Tony closed the door, still feeling dizzy as he dropped down onto the sofa and grabbed the remote control. He lay down and turned the TV on, flipping through the channels to see if anything interesting was happening. Nothing was. He sighed and turned onto his back, switching his TV off again. How had it all come to this? Why couldn't he just be like before? Just...deflect it. He had always taken pride in being able to deal with anything. But 'anything' came at a price. This was that price. The stress had taken it's toll on him, and he would just have to wait it out. To wait until his body decided that food was acceptable again. And the anger. Anger was just...a useless emotion really. It didn't do anyone any good. Anger was a useless waste of his time, but he couldn't stop himself.

"What HAVE you gotten yourself into this time dear boy?" he mimicked Ducky's accent. The man had acted more like his father than his father ever had. Ducky cared, Tony knew that, but he didn't want him to care. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. He wanted to be that invisible man again. The one he was back in Baltimore. No one noticed when he just disappeared from work. The Chief had grunted when he said he resigned. Tony doubted the man even knew who he was even though he had brought down several major drug dealer's and murderer's. Tony snorted. It hadn't been good, but it hadn't been bad either. But then he'd come to DC. He'd settled. He had come to trust Gibbs, Ducky, Abby. Even McGee and Kate were getting there. They had come too close. He had promised himself a long time ago that no one would be trusted ever again. He couldn't even trust himself anymore. It was obvious that Gibbs didn't trust him. I need alcohol, Tony thought. Or maybe that wasn't a good idea. Not when Ducky would be coming over later. After he leaves, Tony promised himself. His phone rang eagerly. He looked at the caller ID. Abby.

"Nope," Tony said and pushed the silence button, placing the phone back on the table, watching the display light up every second, the vibration sending it dancing over the table. Then it ended and Tony sighed in relief. It rang again and Tony groaned. He klicked the little red button, ending Abby's call. It rang again and Tony cursed, the woman would not just give UP! He hit the cancel button again and again, ending each and every call from her, refusing to talk to her. The phone buzzed twice rapidly, indicating a message. He sighed, opening the SMS.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me? I'll bring chocolate?"

Tony snorted. The last thing he wanted was something to eat, even if it WAS chocolate. He turned off the phone. He knew he was pushing her away, he might never even speak to her again, but he had to do it. First DiNozzo rule, never trust anyone, Tony thought to himself. He twisted onto his side and picked up the remote, turning the tv back on. He flipped to Cartoon Network, seeing that it was old re-run's of Bugs Bunny. He placed the remote on the table and watched Bug's once again outsmarting Elmer. Usually, he and Abby would discuss the law's of physic's concerning the show, but he wasn't in the mood to be in the same room as her. He was officially on sickleave now, and they would just have to deal with it, as he had to deal with it himself. He groaned loudly as his landline rang insistently.

"This is Tony. Speak. BEEP."

"Tony, I know you hate me really really really really much right now, but I just want to know that you made it okay and isn't passed out somewhere in your apartement. Call me, okay? Uhm...bye..." she hung up and Tony refused to call her even though his mind was telling him to. He tried concentrating on the cartoon's but it wasn't doing him any good. He was exhausted, and all he wanted to do was fall asleep. Maybe he could sleep this off. Maybe, if he slept a little, everything would just disappear and be okay when he woke up? He yawned, he was after all, very tired. He closed his eyes and was just about to fall asleep when his landline rang again and he groaned angrily.

"God damnit!" he cursed loudly.

"This is Tony. Speak. BEEP."

"Okay, I'm officially worried, Tony! I'm coming over if you don't call me within the next five minutes! You there? Tony pick up so I know that you're not passed out, dead, eaten by a shark, worked over by a loan shark, killed by clown's, chastisised by dwarves, devoured by poodles, and so on. Come on Tony, I know you're there. Just...press a number if you're okay and don't want to talk to me, okay? I just wanna know that you're alive?"

Tony struggled dizzily onto his feet and walked over to the phone, picking it up and pressing a number.

"Okay...thank you. I'll...stop calling you now. I love you Tony. Don't forget that. I only slightly maybe broke my promise a little to help you. I tried stopping Gibbs from breaking into your computer and I've blocked all his access codes. He's hounding McGee for it now, calling everything Voodoo and raising hell. I think he really hates himself for what he did. Miss you. Bye." she hung up and Tony placed the phone back in it's holder. He stumbled back to the sofa. He felt the old familiar sense of guilt snuggling deep into his chest. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. She had only meant to help...but then again, she had pinkie sweared. He pushed the guilt deeper down, repressing the urge to call her, pushing it into the deepest, furthest corner of his mind, locking the door, and throwing away the key. His body was aching now, and he felt the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He blinked heavily just as the cartoon ended and another began.

"Don't trust anyone," he mumbled to himself and closed his eyes. He fully intended to sleep, but he quickly found he couldn't. He opened his eyes with a sigh. Thoughts were racing through his mind, thoughts he hadn't thought sinse he was in Baltimore. He was expendable. Like Vance had said, he could quickly be replaced. McGee was probably sitting behind Tony's desk right now, laughing all the way. Abby had tried to comfort him, probably by lying to him. Gibbs was just pissed that he didn't know the extent of things. He knew, though, and that was partly why he was spread all over his sofa, twisting and turning, trying to grasp a sleep that wouldn't come.

