Chapter 4

A/N Thankyou SO MUCH everybody for all the reads! Nearly 600 views! I cannot handle this ughhh! Yeah so as you can tell, I am using a poetic approach in that I would like to use some lovely adjectives and in that the brackets represent a thought or something hidden. Also I'm killing the joyous fluff of the last chapter in order to develop the storyline, love you too. ;) Hearteu from Yura-ssi 3

Things were quite different on the TARDIS after the kiss. The Doctor had more things to fix (she didn't approve of Clara's affections) and when he tried to hug her good morning, a segment of the console sparked in retaliation.

Across the next few days, there was nowhere to go, and the TARDIS seemed determined to stay put, hovering around the Milky Way. Clara saw less and less of the Doctor – he had been quite moody, throwing tools across the room and picking them up, embarrassed and almost confused at his own outbursts. He'd even yelled at her for walking too slowly, and tried to ask her why she wasn't making lunch yet. (The nerve! she thought) Clara was furious after that ordeal, and refused to speak to him for hours. He came in later to apologise; he was just upset about his previous companions – but mostly River. She just nodded, smiled, and returned to her book.

"Are we friends, Clara?"

"Always."

Clara brought up River six times the next day, all questions met with "She was an extraordinary woman, but that is a story for another day, Clara." She slumped and groaned. Why is he being such a... Dalek? A bloody mood-killer! she thought angrily. The Doctor seemed to get angry at anything now: when his tea was lukewarm and therefore useless, when his sonic wouldn't work first go, when Clara wasn't in the mood to kiss him. The more he got angry at everything, the more she got frustrated with him. They didn't go anywhere for a week, because neither of them were in the mood. Clara kept to her bedroom, the Doctor scanned and checked and double-checked and triple-checked and fixed things that weren't broken. Eventually the TARDIS had had enough and merged their bedrooms, cutting off any exits and effectively shutting them inside. She looked up from her book in shock to see him watching her with a sorrowful look in his eyes that could melt a Sontaran's heart. He sat down on the edge of her bed, and licked his lips, unsure of what to say. She haughtily returned to her book, and he sighed. "Clara... I have nothing to say but to apologise. I don't understand what's happening to me... I want you so badly and I don't know why. Everything is frustrating and nothing works and I hate it, and I can't do anything without you," he said, looking her straight in the eye, a hand resting on her shin under the covers. A shiver crawled down her spine at his touch, and she smiled at him flatly. There was no feeling in it. "Doctor, I think you know how I feel right now. I just need you to be you, and everything will get better. You'll stop being moody and feel better pretty soon, right?" she asked him tentatively, looking anywhere but his face. "Right," he replied softly.

The Doctor's POV

And just like that – she kissed me. She kissed me and Earth stopped mid-turn. Stars fell out of the sky in the universe of my mind and they lit up in the deep brown depths of her eyes, burning there with a flame of intensity. She peeled her lips from mine, and I am certain that there is nothing and no one quite so perfect as the woman before my eyes. She grinned, and I stood there, holding my face with both hands in a concoction of elation, confusion and disbelief – but mostly hoping it was not a dream.

After I showered, I was halfway dressing when I spotted a silver seed on my forearm. I rubbed my eyes, thinking it was some sort of trick of the light, but it didn't move or disappear, and blue light ran through a vein. I looked closer, and upon further inspection, there were hundreds of tiny lights running through hundreds of veins varying in size. I dropped to my knees without meaning to, and then... black.

I woke up in my bed (Thankyou my darling TARDIS). Silver tendrils had run all the way up my forearm now. I shouted and jumped to my feet, and I heard distant crying. Clara... Clara my beautiful... Something sparked in my head.

I had things to fix, why was she crying, stupid girl. We had things to do. She's an adult, for Pete's sake. Disgusting. Bloody left landing lever doesn't work, and the stupid railing's scratched again. Probably Clara's stupid ring. Who keeps those things anyway?

Why is she so late to lunch?

Why is she all holed up in her room? Is she that loathe to spending time with me? I showed her the stars, is that all there is? Was that all she wanted?

And yet, my hearts skip a beat when I see her so much as turn the page. Why won't she speak to me? What did I do wrong? I just want her to kiss away this insanity. This confusion, this eruption of feelings. I've never experienced this kind of emotion before, well once, but that was when the Cyber Planner was still in my head. It's definitely not him, because I haven't done anything I really regret yet.

Until I caught Clara by the waist from behind as she was walking to the TARDIS library. I thought I'd find her in that hallway, and smiled into her hair. "My Clara," I'd said, and she'd tugged free of my arms. I'd grabbed her by the wrist anyway, because I wanted her. I wanted her, I wanted her, I wanted her, I wanted her, I WANTED HER. I need her, but she doesn't need me. Why do I always assume the humans will want to stay with me forever?

(Because you're the Doctor, and you are an idiot).