Kimiko woke up feeling like shit.

She wasn't a frequent cusser; she hadn't been influenced by Bakugo breaking out the dirtiest swear words at the tender age of seven, but shit felt like an accurate summary of how she felt right now.

She glanced around and the movement of her eyes rolling in her head made the room spin and blur, so she closed them again. Her insides felt ravaged, sensitive and raw. Kimiko tried for a soft whining noise, but her throat was too scorched.

Her body had gotten a lot stronger during her training for One for All, but its uncontrolled and unleashed presence apparently was still too great to contain. And she didn't just feel drained physically; her mind felt scattered, unable to string together a coherent thought. Emotions other than pain seemed beyond her, her heart hovering in a frozen state of apathy. Optimism was little more than a foreign concept so wishing was nigh impossible. Kimi couldn't even muster the want for the pain to go away, just bearing it with a resigned wince.

"You're awake," came a smooth baritone voice.

Kimi managed a side-ways glance with a slight angle of the head. After her world steadied again, she saw Todoroki sitting up in his hospital bed, staring down at his legs. Her mind still felt foggy, but she was pretty sure he was talking to her.

"I feel like shit." Kimi rasped, echoing her thoughts.

"You don't sound much better either." He said. Wow, thanks. "Recovery Girl left some water near your bed; she left to take care of some idiot who expelled too much electricity and short-circuited."

Kimi closed her eyes and slowly shifted her head to where the water would be, then opened them. She'd have to move her upper body to get her arm to reach it, which sounded exceptionally tiring. "I'm good, thanks."

With an irritated sigh and a creak of the bed, Todoroki walked over and handed her the water. "Here, unless you require me to force it into your body as well, in which I refuse."

Kimi raised her head slightly to take small sips off the surface of the water, making an effort for it to not go down her windpipe; coughing would be very tiring. "Thank you. And, um…good game?"

He made a soft 'hn' of acknowledgement. "Right, the competition. I'm sure that you're aware of Yaoyorozu's ulterior motives?"

Kimi blinked. "No, actually."

"Really. Well, I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Thinking is physically painful right now," she said. "Enlighten me."

"Her quirk creates matter. Support creates equipment. She must've amassed information on Aizawa's test ahead of time and was insecure in her combat potential."

"Fifteen seconds to show off your quirk for whoever's last," Kimi remembered. "And she was very eager to go last. She's smart."

"Yeah." A sudden awkwardness seemed to dawn on him, and Todoroki glanced away. "Kimiko, I… I wanted to talk to you. About my mother."

"…Oh."

"You-you saw her? Talked to her?"

She thought about her quiet strength, hidden behind tears and a sad smile, and said, "Yeah, I ran into her in the hospital. She," Kimi started, voice wavering. "She does miss you. A lot,"

Todoroki made a small noise, apparently not sure what to do with that information. Kimi thought that his hand might've been tracing the scar around his eye, but she wasn't sure as her vision had blurred. His demeanor going cold, Todoroki straightened, saying curtly, "I'll be outside watching the matches."

And he strode out the door without another word.

She didn't contemplate it; Kimi was perfectly content to close her eyes and let exhaustion drive her into unconsciousness.

…And the next time she awoke was with consciousness being pushed through her body, and the face of an old lady hovering above her.

"Just so you know," she said, "I don't agree with forcing my resting patients conscious."

There was a sudden realization and Kimi gasped, "The results!" Suddenly, she was flooded with emotion, driving back the apathy. She started shifting, slowly but surely rising from the bed despite protests from the old lady- Recovery Girl, presumably.

"I can have you carried out on a stretcher; I don't want you walking in that condition." She said sternly. "What the actual hell didja do to your body? And just for an exam?"

"I want to walk out there and hear it for myself." Kimi said. Her face scrunching in strain, she managed to totter a few steps. "I want to do it on my own."

It made it feel more special in a way; she wanted to crawl out relying on just herself to hear if she made it; getting pulled out on a stretcher just wasn't the same. As long as she could move, Kimi wasn't going to let others carry her weight. Not for this.

Recovery Girl must've seen the determination in her eye, because with a resigned sigh and a wave of her hand, she ceased her protests, simply watching her progress as she stumbled for the door. Her legs ached, every muscle, every fiber of her being on fire as she walked. But Kimi wasn't giving up; she pushed and pushed, her trembling fingers closing around the doorframe to steady herself.

Then she fumbled; a small, seemingly insignificant movement but it sent her world abruptly tumbling onto its side, and Kimiko fumbled for a solid grip on the door. But her fingers slid past the doorknob and she was falling, the world spinning, and she felt her body slam against the cold marble floor-

There was a flash of darkness, and dancing stars.

