When You Look Me in the Eyes
Cammies P.O.V
Walking down the corridor with my lunch in my hand, I made the trip that I'd made for the past 13 days at lunchtime (usually for an hour or two at night aswell). The trip to sit by my Aunt's bedside holding her hand, praying and urging for her to wake up. I don't know what happened; I just know she nearly died. When Abby was bringing her here, her heart stopped twice in the helicopter. She's better now, well stable; but that's better than nearly dead. My Mum and Abby cried for days, they've stopped now but I just know that they cry at night when they think no one can hear, and judging by their faces they hardly get any sleep. My Aunt, well she just lies there, in a coma (though even in a coma she's still hot). I talk to her, telling her I forgive her for leaving. Not a lie, but I'd like to know why.
I reached the door and opened it, what I saw shocked me. What I saw explained why Mum and Abby seamed happier and less tired at breakfast. What I saw made me nearly drop my lunch. What I saw was her sat up in bed smiling and joking with Abby. And all I could whisper was "Aunt Katie?"
Aunt Katie, my Mums youngest sister. Like my Mum and my Aunt she had inherited the perfect Cameron genes, long brown hair, green eyes, flawless skin (well it was before the incident), a lovely smile and absolutely beautiful. Who nearly died, was sat in bed looking at me, smiling and saying "Hey Munchkin". Munchkin, don't ask how she came up with it, but rumour has it (well my Mum said) that the first time she looked after me as a baby, the Wizard of Oz was on TV and she called it me ever since, apparently I bore a great resemblance to one of them, I said don't ask. Even as she said the words her voice was hardly there, it was rough and more of a whisper, completely different to the bright and happy tone I remembered.
"Look who woke up" Abby said a massive grin on her face, as she pointed out the obvious. She looked at me "Oooh Lunch is served time for my break, Squirt your on Katie duty" Katie smile and Abby winked at me.
"Come on then Munchkin" she gestured to the bed with her head, I guessed it hurt to move her arms. I went and sat on her bed. "So what's new?"
"Not much" I replied. I don't know why but I had to ask the question, I had to get it over and done with. Sure she lasted longer than Abby (About 10 days longer), but I still needed to know the answer. "Why did you leave?"
Katie's P.O.V
Damn. I knew the question was going to come up, just not this soon. Abby had said it had took her ages to ask her. I couldn't tell her the truth. That if I acted just a bit earlier I could've saved her dad. I know Abby hadn't told her the reason why she left. I reached for her hand, but as I moved my hand, my chest and shoulder burned, I'm guessing because of my ribs and where I got stabbed. I pulled back in pain and winced, Cammie must have realised as she took my hand instead.
I looked her in the eyes "I. I. I don't really know. Something happened, I didn't act quickly enough. I couldn't look your Mum in the eyes. I couldn't look at her at all. I was scared and hated myself, but I couldn't stay around. Every time I saw your Mum and you in that, in that state I wanted to be sick, I wanted to be punished. I did my best to comfort your Mum and you, but how could I do it properly when I had this burden inside of me. I know Abby had left already and I knew she'd got away, and I envied her for it. So when the CIA called me and said they had this mission coming up, a dangerous mission. They gave me the option, the option to stay and be with you and you're Mum. But I had to get away, I just had to. After I returned from the mission I could've returned but I was scared. Scared that you knew the truth scared that Rachel would hate me because of the truth. So I didn't make contact, I kept away. I saw Abby now and then at headquarters, and we were fine. I just couldn't face Rachel or you. I kept saying that I'd call, but for some reason I found an excuse not to. I hate myself for that. Over time the burden lessened, but I still found myself unable to pick up the phone. I'm so sorry. And I'll understand if you hate me for it, I was scared, I was stupid, I missed you."
I hadn't realised the tears falling down the side of my cheek. I'd kept eye contact all the way through. Cammie looked at me for a bit before breaking the silence "I don't hate you. I mean I was upset you left and I hated you for leaving. But you came back" She smiled at me and squeezed my hand "What was the burden though? If you don't mind me asking"
I could've saved your dad.
"I can't tell you. Sorry. But trust me there are some things you don't want to know." That's all I could say. When she's older, when the time was right both me and Abby would tell her. That if we'd just done one thing her Dad would still be here. But that time wasn't now.
She smiled "Its fine. I'm just glad to have you back. I've missed you so much." Thank God she forgave me. Thank God she didn't hate me. "So has Aunt Abby been taking care of you and letting you get your rest?" She laughed at her question as she already knew the answer.
"Well…. It depends how you define looking after me" Cammie laughed "She jumped around the room reading the cards and tried some of the remains of my breakfast or the 'baby food' as she calls it"
"Baby food?"
"Well it's some puree thing your Mum had the chef make me, so it was easier to swallow. But it bears a great resemblance to baby food, so Abby calls it that. Though it is actually quite nice and tastes nothing like baby food"
"Well we do have a very good chef here"
We laughed and talked for a while longer, until Abby came in holding a sandwich and another bowl of baby food.
