee family home. "I hope they'll like me… what if they say no?" He grabbed Komui's sleeve in terror. "What if they say yes?!"
"Relax… it will be fine." Komui wished he believed that himself. Nervous butterflies had taken up residence in his stomach and refused to leave. Tonight would be Xiang's formal request for Lenalee's tiny hand. Komui helped him practice what to say constantly throughout their journey home. He was almost positive that everything would go smoothly and by the end of the day he would have a new brother in law; still, he couldn't shake the nerves. "Remember just take it one step at a time; you're just meeting them today… relax, it's all informal until tonight. Then after they accept, all you have to do is wait until Lenalee comes of age and you'll have the wedding. I'm sure they'll like you, and you'll have plenty of time for Lenalee to get to know you."
"Do you think they'll like the presents I've brought? Think its enough?" he nervously tugged on his shoulder bag. "I worked really hard…"
"I know you did." Komui was proud of him. He worked for weeks to make a doll for his intended. As far as Komui was concerned, Xiang could make a profession of making dolls. Their room was filled with the lovely but discarded attempts he made while learning.
The finished doll was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Xiang was truly an artist. He molded and carved the face, hands and feet in porcelain; he painted the details after it was fired. The result was a delicate model of a young woman; her white skin looked soft as real flesh. A gentle and mischievous smile played on her lips. Xiang used real hair he acquired from wig maker. He left it hanging loose, but it was long enough that it could be brushed and braided, even pulled up into a bun. Komui had laughed at him while he practiced styling it. The body of the doll was soft and Xiang stitched all her clothing by hand from scraps and remnants from the local dressmaker's shop. The result was a multicolor blossom of silks that, if life sized, would have been fit for the Empress.
"I think she'll love it." He assured him. "It's really beautiful. Have you thought about maybe making dolls for a living? You have a gift or something. If school doesn't work out…"
"Would your parents accept that?" Komui didn't answer.
"My family is well to do… I know your family is too. I think that would be enough. The gifts you brought are proof enough of that."
Xiang tugged again nervously on his shoulder bag. "I hope so…" he started laughing. "My parents are going to be so mad… all their stupid planning and I'll be denying them. I don't understand them. You'd think that they would be happy enough with all the money they inherited from Grandfather… but no, they want to been seen with all the right people and go to all the right parties…" he laughed harder. "Marry their child into the right important bloodline."
"I don't think they thought it through very well…" Komui said nodding his agreement. "Technically Lenalee would be marrying into your family; into obscurity… it would be different if it was the other way around."
"Right, if I were a proper girl…" Xiang flashed him a crooked smile. "Then they could say; 'why yes; the noble Lee family requested our dear child to marry their only son! We're so very honored!'" he squeaked in a mocking feminine tone. "Now they're just hoping for 'oh! The Lee family thinks so highly of us that they asked if their only daughter could marry into our family!' ugg… I hate them."
Komui laughed hard as they turned down the path that led to his home. He felt Xiang's fingers lace around his own and squeeze tight. He ran over what he was going to say one last time before going inside.
Lenalee burst out the door before he could open it. "Big brother!" she howled with glee and charged him. She stopped dead when she noticed the stranger beside him. Instantly she fell silent and stared at the newcomer with wide eyes. She quickly grabbed Komui's pant leg and hid behind it.
"Lenalee… little sister, I want you to meet my friend Xiang." Komui knelt beside her and set his hands on her tiny shoulders. She glanced at him briefly before keeping her wide eyes locked on Xiang. "He's come all the way from my school just to meet the prettiest girl in all of China…"
"No…" Xiang joined him on the ground. Carefully he took Lenalee's dainty hands in his. "I'm here to meet the prettiest girl in the world." They were rewarded with a shy smile. "Your big brother has told me all about you… I hope we'll be best friends."
"You big brother's friend?" Lenalee asked shyly. Xiang nodded with a broad grin. "Then you my friend too!" She pulled away and ran into the house. "Mama!" She called. "Mama! Meet my new friend! I have a new friend!"
"She is dangerously cute…" Xiang shook his head as he stood. "Your parents have got to say yes, or I don't know what I'll do…"
"It'll be fine." Komui held the door open for his friend and show him inside. "Come set your bags in my room… then I'll introduce you to my parents…" Oh I hope this goes well…
Komui was greatly relieved to find his Father had already received the letters of intension from both Xiang personally and from his parents. "Father, Mother, this is my friend Xiang Yin; we have classes together."
