Chapter four, I don't even know what I will do for this chapter, but if you like it tell me please! Now on to the chapter!

Always-Dogfur

Chapter 4

I love you

James sat in his room thinking about the night before, oh god she was so beautiful. She was stunning and different, he loved that.

Lily sat in her room thinking about James. He was adorable, and sweet, and he made her feel safe. But she couldn't, she couldn't be with him. She was with Kyle and It just wasn't fair to him. Of course it would never be fair to him at all, nobody wanted to be with someone who loved someone else. Lily didn't of it like that though, she just didn't want to hurt Kyle, but she had to hurt James in the process. She was so torn.

James got out of his bed, sleepy but happy. Lily loved him, that's all that mattered to him at the moment. He walked down to the Head common room and saw her sitting on the couch clutching her knees. She looked up and saw James walking over to her, he looked so cute in his pajamas and messy hair, as if it wasn't messy everyday.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows in extreme thought. What was she going to say to him? She was scared. After thinking for a long time she didn't know if she was really in love with him, and the thought scared her. She needed to say something, she couldn't just let him fall for her while she didn't even know what she felt. She didn't know whether this was love or just lust.

Kyle was a good guy, he was sweet and caring, and not to mention handsome. Lily sighed, she had to say something, she didn't know what. James sat down next to her and could see the expression on her face, it wasn't a good one.

"Are you okay?" He asked with concern. She looked at him and couldn't do it, she just couldn't, but she had to. She let the words spilled out of her mouth without even thinking,

"James, I don't love you." She blurted out. Lily felt her stomach churn, she didn't want to say that.

It was too late.

"Oh…" he said looking down to his legs.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, no it's fine, you just thought it was okay to let me think you liked me too, when you actually didn't." He said with a more serious angry tone.

"No I-" Lily stuttered, she was about to cry.

"Was this to get back at me? Because I really did love you." He stared at her with something different than before. His stare had changed in just a few seconds. "I suppose you thought it would be funny to trick me into thinking you loved me too, didn't you? Was this all some sort of façade?"

"No, I didn't want-" Lily didn't finish her sentence, she only stared at him moving her mouth up and down, she didn't know what to say. She's thought about it for a long time and didn't know if she loved him, but this certainly wasn't a trick.

"I think I'll go." James said as he got up quickly, he didn't want to hear her answer. Lily finally let the tears fall down her face.

"James please." She choked out, her throat seemed to be closing, and she felt suddenly very nauseous. He walked out without a backwards glance and left Lily to herself. She let out a shaky breath and started to choke on her own tears. Lily had thought she loved him the night before but now it was different the more she thought about the more she didn't understand her own feelings. But she didn't want this to happen, she was scared, she was scared of Love.

Lily never thought about falling in love the same way her friends did, she was scared to fall in love. Love was a big step, it was commitment, and promises. She didn't think she was capable of that. Love meant something completely different than what she was used to. It was so simple yet powerful, the words were even worse, and saying them could give the other person so much hope, hope that might never be returned. Someone could say "I love you" and not even mean it, and the other could think it was real. Finding out the truth was heartbreaking, and she didn't want to be heartbroken. Lily never thought she would be the one to break someone's heart, she hadn't even said the words, but she didn't need to for James to see it in her.

Her friends thought love was magical. Something pure and unforgettable, Lily knew otherwise. She knew that love wasn't always true and pure, it was also fake and painful. There were so many people who misused the word love, or just didn't mean it all. Lily was afraid of it, the person saying it had so much power over the other, when James had said it to her she didn't know what to think, she didn't know if she loved him, she didn't even know what true love was.

James left the Head dorms and walked quickly over to the quidditch pitch. It was the only place he felt okay, there he could let all of his anger go. He grabbed a random broom from the broom closet and flew up above the grounds. James sat on the broom and looked out across the field. He let out a breath that he had been holding for a while and closed his eyes.

James let the breeze sway him a little and felt it run through this hair and past his face. How could Lily do that to him? Why did she do that to him? He was still so in love with her. He couldn't stop. The nights before played through his head and he thought of their kiss at the ball. She looked amazing, and when he kissed her he felt energized again. She didn't push him away that time either and he was sure she would. But she didn't, she made him think that she actually loved him, or at least fancied him. James flew back down to the ground, if he stayed up there thinking about her any longer he was most likely going to fall off.

Lily slowly walked up to her room, she knew James wasn't going to be coming anytime soon but she didn't want to sit in the same spot she'd made one of her worst mistakes.

She didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to say that she loved him when all her life she's hated him? It's very shocking to find out someone's been in love with you for six years when that's the person you've despised for six years. She didn't know if she loved him, not yet.

