Revelation

Olivia and Declan walk down to the parking lot and his car. Cragen has arranged for the squad car that she drove to the hospital to be picked up so she is free to ride home with her husband. As soon as she gets in the passenger seat and buckles her seatbelt, she rests her head back against the seat and lets the tears flow. She is so damn tired.

Declan says nothing, just drives and let her cry. After a few minutes, he reaches over to squeeze her hand. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He asks in a gentle tone. So she spills out the whole story, leaving nothing out this time around. She tells him what an idiot she was, how she, an experienced detective, allowed her judgment to be affected by the sound of a crying child. How helpless she felt when the barrel of her own gun was pressed up against her temple and how frightened she'd been that she'd never see him or August again. His hand tightens on hers as she says this.

"Liv, you're being too hard on yourself," he tells her when she finally comes to the end. "Yes, in hindsight it was a mistake to go in there alone, but you thought a child was in danger. I'm guessing that if Elliot had gotten their first and heard what you did, he might have gone in alone too, and then the situation would be reversed." Declan quickly pushed the picture of Olivia, shot and bloody, out of his mind.

Olivia hadn't thought of it from this perspective. Elliot did tend to think he was invincible and he had gone off on his own more than once. "I guess we'll never know." She sighs and closes her eyes. The next thing she knows, Dec is gently shaking her awake in the parking garage of their building.

"Let's get you upstairs and into the tub," he says, putting his arm around her as they walk to the elevator. "You'll feel better after a warm bath."

They are met at the door by the young Brazilian au pair who has been with them since Olivia went back to work a few months ago. She has been a godsend, the perfect solution to the irregular hours they both need to work at times. In the short time she's been with them, she's become a part of their family. August adores her, and knowing her daughter is in loving hands makes is possible for Olivia to focus on her job when she has to be away from her.

"How is Mr. Stabler?" Mariclair asks when they come in. She is sitting on the couch watching television but picks up the remote to switch off the news. Declan had filled her in briefly when he dropped Eli off. She knows the Stablers from when the two families get together and Kathy often brings Eli over to "play" with August.

"He had a long surgery, but he's holding his own," says Declan. "His wife is at the hospital with him."

Mariclair nods and looks to Olivia. "And you are okay too, Olivia?" she asks her lyrically accented English. Declan and Olivia joke that August will grow up bi-lingual and be able to teach them Portuguese before she goes to kindergarten.

Olivia smiles at her. "I'm fine, Mariclair, just tired. Thank you so much for taking care of both children all evening. It was a big help. Did Eli go to sleep all right for you?"

"Yes, he's in the extra bed in Augusts' room." She smiles at the memory of the little boy telling her that he'd watch the baby for her all night so she could get some sleep. "He asked about his mama and I told him he'd see her tomorrow. I hope that was okay?"

"That was perfect, Mariclair."

Olivia goes quietly into her daughter's room to check on the two sleeping children. Eli is sprawled out in the single bed they have in the room for when August is older. He clutches a stuffed bear, a substitute for the raggedy dog he sleeps with at home. She pulls the blanket up over him and brushes his dark curls off his face. It's like looking at a miniature Elliot sleeping there and she feels a chill run up her spine at the thought of his father, unconscious in a hospital bed.

Moving over to the crib, she stares down at her tiny daughter, sleeping, as usual, on her stomach with her butt up in the air. Her dark hair spreads out like a silky fan around her. Everyone comments on how much the baby looks just like her mother, but occasionally, Olivia catches glimpses of her father in her too, especially in the set of her jaw when she's not happy about something. She bends over to stroke her back, and then impulsively scoops her up and holds her. August stirs but doesn't fully waken, automatically snuggling into the spot between her mother's neck and shoulder. Olivia takes her over to the rocking chair and sits down to slowly rock, burying her face in her baby's hair. Declan comes to the door to tell her that he's drawn a bath for her, but when he sees Olivia and August in the chair, he leaves without saying a word.