"I know why you're here young man." The master of the house almost smiled. "I look forward to hearing your proposal. But first…" he beckoned Xiang close. "Man to man, what made you interested in my daughter? We have not prepared any dowry… nor is there any particular gain for us to be had by marrying her off into your family. So why her?"
"Truthfully sir, it is because of your honored son that I found such interest." Xiang spoke with a practiced ease. "He spoke highly of her beauty and sweet nature. A daughter of the Lee household deserves to wooed by someone who will hold her above all others; someone who seeks only her happiness and not a dowry or any other such payment for her hand. I am only interested in her… not in building any status for my own house. There is no dowry that can compare; her hand is alone is enough."
The answer seemed to please the old man. His slight smile looked odd on his stern face. He nodded and dismissed them. "Well then, I am looking forward to hearing your proper proposal before this evening's meal." Both boys bowed deeply and backed out of the room.
Komui grabbed his sleeve and pulled Xiang quickly to his room. "We have a couple of hours to get everything ready…"
"Do you think I did ok?" Xiang pulled the ribbon from his hair and started to untangle the thick tresses. "Help me dress for this…"
"It went fine… my Father is just like that." He went to Xiang's bag and started pulling out the boy's finery. "I'll get your clothes set; you go wash up." he gestured to the wash basin in the corner of his room. Xiang unbuttoned his tunic and pulled it over his head. He splashed his face and hair, grabbed a cloth and began scrubbing the rest of his exposed skin clean.
Komui didn't mind helping him dress. His best clothes were complicated mass of silk, sashes and buttons. Xiang sat in front of him on the bed and Komui brushed and plaited his long hair. "There we go…" he said as he secured the end with a ribbon.
"Thanks." Xiang breathed. He shifted and pushed Komui back onto the bed, pinning him there. "Don't know what I'd do without you…" he smiled that enigmatic smile of his. Slender hands took Komui's own guiding and encouraging them to explore the bare flesh of his back and sides. "I can't believe I'm actually here… in your house, your room." He peppered his face with little kisses before Komui managed to push him away. An awkward silence fell over the room.
"So… um, you need to finish getting dressed." Komui finally spoke.
"Right…" his face flushed. "Sorry about that. I think I'm just nervous about everything." Xiang started to reach for him but stopped. "You always help me relax…" he pulled on his clean undershirt.
The tunic he wore over his shirt and pants was an elegant shade of green, not the pure green worn by royalty, but a paler yellow tinted hue; it was embroidered with gold. Real gold, as Xiang was quick to point out. The thread formed intricate designs of plants and dragonflies. It was pleasant and somehow fit Xiang's personality.
"How do I look?" he asked nervously, tugging at the silk decorating his lithe frame.
"You look handsome…" Komui answered honestly with a smile. There was something painfully beautiful about the other boy; it made him slightly uncomfortable, so he tried to ignore it. Fooling around with Xiang had only been a phase; he was sure of that, but then why was he feeling so odd?
Luckily the hours before dusk rolled by quickly; it gave Komui precious little time to contemplate the confusing feelings in his chest. He pulled on his own formal clothes and soon he was respectfully sitting on the floor by his Father's chair to listen to Xiang's proposal.
"Master Lee… my Lady," Xiang addressed warmly. Only Komui could read the worry on his smooth face. He sympathized deeply; his parents and Lenalee sat in their most expensive clothes watching and judging his every move. "Honored Son, Treasured Daughter… I humbly come before you tonight to ask for the hand of Lenalee in marriage…" He swallowed hard, nearly stumbling on his words. Komui sent him an encouraging smile. "I have brought gifts, to show my sincerity and my appreciation to you for hearing my proposal."
"Komui watched his Father approve with a nod. "We will accept your gifts… please, bring them." He gestured the boy forward.
Xiang let a soft relieved laugh slip and pulled his gifts free from the travel bag at his feet. "My Lord, I bring you star charts of the North sky. They are up to date with the most newly discovered stars listed and their properties fully described. As the most respected and known astrologer, I hope you will find them useful." Xiang knelt on the floor and held up the rolled charts. He hurried back to his bag without turning his back to the family.
Lenalee crawled up onto her brother's lap. "What's he doing?" she whispered. "I'm bored." Komui wrapped his arms around her.
"Pay attention little Sister…" he soothed. "Xiang is doing this all for you." She blinked up at him with surprise. "He has to prove to Father and Mother that he will be good to you before you can be friends."
"Why?"
"Because, when you grow up to be a beautiful woman…" He brushed the loose hair from her eyes. "He wants to marry you."
"Like Mama and Papa are married?" she glanced at her parents and then fixed her wide eyed stare on Xiang.
