My home, under normal circumstances, is a pleasantly normal haven in the abnormal world I usually inhabit. Though there have been several occasions on which the freakish results of Haruhi's unnatural desires have disturbed the peace: my younger sister being recruited into SOS Brigade activities like the baseball tournament, for example, or my having to adopt a talking cat. Shamisen still lives here, and one could perceive him as a reminder of weirdness invading my home, but he no longer talks and really, he's good companion, even if he does nothing but sleep.
I was also right here, safe in my bed, when Haruhi swept me in my dreams into a Sealed Reality with her, into her own strange, empty vision of a new world.
But let's not think about that.
In other words, my home is almost always a place where I am safe from the strange and distressing occurrences that had plagued me ever since I first met the anomaly in human form with the name of Suzumiya Haruhi. Taking this into consideration, naturally you will understand that I was unpleasantly surprised when Ryuk floated through my bedroom wall that night.
Although Ryuk never demonstrated any facial expression except for a wide grin, I believe it looked more evil than usual when I picked myself up off the floor after having yelled out loud, jumped up out of bed and fallen on the floor. Of course, as well as making Ryuk look at me with that laughing expression on his face, such a reaction on my part only led to my mother and sister running into my room to check on me. Dammit, Ryuk, that's just too embarrassing. At least they couldn't see Ryuk – that would have been too difficult to explain. I suppose at last there is a supernatural being in my life which is somewhat convenient.
As it turned out, it was fortunate for me that Shamisen's preferred sleeping place was my bed, as I could explain that something had startled the cat and he had woken me from my sleep by attacking me with his claws in fear. By the time they had been convinced that there was no danger to me and gone back to bed themselves, I was no longer the least bit concerned that an ugly god of death had materialised in my bedroom while I was trying to get to sleep.
The truth was that Ryuk's appearance in my room was not truly surprising. Of course, I had not expected him to appear at exactly this time and place, but all the other members of the SOS Brigade who possessed otherworldly powers, whom Haruhi had subconsciously summoned to her side, had soon afterwards made sure to meet with me. Nagato, Asahina and then Koizumi all sought meetings with me in order to explain who they were, why they came here and why Haruhi was significant to them. And for some reason they all insisted on my importance as well, even though they all admitted that I was nothing more than a normal human being.
Taking this into consideration, I had expected Ryuk to approach me for a private discussion some time in the next few days. I had simply not expected it so quickly – nor in my house, and especially not while I was wearing pyjamas. But aside from the unusual circumstances, this meeting was not really a surprise at all, and so it was only to be expected that I quickly regained my composure.
"You seemed surprised to see me," Ryuk said.
A little. But I should have expected it.
"Really? Why is that?"
"All the others sought me out very quickly in order to discuss their true identities with me." I shrugged. "So, I suppose you've come to tell me that you first became aware of the entity known as Suzumiya Haruhi three years ago, is that correct?"
"No."
Ah, I see.
No, I don't understand at all! Surely you must have known of the importance of Suzumiya Haruhi some time ago?
"Not at all. The first time I encountered this girl was only yesterday."
In that case, you must be about to tell me that you came into existence three years ago, or that you were once an ordinary human being who became a shinigami three years ago, is that true?
"No. Why would I say that? I have existed for millennia. The gods of death have probably existed since the beginning of time."
Well, Koizumi, your prediction that the world as we know it came into existence three years ago cannot be true! But if Ryuk was unaware of the existence of Suzumiya Haruhi until yesterday, and he believes that he has existed since long before the time three years ago when Haruhi first began to exercise her powers, then he is different from all the other strange people who have been drawn into the SOS Brigade.
"This is most unusual."
"What did you expect of me? I'm a god of death – that's a concept so far from human experience that you should be incapable of comprehending my existence. And yet you humans, Haruhi and your friends, show little surprise at all."
Well, that would be because the SOS Brigade is made up of an alien, a time traveller, an esper and our leader, who has power beyond anything else imaginable and yet has no knowledge of this.
"Is that so?" His eyes were big enough already, but they're even bigger when he's surprised. "Very interesting."
Ryuk, I think you had better tell me more about yourself.
His smile grew wider again. Damn, that's creepy. "You're curious, aren't you? You and I are very similar, I believe."