Then she was back on her bed, splayed out with a cover being draped over her body. "I told you it was a bad idea," scolded Recovery Girl. "The damage must be worse than I thought."

I…I'm not going to be there for the results? The thought was numbing, a sort of disbelieving fog washing over her. I wanted to…I wanted to be there…

"Now, now, it's not the end of the world," warbled Recovery Girl. "Here, I'll go out and personally retrieve your results, provided you don't do anything foolish while I'm gone. Does that seem like a good deal?"

She didn't really have a choice did she? A little sullen, Kimi muttered, "Fine."

/~/

Todoroki hadn't thought about his mother in a long time, and he wasn't about to start now.

Asking had been a moment of weakness, curiosity temporarily dominating over rational thought; it wouldn't happen again. He felt shaky- only more proof that knowledge of her wouldn't give closure; it only sowed chaos within him.

She really does miss you.

Those words mere words sent the castle of ice protecting his sanity tumbling down; his own little house of cards falling and crashing to the ground. But he didn't know what to feel; his emotions were conflicted, where the sides of the conflict where unclear as well. It was unsettling, how easily his mental structure had shattered. It was like a blanked had been swept away from his eyes; revealing the bloody war within him in all its glory.

So Todoroki walked out of that room. He ran, because somewhere deep inside him he knew he only ever ran from his problems.

An explosion of darkness drew his attention to the fight before him; Tokoyami's Dark Shadow sped towards Sero, snapping through his tape and throwing him out of bounds.

Despite his loss, Sero had defied his preconceptions- the match hadn't been painfully one-sided in Tokoyami's favor and Todoroki had to admit that he'd been underestimating the tape-user. But speaking of one-sided matches…

Todoroki had heard that Yaoyorozu's match was a joke. She'd toyed with her Mineta with flash bombs and bear traps, before swiftly bashing his head in with a metal pole. Her concerns had been unfounded; she looked very combat oriented in her aggression.

Bakugo's match had been a more complicated since the invisible girl was able to remove her clothing before the match. But the melted ice from Todoroki's own match had left the ground soft, and the girl's footsteps had left indents in the ground which Bakugo used to locate her.

The rest of the matches became monotonous, and Todoroki found himself zoning out. His thoughts flashed to the image of round emerald eyes and curly forest-green hair, and a spark of anger went off in his chest.

I'm being irrational. He thought, telling himself he was associating the memory of Midoriya with the emotions of his father. He made an effort to pry the two subjects apart.

Kimiko Midoriya was an oddity in his life. Todoroki had taken her for being a shy, textbook-perfect scholar and had responded with disguised scorn when she explained how she'd won her recommendation.

"I just got good grades and stuff, you know?"

"I can tell."

He couldn't be faulted in his assumption; Midoriya certainly didn't look like a fighter. But the meek shyness seemed to disappear in battle (and when she was delirious with pain, apparently). And the pure viciousness with which she'd rushed him had left his head reeling in shock.

And there's just something unsettling about being come at with a knife; yes he literally shot fire and ice from his hands, and Bakugo created explosions, but something about a knife was just so raw and primal that was off-putting.

And the gun; he hadn't realized it was a tranquilizer at first, but seeing it caused something to overtake his body in a single rush. His final, winning burst of ice had been purely instinctual, a culmination of nerves, reflex, and the adrenaline one got when there's a gun pointed in your face. And that lead to the realization that he'd been dangerously close to losing.

The realization was a strange form of shock to him; being so close to loss while going pretty much all-out wasn't something he was familiar with.

"You sabotage your potential when you restrict your left side." His father's voice rang in his head, causing Todoroki's mouth to twist into a snarl. He forced his expression to relax, choosing to think about more pleasant things instead; it wouldn't do to simmer in hate, lest he become something akin to Katsuki Bakugo.

He let his attention drift as the matches slowly ended. Everyone gathered around their teacher, save for Midoriya (who honestly was in no shape to be going anywhere) and Aizawa had that wretched smirk on his face, dispassionate eyes adopting a cruel light to them.

"It is to my terrible disappointment to announce…" he trailed off, waiting for a dramatic beat. "That no one will be expelled!"

A relieved chatter broke out through the students, mixed with confusion, and Todoroki relaxed, even though he was confident that he wouldn't have been the one to be expelled anyways. He snuck a glance at Yaoyorozu, who was tense, her mouth set in a grim line. Curious.

Aizawa smirked. "That was just a rational deception- save your indignance for someone who cares," There was a burst of outrage. "However," he continued, ignoring the shouting, "There is still the matter of the transfers."

All conversation dropped dead.

"Toru Hagakure."

