"Luke, it's time." One sentence, one sentence, and then a look at Peyton, her face contorted in pain, and though he was sure that she didn't want him to see it, fear, and Lucas world had crashed down upon him. He didn't want this. He didn't want this baby anymore. He didn't want everything he did with Peyton for the next few hours to potentially be his last. He didn't want to say goodbye.
"Are you sure?" He asked quietly, and Peyton only nodded. They'd both known this day was coming, soon. Everything was taken care of, Lucas and Peyton had been married the week before, the nursery was done, Larry was in town, Peyton's will was drawn up, and signed. The bags were packed. She was ready to go, Lucas just wasn't ready to let her leave him.
"I'm positive." It should have been rude, it should have been mean, god knows she was in enough for pain for it to be both, but Peyton couldn't make her tone anything other than soft, and breakable. "Are you sure you don't want me to call Nathan, and Brooke, and Haley?"
That had been a mutual decision, though it had been Lucas that suggested that only he and Larry be there. He'd said it was because of Jamie being so young, and Brooke's new little baby, Harper, being just a baby, but they both knew it was because if these were Peyton's last hours, Lucas wasn't planning on sharing her with anyone other than Larry.
"Yeah, babe." He was silent for a second, as he focused his eyes on Peyton, on the way she was standing in their kitchen, in so much pain. It was killing him that not only could he not save her from this, but he had had a hand in doing this to her. "Let's go."
Peyton moved slowly from the kitchen table to the coat closet where her bag was stashed, and then to the door, as she took in everything about the house. It seemed darker than it usually did, almost as if it was saying goodbye to her. She let a tear roll down her face as she walked out the door, Lucas' hand clasped in hers, knowing that she might never be back.
The car ride to the hospital was quite, which was odd, considering Peyton and Lucas had both done their best to keep any silence from overtaking them, for the past week. But it was just too much to do now, as Lucas drove the Comet, Peyton had insisted, to the hospital, one hand clenched around the steering wheel, and there around Peyton's hand, so tight that Peyton wondered if he thought that he could keep her here by sheer force. Like if he didn't let go, he couldn't lose her. She only closed her hand tighter around his.
The nurses all knew who she was, and where the room was, and they had been instructed to send her right up, the admittance papers were already signed, and just had to be dated by someone. Peyton and Lucas already knew where there room was, and not a word was said as they walked down the hallway, Lucas arms now wrapped around Peyton's shoulder, holding her as tightly as he could.
He watched as she changed into the hospital gown, he'd seen it all before, and, honestly, she wasn't going to ask him to leave. Not now. Now was no time to be embarrassed, as almost as soon as she was changed, and seated in the bed, Lucas had to resist the urge to break down then and there. She looked so broken, sitting in that bed, one hand on her swollen stomach, the other clenching the side of the bed, the rest of her, preparing to say goodbye.
"Luke." She gasped out, as another contraction hit, and he was at her side in an instant. Both of them wished that that was the most pain they'd be feeling today.
Seconds after the pain had dissipated, a young doctor walked into the room, dressed in pale blue scrubs, and a scrub cap that had never been so foreboding to Lucas.
He didn't bother with the pleasantries. It had been eight months since he broken their world, and right now, he knew the last thing this couple wanted him asking was how their day was going. "We're ready for her now." He said instead, and he watched as both Lucas and Peyton froze. "I'll leave you two alone, just go get a nurse when you're ready."
Lucas knew as soon as the doctor had said it, that, if ready was what they were waiting for, he'd never leave the room. Done was what he should have said. When you're done saying goodbye. He nodded stiffly, and then watched as the doctor walked out of the room, pity washing through all of his features.
"I love you, so much, Peyton Scott." He crawled into the bed with her, pulling her tightly into his arms.
"Luke, don't." She tried to pull away, but Luke only held her more tightly to him. "I'm going to be fine." She said it with such conviction that Lucas almost believed her. And then he looked at her face, and the fear etched over it, and he lost any faith he had. She didn't even believe that. Not anymore. "In three hours, I am going to wake up, and you're going to be right next to me, with our baby girl in your arms."
"I know." He didn't sound like he knew anything at all anymore. He sounded lost, and scared. "But I just want you to know that I love you." He gently places a finger on her lips when she tried to object again. "I have been I love with you since we were eleven years old, when the only thing I knew about you was that you had the prettiest legs I'd ever seen. And I have made a lot of mistakes since then, and the biggest one's were always letting you go. And it's killing me that we could be happy right now, if it wasn't for my stupid pride. Because I love you, and I could have had so much more time with you." He would not let himself cry. He had swore that to himself months before, but now, with the idea of losing Peyton so close to being a reality, he wasn't sure how far he was going to get. "It's always been you, and it's always going to be you, and I just wanted to let you know that no matter what, I love you, and I love this baby too." He felt her relax, just a little, after he finished, and he knew he'd eased at least a few of her worries. He knew that she was terrified that if she did die, their baby would be left with a father who resented it. He knew that she needed to know that he would always love this baby, if not just because it was half Peyton. "I love you so much, Peyton Sawyer."