"Damnit DiNozzo," Tony sighed, "Get a grip!" he growled to himself and jumped when the phone rang again. "DAMNIT!" Tony cursed loudly. He walked over to the phone and picked up, not saying a word, blinking away the dancing black spots that had suddenly appeared.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs's voice came through the phone. Tony sat down on the floor in order not to pass out. "You okay? Do I need to come over?"

"I'm okay Boss," Tony said, surprising himself when warmth flooded his body at Gibbs's gentle tone. The man had betrayed his trust, yelled at him, slapped him in the back of his head more times that he could count, and obviously didn't trust him, but he still wanted Gibbs's praise. Pathetic.

"Tony...can I come over?" Gibbs's question caught him completely off guard. Usually, Gibbs would've just come over and let himself in, sitting in the livingroom until Tony would be so pissed that they fought hand to hand for a while before Gibbs let him just take his anger out on him. The mere fact that Gibbs was asking this time, meant more to Tony than he thought it would.

"I don't think that's a good Idea Boss," Tony sighed. Say yes! his mind screamed at him.

"I can cook?" Gibbs asked. Cook? Gibbs NEVER cooked for his team.

"Boss, I-"

"Tony, I'm BEGGING you, just let me come over there and take care of you for a while. We'll just eat something or watch a movie. Whatever you want to do. Please," Gibbs said. Tony sat, gaping. Had Gibbs just said please?

"I...need to think about it. Bye Gibbs," Tony said and hung up. He swallowed, fully expecting Gibbs to call back and chew him out for hanging up on him. When that didn't happen, he felt strangely disappointed. Gibbs had been nice to him, and Tony didn't know if he should feel happy that Gibbs cared or fear for loosing his job. He chewed on his bottom lip for a while before crawling back onto the sofa. Gibbs just wanted to be nice to him, but he couldn't stand the thought of being near the man that caused him so much pain. You love him, his mind said and Tony ignored it. Go on, invite him over. Tell him. You know you wanna. His mind repeated it over and over. "Oh shut UP!" Tony growled at his thoughts when he heard the door open and a confused Ducky stood in the doorway.

"Arguing with yourself Anthony?" Ducky asked. Tony sat up quickly, nearly falling back down, waiting for the dizzy spell to pass. "I see you still haven't eaten anything?" Ducky scolded him gently. He closed the door, removed his coat, hat, and shoes, before coming over to sit on the sofa. "Something on your mind?" Ducky asked.

"Gibbs said please," Tony said. Ducky said nothing. "He begged me to be allowed to come over. What's going on here Ducky? I really want him to come over but at the same time I get physically ill just from the thought!" Tony sighed.

"Well, dear boy, there's no wonder you're conflicted," Ducky said, "He does treat you like , crap, as one would say about his behaviour towards you, but you do admire him, a-"

"I love him," Tony blurted out. Ducky said nothing. "Aren't you going to say anything?" Tony prompted after an akward silence following his statement.

"It's not really a surprise Anthony," Ducky said and Tony looked at him. "You're staying even though you're practicly the best Agent NCIS has. You could have had your own team long ago," Ducky said. "But you stayed."

"I stayed," Tony sighed. "I stayed even though I knew it would tear me apart. I stayed because of him. I stayed because he...needed me. He doesn't, anymore. He doesn't even trust me," Tony sighed, eyes darknening.

"Oh but he does, dear boy," Ducky smiled as he pulled out his stetoschope, "Shirt up," Ducky said and Tony hoisted his shirt up.

"How can you say he trust me when he went through my computer?" Tony asked. Ducky looked at him.

"No talking, deep breath," Ducky said and listened for a while. He removed the stetoschope from his ears and Tony pulled his shirt down again. "He went through your computer out of concern, not because he doesn't trust you. He cares a great deal about you Anthony," Ducky smiled and patted Tony's thigh. "I think you should call him," Ducky said with a small smile.

"I dunno Ducky...what if he just comes to chew me out?" Tony asked. Ducky stood up.

"Well, ultimately it's you choice Anthony, I just think you'd be surprised to learn about this side of Jethro. He's been hell at work today ever sinse you went home," Ducky winked at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tony asked.

"Just wait until Caitlin calls you. And Timothy. They'll be begging for you to come back to work soon," Ducky chuckled and opened the door. "I'll lock up after myself. I will see you tomorrow Anthony," Ducky smiled and closed the door, locking it. Tony looked at the phone, debating his options. He walked over to the phone and picked it up, dialling the familiar number. He picked up during the first half of the first ring, almost as he'd been waiting for the call.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked. He sounded worried.

"Yeah...about the cooking and the movie thing...you can come over," Tony said.

"I'll see you when I've gone shopping," Gibbs said.

"Uhm...sure, could you lock yourself in though? Don't wanna move around too much," Tony said and yawned.

"Sure. Bye Tony," Gibbs said and hung up. Tony frowned at his phone. Gibbs said bye now? Never mind the please earlier, Gibbs was concerned. It felt good. It felt good that he finally gave a shit about him and Tony stumbled back to the sofa, a small smile playing at his lips as butterflies spread their wings in his stomach.

Gibbs was coming.

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AN: Oh my GOD you guys! I've been nominated for a NCIS Fanfiction Award! :D Tony's computer has been nominated people! That's so awesome! Thank you :D I'm totally grinning like a maniac right now, lol :D AWESOMENESS! THANK YOU! :D