Elliot struggles to open his eyes, but it's so hard. Everything hurts; especially his chest which feels like it's on fire. He finally manages to open his eyes but sees nothing but white. As his focus gradually sharpens, he makes out acoustical tiles on the ceiling, a curtain hanging around him. He hears a low hums and beeps and realizes he's in a hospital. He lifts his head to look around him but it's too difficult—his head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds so he lies back and takes inventory. An oxygen mask is over his face, IV's in his arm, his chest is wrapped tightly and hell, it hurts there. There is something pinching his finger, and—someone holding his hand. He turns his head to the side—that much he can manage- and sees his wife, her head resting on the side of his bed, sound asleep, grasping his hand in hers. He is comforted by this sight and lets the darkness wash over him again.

Shortly after dawn, Kathy is awakened when a nurse comes to check Elliot's vitals. She sits up, stretching—how long was I asleep? She looks at her husband and is relieved to see that his color is better and he somehow looks like he is resting more comfortably. He looks—just asleep—instead of unconscious.

"Why don't you try talking to him"? Suggests the nurse, once she has finished all of the things on her checklist. "He needs to be waking up soon."

Kathy stands and moves up the bed, bending his forehead. "Elliot?" she says softly. "Elliot, can you wake up for me, babe?" There is no response, but as she persists, stroking his cheek and calling his name, his eyelids begin to flutter. It takes a few tries, but then there they are, those intense blue eyes, looking up at her, confused and hazy.

"You're in the hospital," she tells him. He looks around, and then his eyes lock on hers.

"Olivia?" he asks. His voice is hoarse and weak, but she can understand him.

"Olivia is fine, babe, you saved her life," Kathy tells him, squeezing his hand. He closes his eyes again, remembering. He winces, and brings his hand up to touch his wrapped chest.

"You were shot," his wife explains. "You had surgery yesterday to repair the damage, but you're doing great, Elliot. You'll be fine in no time."

She can tell by the look in his eyes he is doubtful. "Where…are the…kids?" he croaks through the oxygen mask.

"Eli is at Olivia's, and Maureen and Kathleen took the twins to their apartment. They were all here last night, but the doctor wouldn't let anyone else in to see you, so I sent them home."

Elliot nods his understanding. "Don't want…them to see me…like this," he gets out.

"Well, I don't think you have a choice," she smiles down at him. "They practically had to drag Kathleen out of her last night. They'll be back today and they're not going to take no for an answer."

He makes a face but doesn't try to speak again. "Everyone was here all day yesterday until they knew you were okay," she tells him softly. "The Captain, Olivia, Declan, John and Fin, even Melinda. There were more c ops in this hospital than at One PP."

He gives her a weak smile. She sits back down next to the bed, still holding his hand. She brings it to her mouth, kissing it. "I was so afraid, Elliot," she whispers. "When I looked up in my class and saw Olivia in the doorway….it was like all of my worst nightmares about you on the job were coming true."

"I'll be okay," he whispers hoarsely. She nods, still gripping his hand.

"But what if you…hadn't….oh, Elliot, can't even stand to think about it." She's crying now, despite all of her determination not to upset him.

"All I could think…" he says, each work an effort "about was you and the kids. How stupid I was…to go…for that…gun."

"Why did you?" She asks, sniffling. "El, you've always told me that's the dumbest thing to do."

"I...saw…in his eyes…he was going…to pull….the trigger," he chokes out. "And I couldn't….let him…take Augusts' mother…away…from her."

Kathy sits back, still holding his hand, stunned. This was all about Olivia's baby? Her stomach churns at the idea that Elliot put her before their own five children. The thought of Olivia being killed is too horrible to contemplate but the fact that Elliot put her child first stings like salt water in a wound.

The nurse comes back in. "Well, you're awake," she says, coming to take his pulse on the wrist of the arm Kathy isn't clinging to. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

Elliot shrugs and then winces. Even that small movement hurts. The nurse chuckles. "Ah, another stoic cop. Let me get the doctor in here and we'll get you something for the pain."