There was a despairing wail, but Aizawa's voice snapped right through. "You did not display any combat potential with your quirk, being nearly instantly taken out by Bakugo."

"No, please-"

"However, I recognize that your misfortune is partially due to the environmental circumstances set by Midoriya and Todoroki's match. It is my rational opinion that with proper training and preparation, you are capable of excelling at combat, specifically in infiltration and assassination."

The girl, or what was visible of her, slumped in relief, sobbing, "Oh, thank you, thank you, sensei-"

But Aizawa was already tearing into the next student with a viciousness. "Minoru Mineta. Your match was tragic to the point of becoming comedy. Once presented with opposition, you panicked, flailing your quirk around like a toddler. No control. No discipline." He punctuated each word with a heal-to-toe step forwards, until he was towering over the small boy. Though his quirk wasn't activated, his eyes looked alight with power.

"You will be transferred to the Support class, where I recommend you pursue a stalling and trapping approach. Consider it a miracle that you have not been expelled." He swept that burning gaze across the rest of the class, which seemed suspended in its own little sideways world of shock.

"No, wait!"

Todoroki's head swiveled sharply to see Midoriya stumbling forwards, her movements awkward and wobbly, but it was with pride and determination that she held herself before Aizawa and said,

"I object."

/~/

Narrowed eyes pinned her into place, as Shota Aizawa slowly pronounced, "Excuse me?"

Kimiko resisted the urge to quail under his gaze and forced herself to meet it evenly. "I object to your reasoning."

There was a beat of silence where the entire class seemed to be holding their breath.

"I don't think you understand the situation, Midoriya," drawled Aizawa; slowly, deliberately. "The decision wasn't up for debate."

"The hell are you doing?" she heard Todoroki hiss, and the common sense inside her mind started shrieking something along those lines. But Kimi's mouth kept moving, and she kept speaking because she couldn't just sit by and let this happen.

"You overlook certain factors." She started, her mind racing and scanning for anything to scrap together into a cohesive argument. She'd seen Mineta throw a purple ball he'd plucked off his head, and it had stuck to the ground without rolling or bouncing. Adhesive purple balls. That's it? Maybe he did deserve to fail.

You're one to judge quirks. Her mind sneered. You were planning to get in without one as a kid.

But that wasn't important right now; Aizawa was still burning holes into her head, waiting for an answer. She opened her mouth to try for something reasonable, but what crawled out was, "Maybe you just lack creativity, because his combat potential is pretty damn obvious." No, no, no, pissing off the teacher was not going to help her case. Damnit.

Adhesive balls. I really don't have much to work with here. Kimi racked her brain, trying to envision her problem from a billion different angles. Except spheres looked the same from every angle and wow, that was also a perfect anecdote to her conundrum.

"I lack creativity, do I?" Aizawa tilted his head. "Do enlighten me. And it better be amusing."

"I don't know about amusing, but I do understand rationalizing," Kimiko retorted. "And to truly be rational, you have to be thorough or else you've drawn a conclusion based on inconclusive evidence." What the hell am I saying? "In your case," she went on, "You narrow your perception of combat to be purely the direct kind, like the one-on-one fights we participated in today. And, ah…"

Damnit, I was onto something. Something to divert the problem, change the focus and present the case in a new light.

"Do go on."

She squeezed her eyes shut and said, "Combatdoesn'thavetobetothedeath."

Aizawa sneered. "Do try to be coherent."

Kimiko felt her face flush, but the realization had struck her like a bolt of lightning, shedding light on her confusion and blasting through her obstacles. "I mean, the goal of engaging in combat isn't necessarily to incapacitate your opponent. There's also escape," Her thoughts flashed to the 'villain incident'. "Rescue, capture, stalling and such. Those aren't purely Support objectives; if you want to achieve those goals, sometimes the only way to do so is to fight. And different objectives lead to different styles of fighting that may not be suitable for beating your opponent, which you overlooked."

"Oh?"

"In Mineta's case, he could fight to stall or distract- sabotage, if you will. But he'd do so by utilizing his power over the flow of combat, using his quirk to reduce the movement and locomotion of his opponent. But he would be in the midst of the fight, which vastly separates him from the Support."

At the end, Kimiko was panting, her limbs feeling weak and shaky. What the hell did I just do- oh crap, I just lectured a teacher, what the hell did I do?! More than a little hesitantly, she lifted her gaze.

Aizawa waved his hand through the air. "Whatever," he intoned, "You've convinced me. He can stay."

Kimi blinked. "Wait, that's it?" His eyes narrowed in annoyance and she backtracked frantically, saying, "I mean, not that I have a problem with that or anything- it's just that I was expecting, I dunno, a little more resistance? I'm not asking for it, I just meant, argh, don't mind me, I was just-"

"Okay, I get it."

