Half an hour later Kotter escorted Epstein into his apartment. Julie knew some of the situation, and after Gabe quietly apprised her of the latest, agreed to help.
"First thing we need to do is call your mother and let her know what's going on."
Epstein blanched. "We don't have to call her…she won't miss me."
Kotter folded his arms. "Juan…"
"Well, I'll tell her that I'm…I'm working on a school project. That you're helping me with a school project."
"Epstein, you can't lie to your mother."
"You can!"
"No one is lying to your mother," Kotter stated, picking up the phone.
Epstein's expression grew even more miserable. "She's gonna kill me," he moaned.
"Well, it'll have to wait until later. What's your number?"
Kotter ignored Juan's pleading face as he spoke on the phone. "Juan's going to be staying at my apartment for a few days. Well, he's got something that he needs to work out. Yes, as a matter of fact, it is related to his trip to Newark. Yes. Well, it wasn't easy, but I think he's ready to quit. Not much, but we'll do the best we can. Yeah, that would be great. Okay. Thank you, too. Okay. Bye."
He hung up, meeting Juan's eyes.
"She knew."
"Yep."
Epstein's brows knit in confusion. "But…she didn't…"
"She told me she was about to send you off to get treatment." Gabe paused. "Would you rather do that?"
Juan's reaction was automatic. "No, no, I wanna stay here." He seemed to backpedal. "I mean, I know you, and I don't know where she would send me or nothing."
"I understand. She does too."
"I guess it's a little bit that I have control over," Juan replied with a rueful smile. He became silent, obviously brooding.
"I've heard about what it's like," he finally said, glancing over at Kotter.
Gabe took in Epstein's expression, noting the fear. "Withdrawal?"
"Yeah." Juan folded his arms around himself. "It's really bad. Like Mr. Woodman said."
"From what I know about withdrawal, he's right."
"What if…" Epstein involuntarily shuddered. "Um, what if I can't…do this?"
"You can do it."
Epstein didn't reply, but reached for the blanket that Julie had set out for him. Kotter noticed that the occasional shivering had become more frequent.
"Juan, I know you're scared," Kotter said, ignoring the scowl he received. "Anybody would be. But you're going to make it. You're strong and determined—some would say stubborn." He smiled. "Just remember that you've got a bunch of people behind you."
"I let everybody down."
"I don't think the guys feel that way."
"I don't deserve any help. I've been really stupid."
"Yes, you have."
Epstein bowed his head, obviously not expecting Kotter to agree with him and trembling harder than before.
"So how'd you get started with this?"
"I told you, I've been stupid."
"Okay, so we agree that you've been stupid. Now how about some details?"
Squirming uncomfortably, Epstein didn't answer, and Gabe pressed for more information. "I've
gone out on a limb for you, Juan. I think I deserve some answers."
"Well, I was in New Jersey. With my cousin."
"Yeah. They guys said you were gone all summer."
Juan nodded. "Supposed to be fun. You know, spending time with my aunt and uncle. We didn't know…"
"Know what?"
"I feel like I'm ratting out my cousin."
"I'm not the police, Juan."
After another pause, Epstein continued. "I hadn't been out there for long when I found out that Tony, my cousin, was in a gang. Real tough, you know? His parents can't do anything about it, and they just let him do whatever he wants."
"Not a great situation," Kotter commented.
"No, but I thought it was cool, you know? Tony took me to meet his gang, and they were the real thing, and they took me with them. I felt like I belonged." A tremor cut him off.
"Were they using drugs?" Gabe asked.
Epstein grimaced in pain. "Man. Uh, yeah. It was no big deal to them. I didn't want to get into that, but…" He once again stopped, rocking slightly. "They said I had to try it. They wouldn't let me say no. I tried, but…they were all bigger than me."
"Epstein, everyone's bigger than you."
"Ha, ha. But…I…"
"What?" Gabe gently prodded.
Epstein's lower lip trembled. Kotter thought he was going to break down, and he mentally braced himself for the possibility of a crying Epstein, but Juan controlled himself and continued.
"I couldn't do it myself. You know…use the needle. And I thought maybe I'd get off, but they said they'd do it for me. I tried to get out of it, you know, said I didn't like needles, said I'd pass out, but they just laughed at me."
"So they injected you?"
Epstein nodded, unable to speak for a moment. He wiped his face. "Mr. Kotter, I never felt anything like it. The very first time…it was…I couldn't believe how good it was. And I wanted more. I wanted to feel it again. It was the best thing I've ever felt—even better than se—uh, I mean sundaes." He blushed under Gabe's smile, then reddened more when he realized that Julie had overheard his slip.
"No secrets tonight," Kotter grinned, patting Juan on the shoulder. "But don't worry. I'm not going to drill you about your…sundae consumption. At least not tonight." He allowed Epstein to drown in embarrassment a moment longer, then moved back to the main issue.
"So what about the stealing, Juan? Were you forced into that too?"
Epstein shrugged miserably. "At first. But later I really needed money. They made me give them money before they'd give me the stuff. I—I had to have it. And I had to get money. I think they got me hooked so I'd help them with breaking in. It happened so fast…all of a sudden all I could think about was getting another fix. And then when I got back home I was in real trouble. I had to find a way to get money…I didn't want to, but I didn't know what else to do." He wiped his face. "I still don't know what to do," he murmured.
"I'd say you've started on the right track." Gabe paused as Epstein fought through particularly fierce cramps. "Pretty bad, huh?"
Juan nodded. "Getting worse. I'm—oh, man!" He scrambled to his feet and rushed for the bathroom, and the Kotters were blessed with the unmistakable sound of vomiting.
Gabe caught Julie's eye. "Here we go," he said with a grim smile.