A/N: ok so I was fan fiction-deprived for almost the whole weekend): but I decided at like almost one in the morning to finish typing this chapter(: hope you all enjoy!
'Well I tried to live without you, the tears fall from my eyes. I'm alone and I feel empty, God I'm torn apart inside' - Miley Cyrus, "Stay"
"Ghost-y enough for you James?" his voice rang throughout the room, having somewhat of an echo to it. James and Carlos looked around the room, still unable to see him. Whether or not they accepted Kendall's returned, this was going to take some getting used to.
"Carlos, for the tenth time, this is NOT like A Christmas Carol!" Kendall exasperatedly rolled his eyes and dropped his head into his palms. "I'm not here to teach you to be good to others- you already know that!"
"So is this your unfinished business?" Carlos asked.
James groaned. "Why are you relating this to every ghost movie you've seen?"
The three boys were at the Garcia house and Kendall was trying to convince the two of them that he wasn't an "evil ghost" and they weren't "going crazy", and it wasn't entirely easy.
"Ooh!" Carlos said suddenly. "Remember when we all watched Ghost a couple of years ago, and Kendall cried?"
"I wasn't crying!" Kendall insisted, blushing. "There was something in my eyes! And it was allergy season-"
"In the middle of winter?" James smirked. James didn't know if he was willing to believe Kendall's reappearance, but he did know that sitting here with Kendall made him feel the best he had felt in months. And he didn't care if it meant that he could possibly be crazy.
"Shut up!" Kendall mumbled.
"You also cried when we watched Three Days." Carlos added.
"Well that's was cry-worthy!" Kendall cried. "And James was crying too!"
"We-we're not talking about me now, are we?" James stuttered out, blushing furiously.
Carlos chuckled, but his smile faded after a few moments.
"What's wrong Carlitos?" Kendall asked.
"I miss you Kendall." Carlos muttered, looking down at his hands in his lap. "It's not the same, and it's not ok that you're gone."
Kendall sighed, his expression suddenly somber. "I didn't want to leave you guys." he whispered. "I just couldn't help it."
"We get it." James said before he could continue. "You had cancer and there wasn't anything you, or any of us, could do but… it still shouldn't have been this way. You promised us forever, man, and you broke your promise."
"Hey." Kendall put his hand on James's knee and the brunette boy looked up, his hair hiding his face. Kendall reached over to brush his hair away but he flinched back. Sighing, Kendall ran the offending hand through his own hair and cleared his throat. "I know I broke my promise but consider this my second chance at redeeming myself." he said.
"Yeah but you're gonna end up leaving us again aren't you?" Carlos asked.
"Only, and only after, the three of you guys are stable enough to have me gone." Kendall said. "I mean, if I up and left now you guys would be really messed up, like more than before. But after I help you all head, you'll be ok. And I'll have to leave. I won't like it, but it's what I'll have to do, because one day you won't need me around."
"That's not true Kendall." James said sharply. "We'll always need you."
"But after this wound heals you won't need me as much." Kendall said gently. "You'll be able to live your lives again."
"I hope your right about this." Carlos muttered.
"I know I'll be right when James stops trying to jump off roofs." Kendall stated, giving his taller friend a 'look'.
"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?" James sighed.
"Nope." Kendall replied, popping the 'p'. James smirked slightly and rolled his eyes. "Do you think Logan's gonna come around and accept this Kendall's-back thing?" the blonde boy asked, a sudden uncertainty in his tone.
James and Carlos both sighed and shrugged. "You know how Logie is." Carlos said after a moment of silence. "If it can't be explained in a text book, he has a hard time believing it." Kendall sighed. "But I'm sure we can get him to come around soon." Carlos added quickly.
"Yeah." Kendall muttered. There was a silence among the three boys.
"So can you do any ghost-y tricks?" James asked.
Kendall smirked. "Blink." he said. James and Carlos both exchanged confused glances and looked back at Kendall. "Trust me. Close your eyes for a second and open them." confused the two boys shut their eyes and snapped them open almost immediately after. When they did, Kendall was no longer in the room. He had disappeared.
"Ghost-y enough for you James?" his voice rang throughout the room, having somewhat of an echo to it. James and Carlos looked around the room, still unable to see him. Whether or not they accepted Kendall's returned, this was going to take some getting used to.