Cammies P.O.V
"Hey squirt, hey Katie. I brought more baby food!" I looked at it, they were right it did look like baby food "Rachel sent me with this, she's afraid she can't come right now, some problem in one of the labs. She put me under strict instructions though, feed Katie, make sure squirt gets to class on time, and let Katie get some rest." She winked at Katie a sign that rule three proberly wouldn't be obeyed, Katie gave a sigh, she looked exhausted. But Abby stopped her from saying anything by singing "Lunchtime". She took the seat on the other side of her bed and fed her, her lunch. While she did that I ate my lunch, while watching them. Abby seamed to have had a complete shift of personality. Instead of joking around she was being serious and almost motherly as she fed Katie, making sure she drank in between spoonfuls and doing her best to ease the pain she must feel when she swallows.
Once they were done Abby turned to me "Lesson time squirt." I didn't move, I didn't let goof Katie's hand. I didn't want to go; I didn't want to leave her. What if she wasn't here when I got back? No, she said she wouldn't do that again. But still I wanted to stay and look after her, make sure she was ok. I wanted to joke with her and Abby, like old times. But the look Abby gave me, was a complete look of warning "I'm under your Mothers instructions" I sighed and got up. "Siya" I muttered as I left them behind and walked to class.
Katie's P.O.V
I watched Cammie leave; things were back to normal, well almost. I looked Abby in the eyes "She asked me, why I left" she looked at me nodding.
"What did you say?"
"I told her what happened, minus the fact why I did actually leave. I told her there are some things she doesn't want to know"
She nodded again "Same."
Just at that moment Rachel walked in. "Sorry, I wasn't here earlier but I had work to finish up. But I am yours for the rest of the afternoon. Oh and Abby the bags here"
"Siya in a bit, I've got work to do" She winked and walked out. Rachel came and sat in the armchair, and took my hand.
"So Abby was fine giving you your lunch then?"
I nodded. "Rachel, I'm sorry, you know for leaving" I looked her in the eye as I said it.
"Katie, it's fine, seriously, I understand. If I was in your shoes I would've done the same thing"
I felt a bit better. But still Rachel was the one who had comforted me when I was ill, when I was scared, on my first day at the Gallagher Academy, when me and my first boyfriend split up. But when she needed me more than ever, I left. I left and didn't look back. She seamed to guess what I was thinking "Katie honestly, I'm not mad at you. I'm just glad you came back" she squeezed my hand and smiled at me. "Ok? Don't beat yourself up about it"
"Ok" I replied but I would hate myself for it forever, the burden would never fully leave me, would never completely go away.
A couple of minutes later, Abby returned pulling a bag behind her.
"All clear" she said. I eyed the bag curiously, I knew the bag, it was mine. But what was Abby doing with it? "We called the CIA and explained you were going to be here for a while. So you were going to need some stuff from your flat and so they sent an agent there to pick some things up. Bu the way New York, very nice, I wish I had a place there."
I nodded "Which agent did they send?"
"Some guy named Darren, they said you'd be fine with that" I was Darren was the Agent I'd done most of my work with, when I wasn't working solo. People called us the Dynamic Duet, I was Batman and he was Robin. Of course I'd worked with many other Agents, including Joe Solomon, yes we had a very nice time in Turkey on a mission.
"So what did he send for me then?" knowing him some stuff I didn't really need. Though I needn't have asked as Abby was already unzipping it.
It contained; two pairs of pyjamas, the four pictures of my bedside, my I-pod, my private phone, my laptop, some everyday clothes, my workout outfit, my wallet, a collection of my favourite books (plus some new ones he must've picked up for me), some DVD's, letters that must've been waiting for me and a note from him.
Dear Batman,
I hope your feeling better and that you make a full recovery. You better be well by summer, as we both know that's when the best missions are and of course I need your assistance. By the way Christmas in New York wasn't the same without you. I have made sure your flat has been kept clean and ready for your return. The CIA has paid all bills that arrived and promise to pay any future ones that may arrive before you return. I have been assured that Rachel and Abby are taking great care of you, and it's great to hear you three are back together again. Scott has been asking after you and has promised to write and phone. You should've seen him when we all thought you were going to die, he was mad and didn't stop crying for days.
Hope to see you soon, Robin xxx
Scott. Scott had been asking after me? We weren't even going out anymore. Sure we had a long history, everyone had made bets on when we would finally stop being on again and off again and get married. I remember when he first moved over here from Australia. We were both sixteen, his parents had to come over here because the CIA had asked them to move over here to work for them. Scott of course was a spy in training just like me, following in his parent's footsteps. We hit it off straight away, and within a couple of months we were going out. He promised not to break my heart like my first boyfriend Ollie did. He kept his promise. I still loved him of course, I always would.
"Time for a change, I think" Rachel held up a pair of my pyjamas "I'm glad he sent some, they're better than them horrible hospital things they make you wear. Abby get the bandages and we'll change them at the same time" Abby put up no argument and for the first time ever did as she was told. When they changed my bandages and pyjamas it gave me chance to actually take in my scars. A lot of my body was swollen due to my injuries and scars were everywhere. They took a lot of care when they did it but no matter how careful they were pain shot through my body. I had to admit once they were done, a change of bandages and clothes felt a lot better, especially because the pyjamas reminded me of life before this happened.
"I'm guessing Abby didn't let you get any rest so you better get some now" They helped me lie down, and sat by my bedside. They each took one of my hands and Rachel stroked my hair as I fell asleep once again.
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