She didn't have anything to say. Lucas was her entire world. She couldn't say goodbye to her entire world. "I love you too, Lucas." She said instead her voice so thick with emotion that she hoped that it would convey everything else she was feeling. "So much."
She felt his lips gently press to hers, and just stay there, unmoving for a second, before Lucas deepened the kiss, his tears mixing with hers, until they finally broke apart, and he brushed his hand through her hair one last time. And then he gently, softly reached up, his hand just resting on the button to page the nurse, not pressing down until Peyton's hand made its way on top of his, and pressed down for him.
Seconds later, a nurse walked into the room, and both Lucas and Peyton could see the tears in her eyes, too. The entire hospital seemed to know about them. Lucas got out of the bed slowly, never letting go of Peyton's hand. No one asked him too.
They ran into Larry, as Peyton's bed was wheeled through the hallway, but he hadn't been able to get out more than an "I love you," to his daughter. And then they were at the doors. He kissed her one last time, trying desperately to memorize everything about her, in the moment, before he felt her sigh against his lips, and he knew it was time.
"I love you, Blondie."
She didn't say anything back, instead, she pushed an envelope into his hands, and nodded to the nurse. It broke his heart, as he heard her sobs echoing through the hallway.
He retreated back to her room, with Larry following him. They should have been in the waiting room, but the chief of surgery had been briefed on the case, and since Peyton wouldn't be allowed back in here until after she was out of ICU, if she made it that far, anyways, they'd been told it was fine for them to wait there.
Larry turned on a basketball game as soon as they were back. It was a Duke/UNC game, and normally, Lucas would have been transfixed, watching his two favorite teams play his favorite game. But instead, he found himself sliding open the envelope that Peyton had handed him. It was an orange manila envelope, with his name written in her perfect handwriting. He gently pulled it open, and then slid out what was inside. He couldn't help but smile. If it had have been him, dying, he would have left a twenty page letter with Peyton. She left him a drawing. The paper was quartered, and then, the top half was made into ten separate boxes. In each of the smaller squares, was a small sketch of a moment that had some meaning to Lucas and Peyton. There was the time he almost ran her over, the time they almost slept together in Nathan's guest room, the school shooting, the state championship, their first "I love you," Honey grove, his proposal, Lucas and Lindsey's wedding, Vegas, and their wedding. Every pivotal moment in their relationship, drawn onto a piece of paper. It was the bottom half of the paper that brought him to tears. On the left half of the paper, was a picture of Peyton, with a baby girl in her arms, sitting outside. Lucas was sitting right next to her, both of his girls wrapped in his arms. In the background, there were two other, loosely sketched kids, playing together. The next square over though, was just of Lucas and the baby. Both were smiling, though Lucas was quiet sure how. It looked as though Lucas was teaching her how to walk, his hands gripping the little hands of his daughter as she toddled around, a smile on her face as well. Lucas didn't quite get it, until he saw the stone in the corner of the page. Peyton Sawyer Scott. 1989-2012. Beloved Wife and Mother. Scrawled in the corner of that picture, in Peyton's handwriting, was "I will always be watching over you. Love, Peyt (Mommy)"
He sat staring at that for the next few hours, his eyes memorizing every line, every stroke, every picture, constantly wiping his tears before they fell, and would ruin the drawing. That's what he was doing when the doctor stepped into the room four hours later. He looked tired, and scared, but when his eyes locked with Lucas', hope flickered, just a bit.
"Could you follow me, Mr. Scott?" Lucas got up and nodded, not saying anything. In a few seconds, his life as he knew it would be over, and judging from the look in the doctor's eyes, his heart was going to be breaking, too. "It was a hard surgery." He started, leading Lucas down a hallway, towards the elevators. "But your daughter is fine. Eight pounds, nine ounces. She born at eleven fifteen. You decided on Avery Elisabeth, right?"
Lucas didn't nod, he didn't cry, he simply stopped walking, as he realized they were now in the maternity wing. Peyton's room was on the neo-natal surgery wing. They were going towards the nursery.
"What about my wife?" He finally asked, tears threatening to overtake him, fear and worry threatening to crush him.
The doctor turned stopped walking, and then pushed the door he was standing right in front of open, before turning to face Lucas. "Why don't you ask her?"
He gestured into the room, and felt his heart stop, before he turned his head into the room. It was a maternity room, it was pink, and flowery, and everything Peyton hated. But in the middle of the room, on an uncomfortable looking bed, was his daughter, wrapped in her mother's arms.
Peyton looked up softly, smiling at her husband. "I told you everything was going to be okay, Luke."
He was in the room in a second, pulling her softly into his arms, careful of both her, and the little baby in her arms. "I couldn't have lived in a world with you."
"Likewise, baby. I love you."
A/N: So that's it. What did you think? How many people thought Peyton was going to die? I did. The original ending of this was the graveyard picture, but I just couldn't do that. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and read! Leave a review to tell me how you think it turned out!