"Yes… just like that… but not until you're much older." He held her tight. She was so precious to him. Xiang will be good to her, he reminded himself. Lenalee wormed free only to be scooped up by Mother and held on her lap.
"My Lady…" Xiang approached and knelt before her. "To you I bring a necklace of fine jade…" he presented a small carved box of dark wood.
Mother opened it and gasped. Carefully, as if afraid to break it, she lifted the heavy pendant. The cloudy green teardrop of stone was inscribed with blossoming lotus flowers. "Oh my… she breathed softly. "It's so beautiful…"
Xiang flashed a charming but humble smile. "Its beauty pales before yours my Lady." Komui couldn't stop smiling. Xiang told him how he hoped she would respond like that, just so he could use that line to answer. Mother blushed brightly.
"For Lenalee, Treasured Daughter…" Xiang returned once again to his bag and pulled free a bundle of silk containing the doll. "I bring this." He bowed again and held the doll up for her to take. Lenalee looked to her Mother for consent before taking it. Giggling she pulled the wrapping from the doll.
She was utterly speechless, tiny hand moving reverently over the doll's hair, face and clothes. "She's so… pretty…" She held to doll at arm's length to examine it as a whole. "Mama… look at her, isn't she perfect…" Mother reached out and touched the doll's hair, before Lenalee clutched the doll too her. She looked at Xiang's face. "This is really for me?"
"I made it just for you." He smiled back and Lenalee started crying with happiness.
Father patted her head fondly. "Your gifts are very well thought out. My daughter obviously loves hers… but what of my son? You have not brought anything for him." Komui nearly snapped his neck trying to look at his Father. They hadn't thought of that. Usually only the parents would receive gifts to win favor and, usually, it was the family of the husband who would receive a dowry. This was a strange case to begin with; Xiang just felt that an extra present for Lenalee would show his sincerity. They never thought Komui's parents would then expect a gift for their son as well.
"Ah…" Xiang glanced to Komui, who shifted uncomfortably on his pillow before fixing his gaze back on the master of the house. "Your Honored Son has already received my gift to him… I give him my eternal friendship and undying loyalty. Wherever Komui goes I will follow."
Father raised an eyebrow and stroked his thin beard. He smiled. "I see."
"I love it!" Lenalee squealed suddenly, making everyone jump at the outburst. "My doll is so pretty and I love it!" She slid from her mother's grasp; Komui tried to catch her arm, but she easily sidestepped it and tackled Xiang.
Xiang was sprawled on the floor, a giggling Lenalee sitting on his chest and pinning him down. He reached up and ruffled her hair, smiling dazedly. She swooped down and kissed his cheek like she often did her brother's and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. "Love, love, love, love, love!" she sang happily.
When she kissed him again, Komui felt a distinct pang of jealously that disturbed him deeply. His most precious sister was lavishing kisses and affection on his best friend. His sister… his friend; the two most important people in his world and they were happy with out him. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. He was jealous; even worse he couldn't determine just who it was making him feel that way. He didn't know if he wanted to be the one his sister was kissing, or the one who was kissing Xiang. Both ideas twisted his stomach so tightly, he wondered if he would die.
He ignored the discussion Mother and Father were having beside him, too trapped in his own mind to pay attention, until they spoke to Xiang. Mother addressed him sweetly, "How many pairs of wedding slippers will your family be requiring?" As she grows up and nears her wedding day, Lenalee would sew the slippers for her bridegroom and his family. Komui blinked rapidly to clear the dust from his mind. They were saying yes! Relief flooded through him; it had actually worked.
"Just a pair for myself." Xiang answered quickly; he wasn't going to involve his family. "Just for the sake of tradition… I need no dowry."
"Agreed." Father nodded with approval. "Welcome to my House, Son in Law."
Xiang laughed brightly, sat up and forgetting all protocol, hugged his betrothed tightly. "Little Wife…" he cooed to her. "I'll be so good to you!" He crooked a finger towards Komui and beckoned him over. "Brother in Law! We'll all be so happy…" Quickly, he joined them on the floor, wrapping his arms around the both of them and forcing the lingering jealously out of his heart.
It was going to return later. For the evening meal, Lenalee sat between Mother and Xiang, leaving Komui feeling very neglected as they took turns feeding the little girl.
It was decided that Xiang would sleep in Komui's room for the duration of his visit. That night as they retired, the horrible jealously that had been festering inside him for the better part of the evening finally boiled up to the surface.
