Eve

We were sitting in a dingy little house on the outskirts of Dubai, sand from the storm covered everything in a fine layer of brown. I was resting my head on the wooden table before me, my head throbbing from where Moreau had hit me, she'd hit me hard and I fought the inner shame that I'd allowed myself to be distracted by Will's voice.

Jane was washing herself off from a basin of water, Will stood opposite me, his shoulders hunched as he leaned on the back of a chair.

"What happened with Moreau, Jane?" He asked, barely controlling his anger.

"She couldn't help us with Hendricks," Jane countered.

"Yeah so let's throw her off the building!"

"I didn't throw her..." Jane started.

"She was NOT the mission Jane!" Will interrupted, yelling. I'd seen that look in his eyes before. He was barely holding it in, and I resisted the urge to reach out to him, to touch him, to bring him back to the Will I knew, the one who would understand the position Jane had been in, who would show some compassion. There was something more underneath that anger, guilt perhaps, I couldn't quite grasp it.

"The mission was to track the file back to Hendricks. Who is now in the wind!"

Ethan was in the bathroom, he'd returned empty handed. I knew how he would feel, but Will was taking it the hardest, his role having been key to giving Hendricks the launch codes.

"How the hell did the Russians find us?" Jane turned her anger at me.

"What are you asking me for?"

"Because you're communications, you're in charge of covering our tracks." I couldn't believe my ears when Will jumped in with her, agreeing, something about how I shouldn't be so sloppy, I was a field agent! I shot him a bewildered look, but my heart knew he was right, I was fast turning this on myself, blame.

"And you're just an analyst?!" Ethan's voice boomed as he rounded the corner from the bathroom. He was looking pointedly at Will and I flinched. There was no way Will could explain his training after what Ethan had seen.

"Right?" Ethan asked. "Right? Who are you really Brandt?"

The men faced off. Everyone was angry, everyone was blaming themselves, kicking themselves for the failure to complete the mission. We were going to implode.

Suddenly Ethan drew a gun on Will, and in an instant Will was moving to disarm him. I struggled to my feet, my breath catching. Will had one gun pointed at Ethan. Jane had hers trained at Will. I found myself start to weaken. This was all getting out of hand.

"How does an agent, with skills like that, end up an analyst?" Ethan asked pointedly of Will.

I saw the briefest flicker of … guilt... behind Will's eyes. Guilt, and something else. Shame. He lowered his head and dismantled the gun, dropping it to the floor.

"Well we all have our secrets." He said quietly, his eyes rising to meet mine. Yes, we do.

"You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine." Ethan said, stepping closer to the man. I watched his chest heave, tight under the white shirt and tie he wore. He turned to face the wall, leaning against it, silent. Ethan checked his phone, and then he was leaving, calling out that he had changed the plan and we were no longer a part of it. He would send someone for us.

"Wait? That's it?" Jane asked. But the door was already closing. He was gone.

"Would you care to explain yourself Agent Brandt?" Jane asked. Will was pacing, gathering his belongings. At Jane's question he stopped, dropping his bag to the floor. His head hung low, as if pondering what to say.

"William..." I spoke. His eyes met mine. "What's going on?"

He poured himself a glass of scotch from the bottle on the table which we'd all been partaking of.

"I was on a protection detail in Croatia..." he began, I leaned forward. "Two years ago." He added, looking straight at me. My heart skipped a beat. It was the detail he'd returned from, a changed man. I'd never heard this story.

"Shadowing the assets... husband and wife. They were never even supposed to know we were there, whole thing's routine, it was a no-brainer." He shook his head as if the memory was too painful to look at and took another swig of his scotch. "Three days in, we got wind that a Serbian hit squad was after our couple. But my team had it under control, knew they were coming. But I couldn't shake this feeling that I should warn the couple somehow. I wanted to find a way to let them know. But, you know, orders are orders so I didn't." I closed my eyes. How many times had we heard that before? I didn't want to think of it. Will was, or had been, the perfect soldier, following orders to the letter.

Leaning against the pillar behind him, Will let out a big sigh. I felt my heart going out to him, I wanted to touch him, tell him it was all right, but I didn't.

"One day, the husband decides to leave the hotel and go for a run, so I follow him, and I leave two men with the wife. When I get back, my guys are unconscious and the wife is gone. Local police found her body three days later, what was left of her anyway..."

My eyes were widening in sudden realisation. I knew this story, but from a different source. I knew it, and I suddenly knew why it was that Will had so badly wanted me to give up the mission to Korea. To stay with him.

"That was my last day in the field." Will continued. "I couldn't face another life or death situation after that." He looked at me, something flickering behind his eyes, but I couldn't make it out, couldn't see what he was thinking.