And then there was a thump as Mineta fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face and a bit of snot coming from his nose. He lifted his trembling hands and gazed at them, before bursting into unintelligible hysterics.

A similar relief washed over Kimi herself, the common-sense part of her mind still in a stunned denial at what she'd just done. Bakugo was snarling, Todoroki palmed his face, and Uraraka was cheering, but Kimi couldn't do more than just stare blankly at Aizawa, who in turn regarded her with an air of boredom.

But despite his nonchalant posture, something glimmered in those eyes, and she thought it might have been interest.

/~/

"You're crazy." Todoroki said bluntly. "And it better not be contagious."

"It's not," Kimi assured with a small laugh. He shook his head, exasperated.

Yaoyorozu sauntered up, wearing confidence and ease in her posture. Kimiko realized she'd gotten used to the grim, tenseness that had dominated her persona, but her new demeanor suited her better. The girl gave a small wave and smiled. "Hey, Kimiko, Mr. First Place."

"That's right," Kimi groaned. "He won our contest, didn't he?"

He shrugged. "I suppose I did." It was said less with an arrogant nonchalance and more with a quiet acceptance. His eyes flickered over to Kimi. "But I'm mostly wondering what on earth possessed you to say all that."

"I mean, I, well," Kimi said, floundering to express that strange emotion that had wrenched her mouth open. "I just couldn't stand by and just watch," She finished helplessly.

"Bullshit."

Her head turned to stare at Yaoyorozu. "What?"

"Bullshit." She repeated. "Why would you care about Mineta; you've never even talked to the guy. And besides, he didn't meet Aizawa-sensei's standards so he wasn't going to make it. You wouldn't do that for a guy who failed a written exam, so why him?"

"Because he was wrong to fail him."

"Bull-shit~" Yaoyorozu sang. "How many times are you gonna make me say it? I saw you. I saw you scramble around for a good reason to give; you didn't know you were right when you opened your mouth. You can't blame me for being curious; what reason did you have to antagonize your teacher for the sake of him?"

"I don't know, okay?" Kimi exploded, sick, just sick of being poked and prodded at for answers she didn't have. "I just started talking, and I didn't even know what the hell I was doing at the time either! I still don't!"

Todoroki snorted. "Ridiculous."

She swerved to step in front of him. "Well no one asked you. And while we're interrogating each other, care to explain why the hell you don't ever visit-"

Her eyes flying wide, Kimiko slapped a hand over her mouth. Todoroki's gaze had darkened, something even wilder than his father's hellfire burning in his eyes. Awkwardly, Kimi muttered. "Never mind."

What the hell had gotten into her? First it was arguing with her teacher, then she snapped at Yaoyorozu, then she almost dragged Todoroki's personal life into the spotlight. Kimiko experienced a strange feeling of her control slipping through her fingers, the careful rigidness she was building herself into flopping to the ground.

She suddenly felt out of place, a wild card in this place full of clear-cut goals and ambition. Todoroki saw victory and needed strength to achieve it; Yaoyorozu saw the path and needed strength to walk it. But her? There was just a niggling voice, purring, What about you, Kimiko Midoriya? What about you?

She realized the two of them were staring at her in an awkward silence, and Kimi shook her head, murmuring. "Sorry, um, bye." She turned on her heel, swiftly stalking in the opposite direction.

It was her fight, she realized, that was making her feel out of place. Upon reflection, she'd been thinking about the battle in the way she thought about fighting those villains; she'd come at it with a fight or die attitude, turning it into another desperate grappling for survival. But it was out of place because it wasn't for survival. There'd been a gun, a knife, but there'd been no guts on the floor.

In a way, it showed her true intentions, laid her motivations bare; all Kimiko saw was life, and she needed strength to cling to it.

She didn't want to be that way.

What happened to that long-forgotten wish to help people? To inspire hope with a confident smile? Had it all been buried under nightmares and vomit, blood and guts until all that was left was the want to never feel that again?

That's so…shallow. So selfish. And I never even noticed myself turning into this- "Ah!" The small yelp burst from her throat as Kimi walked into something very solid.

"Try looking where you're going," said Aizawa-sensei sardonically. "It's a useful skill, really."

"Sorry sensei, I was, ah, distracted-"

"I noticed." He eyed her critically, before snapping, "Midoriya."

"Sensei?"

"Stay back after school. We're going to have a little…chat."

/~/

A/N. Despite the gender and background change, Midoriya wouldn't be Midoriya without having the irresistible urge to meddle where she doesn't have to; hence, arguing and being stubborn.

Feel free to drop a review, and until next time~