It had been a week since Kendall's death and the boys decided to return to school. James and Carlos were better off than most people expected. Granted, they were still sad and confused over Kendall's death but having his 'spirit' around to help them out, they were…decent, to say the least. Logan, who still refused to accept that Kendall could have returned, just shut down. He barely spoke or ate, and he never wanted to do anything. He was slowly slipping into a depression and James, Carlos, and Kendall weren't sure what to do about it.
Most of the school day had been a blur, especially to Carlos. All of his teachers expressed their condolences to him and excused him from the school work he had missed, but still helped him to get caught up. The students, however, weren't the same; they barely said anything to him. Fearful that they could spark a breakdown from Carlos by just mentioning Kendall's name they avoided all topics of his death best they could. Carlos was grateful when lunch had rolled around; he was finally with Logan and James and he could think straight, and get some food in his system at the same time. He walked into the cafeteria alone, looking for his best friends when someone tugged on his hoodie.
"Hey, Carlos.". He turned around and saw Jo Taylor standing behind him, a sullen look in her eyes but a slight smile on her face. Jo had a friend of the boys since she moved to Minnesota freshman year and the object of Kendall's affection ever since. Carlos and her weren't the best of friends, mostly because they contrasted so much, but he still talked to her whenever she wanted to talk to him. She was ok for the most part, but there was a rumor about her- and the main reason why Kendall hadn't tried to peruse his crush any further- that she was making it through high school on her back. A lot of guys on the hockey team had bragged about "being" with her, but Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and James were never sure if that was true or not seeing as how they didn't care enough to ask. But nonetheless, Jo's infamous reputation intimidated Kendall enough to not want to ask her out, even though it was painfully obvious he liked her.
"Hey Jo. What's up?" he watched over her shoulder as James tried to coax Logan into eating some lunch.
"Nothing. Look, I wasn't going to say anything at first but I sorta changed my mind last minute. Anyway, what I'm getting at is I'm really, really sorry… you know, about Kendall. It's really awful." Jo was one of those girls who rambled when she was nervous.
Carlos smiled politely. "Thanks Jo."
Jo nodded and looked down at her cuticles, the only visible part of her arm seeing as the sleeves of her tight black V-neck were long and covered most of her hands. "S-so, uh… I know this is gonna be pretty weird since we don't, like, talk and all but…" Jo finally lifted her head up to look at Carlos. The Latino boy searched her face; all he saw was unshed tears in her blue eyes. "C-can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, sure." Carlos replied. "What's up."
Jo looked around. "Not here, too many people staring." Jo grabbed his arm and gently led him out of the cafeteria. Carlos glanced over his shoulder to see Logan and James watching him curiously. Carlos widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows as a silent way to say he had no idea what was going on. Jo led him down a long hallway and to one of the stairwells. There was an emergency exit and Jo simply pushed it open as if it was a door to a classroom and she wasn't breaking a major school rule.
"The alarm hasn't been fixed in months." she explained to Carlos as he walked outside after her. "But no one knows that it's broken."
"How do you know?" Carlos asked, curious.
"Mercedes." Jo shrugged, referring to the self-centered rich blonde who worked in the front office and knew everything about everything. Jo smirked slightly and Carlos smiled upon seeing something near to a genuine smile on her face. "Girl can't keep her mouth shut to save her life."
"That's for sure." Carlos chuckled. He turned around in a slow circle, looking around outside until the sound of a match lighting snapped him out of his thoughts.
"You smoke?" he asked incredulously. Jo had never struck him as a smoker.
Jo shrugged and took a drag, obviously uninterested in the topic. Carlos took the time to really look at Jo. Back in freshman year, she always had her hair pulled back, revealing her bright, makeup covered face. Now she just lets it hang, most of the time covering her face, which was makeup free now. It fell to about her shoulders, almost straight but not quite. She was still cute but she had taken on a 'I really don't care how I look' attitude and appearance. She wasn't dolled up like most of the girls in their grade; she dressed casually, usually in army boots, skinny jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt. She was starting to look like somebody else and it made Carlos feel bad. She had changed right under his nose and he hadn't even taken notice to it. He assumed it was back when Kendall had first gotten sick.
"She smokes?"
'Speak of the devil' Carlos thought, after the initial shock of Kendall randomly popping up next to him went away.
"You ok?" Jo asked, taking notice of Carlos flinching.
"Yeah, just paranoid." he replied, a small smile on his face.
