Chapter 4

The Riders of Ro-Han

Eggolas looked up to the sky as the sun was rising. "A red sun rises," He said, shielding his eyes with his hand. "Blood has been spilt this night."

Hefty belched, "It always looks like that in the morning, idiot."

Eggolas shot him in the leg. And he died.

A jet was heard overhead. Eggolas and Peppercorn gazed upwards as a small something fell from the plane. They were waiting for the parachute to deploy. It didn't. The Hefty fell with a thud some fifty feet away. Peppercorn and Eggolas looked at each other with sick grins on their faces.

Another plane came across. This time the parachute deployed. Hefty came running to where the other two were standing. "Hey!" he said, as he cupped an ear to his hand. That's right. Ok… my delete key isn't working… "I hear horses!"

"No you don't." Eggolas said, annoyed and mocking.

"No, wait," Peppercorn said, "I hear it too…"

Peppercorn took off over a hill to see what he could see… see what he could see, to see what he could see… A horde of horsemen was making their way along the plains, holding a banner of Rohan at the front of the pack.

"Hey!" Peppercorn said semi-loud, "It's some more men! Maybe they'll understand me, more than this Elf and Dwarf. I sure hope so," he said, looking at Eggolas and Hefty, "Cuz' I really hate you two."

"You're mean." Hefty said.

Peppercorn scuttled down the hill and yelled at the riders. "RIDERS OF ROHAN!" he pronounced the name of the land smoothly, with no accent, "WHAT NEWS FROM THE MARK?"

The riders promptly turned as the leader led the way. They ran all the way around Peppercorn, Eggolas and Hefty. They closed in, lowering their spears as they approached. The leader rode in close as he spoke and the rest stopped moving in. "What business," the leader began, "does an Elf, a Man and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!"

Hefty tapped his axe at his side. "Give me your name Horsemaster, and I shall give you mine."

The leader hopped from his horse with beautiful grace. "I'd cut off your head, dork, if it stood but a little higher from the ground."

Eggolas chimed in, "That can be arranged! Don't worry about it," he said as he pulled a jack out of his quiver. "We have plenty of these guys!"

Eggolas cranked the jack and boosted Hefty up to eye level with the leader. "No," the leader said, "I'm sure the readers are quite sick of that joke by now."

Eggolas looked down, sad, as he lowered Hefty down to the ground.

Peppercorn talked, "Yeah, anyway, I'm Peppercorn, son of Creamedcorn. This is Hefty, son of Lefty, and Eggolas of the Westside Realm."

"Yo," Eggolas interjected.

"We are friends of Rohan," Peppercorn said, again very smoothly, "and of Theoden, your King!"

The leader looked down sadly, and reached for his helm. "Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe…" he removed his helm to reveal the beautiful face of Eomer. "Not even his own kin."

Eggolas and Hefty looked at each other, curious.

Eomer smiled and chuckled at the ground, "Yeah, I know…" he put up jazz hands, "Ah, it's Eomer! He's so beautiful!" he said in a high voice. "Yeah, but, so, Sweetin Saruman put this creepy guy in Rohan and has corrupted the mind of our King, and we got kicked out cuz we didn't like that guy. I suppose we could've banded together and beat him up, but we didn't think of that until it was too late."

Peppercorn leaned back, a little uncomfortable.

Eomer looked into his eyes, "The Wide Wizard is cunning," the riders all groaned, as if to say 'here he goes again.' "He walks here and there they say."

"Who's they?" Hefty asked.

"As an old man," Eomer continued, "Hooded and cloaked."

Peppercorn suddenly got defensive, "We're not spies!"

"I… didn't say you were…" Eomer back away this time.

"We're just looking for a band of Uruk-Pies that Blobbitnapped a few of our friends. Have you seen any of Uruk-Pies?"

"Oh yah!" one of the riders said. Eggolas stumbled back, caught off guard by the strange accent, "Yah, we killed 'em all ril' ril' good, then. They're all dead, don'tcha know."

"Dead?" Hefty asked incredulously.

"That's what he said," Peppercorn said, with a backhand raised to Hefty.

"Yeah, look over there! They're on fire now!" Eomer pointed to smoke rising from the distance. "But, since we probably killed your friends we'll give you some horses." Eomer whistled. "Hass-oo-fat! A-Rod!"

Two horses lumbered to the front, both in terrible shape, looking as though they may die at any second. "You're just dumping your dead horses on us!" Peppercorn accused.

"Well, they can still walk. They'll just die soon." Eomer said, remounting. "We ride north!"