Santana's POV:

Judy had brought bittersweet news with her visit. I was glad that I was going to be taken away from my parents but I was going somewhere that I would be hurting just as bad. Except at the Fabray house my pain would only be emotional, no more physical pain. Sure Quinn didn't hate me for how I felt, but it was still going to be so fucking hard to have to live with the girl I was so in love with that it scared me. No, it terrified me that I could feel so strongly for one person. And it made me feel sick that that person didn't feel the same. I'd have to settle for her friendship, maybe one day I'll get over her. Maybe.

"San?" I turned towards the door and saw Brittany with none other than her hude stuffed duck.

Unsure how to respond, I just gave a half-hearted wave and a shrug.

A shrug? What the hell Lopez.

She walked over to me and sat in the chair next to my bed.

"Hug him and you won't feel so sad," Brittany said as she placed the duck in my bed. I smiled at her and hugged the duck to humor her. She had no idea how much I wished that things were that easy. I wish I could just hug a giant plushy and feel better like she could. I wished I was an open book with nothing to hide nor anything to be ashamed of like she was.

"Quinn said you don't wanna talk cause your sad," she muttered. "I wish you would. If you don't speak you can't sing and you love singing and everyone loves to listen to you sing."

That made my heart break. She was right, singing was one of the few things that had actually made me happy. But singing means speaking and I can't do that. I just can't. Instead of talking like she wanted, I leaned over and pulled Brittany into a hug. I felt her shaking against me, she wanted to cry but was trying not too. I held her tighter.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"Santana you could have told me you were sad," Brittany muttered into my shoulder. "You're my best friend, that's what we're supposed to do. Make each other feel better and talk about things."

I wish I could've.

There were so many times I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to show her the covered bruises from where my dad had hit me, I wanted to tell her I was gay, and I wanted to tell her I loved Quinn. But I didn't want to scare her or make her uncomfortable. I was scared that she wouldn't accept me.

I'm an idiot. How could I possibly think that Brittany would have a problem with acceptance? She may not understand but she wouldn't ever hate me for who I was. My parents were the ones who would hate me, society would hate me, I would hate me.

Quinn's POV:

I couldn't sleep the night I left the hospital. All I could do was lie in bed and think about her. She was there alone right now and I felt guilty beyond measure. This all happened because she felt alone and now she's alone there. I had to keep reminding myself that I would see her tomorrow, Saturday. That's when she'd be coming home. I'll make her happy again. When the time's right, I'll tell her and both of us will be happy. But now she just has to get better, I'll make her want to speak again.

Now here I was, walking through the halls of McKinley for first bell wearing regular clothes rather than my uniform for the first time since I'd been kicked off the squad for being pregnant. Coach Sylvester had actually called off practices for the day, which is almost as shocking as what happened with Santana.

As I walked through the halls in a daze people were staring at me, but never speaking to me. I was the girl who'd find Santana bleeding to death in the Cheerio's shower. People didn't know how to react so they just stared.

"Q, my office," I heard Coach Sylvester's voice behind me.

"I have to get to class," I said, not turning around. I was weirded out by how flat my voice was.

"I've got you excused from first period, come one," her voice was surprisingly mellow. Mellow is not a word I ever thought I'd associate with her.

Without further word, I turned around and followed her to her office. When we entered, she motioned for me to sit down and closed the door before sitting at her desk.

"Is she alright?" Coach asked, concern threaded into her tone. It was weird, but not unwelcome for her to be anything other than a maniacal tyrant.

"I wouldn't say that, but she's fine as far as physical health goes. She won't talk," I trailed off at that.

"What about you?"

Did Coach Sylvester just take interest in how I'm feeling?

"No," I was straightfoward and blunt.

She simply nodded before continuing, "I read the note. She loves you." That statement triggered me.

"It's my fault!" I didn't scream but I was loud. "She was scared to tell me, she thought I'd hate her and turn on her. She thought she couldn't turn to anyone and I hate myself for doing whatever it is I did to make her think I'd push her away if I knew!"

"Quinn stop right there," Coach put a hand up. "You can't think like that. You can't blame yourself for how she felt because that's not going to help anyone, especially Santana. If you're going to spend all your time wallowing in self-loathing it's not going to help her. The best thing you can do right now is be strong and focus on helping her feel safe and happy again."

Coach just referred to us by our actual names.

