4.
(w najbliższym mieście każę obudzić dzwon)

The first thing Josh noticed when he woke up next morning was impression of being full of energy. It had been long - too long - since the last time he had opened his eyes with a feeling it was... okay. He lay in the warm bed, trying to recollect the events of the previous evening. And night. He was vaguely aware that something worth remembering had happened. It couldn't be about the amount of alcohol he had consumed, considerably exceeding that he had drunk during the whole year. It couldn't be about having spent a few hours partying, either; to tell the truth, it was the first stag party he'd ever participated in. 'And probably the last one,' he thought ironically. He had met some old friends, got to know some new people... And he even didn't have a significant headache.

Today was the Big Day - at least for Erwin. Speaking of which, had Erwin got up already? All in all, he had slept longer than Josh himself, having dropped off in the middle of the party already. Josh was sure his friend remembered nothing of having been transported home by Josh and Guillaume...

Ah.

Josh felt a hot wave creeping onto his face as he remembered his newest acquaintance - and the reason of his good mood. As all pieces were falling into their places, he had a funny feeling in his stomach. If he wasn't mistaken - and he apparently wasn't - Guillaume Azur had given him to understand... in a very direct way, too... he hoped for a more intimate and deeper relation. Slowly, Josh traced his lips, just like Guillaume had done it the last night in the corridor, before taking his leave.

Unexpectedly, yet very welcomely, he felt like smiling.

Memories of the last night were only pleasant. Warm and soft, and they seemed even more... velvety as he was lying here, in the bedding still hot after sleeping. He felt - although it was still too soon to draw such conclusions - as if he had found what he'd always been looking for: tenderness of another person. Or that it had found him.

Oh, surely he wasn't in love with Guillaume Azur, whom he hadn't even known until yesterday. Yet, he couldn't quite deny that... he hoped that... that maybe he had a chance to escape the loneliness to which he had, in a way, condemned himself. To experience some happiness resulting from the presence of another person by his side.

No, he wasn't going to fall in love. Only a few days ago he'd had the impression of no longer being capable of loving. He had been wounded too deeply to trust people just like this. And he definitely wasn't going to chase anyone. However, if Guillaume Azur wished to show the initiative - which he already had - why should Josh reject him? There was nothing wrong with engaging in new friendship - or even brief liaison. Even if, for Josh, it sounded abstract in and of itself.

He stretched himself and smiled, calling Guillaume's sight to mind. A head taller, at least, than Josh. And, it seemed, at least twice as broad in shoulders. No, he was exaggerating, of course - but if the two of them stood side by side, Josh would probably fade in comparison. In fact, Guillaume was quite slender and not excessively muscular; he was... just right. Josh supposed his body to be very athletic, not an ounce of fat on him. In addition, there was those blue eyes and mop of fair hair. Undoubtedly, he was one of the most appealing men Josh had ever met.

A sudden thought crossed his mind, 'Why someone like that took an interest in someone like me?' For a change, he tried to imagine himself in others' eyes, and it wasn't a complimentary opinion. Cecile had said he'd lost some weight, which was probably true. For the last year, he hadn't been eating a lot, nor very eagerly, so he had probably slimmed down indeed. Maybe even the clothes hung loose on him? Dark hair couldn't possibly grace him either, and his eyes of weird colour - yellow! - must have appeared even bigger. No, Josh didn't find himself appealing in the slightest. Then, how come such a stunner like Guillaume Azur had clapped eyes on him?

Maybe he likes yellow-eyed bones? his sense of humour, that seemed to have been sleeping for months, suggested.

'Maybe he does,' he agreed, trying to remember what Guillaume had told him in the first place. That Josh had guts. And that he hoped people thought something about them. And that he didn't like to wait. At the last one, Josh drove away a blush, trying not to think about their parting in the corridor. Or, actually, no. Why should he not think about it? The more he contemplated it, the more he realized it had been quite long since the last time something so nice had happened to him. Damn him, he was nineteen years old, yet all his erotic experience amounted to one kiss. Maybe it was high time to do more with another man, especially that the opportunity seemed to arise? What would have happened last night if Josh had agreed to what Guillaume had clearly desired?

Now, in the morning, lying in the bed, he came to the conclusion that normally would have at least surprised him: that he had nothing against an intimate tête-à-tête with Guillaume Azur. And he had already sobered up, so he couldn't blame alcohol for his such sensation. Maybe some part of him even regretted that last light... But, well, it was no use lamenting. He supposed another opportunity would arrive sooner he could expect, and that thought made him blush again.