Weeks later and Lily still moped around everyday, she didn't want to do anything, she didn't seem to have the energy for it. All of her friends noticed this and knew what was going on. She missed James, even just as friends she seemed happier. She regretted everything that happened that day, and now that James was ignoring her, she felt even worse, she didn't want to hurt Kyle but she knew she didn't want to be with him either. Lily had to do something about it though, and she knew the only way was to break up with him. She just didn't want to do it over a letter.

James made his way back to the castle and went up to the Gryffindor common room, it was almost Christmas and he wanted to see his friends again. James didn't want to go back to his own room knowing he would probably see Lily, and he just couldn't do that, even now. He walked up to his old dormitory and found Remus sitting and doing his schoolwork. "Hey Moony.." James said slowly. "Where's Padfoot and Wormtail?"

"They went down to the kitchens, I wanted to finish my work so I stayed up here." Remus answered without looking up.

"That's good, I guess." James said awkwardly. Remus finally looked up and saw the face James was making, he understood something was wrong.

"You Never told us what happened with Lily. What did happen?" He asked with concern.

"She told me she doesn't love me." James blurted out, it felt good to tell someone.

"What? Why?" Remus asked with more confusion.

"She was trying to get back at me, for a prank I didn't do."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Well, no, but why else would she?-"

"Maybe because she was scared." Lucy cut in, she had been standing in the doorway for a few seconds before she decided to cut in.

"What are you doing here?" James asked shocked that there was a girl who was friends with Lily talking to him.

"I'm here to help Lily, I hate seeing one of my best friends so miserable." She said impatiently.

"What do you mean help Lily? She's the one who said she didn't love me." James said in anger and confusion.

"I don't know if you noticed but she didn't want to say that, she was scared."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh my god Potter, you really are oblivious to everyone around you." She said even more annoyed.

"What-"

"Oh for Dumbledore's sake just shut up and listen, she loves you, she just doesn't know that yet. I can see it and I know you can too. She's scared, it's completely new to her, and plus she has a boyfriend. And you know Lily, she won't just break up with him so suddenly." Lucy said without stopping. She stared at James waiting for a response.

"So, she er- she does love me?" James asked awkwardly.

"Oh don't be an idiot James Potter, you know she does!" James looked to Lucy and stood up abruptly. He made a terrible mistake, all the anger took over him that day, and he made himself believe that Lily only wanted to hurt him. But he knew she didn't, she would never want to hurt anyone, and he made her miserable. James hurt her, when she hurt him, but only out of fear. He felt so much regret, he hurt Lily, She didn't deserve this, she was scared, he understood that now. How could you not be scared when someone unexpectedly says they are in love with you.

He ran out of the room and down the stairs, all the way out in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. He stopped suddenly and realized what he was doing, he couldn't go running to Lily without a plan. He turned around to see Lucy and Remus behind him both with confused looks. He must've looked stupid running down in such a hurry without a reason. "What are we going to do?" He asked quickly.

Lily sat in her room, trying to start a letter to Kyle. She didn't know what to write, or how to say what she was thinking. She wanted to break up with him, but thought it would be better to do it in person. She wanted to tell him that she needed to talk to him over Christmas break, that was the only way, she needed to go home and see him. She thought about James once again and sighed, what was she going to do about him? She wondered if he was staying at school for Christmas, she quickly pushed him out of her mind and tried to do something else. It didn't work.

James was sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Lucy, Alice, Frank, Jay, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They were all trying to come up with a plan to help James say he was sorry to Lily, of course the plan had to be amazing and the execution perfect, because it was James after all. Sirius had very extravagant ideas, but no one knew how to put them in action, so his those were ruled out. Remus thought of something simple and sweet, but James thought it was too boring for his taste. Alice wanted something sweet and nice, she knew Lily wouldn't want something so hectic. Nobody knew what to do, and James was getting worried. He wanted to have a perfect plan for Lily, and he was bummed she wasn't staying for Christmas, but he couldn't tell her what to do.

The next morning anyone leaving for Christmas had to go soon, and Lily said goodbye to everyone, with a sad glance towards James she left and James sighed. He needed to do something about this, he couldn't stand it, he still loved her and she loved him, everyone knew it. He watched Lily leave and as soon as she was gone he turned and looked at everyone. He had no idea what to do.

Lily made it home safely and went straight to Diagon Alley, she told Kyle to meet her there, she didn't want to go to hogsmeade in fear of seeing someone she knew. She walked over to the Leaky Cauldron and sat at the bar, there she waited for him. He showed up a few minutes later and walked over to Lily looking happy to see her. She immediately felt horrible, he was happy and she was going to break up with him, how was she going to do this. She put the best smile on her face, which wasn't very good, and got up as Kyle came over. She needed to get this over with as fast as possible, she didn't want to keep dragging him along like this. "Lily, I missed you." He said with a slight smile.