As soon as the door shut, Komui slammed his dear friend up against it and kissed him. It was a brutal kiss, cruel and utterly possessive. It was the first time Komui ever initiated any kiss with Xiang. He knew he was hurting him and still he persisted. The other boy fought; he struggled and finally started to cry. Komui loosened his grip and let Xiang free his thin wrists and slump down to the floor, hands covering his face.
Horrified by his actions Komui stalked off to the other side of his room, too afraid to face his friend. He could hear Xiang crying weakly behind him. What is wrong with me?!
"What is wrong with you?!" Xiang hissed, his body shaking like a leaf in a gale.
"I don't know!" Komui snapped back. "I just… I don't know!" he paced with irritation and threw his hands up. "I don't know… just seeing you like that, with her. I don't understand why but it felt so… I don't know!" Komui hated being this confused. He liked to be in control of everything. Emotions escaped that sense of control, defied his notion of rational, scientific explanations for everything and made him so frustrated.
"You didn't like seeing her kiss me? Is that why you just went nuts and scared the living daylights out of me?!" Xiang approached him cautiously, like a wounded animal and Komui wanted to die on the spot. "You know…" a slender hand touched his shoulder and turned him around. "If you wanted to kiss me…" the hand traveled to the back of Koumi's neck and pulled him close; goose flesh prickled over his skin. "You don't have to be so… I wouldn't say no." Xiang paused; their lips nearly touching. It was up to Komui to close that gap; he couldn't do it. Instead he rested his head on Xiang's shoulder and shuddered.
"I'm so sorry…" he whispered into the soft silk of the other boy's clothes.
"Don't scare me like that again… I wasn't expecting it, too forceful. That hurt Komui; I cut my lip on my tooth. Come on…" Arms settled around him and Komui gratefully sank into the embrace. "Sit with me… tell me what's wrong. I know you better than you know yourself. I'll understand, so don't be afraid." He guided Komui onto his bed and held him.
"My sister was kissing you…"
"Well, what do you expect… we're engaged now; don't worry, it was only a few harmless kisses. Nothing and I mean that, nothing will happen until she fully comes of age…" Xiang rubbed his back, carefully easing away some of the tension.
Komui blushed at the thought. "It's not that… just, I'm not stupid, and I know what married couples do and…" How could he say it to him? Was there any way to explain what was bothering him so much? "I can't…" he admitted lamely.
Xiang made a thoughtful noise. "How about I guess what's bothering you? You can tell me if I guess right or wrong and then you don't have to say it out loud." He leaned back against the wall and guided Komui to lie in his lap. "You really didn't want this to work; you expected your parents to say no?"
"No…"
"Alright, then you want Lenalee and I to wed… but not ever act as husband and wife?"
"It's not that…"
"So, that's fine… you don't think I should show her any affection now?"
Komui felt his face heat; Xiang could read him like a book. "I think that's part of it…"
"You're her big brother and you want her to keep worshiping you like one?" He cracked open an eye to see that Xiang was smiling down at him. "Until today you were the only man in her life that mattered. You're jealous that I'll steal away all her love for you."
"Yes." He admitted. How am I going to tell him more… shit. "It's more than that… please don't think I'm sick."
"Hey, remember who you're talking to. I'm as sick as they get." Xiang's laugh helped him relax. "If anyone's going to understand you, it will be me."
Komui took a deep steadying breath. "I want to be the one she's kissing… and not like a brother." He swallowed hard; it was so difficult to say it out loud. "But I also want to be the only one kissing you."
There were no disapproving comments from Xiang and for that he was grateful. "Hmm… that is difficult. She's your sister… you can't have her, not like that and you know it." He moved and laid down, pulling Komui down atop him. "However," he smiled. "I'm just a brother in law… you can have me anytime you like."
"No…" Komui tried to move but the thin arms around his waist held tight. A cool hand found its way under his clothes and snaked over his back, making his breath catch. Impossibly soft lips found his own. His body felt strange; it scared him. This needed to stop and fast. "Xiang, no… this doesn't feel right… it's wrong…"
"Let's be wrong together then."
"I can't… Xiang." He pleaded even as he found himself returning every kiss and Xiang's legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer. When a hand strayed to a sensitive spot on his chest and pinched, Komui finally found the strength to pull away. "No, stop!"
Xiang looked at him, sad eyes set in a flushed face. "You're cruel." He gasped. "You can't tell me you feel nothing…"
"I'm so sorry." Komui knew this was his fault. He had forced that horrible kiss on Xiang and then rejected him when he responded gently. He cared for him, but that much? Was it enough to ever let him continue, to let kissing and touch turn to more? The thought still made his insides twist.
They shared the only bed that night, neither one touching the other.