First: THANK YOU FOR ALL OF MY REVIEWS! I'm so happy about that, you guys. If we can get to one hundred reviews on this story, I would die of excitement for this. (:
(The rest is at the bottom)
"Bella! Bella please wake up. Isabella, open your eyes, please," somebody was talking to me, I knew it. Pleading. But that wasn't the thing that scared me. It was the voice.
The voice. I would know it anywhere. One voice that caused my heart to rip into small, insignificant pieces that throbbed in agony with each long, painful rip. No, this voice didn't belong to a human; it belonged to an angel. An angel I thought I would never see again.
Or hear for that matter.
I peeled my eyes open, and my breath caught in my throat. I was in a car on the side of a road that I didn't recognize. But it wasn't my car. It was a Volvo. Snapping my eyes shut, I tried to breathe normally. No cigar.
The voiced had stopped now, and then I couldn't hear anything except my erratic heartbeat, and my own hysterical breathing, and even that sounded off. It was like my ears were plugged with cotton, or I had been swimming for hours and now I had water stuck in my head.
As I slowly drifted out of unconsciousness, I became more aware of the things around me. Therefore, I was reminded of the pain once again today. Ow. My ankle was throbbing, and my wrist felt… well it felt cold.
A question kept stabbing me in the side like an annoying thorn in my side. Why had I fainted?
I reluctantly opened my eyes to inspect my wrist that should be searing in pain along with my ankle, with hopes of getting my question answered. I looked at my ankle first; it hurt the most. I sighed angrily. My left foot was clad in an ace bandage.
"Alice saw… something, and I came prepared," the voice murmured almost silently, but it didn't stop me from jumping about a foot in the air, letting out a scream of terror.
Edward leaned over me in a millisecond, locking eyes with me, and wrapped an arm around my waist, pressing his other snowy hand to mouth before I could be heard, cutting off my scream. He gently pushed my body down against the seat again, and I realized bit by bit that he had just stopped me from banging my head on the low car ceiling.
Neither of us breathed as we sat there, frozen by each other's gazes. I finally sucked in a deep breath, and broke our stare. He hesitantly released me from his arms, sure that I was safe to sit in my own seat without causing harm to myself.
Well, my question was answered.
He had released all of me but my wrist, the one that was surely injured. It dawned on me. That was what was making my wrist feel cold. Edward held my wrist so delicately that I felt no pain at all. At least on my wrist. My heart was another matter.
Edward kept glancing down my wrist with worry clear in his eyes. "I think it's bruised and there's a break. I'll kill him," his voice came out as a hiss at that. I flinched away from the sharpness of his tone. Panic immediately swarmed in his eyes.
"It's going to be okay, Bella. I promise," he whispered, and he seemed to be reassuring himself also. I kept blinking; I felt like I needed somebody to throw a bucket of water on me. My thoughts we so hazy, I could barely form coherent thoughts.
Edward reached behind his seat at blinding speed that made me cower in my place, which instantly made him go at a slow human pace as he came up with a first aid kit. He was still holding my wrist in the other hand like the smallest movement and it would shatter.
Edward kept his eyes down as he slowly inspected my wrist closer, and I could see all of the stress in his movements, yet I felt no pain on my hand. That hole in my heart kept ripping and ripping with every second I was with him.
Rip.
Edward looked through the kit, but growled softly. Apparently he didn't have what he needed. He slowly released my wrist, and I let It fall limp in my lap. Mistake. I winced as it was jostled in the brace, and Edward growled very softly. I vaguely heard him hiss, "kill him," once again through the haze of pain and isolation.
"Mike?" I whispered so softly that I didn't even hear it.
Edward's eyes flashed up to my face in shock, obviously stunned that I had spoken. I met his gaze, trying to erase the suffering in my eyes.
Rip.
"He was drinking on school grounds. He heard the news and skipped third period to get the drinks and came back during lunch. I suppose somebody will find him soon enough and smell the alcohol." It took me a little while before I realized he was talking about Mike.
I gasped. "Mike? That's so… unlike him! Why?" I breathed, astonished, staring out the window, refusing to look at him now. It might be easier when he left if I didn't look at his face. Edward once again gazed at me, stunned.
"Humans do foolish things. And so do I…." he murmured this so softly, I was sure I just imagined it.
Rip.
I wanted him to just leave already. Make it easier. I didn't think that I would be able to get through this time. But I wanted my answer before he left and I was gone forever.
"Why?" was all I was able to manage out of unmoving lips. He understood completely.
A look of horror swept over his face "Alice saw you…" he didn't go on.
"What did she see?" I whispered, terrified by the anguish on his face.
"She saw you in a car crash," he choked out, dropping his head in his hands, torment lucid on his handsome face.
Rip.
Rip.
Silence.
My heart has no more room to rip. It's all gone….
"DAMMIT EDWARD!" I shouted, the sound scorching my dry throat. He actually jumped. Edward jumped in his seat. He stared at my furious face, in complete and utter shock.
"YOU COULDN'T JUST LET IT HIT ME?!" I shouted, livid. Edward didn't breathe. He didn't move. He just stared. I took deep breaths.
He couldn't just let it all be over? He doesn't want me, but he wants me to suffer? I had a chance out of this, and he blocks my way! I started to sob.
"Why couldn't you just let it hit me?" I asked again, whispering.
Edward looked like he could retch.