The clock in the living-room struck ten, interrupting his reflection. The flat was still silent. He got up, took a quick shower and got dressed. The kitchen was empty, but there were sandwiches prepared, as well as a note left by Cecile. He smiled, reading, 'The first to get up please wake up the other. The wedding won't work without the groom and the best man. See you in the church! PS. Aspirin is in the cabinet, on the upper shelf.' Like always, she thought of everything.

Cecile had left to her parents to prepare for the ceremony. How it went? The groom wasn't allowed to see his bride before they met in church? Josh put on a kettle and took out two mugs, wondering how Cecile would look. Oh, certainly beautiful. He could bet that in the white dress and a veil she would resemble an angel, for she was capable of it, too. Her innocent look would deceive anyone... Josh knew nothing about feminine beauty, and thus he couldn't evaluate her, but they used to say there were no ugly women. And when he thought of Cecile, it was the positive energy she radiated that first came to his mind. In terms of inner beauty, she had no match. Now, after having known her for many years, the thought of Cecile made him smile. To think that they had used to fight all the time... No, it wasn't it; rather, they had used to tease one another. He realized, however, that now Cecile and Erwin were one in his mind; they belonged to each other and were inseparable. He could no longer imagine them apart. And, strangely enough, he had no regrets about it.

Waking Erwin up didn't proceed without difficulties. Erwin, still in the clothing - Josh had only taken his shoes off and covered with a blanket - was sleeping like a log, and it took five minutes to bring him round. Erwin opened his eyes, then closed them again, groaned and pulled the cover over his head.

"I think that, if you're late for your wedding, Cecile won't waste the opportunity and will grab someone from another pew instead," Josh suggested, making Erwin open one eye. "Come on. The sooner you get up, the more time you'll have for curing your hangover," he added mercilessly, pulling the blanket. "It's past ten, and you've slept longer than I anyway. Tea will be in a minute."

Erwin opened the other eye and levered himself up on his elbow. And then he groaned again. "Never let me drink so much," he said faintly.

"Which means?"

Erwin mused, a lost expression on his face. "Don't know," he replied finally. "I can't remember a thing? What was I doing, Josh?"

"Hmm... I'm not sure if you want to know," Josh answered seriously in a sudden inspiration.

Now Erwin was giving him an anxious look. Josh bit his lips. Apparently, it worked, for Erwin seemed to come alive. "Well? Say it!" the bridegroom urged him.

Josh straightened up and looked at him with a faked sternness. "When I came to take you home, you were twisted around Sir Freddy like a passionate lover, confessing your love to him and declaring you'll never marry that hag Cecile," he replied, trying to keep his countenance.

Erwin's eyes got round like saucers. "I... No..."

"Now you see what alcohol makes with a man... Your true nature was revealed, Erwin," Josh went on, nodding sadly. "Poor Cecile, she's not going to be happy when the one you'll take to the altar will be Freddy."

"What...?" Erwin uttered.

"You're lucky. Freddy was very pleased with your advances," Josh kept talking, now enthusiastic. "Just imagine, you're going to be the ruler's wife! No need to graduate or work, for that matter," he continued, for Erwin's expression just called for tease. "But you know, Erwin," he got serious again, "you could have told me... We would be a nice couple. We wasted so many years..."

Erwin sat up in the bed and simply stared for a while. And then he threw a pillow on Josh, who dodged it and burst out laughing.

"Josh, you wretch...! You're making fun of me!"

"Sure I am, silly," Josh replied and flopped onto the armchair, still laughing.

Erwin joined him, but his laugh turned into another moan soon enough. "I need aspirin," he said in a pained voice, clutching his head.

"Come, I can hear water's boiling," Josh said, getting up. "Cecile prepared us sandwiches. I bet there's a salad in the fridge, too."

"For me just tea. Strong tea," Erwin stressed. "No sugar."

Josh nodded. Erwin dragged himself out of bed and went to the bathroom, where he poured water into the tub. Then he returned to the kitchen and sat down by the table. Josh passed him the infused tea - Erwin got down to it at once, despite it still being hot - and sat down opposite to him. For a moment, he just regarded his friend. It seemed Erwin started to realize what day was today.

"And, how do you feel?" Josh asked quietly.

Erwin put the mug down. Holding it with his long fingers, he stared in the distance. Then his gaze focused on Josh. "I don't know," he replied, aware Josh wasn't asking for his physical condition. "I've been waiting for this day for so long, yet now... I can't believe it's really happening."