Don't compare us! I don't want to be likened to a god of death which such an ugly face.
"Very well then." Ryuk settled down for a long talk, or at least I think that's what he was doing – he folded his wings tightly to his back and settled to the ground instead of hovering mid-air. I wondered, very briefly, whether I should offer him a cup of tea or some other form of hospitality.
"As I said before, the Death Note is a shinigami's primary tool, and the first rule of the Death Note is that the human whose name is written in this note will die."
The gods of death are divine beings who watch over humanity. Every human has a predetermined life span, and when a god of death looks upon the face of a human, he or she can see that human's name and their predetermined time of death. So if every human's time of death is predetermined from birth, why do the gods of death carry notebooks with which to hasten the deaths of humans?
"A god of death can extend his life by putting human names on the note, but humans cannot."
The gods of death are neither mortal nor immortal; the lifespan of a god of death is equal to the amount of life he has taken away from human beings. In other words, when Ryuk writes the name of a human in his notebook, the amount of time between the person's predestined time of death and the time at which Ryuk kills him is added to Ryuk's lifespan. Gods of death can make judgements on humans and interfere with events and history by using the Death Note to kill humans, but do it primarily in order to extend their own lives.
"This note shall become the property of the human world once it touches the ground of arrives in the human world."
The gods of death belong to a separate world to the human world; this is why Ryuk is able to pass through objects that appear as solid to humans, and why humans are normally unable to see him. The Death Note, when in the possession of a god of death, also belongs to that world. However, when Ryuk dropped his Death Note in the human world, he was unable to take it back as it had become a part of this world. Since it is truly a part of this world now, humans can use the note to kill people by writing names in it, too, although some conditions are different for humans than for gods of death. The only way for Ryuk's note to become a part of his world again was for a human to take possession of it and willingly return it to him, so he waited for a human to find it.
And that human was Haruhi.
"The person in possession of the Death Note is possessed by a god of death, its original owner, until they die."
Ryuk is the owner of Haruhi's Death Note, and so for as long as she is its current owner, Ryuk will be haunting her. He has no obligation to either help or hinder her aims and may act in any way he chooses, but he will remain watching over Haruhi until she either relinquishes possession of the note or until her death.
"You may as well give up now, Ryuk. I know Haruhi, and there's no way she's going to give up that note."
"How annoying. It's embarrassing for such an important notebook to contain the silly things that she's writing in it. Even though the Death Note will never run out of pages, the more she writes now, the more I'll have to rip out when I get it back."
Even though I don't want Haruhi to keep the Death Note, I really can't believe that Ryuk wants to take it away from her, especially when his motive for leaving it around was 'boredom'. It's too great a coincidence, and my past experience would suggest that no supernatural creature who finds Haruhi does so without a reason. Who is Suzumiya Haruhi to you?
"You keep asking me these questions," Ryuk said, "You and Koizumi Itsuki. None are you are at all what I expected from humans. Haruhi thinks I'm the best thing that ever happened to her. The rest of you barely seem surprised at my existence, yet you are fixated on Haruhi herself. Just what is going on?"
You really aren't like the others at all, are you?
"What others? In the SOS Brigade? Of course not, I'm not human."
That, of course, was too much. This huge, ugly, rather terrifying god of death was so clueless about the world he had stumbled into – it almost makes him look innocent and naïve. Thrown in with Nagato, Koizumi, Asahina-san and Haruhi herself, without any idea as to who any of them really were. I almost feel sorry for him, but the truth is, I was laughing too much to really feel any pity.
"Why is that funny?"
"Because we're not humans. Or at least not normal humans. Koizumi told you earlier today – he's an esper and a representative of the 'Organisation' of other espers. Asahina Mikuru is a time-traveller, and a low-ranked representative of the Time Agency. Nagato…"
How could I possibly explain Nagato? Truthfully, having heard Ryuk discuss the Death Note, and calling himself a god, I believe that Nagato must still be far more powerful than he is; definitely the most powerful person I have yet encountered, except for Haruhi herself. Her abilities to manipulate space and matter are beyond belief, not to mention her unbelievable skills with the computer. Nagato… Nagato is simply…
"Well, Nagato is an alien. Sort of. She's a… a… data thing. A representative of the Integrated Data Entity."