"You wanted it to hit you?" his voice knocked me off guard. It wasn't angry or mad. It was sad and torn and heartrending. I nodded feebly.
Then he did explode. There was the mad voice I was looking for. "YOU WANTED A CAR TO HIT YOU, BELLA! YOU WANTED TO DIE? WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AND BE HAPPY?" His words were like whips, making me flinch. Anger flared through my veins.
"Because I can't be HAPPY without you, Edward! YOU LEFT AND I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! IT WOULD BE EASIER TO BE HIT BY THAT CA AND NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY DAY!" I shouted, tears flowing down my face freely now.
I didn't stop to see his face.
"Thank you for everything," I whispered, jumping out of the car, cradling my wrist to my chest. I had literally a millisecond before I was being pressed to the car. Edward had both arms on either side of my head against the door, leaning forward staring at me with remorse written in bold all over his forehead. I was trapped. The stance he had over me sent unbearable memories flashing before my eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to go off at you. I was never mad at you, only myself. Never at you," his voice rang with fervent compunction and sincerity.
"Let me go," I murmured, trying not to look into his penetrating eyes that were boring holes on my face. I couldn't breathe. He was just so close. I felt faint again, my ears ringing. I wished that I had never gone to school for the millionth time today. I wished that I could go back to feeling absolutely nothing. But the deadness was slipping away with piercing finality.
"I can't. Not again," he whispered, his voice husky. My head snapped up.
"What?" I asked, suddenly intent. My head whirled at his closeness and the mystification. The pained look on his face
"Bella. I never meant what I said. When I told you that I didn't want you… it was an utter and blatant lie. It was the most painful, unbearable, grueling, excruciating, cruelest thing I'd ever had to endure in my entire existence. I could never ever not want you. I can't exist without you! ," he said this in such a rush I had to strain to catch it all.
I shook my head mechanically. No, he didn't want me. He never wanted me. No, no, no. "I don't understand," I mouthed. Edward looked determined.
"I have to be a good liar, Bella," he murmured. My breathing stopped mid breath, my teeth clenching as my vision blurred with automatic tears. I could still see his face, appalled as he caught my expression.
"No, Bella, no! I'm a decent enough liar, but you had believed me so quickly! I thought that if you accepted that I had moved on, then maybe you could too. If you lived in a world without me, then you could have a normal human life," he leaned over me urgently, trying to make me believe.
My mind dwelled on something he said, playing it over and over again.
If you thought I had moved on, then maybe you could too….
Maybe you could too….
"Clean break," I choked on my words. He nodded.
"It was far too easy…. But I lied to you. I'm so, so, so sorry that I couldn't protect you from myself. That I couldn't save you. I made it worse, leaving you. Getting into car crashes," he paused, flinching, "I'm so sorry," he whispered, grief drenched in his every word. But each single word was impossible.
"How could you not have trust in me, though? To think that I didn't love you?" he questioned desperately. I stared at the tree behind him, trying not to think. This wasn't happening.
"Bella?" Edward whispered. He slowly moved a hand from the side of my head to cup my face gently, moving it so that I looked at him. He stared into my eyes. "You don't believe me, do you?" he murmured, pain clear in his voice.
I shook my head. "It's too much! When you leave again, it will hurt too much! I can't believe you when you're going to leave again!" tears were falling down my cheeks uncontrollably now.
"Bella I will never leave you again. I can't. I can't be without you. Please believe me! I love you," he whispered the last three words so softly, brushing the tears from my face so tenderly, his black eyes burning with that warmth, that they were smoldering with such devotion, adoration, that it was impossible to ever doubt him, even for a second.
I sobbed, hiding my face in his shoulder, and wrapped my arms around his neck, forgetting my wrist. He enveloped me in his arms around my waist, burying his face in the crook of my neck, whispering my name. I pressed myself closer to him, never wanting to let go.
He raised his head and slowly pressed his lips to mine, seeming to completely forgetting the boundaries he had so carefully set. My head spun and my heart thumped erratically as I kissed him back, using my good hand to tangle my fingers in his soft hair.
I eventually had to pull away, gasping for air; Edward kissing down my jaw line.
I didn't notice that I had started crying again until Edward brushed the tears away with his lips. "What's wrong?" he asked, troubled. I smiled a little, resting my head on his shoulder.
"I missed you so much," I whispered, my voice thick with tears. Edward stroked my hair softly.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, anguish in his voice again. I shook my head, reaching up to kiss him. He cupped my face and kissed me back willingly, brushing the rest of the tears away with his thumb.
"I love you," he told me when he broke away, staring into my eyes.
"Forever," I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion.
He held me closer for a moment, breathing in deeply. "We should go to Carlisle to take care of your wrist," he murmured, stepping back and taking my hand, kissing it tenderly.
"Carlisle's here?" I asked, excitement flowing into my voice. He nodded, smiling. Then the next thing he said surprised me, making me laugh for the first time in the longest while.
"But first… I think you need to say sorry to Jessica Stanley."
Second: I'm sorry for any mistakes or if the ending was bad or if this sounded too much like New Moon. I really am. I HAD SERIOUS WRITER'S BLOCK AGAIN! GAH!
Third: The credit for knowing what medical attention Bella needed for her injuries belongs to IsabellaMarieCullen3214 for telling me. -round of applause-
Fourth: I hope the excuse for Mike wasn't too crappy. I really am sorry for that. -grimaces-
Fifth: (This is a freaking long list) Please review!