Josh nodded. He thought he could imagine it. The best about the dreams is waiting for them to be fulfilled - not fulfilling itself. He didn't mean that marrying Cecile wasn't something special to Erwin; surely it was, but... Someone had once said that the happiness wasn't a goal only a path towards it. Now Josh thought it made sense.

"Actually, when did you decide you'd get married?" he asked rather shyly.

Erwin shrugged. "When I want to be romantic, which I rarely do, I say that the moment we met," he said, trying to sound ironic.

However, Josh knew it was true. In case of Erwin and Cecile it was love at the first sight. Cecile had once said that when you could hear a bell ringing upon meeting someone, it was a fated meeting. And it seemed that the bell had rung when the three of them had run into one another for the first time, in the street just outside the walls of Saint Grollo. Suddenly, Josh realized he had been accompanying them - and their affair - right from the start. It filled him with some warmth. If he wanted to be romantic himself - which he used to much more often than Erwin, although not necessarily recently - he would say he had become their Cupid. After all, it was him who had pushed Cecile in Erwin's arms, literally.

"It was... in the junior high school already," he said, thinking aloud.

"Over five years ago," Erwin added, sipping his tea.

Josh mused. Just like with Saphir and Jade, whenever he thought of Erwin and Cecile he couldn't but marvelled at the fact they had been together for so long. As for himself, some time ago he had come the conclusion he wasn't fit for relationship... But, wait, he had decided not to ruminate over it. Especially that he had something good in prospect. He drove away a blush.

"Um, Erwin...?" the opportunity was as good as ever.

"Mhm?"

"That student council president of yours... Guillaume... What can you say about him?" he asked hesitantly.

"Guillaume?" Erwin mused. "Hmm, he's okay. You met him yesterday, didn't you?"

"Yeah... I did. In fact, it was him who helped me to carry you home."

"Oh... Well, he's the type you can count on," Erwin replied in a tone as if it explained everything. Maybe it did. "Anyway... Thanks, Josh. I overdid it..." he added apologetic.

Josh waved his hand. "Come on, you'd do the same for me."

"Sure... Unless I get drunk first, ha ha..."

"Getting back to Guillaume though..." Josh steered the conversation towards the desirable topic. "He seems nice. And I can't deny he's a handsome devil."

Erwin, who had been nodding for a while, now focused his eyes on Josh, giving him the first sharp look that morning. "Josh, you couldn't possibly-"

"On, Erwin. Come on. Don't jump to conclusions based on my single statement."

But Erwin's gaze clearly said he did. And it seemed to Josh he could see some... hope in his friend's eyes. Ah. Erwin certainly wanted to hear that Josh was thinking of someone again. That he had left the past and was looking ahead again. And Josh would gladly tell him so - if he knew it for sure. For now, however... The only he knew was that another man had expressed some interest in him and that maybe he would respond to it. That was all. Maybe he did feel hot at the memory of Guillaume's touch on his face... but nothing more. There was no rupture to it, and it was so different from the past, when a sole thought of beloved person made him feel dizzy and want to embrace the whole world. That was... so immature. Almost silly. Hopelessly romantic.

While there was no place for it in life. At least not in his life.

He realized Erwin was still observing him closely. He shook his head. "Erwin, I really-"

"Has anything happened between the two of you?" Erwin didn't let him finish the hastily made up excuse. "It's not a secret that Guillaume likes... guys. Ah, I should have thought of it earlier."

"Thought of what, Erwin?"

"Of making a match of you two."

Josh blinked. He hadn't expected Erwin to use such an expression. That Erwin felt obliged... well, maybe not exactly obliged... felt some need to... help Josh in his love life? And it had been only a minute ago that Josh had been thinking of the same in the context of himself and Erwin and Cecile. Funny.

"But I see you did well without me."

"Erwin, I really think it's too early to say things like this."

"Josh, no use acting. I can see that spark in your eyes. I haven't seen it in a while. And, believe me, I'm very happy about it," Erwin assured him.

Josh kept silent. It seemed Erwin already had a theory about his relationship with Guillaume. Josh didn't have the heart to put him straight but didn't want to be dishonest either. "Erwin, honestly, we have just met," he said truthfully. "True, Guillaume seems to want a more... intimate relationship with me," he disclosed.

"And how do you feel about it?" Erwin asked outright.

"I... I'm not sure. But it... wouldn't be anything wrong, would it?" Josh said hesitantly.

Erwin was looking at him intently. "No, Josh," he replied finally. "If that's what you want. Like I said, Guillaume is... okay. Or, at least..." He paused.