"I see."
Ryuk clearly didn't understand at all.
"No, I think I understand somewhat. She is from a different world?"
Not in the same way that you are. A different planet.
"Very interesting."
So are you like the others? Is there a whole organisation of gods of death who have some grand plan, and have sent you to execute it, or observe? There's no need to lie, nothing can shock me any more.
"Organisation? Hardly." Ryuk scoffed. "The gods of death are… they're… degenerate. All they do is gamble. That's it. They have no aims at all. They have no purpose. And if there's anything that the gods of death aren't, it's organised!"
He had spread his wings in agitation and was leaning towards me as he became more vehement. Ryuk, calm down! Even though he didn't seem all that angry, nothing like Haruhi in full flight, a ranting god of death looming towards one would make anyone uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry," Ryuk immediately backed off and settled back down on the other side of the room. "But to answer your question, I represent nobody but myself."
"I see. That makes sense." But you haven't explained everything. No supernatural being comes to North High for no reason. No matter what Ryuk tries to tell me, he must have some reason for watching Haruhi. "And so your objective in interfering in our lives is… what?"
"Because I am bored."
That's it? Nothing about the potential for evolution, or anomalies in space-time, or saving the world?
"Evolution and space-time are meaningless to me. And what do I care of the fate of the world? Don't be fooled into thinking that I care for humans – the individuals or the race. Some gods of death have been known to care about individual humans, but that is the worst thing that can happen to one of us."
"I don't understand!" This guy was becoming very frustrating! "Why are you here? Don't keep avoiding the question. You can't have come here for no reason."
"I came here because I was bored." Ryuk said this as if it were a very simple thing, but from the way he twisted his head away from me and stared towards the window, I suspected that it was more than that. "I was bored, that's all. When all I can do is gamble and kill humans, what's the point? I didn't do anything important or significant at all. There isn't even any meaning to the life of a god of death, really – humans will die eventually whether their names are written in a Death Note or not."
And so you left this Death Note just lying around in a school yard in Japan?
"Yes. The rules of the Death Note are different for humans than for gods of death, and humans are much more interesting! I wanted to see what a human would do with the Death Note, whether a human could use it for more than just killing people at random and do something even more powerful." This guy is seriously concerning. If he were a human, I'd think he were insane. "So I left it on Earth and waited to see who would pick it up."
Of course. Of course, it was Haruhi.
Come to think of it, Ryuk sounds a lot like Haruhi, especially in the days before the SOS Brigade when she had nothing to do. Of course, Haruhi's idea of entertainment was not leaving a lethal weapon around where anyone could pick it up and use it. I don't think even she would be that extreme. Still, it's funny that Ryuk thinks Haruhi's embarrassing and he wants to get his Note back when she's just like him.
I could have told him that. But I really don't want to encourage this guy to stick around.
"So what are you going to do about getting your notebook back?"
"I don't know," said Ryuk, touching his chin with one long finger in a thoughtful gesture. "I thought that when I revealed myself to her she would be scared into returning the Death Note. When that didn't work, I thought that explaining how the note works would scare her, but she just didn't listen to me. It seems that there is no way to convince her to return the Death Note."
And she has to decide to give it back to you? You can't just take it, or order her to return it?
"No, I'm afraid not. It must be returned willingly."
Damn. That's a pain. Haruhi definitely won't give up something like that on her own.
"Of course…" Ryuk had a sly look on his face as he picked up his second Death Note. "I could always just kill her."
If a normal person such as Taniguchi made a comment like this, I would respond sarcastically to say how much easier my life would be without Haruhi. When someone like Ryuk says this, however, it is nothing to joke about, and I'm ashamed to say that for some minutes I could formulate no response and simply stared at Ryuk in horror. This is a plan of action I cannot condone under any circumstances. I would rather keep Ryuk around and take my chances than have Haruhi dead.
No amount of trouble that girl can cause is so bad that she should die.
It's odd that I took Ryuk so seriously, because it appears that he was joking. After I'd spent a few moments sweating, he broke into raucous laughter and assured me - though his tone was not so reassuring - that he wasn't going to kill Haruhi. You jerk, don't scare me like that. I've had enough shocks today without you playing with my nerves as well.