"So what happened to the husband?" Jane asked.

"Never saw him again. Until two days ago in Moscow when the Secretary introduced me to Ethan Hunt." I looked down. Jane looked surprised.

"No, that's not what happened, she left him." Jane said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I heard that one too Jane." I said quietly.

"Unfortunately, I was there," Will said. "Just like I was there when the Secretary got the phone call that Ethan was in custody for killing six Serbian nationals in cold blood."

"An unsanctioned hit." I said sadly.

"Disavowed." This from Jane.

Will sighed, sitting down at the table with us.

"Next thing I know, I'm on a plane to Dubai, wondering the whole time, do I tell him? How do I tell him? That I'm responsible, I could have warned him, I should have warned him, but I didn't, and she died."

Washington D.C. - 1 year ago

It had been months since he'd looked for her, the last time he'd visited Chicago he'd caught but a glimpse. Time seemed to have flown and dragged all the same since the murder in Croatia. There had been a lot of fall outs from the Serbian hits. Ethan Hunt was in a Russian prison, and he'd been reassigned to the Secretary as chief analyst. She didn't know, he hadn't told her about any of it - classified. She'd been there one day, called in as one of Hunt's team.

She'd recovered from her time in Korea. He watched her, a slight tug at his mouth as he watched her graceful moves through the lobby. Every inch of his body wanted to go to her, to hold her and tell her that everything was all right. But it wasn't. He had failed. He had lost everything that had been important to Hunt. He'd almost lost her! All because he couldn't tell her why he wanted her out of the field. All for not following his instincts.

Now he could not trust those instincts, not in the field, not anywhere. How could he explain this to her? She had come and gone, holding her head high even though the story she'd been given was one of anguish. She didn't know he'd been on that detail, she didn't know where he had been, only that things had changed on his return. It would stay that way. It wasn't safe for her to be involved with an agent, he'd seen that now. Maybe, she could move on if he was gone.

Will

My revelation seemed to have hit both Jane and Eve hard. Jane excused herself, saying she needed some air. Eve hadn't moved. I was watching her, without trying to be obvious. I wanted to see how she was reacting to the news. The realisation that the detail that had taken me from her, had also been the detail that turned her whole team upside down, had seen one of her best friends sent to rot in a Russian prison when he'd been the only one to rescue her from that hellhole in Korea.

I noticed how she hadn't changed much in the few years that had passed. She still carried herself with a quiet yet strong countenance. She could meld into the background like a wall flower, or call attention to herself like a sunflower, whichever she chose. There was still that one thing that was different about her...

"You cut your hair." I said simply, not knowing how to start the conversation with her.

She sighed. Running her hands over her face and finally through her short brown hair which was bobbed at the front, long tendrils hanging down to frame her face. She looked at me, a rawness there which I knew I responsible for.

"Will..." she started, as if searching for the words.

"I don't expect you to forgive me..." The words died in my throat. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to explain it to her.

Eve

"You did your job." I whispered. I couldn't look at him. I didn't know what I would see there behind those stormy blue eyes.

Standing, I started to pace the room. I was trying to process all this information, but this damn headache was clouding my mind. I couldn't think! He watched me silently, thoughtfully, giving me the space to work it through. But finally I even ran him down. He walked up to me, grabbing me by the arms, forcing me to a stop, and to stand near him.

"Eve! Please say something." I flinched, and he backed away, his hands softening on my arms. I had to grab on to something, and it ended up being his shirt as I leaned in to him, allowing him to support me. My hands balled and I thumped his chest, that strong, contoured chest that had once held me so gently, so lovingly. Images of our time together flashed before me and I softly banged my hands against him.

No, I couldn't give in. I would not allow myself to cry over this man. I raised my hands to my temples, a dull throb settling in behind my eyes. God I hope I'm not getting a migraine...

His eyes softened, he knew that look on me. For the first time he realised that I may not have fully recovered from the hit I took from Moreau. Guiding me to a chair he brushed his hands along my neck, causing me to quiver. Then gently he started to knead my shoulders and my head fell forward, enjoying the feel of his touch. I started to feel like everything was right again. But it wasn't. He had abandoned me. When I'd returned from Korea he had been gone. Our apartment was empty of his things and dusty – it had stood empty a long time.

I jumped up. Backing away from him. He sighed, an apology in his eyes.

"I have nothing to say." I said quietly. "We will finish this mission, if Ethan let's us, and then that's it. I just, have nothing to say. I can't... I can't." I ran from the room, locking myself in the bathroom, falling back against the door. I imagined I could feel him on the other side of the door, seeking permission to comfort me, but that comfort could not come.

Vaguely I heard the sound of Jane returning and I knew our moment was over. Now we would wait, and see if Ethan returned for us.