"At least what?" Josh inquired.

"At least I don't consider him as someone who's going to break your heart," Erwin finished.

Josh felt a well-known pang in the chest. The thought of Alain still pained him, even if he didn't want to think of him. He should think of something pleasant. Maybe that new... affair would cure his melancholy? Maybe Guillaume Azur would help him forget about sadness, help him come back to life? It didn't seem impossible. Maybe Josh would be able to laugh with him and perceive the world in bright colours again?

He nodded. "It's good to know," he said. "But now we should focus on your happiness, Erwin," he added vigorously. "Your bath is waiting."

Erwin nodded and got up. He wasn't groaning any more, so the tea must have worked. He went to the bathroom, never mentioning of aspirin. Josh helped himself to the salad and sandwiches, unable to remember the last time he had been so hungry.

The day was hot, but it was nicely cool in the church. The sun was coming inside through the high windows, lighting the interior up and imparting glory to the ceremony. Erwin had managed to smarten himself up and was now standing in the front pew and waiting for his bride. In the grey tails he looked very stylish, although his hair was tousled as usual. He seemed a bit nervous but happy as well. People used to say that wedding is the best event in every woman's life, but Josh was sure it was Erwin's case too. Sure, of them three it was Erwin who had his feet firmly on the ground, while Josh and Cecile had their heads in the clouds - but what of it? Today he was entering a new stage in life, and it was important to him as much as it would to anyone in his shoes.

On the opposite site sat Cecile's mother, radiating happiness and shedding tears of joy. She was accompanied by Eugette, Cecile's best friend asked to be her Maid of Honour, and Erwin's mother, whom Josh had met for the first time. Mrs Maria Argue, a frail older lady, was of poor health and didn't leave home, but there was no way she wouldn't be present at her son's wedding. She had an air of serenity and proud to her, and the cobweb of wrinkles around her eyes made her even more beautiful. She seemed a very nice person, although the overall picture of Erwin's family was peculiar at the very least. Josh tried to put together what Erwin had told him. Erwin had one brother, much older than himself and apparently a playboy, who, after a few years of marriage, had abandoned his wife and left home, and was not heard of any more. Erwin had a very vague memory of him, as well as of his father, who had died when he'd been still a little child. Margot had stayed with her mother-in-law, with time becoming her daughter and closest friend and accompanying her when Erwin had left to study in Idealo. Margot was sitting in the nest pew, tall and slender, with her hair pinned up. Her face was shut, even stern, and the look of her grey eyes was penetrating. She didn't seem a person one could easily make friends with, but Josh thought he could understand her. At least, to some extent.

Behind them sat Cecile's numerous cousins, a little too noisy and excited - but they were excused since it was a happy event, after all. Even more backwards were Erwin's and Cecile's friends. Sir Freddy seemed he hadn't yet recovered after the libation, and maybe it was only Josh's imagination that Erwin cast him an alarmed glance. For his part, Josh's heart skipped a beat when his gaze caught the tall figure of Guillaume, who greeted him with a nod and smiled. Josh smiled back and stopped looking around, focusing on his shoes instead. The organist was warming up and preparing his instrument to perform flawlessly in due time.

At long last, as the bell struck three o'clock, the church resounded with powerful music of pipe organ, and Cecile entered, being escorted by her father. Their pace slow, Raymond Perle and his daughter were going down the aisle, and Josh, even from afar, could see both of them were very moved. Cecile's chest was bouncing, her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes glistened like stars. She was absolutely stunning in her white dress, with hair pinned up and held by a tiara, with a veil trailing behind her. Two youngest of her cousins served as pages, following her now and holding white fabric, serious expressions only children are capable of on their faces. Erwin was looking at her spellbound, and he had all right to be.

Josh couldn't hold back a smile, but suddenly felt he was pretty moved himself. He was under the impression he had only now realized what was happening. No wonder Erwin had been so mixed-up, almost scared, in the morning. The church, sound of organ, flowers - all that contributed to the solemn atmosphere. And maybe Josh would never experience it himself - ah, he would never experience - but now he was so close to it as possible. He was next to his best friend and could almost touch his happiness. Mrs Perle was still sobbing, Mrs Argue appeared to be fighting the tears, Eugette was smiling warmly, and even Margot's expression softened. Amidst that all, Erwin was standing erect and looking at his bride, who in turn looked at him, and it seemed that the world ceased existing for the two of them.

Finally, Mr Perle 'gave' his daughter to the groom - Josh saw the last grip of Cecile's hand on her father's arm - and the couple approached the altar, with Josh and Eugette behind their backs. The organ played the closing chord, and then fell silence, still vibrating with sound. The ceremony started.