Besides, I don't even know whether it would be possible to kill Haruhi.
"Weren't you listening before? The person whose name is written in this note will die. Once the name is written, the death cannot be avoided. I could kill Haruhi in less than a minute and nothing would be able to stop me."
Maybe.
But you never know with Haruhi.
Ryuk shrugged. "She is a human. You all die. The only question is 'when?', and I can decide the answer if I want to."
"Ryuk, you can read people's lifespans, correct?" He nodded. "Just out of curiosity, how long will Haruhi live for?"
"You know, I never really noticed…" His eyes widened suddenly as he realised. "But that's impossible?"
What's impossible? Is she immortal?
"Why didn't I notice when I first met her? I must not have been paying attention! The numbers are there, but I've never seen anything like that… her lifespan may as well be infinite! No human can live that long!" He turned to me and asked, in a mildly surprised voice, "Is this why you all treat her as a special person? Who is she?"
It's funny, really. Everyone else had an answer to that question, except the one who now lives in her bedroom.
"Haruhi… to Nagato, she is the potential for evolution. To Asahina, she is a temporal distortion, a 'time-quake'. To Koizumi, she is God."
"And who is she to you?"
Don't ask me such a personal question! "She's a very crazy teenage girl who is probably going to cause my untimely death one day."
"This is strange. I can't see how she is special in any way, except that she didn't react to me the way I expected. But you all say that Haruhi is a powerful person – Koizumi, you say, calls her 'God' – and she still appears to be an ordinary human to me, even if she will live for an unusually long time."
Ordinarily I would be suspicious of a stranger who appeared in the SOS Brigade and believed that Haruhi was an ordinary human. I would think that they were in some way against us, or hiding something. And yet for some reason, Ryuk, despite being such a disturbing creature, seemed perfectly innocent to me. If Nagato or Koizumi – and maybe even Asahina – claimed such ignorance, I would be suspicious of them. But Ryuk, I think is really being honest.
Oh, Ryuk. Do you really think that it was only by chance that Haruhi was the person who picked up the Death Note?
"Of course."
It wasn't.
"How can you be so sure?"
Trust me. "When the others call Haruhi by those things – when they say she is 'God' – they refer to the power she has to make things happen the way she wants them to. And what Haruhi wants is for interesting things to happen. So when a creature like Ryuk-san comes to Earth, Haruhi will bring you to her, whether you know it or not. Whether she knows it or not."
"Why?"
"Because she's bored."
"And she is not aware of these powers?"
"Haruhi believes herself to be an ordinary human being." And she hates it.
"I see…" Ryuk stared off into the distance again. "It's possible, I suppose, that she is a more interesting person than I thought."
That's not good. If Ryuk decides that it's more interesting for him to provoke Haruhi than to get the notebook back from her, I'll lose my only good chance at solving this mess.
"Ryuk, I can help you to get your notebook back. Or at the least, I can try. Let's both do our best to convince Haruhi to return it!"
"Mmmm," said Ryuk, thoughtfully, "Yes, perhaps that's the best idea. Despite what you say about Haruhi, she is an ordinary human to me. And an embarrassing one. I'd rather place the Death Note in the hands of someone less… exuberant."
What's that, Ryuk? Is Haruhi too much for you to handle?
"I am a male, you know. I'm shy when it comes to girls."
Ugh, I don't want to know that! At any rate, let's be friends and work together, Ryuk! Here, I'll even shake your lethal-looking hand to seal our alliance!
He just stared at my outstretched hand for a moment before he laughed. "We might have the same aim in this case, but don't make the mistake of thinking that I care about human beings. It's of no concern to me if it creates trouble for you or puts you in danger. You're all entertainment to me. The only reason I'm working with you is because Haruhi is so annoying."
Sigh. I suppose I should have expected that. Ryuk is unlike the others in every other way, so perhaps it's not so strange that he doesn't want to be a true ally. At least we can agree to a certain extent.
I looked at the clock. It was after one o'clock in the morning, and I yawned without thinking. Dammit, I'm too tired to deal with this right now! I have a feeling that I'm not going to be fortunate enough to have very much rest for as long as Ryuk is around, and I can't deal with this difficult person right now. No matter what we agree tonight, Haruhi is certain to do something crazy tomorrow, and I'll need plenty of sleep to deal with that.
