Chapter Three and a Half: Potholes and Sexuality

A/N: I felt really bad for forgetting to update, so I wrote a mini-chapter that should tide you over for a day or two. Also I revoke anything I have said about any ship. I've decided nothing is official, JohnKat RoseKan they may or may not happen, remember, "none are final."

You have learned many things in your time being a prince, but one of the most important lessons is that there's always another dinner. Dave hasn't figured that out yet.

When you entered the kingdom of Libertas, you were expecting them to send a page or even the heir, John, but the person who greeted your brother and you was possibly a thousand times better. Actually, the people who came to escort you would be better word choice. As soon as you saw two green-eyed-black-haired cousins, you eagerly elbowed Dave to get his attention. His head jerked up do suddenly that his glasses traveled up across the bridge of his nose. He had been drawing a comic for the town paper. Whatever magic they used to print it was none of your business.

"What." He didn't say it like a question, but as a reflex. He knew what.

You answered anyway, "I think they are royals."

"Rose told me that the family has the palace witch, a knight who used to be a non-advancement page, your future wife who used to be a maid, and the heir."

"Clearly hotness runs in that family." You ironically whistled.

"Don't flirt with the witch. You're marrying her cousin." He rolled his eyes because he didn't actually care. You almost mumbled back a clever retort about your… infatuation with the other cousin, but caught yourself in time.

The girl, who was no doubt a witch, greeted you. "Welcome to the palace again, who's this?" She spoke without caring about manners, gesturing towards your brother. Probably Dave's type, too. You wonder if he'll flirt a bit. (A/N: I have decided incest is not a thing in this medieval-ish world.)

Dave didn't falter one bit from her informality, "His brother," He extended his hand, ironically bringing her hand up and kissing it. "Sir Strider of my brother's elite knights, but to you Dave." His serious tone lost ground as he went. The girl could have reacted in any way. To your surprise, she started laughing. It was your turn.

You turned to face the absolutely gorgeous but nameless boy. "What about you," Sh*t, you didn't want to sound too formal or too casual. "Can I know your names?"

He introduced himself first. "Sir English, much like your brother, I am one of my cousin John's knights." His smile didn't fall as he gave a slight bow. "Jake English."

Jake. You loved his name. You loved his accent. It was so enchanting and made words all special. How does anyone even sound casual like that? You loved how he made you ask questions in your head. The problem was that you were supposed to be in love with his sister.

Jake's companion introduced herself. "I'm Jade Harley, palace witch, John's sister, Jake's cousin." She flashed buckteeth through a smile as she gave directions to your carriage driver. Then Jade and Jake joined you.

The streets were done well in their kingdom, so Dave didn't have a chance of the old "Jeez the road is bumpy, let me put my arm around you to keep steady" with Jade. It probably wouldn't work with her anyway, Jade's probably not that kind of girl who swoons over moves old as time. You decided to help him out.

You moved to the window that let you speak with the driver, "Go down that real bumpy road." The volume you used made sure that only the driver could hear. But you nodded to Dave, you were sure he would understand.

To your surprise the first move was not made by a Strider, "God, I thought they had fixed this! If you huddle it's not as bad." Jade inched closer to Dave. Yahtzee. Wait… OH MY GOD ENGLISH FOLLOWS HIS COUSIN'S ADVICE BLINDLY. Stay calm, Strider, you are better than this. Just pay attention to Jade and Dave across from you.

Dave was sitting with his arm around Jade, steadying her every jostle from the road. His stoic lips smiled down at her. Being tall had its advantage. Speaking of which, motherf*ck how is Jake English so tall? You could just rest your head and- SH*T THE ROAD IS- oh, hey, it's not that bad. You reopen your eyes and he is f*cking steadying you with his arms. God.

"Sorry for the inconvenience." Jake's smile was still as gorgeous as you remember, genuine.

Dave's smug grin across the way just screamed "smooth" at you. You readjusted so you wouldn't be literally depending on Jake. What were you doing? Whatever it was that you were doing it was embarrassing.

"I'm good." You pushed your glasses up. When you hit the largest bump, you were not the one to jump, Jade let out an embarrassing squeal. Her face flushed to a new shade of red. She was obviously not a girly squealing type. Dave reassuringly held her, and you knew she had to have fallen for him.

The only notable thing to happen afterwards was your palms sweating through the meal. The king seemed to like you, but you were focused on one Jake English throughout. Dave also sent mild flirtations bearing no fruit to Jade, that is when you had the King's attention. At one point John strolled in, excused Jake for a minute to the hallway, and he returned with a strange look in his eyes. The tic of trolls came up soon after, and that look was in his eyes again. Hope?

"I don't know a large number of things about trolls, I've never even run into one during my travels." Jake asked eagerly.

You played with how to explain, "They are difficult to describe." was all you said.

He had grown very eager in the last few seconds. One could think that his next question was the most important question ever asked.

"Are they blue?"

A/N: I slaved over this! Please, I even foreshadowed! That's right, for once I have a plan. I figured that since a large portion of the fandom ships DirkJake I'd give you that. (Don't give up JaneJakes, RoxJakes, AraneaJakes, and other Jake ships)