"I- I missed you too." She said nervously, she had to do it. He hugged her and Lily pulled him out of the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley, she wanted to walk with him for a little. "So how was the Ministry?" She asked trying to start a conversation.

"Oh it's great, there is always something happening, but I actually wanted to talk with you."

"Really? Me too." She replied a little shocked.

"Good, how about we sit?" He pointed to a chair outside of Florean Fortescue's and Lily sat down nervously.

"Kyle-"

"Lily-" They both tried to say something at the same time and stopped awkwardly.

"Er, you go first." He said with a small smile.

"Oh alright, Kyle, I.. I think we should break up.." she said slowly.

"Really? Heh, I was actually going to say the same thing." he said with awkwardly.

"You wanted to break up too?"

"Er, yes I just, I really like you Lily but I just don't think we are really good together."

"Oh thank goodness." Lily said relieved but she covered her mouth and started to blush. "I mean, I feel the same way, I just you know, we are, you are great but us, it just isn't a good thing."

"Lily, I know why you wanted to break up with me, truly." He said with reassurance.

"What?" She asked scared of the answer.

"It's pretty obvious really, you love Potter, and I think he loves you too. From the way you talk about him I could tell and I don't want to keep you from that."

"Kyle, you are so great, really, I just wish I hadn't messed everything up."

"It doesn't matter what you did, I don't think James will stop loving you, I can tell. Whatever you did won't matter in time." He said consoling her, he got up and said bye to Lily with a good luck and left. Lily stayed seated and thought about what he said, did he really still love her? She hoped so, Lily knew now what she was feeling. She loved him.

A week went by and James spent Christmas with his friends, he was waiting for Lily to come back, but he still didn't know what he was going to do. "How about you set off fireworks that spell, 'Lily I'm sorry, Wanna Snog?'" Sirius said as a joke. James glared at him and Sirius got the message, "Prongs m'boy don't worry, she still loves you, I can feel it." He said while rubbing his hands together. James looked at the door hoping to see her walking down to him with a smile, but he knew otherwise. She wasn't supposed to be coming back until the next day. Lucy came up to them and sat down next to James, pushing Sirius out of the way. "Hey-" Sirius complained.

"Potter what's going on? What is the plan?" She asked impatiently.

"I don't know, I don't know what I'm gonna say or do. I just don't know." He said with a frown.

"Just be honest." Remus said from across the table.

"Be honest? That's a great idea, I'll just say, 'Hey Lily, I'm sorry I thought you were trying to get me back by tricking me, how about you be my girlfriend and not talk about anything that happened?' Sure she will love that." He said with sarcasm.

"You know that's not what I meant! Be honest, as in tell her you're sorry and that you still fancy her, you just thought she was trying to hurt you because you were scared she wouldn't like you." Remus said.

"You don't-"

"Oh yes I do know that James, because I can see it, you're afraid of her rejecting you, and who wouldn't be? That's why you were so hurt when she said she didn't love you." Remus cut in with a demeaning glare. James closed his mouth and blinked, he was hoping nobody would know that.

"Fine, that may be true but I still don't know how I will say that."

"Just don't make it fake." Remus said while going back to his breakfast. James took a deep breath, he was too nervous and it was only the day before. He felt like it was the morning of a big quidditch match, nervous and slightly excited. He needed to fix this whole thing, he knew the best way was to have a plan, just like in quidditch, but having a plan for this wasn't working. James decided he was going to say whatever felt right, whatever he needed to say to her, he knew it would come to him. He was only afraid she wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore.

The next day James waited nervously, as soon as Lily came through those doors he was going to tell her. No matter what, he would. Now it was only waiting, he didn't have a plan, but he didn't care, Surprisingly.

Lily walked to the castle, and was happy to be back but scared because of James, she had to tell him something. She was sorry of course, but the reason is much more complicated. She walked through the doors and into the entrance hall, there she was met by James. "Lily!" James said in shock.

"James?"

"Lily, I- er, I need to-" James thought and decided only to say one thing, he took a deep breath, "Lily, I love you." This Time it was Lily who kissed him. She pulled him down making him arch his back, just like before, and put her lips on his. James was too shocked and happy to object, and he grabbed her waist pulling her in closer. Lily wrapped both arms around his neck and smiled, "I love you too."

James pulled her into him and didn't let go. They were finally together.

Finally finished this chapter, I'm so sorry it took so long I just was so busy and there were so many times I had part of it written and then deleted it all and started over, so I really hope you liked this, it's the last chapter of this story. Should I create a sequel? Tell Me if you like it!

Always- Dogfur