DISCLAIMER: I do not own Batman...sadly.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: Wow. I am surprised more and more every time I crank out another chapter. I thought this would be a lot harder than it actually is, knock on wood. Perhaps when I have writer's block I will be regretting these words but for now, I already have the next two or three chapters in mind so I shouldn't keep you readers waiting for long. Not that I've had any REVIEWS yet or anything *cough cough*. But now I am starting to seem petty. Very well, I will forgive you and just hope that you like my story. Even though I could do a lot more with it if I had some feedback…enough chit-chat. I'll make you guys stop feeling bad and start off with a little bit of Batman? Bruce? Both? Screw it. I don't know. Enjoy!

BATMAN

"Oh, by the way Batman, I could always replace your little bat in training if you decide that she's not good enough. You know I'm a more adequate replacement anyway!"

And before I could do anything, she poofed away using Joker's "magical" powder. Damn. I can still catch them…but Batgirl needs help. I guess I'll catch him later. I forgot about the museum guard that Joker originally took as hostage until I saw him shaking in a corner. Clearly he doesn't do things like this every day. I can imagine that guarding a museum, of all places, can't be all that thrilling. He looked like he wanted to say something and was judging on whether or not it was a good idea. After all this time, and people I save every day are still scared of me.

"Ummmm….ugh…bat….man. Who was th…th…that?"

"That was the Joker. You're lucky to be alive. For whatever reason, he chose to spare you but I know that he wouldn't have hesitated to take your life in seconds."

At that, he seemed to be reflecting at his good fortune. I couldn't focus on him for much longer because there was still the pressing issue of attending to Batgirl. Where did she go? Last time I saw her, she was attacking the Joker next to the sailing ship.

I heard a noise as I approached the boat and I ran to the back of it. Sure enough, there she was bleeding all over the floor and passed out, once again, against the ship. That must've been the noise that I heard. I slung her over my shoulder and told the museum guard to contact the police. I aimed my bat-line at the window I had just broken and zipped out.

I'm assuming that Myla passed out because of her loss of blood but I can't be sure. I have to hurry and get her to the bat cave. All I need is another reason to have a guilty conscience. Maybe if she wouldn't have been drinking, I wouldn't have to worry about things like this. That's what truly sent me over the edge. She begs and begs for me to let her help saying that she is capable of doing it and that I'm treating her like a child. Then, she shows up drunk when I need her for something important. I could've called Night Wing or even Gordon. I wouldn't really like the idea of sending Gordon but at least he would've been better suited for the job.

I know that there is something wrong with Myla, she can't fool me. But whenever I bring anything up she either denies it or passes it off with nonchalance. I'm surprised she admitted anything tonight to be honest. Oh wait, she was drunk. It's not that I don't care for her, because really, I do. More than I should. But I can't stand how she always thinks she's right. I will give her credit though, she knows when she's about to cross a line.

I loaded Myla's body into the passenger seat of the bat mobile. As I was about to get in, I noticed a hot air balloon moving swiftly up in the sky. Damn. I could've easily slashed it down with one of my bat-a-rangs. This wouldn't have happened if Batgirl would just follow her damn directions. This has not been the first time she's screwed up. She was the one sneaking up on the Joker, not the other way around! Whatever, I'm done with thinking about it. All it does is make me even angrier.

I slammed the door and raced home. Boy, she has a lot of explaining to do.

Instant regret slammed down on me seconds later as I heard tiny screams exit her lips. She fidgeted and writhed in sweat.

I pushed harder on the gas.

I finally got home and immediately, Alfred came out. He didn't even have a question on his face as he helped me slide Myla out carefully so we didn't injure anymore of her than was necessary. We lifted her onto my bat shaped conference table in the cave. At this point, even Alfred had concern. Myla has always been one of his more favorite of all my…friends. Sometimes he even sided with her in arguments which never failed to make me furious. But this time I couldn't help but worry too.

"How did this happen Master Bruce?" Alfred asked grimly.

"I'm not sure what she was hit with but she was unconscious when I got there. Then, she woke up and held off the Joker for me. Unfortunately, the Joker got away and apparently got his revenge on her because she's bruised and cut all over. I think she's lost too much blood."

"I'll get some blood packets to inject in her and some stitching supplies. Once she's stable, I'll collect small samples to make sure that all the gas is completely gone out of her system."

"Thank you Alfred."

"It's the least I can do after you put her life in danger, sir."