"Since when does Jo smoke?" Kendall asked him. When Jo looked away from him Carlos shrugged and Kendall had a forlorn look on his face. "She's not even Jo anymore." he mumbled sadly.
"I know." Carlos muttered in reply.
"What?"
"I said, what's up? I mean, what did you wanna talk about?" Carlos asked.
Jo sighed and took another drag from her cigarette, looking off into the distance. "It's about Kendall." she finally said. "I miss him."
"We all do Jo." Carlos said, a feeling of sadness taking over him immediately.
Jo nodded, keeping her stare fixated on whatever she was looking so intently at. "I… I don't even know what to do anymore." she whispered. "It's so hard without him here…. Seeing him everyday, talking to him…" tears began filling up in her eyes but she blinked them back.
Carlos glanced briefly at Kendall, who hadn't taken his eyes off of her. "What are you trying to say Jo?" he asked slowly.
Jo sniffled and dropped her cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with her boot. Tears started falling down her cheeks. "Ok, so I know you have a lot to deal with right now, seeing as you just buried your best friend a week ago but I needed somebody to talk to." she was speaking to the floor at this point, unaware that Carlos- and Kendall- were watching her, silently encouraging her to continue. Jo took a deep breath and looked up at Carlos. "I think I might've loved him." she said, her voice cracking with emotion.
"What?" Carlos and Kendall exclaimed at the same time, except Kendall screamed the word while Carlos whispered it.
Jo sniffled again and crossed her arms across her chest, a sudden chill wrapping itself around her body like a blanket. "I know it sounds crazy, and I know I have that reputation as a whore or whatever, but Kendall was just different. He didn't look at me like the other guys did, like someone to just hook up with. He looked at me like I was a human being, like I was worth something."
"Oh Jo." Carlos sighed. He walked towards her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug. She was stiff at first but she gradually returned the hug. Carlos lifted his head up over her shoulder and saw that Kendall had moved to behind her. He was leaning against the brick wall of the school, a look of confusion and shock on his face.
"I'm sorry I'm dumping all of this on you." Jo said, pulling away from Carlos. "I know you have a lot to deal with."
"It's ok."
Jo smiled lightly at Carlos. "You're so sweet Carlos."
Carlos smiled back. "Thanks."
Jo turned to head back inside and turned around when she noticed that Carlos wasn't following her. "You comin?"
"I'll catch up in a bit, I gotta do some thinking." Carlos replied. Jo nodded and wedged a block of wood between the door and the wall so Carlos wasn't locked out. When he was sure Jo was gone, Carlos turned to Kendall, who hadn't moved from his spot on the wall. "You ok?" he asked him.
"Ok? No, I'm not ok!" Kendall exclaimed. "I find out that the girl I liked since freshman year likes me and I'm not even alive to enjoy it!"
"Yeah, that's insane." Carlos replied. "But it's not a big deal. I mean, Jo's alright but-"
"Aright? Dude, she's amazing!" Kendall interrupted. "And she's the only decent girl who likes me."
"She's not the only person who likes you Kendall." Carlos replied.
"Oh yeah, can't forget Jenny Tinkler." Kendall said sarcastically.
"I wasn't talking about Jenny." Carlos mumbled.
"Then who?"
"Forget about it."
"No, tell me."
"I can't, I promised I wouldn't."
"Promised who?"
"Just drop it. Why are you randomly popping up everywhere?"
Kendall smirked slightly. "It's just something I can do." he replied.
"Well don't, it's creepy." Carlos said. He pushed past Kendall to go back inside the school. He paused, his hand on the door handle, and then turned around to face Kendall. "You know, instead of worrying about Jo, you should worry about the reason you say you're back here." he said softly.
Kendall raised a bushy eyebrow. "What do you mean?" Carlos shrugged and turned back to the door. "Carlos, wait." Kendall put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around to face him. "When did you get to be so insightful?" he asked, using a very Logan-ish word.
Carlos smirked softly. "We all had to do a lot of growing up the past few months dude." he replied.
Kendall bit his lip and looked down. "Yeah, I know what you mean." he muttered. Carlos turned to leave again, pushing open the door. "But if it matters, I miss the old Carlos." Kendall called after him. Carlos turned around to reply but he only saw an empty space where Kendall used to be.
A/N: so what did you all think? Some foreshadowing perhaps? (; hmmm… guess you'll have to read more and find out! And sorry for the lack of Logan, but I'll make up for that in the next chapter (: Reviews?