I decided not to dwell on Coach's new found compassion and embrace it. After a few moments of silence I spoke again, "At your sisters funeral you said in your speech that you felt like you two were attached at the core by something invisible. And that when she was gone you knew there was nothing left. When I found Santana in the showers I felt something pulling at me like that. I'd never felt that before but it was like she had to be okay or I'd be completely lost. When I thought she was going to die I felt like I was falling and no one was going to catch me. It felt like whatever it was that was pulling at my core was getting weaker, like it was disappearing. I felt completely lost while we were waiting to hear if she was okay. But then when they said she was going to be okay I felt the tug again, but this time it wasn't as frantic. It was just... I felt relieved to know there was still something on the other end to tether me down. Then I realized that the pull had always been there I'd just been pushing it away and not allowing myself to feel it. But now I've felt it and there's no way I can hide from it again."

By the time I was done with my release I noticed that there were tears falling down my face. Coach Sylvester looked somber. She was deep in thought.

"You love her," she finally stated.

"Yeah, I figured that out," I laughed weakly. "I think I've known for a long time, just never wanted to let it be real," I sighed, knowing I was about to open up even more to someone I never thought I would. "People think I got pregnant because I wanted to be with Puck because I was feeling fat and wanted to feel pretty. That's not even close to the truth, but people are idiots and will believe anything."

I laughed weakly and looked up and Coach Sylvester. She was listening intently, her eyes reflecting that she truly cared about what I had to say.

"It was one of Puck's party. They're notorious, even teachers here know about them and how intense they can get. I'd been drinking wine coolers, not that anyone hadn't been. Anyway, I was dancing with some girls on the cheerios and it was all just the kind of stuff friends do. But then I looked across the room and I saw Santana. She was beautiful as always, but she was dancing with some guy. I didn't know why but I started to feel sick while I watched them. I wanted to take her away from him and not let him touch her anymore. I guess I was jealous. I started feeling like I wanted to be the one dancing with her, I just wanted to be near her or even just talk to her. She noticed me staring after a while, she didn't look mad or freaked out... I don't know how she looked. But her seeing me staring made me snap out of a trance. It made me realize that what I was feeling was something I wasn't supposed to feel for a girl. It wasn't anything close to what I'd felt for a guy, not that that was much of an accomplishment, I never actually felt anything real for a boy. I didn't want to feel that way so I went looking for a guy. Puck just happened to be the easiest target for me. Before I knew it I'd let him take me upstairs. I thought that if I did that with Puck it would make my newfound feelings for Santana go away. Obviously it didn't, all it did was make everything worse because I had to go through the pregnancy and all the stress that came with it. Then when that was finally over all my feelings for Santana were still there waiting for me. But I still pushed them away and dated guys like there was nothing else I'd rather be doing. But when I found her and felt the tugging I realized that it's useless to run from how I feel. Maybe Santana had realized she couldn't run too and that's part of why she did what she did. I don't know, I just know that if I hadn't been so scared of how I felt and just told her she wouldn't have been so sad."

Oh my God I just spilled my guts to Sue Sylvester.

"I'll tell you right now that once you feel the pull it's impossible to walk away from it. But Quinn it's also important for you to know that if you're lucky enough to ever have that feeling, you can't be afraid to embrace it. You can't care what people think because if you try to walk away from it it's going to hurt you so badly. You're tough, you can take whatever crap people throw at you for who you love. I think that in good time Santana will be tough enough to do so too. But I also know that you two aren't going to be in Lima forever, you've got bigger things than that in your futures. Places that offer bigger things tend to not care if two girls are walking around holding hands. People here care because they're angry about being here, about being stuck here where things are small. You two won't stay here much longer, when you're gone you won't have to have your guards up and fight because people will accept you. Not that there won't be a few jackasses out there but those people will be a minority. Promise me you won't walk away from each other because of fear, you can't let people pull you apart, you just can't."

I just nodded, shocked that Coach Sylvester had just dropped that kind of heartfelt knowledge on me. The bell rang before we could do anything.

"You should get to class," she said quietly.

I stood up and walked to the door, "Thanks Coach, it really means a lot."

"I know you all think I don't care, but I do. Don't forget that. If you or sandbags ever need anything I'm here. Oh and don't tell anyone about this, I need to keep up the heartless tyrant to maintain some I'm sure I've shocked you enough today so get out."

I smiled and walked towards my second period. She was right, what we feel is bigger than the small minded people who'll shun us for it. And when Santana's ready I'll tell her how I feel and we can conquer the world. Together.