He hurried away before I could retaliate. He always did this! He made it seem like it was my fault that she was doing all of this. She's the one who begs and pleads with me to let her help the great Batman! I definitely don't want her loose fighting random crooks either but she insists! That woman has a mind of her own and no one can stop it. If she wanted to be president he was sure that she could wiggle her way into the system in less than a week. But that's also why he admired her. She could do anything and let no one tell her that she couldn't. Even if it was completely stupid and irresponsible.

Alfred came back down and began stitching her as I looked more into this Joker business. I don't understand why Cat woman is working with him. I should've known, 'The bat, the bats, has emptied his box full of cats.' It was obviously in the riddle. Hmm, riddles. Riddles aren't Joker's thing. If Joker is working with Cat woman than it's possible that he's working with others too. I'm guessing that the riddle itself is the real answer to the riddle. He must be working with Enigma. But if he's working with just Cat woman and Enigma that would be stupid. They don't make the best combination because they hate each other. The Joker isn't stupid…there must be others. But who?

As I pondered this mystery I heard shuddering coming from Myla just as Alfred had finished the stitching.

"She should be fine, sir. Just give her a couple of minutes to wake up." He said.

"Wh..What's goin' on?"

So much for a couple of minutes. She always had a mind of her own.

"Well, I rescued you from the museum floor as the Joker, Harley, and Cat woman escaped while also helping the museum guard. No thanks to your drunken self…"

Alfred raised his eyebrows at this but made no comment. Of course he wouldn't comment on HER mistakes. Oh, no, SHE was the "perfect" one.

She glared at that and shot back, "Well maybe if you would give me a little more information before we did things like this, I wouldn't have to resort to drinking away the stress that comes from figuring out how to be a hero with nothing to go on."

"I never said that you had to help me."

"I swear you purposefully do this so that I look stupid."

"Oh, no, you do that all by yourself."

She huffed at this. She always did this when she was frustrated at me and then changed the subject.

"Well. Did you stop whatever the Joker was planning on doing?" Ta-da! Subject change.

"Yes. I did. I called Gordon about the rats. I figured it out when I remembered that Harley had slipped something last week about poisoned rats. I figured she was just saying it as an expression but then I thought about the riddle and it clicked. Harley was never the brightest. Gordon is searching all the sewers and as many homes as he can right now and should hopefully prevent anything else."

"Oh. Well how did you figure out that the Joker was at the museum? It would've taken you at least another hour to investigate the other place."

"I was about halfway there when I realized you hadn't called. I got worried because every time you investigate something you usually update me about it. I figured that something had happened to you. I was correct. So I got to the museum where I tied and gagged all the guards. And, well, you know the rest."

She seemed to be thinking this all over. "Awww, you worried about me Bruce? That's sweet." She smiled and I knew that losing blood, being gassed, and drunk in one combination was not the best thing for her.

"I wouldn't have to worry if you would just do what I tell you to do."

"Ya know, all the time I get this from you." She slurred, "You make me feel like I'm a little girl and I don't know what I'm doing. Well, ya know what, Batty Bat Bat, Bruuuuuuucy? Eeeeeveryone makes mistakes. I believe even in a not so sober state, I did still over power Selena. YOU"RE the one that called me last minute and wanted my help. I was willing to do that. But do I get any thanks? No."

"Alfred, please leave. I want to have a word with Ms. Myla."

I was beyond pissed and I think that Alfred could see that because he was not a cowardly man but even he looked frightened by the expression on my face.

"Yes sir, just call me when you need me." Then he swiftly exited the room.

"Myla. I am only going to say this once." I was using my calm voice to intimidate her. "I am Batman. You are the one who begged ME to help. You are the one that insisted, even after I warned you a thousand times about the consequences, that you wanted to free the world of crime. I didn't want you. Do you understand? You were drunk. You let the Joker escape. This debate will NEVER come up or I swear you will never do anything for me ever again."

That did it. I sent her over the top and she started balling. I didn't mean for it to come out quite so harshly but it needed to be said. I didn't think she would cry and now I felt ten times worse. The horrible part was that she didn't argue after that.

"Fine. I'm sorry I'm such a burden in everything that I do. Obviously you don't want me so I will leave. Goodbye Bruce."

"Myla-"

But it was too late; she had already left leaving me alone in the dark bat cave. I really hope she was drunk enough not to remember this by tomorrow but I have a feeling that this was more of a wish than anything.

Given her temper when I barely say anything, I knew that tomorrow was going to be hell.

That woman could move mountains.