Josh didn't know how long it lasted. The priest was speaking, asking and being answered. Erwin and Cecile exchanged their vows. The Maid of Honour and the Best Man witnessed. The organist occasionally accentuated those significant declarations with music. The sun slowly moved over the altar, and one could see the particles of dust in the air. The atmosphere of joy - so pure it seemed holy - filled the church to the rim.

And then it was all over. The newly-weds kissed, hidden behind the veil from the curious looks, Wedding March resounded and they left to the church square to be showered with congratulations and wishes, embraces and tears of joy. Josh was first to hug Erwin, as tight as he could, and only with this gesture trying to convey his feeling, for his throat was clenched, but it was fine as Erwin was unable to utter a word, too. He was so happy... He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy; he hadn't expected he was still able to. Then he hugged Cecile, who hugged him back, her eyes glistening, her lips trembling... Never before had she looked so beautiful. And then she disappeared in the arms of her mother, father, mother-in-low and friends. Just like Erwin. Laughter, breaking voices, unfinished sentences, shaking hands, slapping on the backs... Guillaume appeared next to Josh, effusive as ever. Josh felt dizzy, but it was such a positive dizziness. The faces of people seemed all friendly, all of them suddenly familiar and welcoming. The warm light of afternoon was soothing the outlines, and one could be under the delusion there was no evil in the world.

The wedding party was held in the inn outside the town. Mr Perle spared no expense when his only daughter - his only child - was concerned. He had paid for transportation of guests, too. The feast awaiting them truly suited a princess; Josh had never seen such abundance of dishes and desserts. He let himself be carried away by the festivity, laughed and ate, drank wine and danced with Eugette, Cecile's cousins and even - when it got late and most of guests were tight already - with Guillaume, who didn't leave his side.

The man's gaze was getting even more intense, and Josh was answering it even more daringly. He couldn't resist the impression he was vibrating all over. It was likely that newly-weds weren't the only ones to lost their virginity tonight, he thought absurdly... The party was still on, but Josh supposed that the real feast would start when they were finally one-to-one, a feast for the two of them. Josh was looking forward to it - and growing impatient...

When late in the evening Erwin, this time careful with alcohol, took him aside, they hugged once more.

"Josh... You can't imagine how happy I am," Erwin said, flushed. "I'd like... If only I could share this happiness with you."

Josh shook his head. "Don't worry about me. Think of yourself. And Cecile," he replied. "It's your day. Erwin, I'm so glad. Really... I didn't expect it to be so fantastic," he said, still excited.

"Use our house however you want. Please, stay until we're back. We haven't seen each other in a while... And you're going to go back to Paris soon, too," Erwin's voice broke. "We want to spend more time with you."

Josh felt like exploding from the warmth filling him. "For now, you have to enjoy yourselves. I'll stay, I promise. We'll see again once you're back," he promised.

"And... Josh," Erwin apparently wasn't finished. "If it's going to work out with Guillaume, then... it's good. You deserve it, more than anyone," he said in a low voice.

"Erwin, I can't imagine having better friend than you," Josh replied, blinking, for his eyes were stinging.

They embraced again, this time staying longer like that and taking pleasure in each other's presence.

"Erwin, Josh! I don't believe my eyes!" Cecile stood in the doorway, pointing at them accusingly, but the corners of her lips were twitching, and her faked indignation was sounding with laughter. "Or I'm going to look for another husband."

"I told him you would when he confessed his love to Frederic Argent yesterday," Josh threw.

"Josh!"

"What?! Ah, whatever... I don't want to hear about it." Cecile came closer and slipped one hand under Erwin's elbow. "It's time," she added in a softer voice.

The look her husband gave her would outshine the stars.

"Have a nice trip," Josh said, though it seemed they had forgot about him completely.

However, Cecile looked at him warmly and embraced him tenderly. "I wish I could attend your wedding one day," she said seriously. "But... I suppose it's not possible," she added with a chuckle. "Or, maybe, there is a country where guys can marry?"

"To tell the truth... I've no idea," Josh replied, trying to overcome a dizziness. "If so, be sure I'll invite you."

"Look for a candidate, then," Cecile urged him and then, hesitantly, she kissed him on the cheek.

The next moment they were gone. Josh was staring at the dark corridor and wondered why her words had brought to his mind a face with blue eyes and impish smile.

In next town, I'll have the bell wake up - "Ratujmy, co się da", Budka Suflera