"I think it's time I returned to Haruhi's side."
I have no objections to that. The sooner I can get back to sleep, the better. But there's something that's missing from this conversation so far.
"One last thing, Ryuk," I said, before he could leave. "You said that you are to 'possess' Haruhi, or to haunt her, until she gives up the note, or until she dies."
"That's right," he replied, with the particular form of grin I had come to think of as the 'creepy leer' – not that all his smiles weren't creepy. "Why? Does it bother you? Are you scared for your friend? Because I'm not going to hurt her."
Of course you won't, that's probably not even possible. It's just that if you're supposed to be haunting her, then why did you come to see me tonight?
"Because you are the person who is most important to Haruhi."
After the expected meeting had progressed in such an entirely unexpected fashion, Ryuk has finally responded to a question in a way that any of the other SOS Brigade members would. Perhaps the one constant, the most unchangeable thing about the events and the beings that I meet is that I will always be regarded as 'the person chosen by Suzumiya-san'.
That's a little disturbing, actually.
And yet, this doesn't make sense. The others were only interested in me and my relationship with Haruhi because of Haruhi herself. And you weren't even aware that she was a powerful person! Why do I matter, then? Why come and talk to me? How can I even represent 'a person who is important to Suzumiya-san' to you if you have no concept of who Suzumiya-san really is?
"Humans can be so stupid," Ryuk shook his head. "So interesting, but so stupid. What makes you think that Haruhi has to have powers for her to choose you? Why should only your friends, who recognise Haruhi as something more than a human, be able to see that you are important to her?"
Ryuk stared at me for a while. I looked away. It's really hard to look that guy in the eyes.
"I know that you are important to Haruhi because she writes about you."
I remembered some time ago, when Haruhi was complaining to me about all her concerns, I suggested she should write down her thoughts in a diary. I didn't think she would really do it, though! Who would have thought that Haruhi Suzumiya would ever actually take my advice?
Wait, though. If Haruhi has been writing about me, and Ryuk knows what she's written, does that mean…
"Yes, she has been using the Death Note as a diary to record her thoughts about you."
For God's sake, Haruhi! She has a notebook that can kill people and she uses it as a diary? Doesn't she know how dangerous that could be? She could kill someone just because they happen to have stuck in her memory one day! Is Haruhi even aware of what that notebook can do?
"She may be aware of its power, but if she is, she shows no sign of it," Ryuk said, with a shrug. "She said she didn't bother reading the instructions because they were in English, and she doesn't listen to me when I try to explain things to her."
That, of course, is typical of Haruhi. But then… a chilling thought occurred to me. If Haruhi has been writing about me in the Death Note, shouldn't I be dead? Is it her desire which is keeping me alive?
"I wondered, when I first saw some of the things she had written, whether she was going to be unpleasantly surprised to find you dead in the morning. I thought that would be really interesting."
I'm not sure that I like a guy who thinks my untimely death would be 'interesting' to be in my bedroom at night. He's starting to sound like Asakura.
"But then she introduced me to you the next morning and it turns out that Kyon isn't your real name. That explains why she didn't kill you."
So only a person's real name can be written in the Death Note to kill them?
"That's right."
For the first time, I'm really glad my little sister decided to give the nickname that I've complained about for such a long time. In fact, I hope nobody ever remembers my real name!
"I'm going now," Ryuk said, suddenly, "Goodbye." And then he vanished before I could so much as raise a hand to wave to him. What on Earth made him vanish so suddenly? Heh, I suppose Haruhi woke up and he has to be right there with her all the time or else she'll get mad. I don't envy having to constantly stay by Haruhi's side! Although if he does get to spend all that time in Haruhi's bedroom…
I switched off the light and crawled back into bed at that point, determined to spend the rest of the night peacefully and happily dreaming of Asahina Mikuru.
It's been a while. Sorry to anyone who reviewed and didn't get a reply from me - I stopped checking my emails for a while there. However, I'll endeavour to update more from now on - the first draft of the whole fic is already complete and I'm uploading chapters as I edit them. Thanks for reading!