Chapter 4

They summon her to the conference room. Daniel comes to pick her up at her quarters early in the morning, before she's due for her shift. Jack's surmised it would be a good thing for her to have a friendly face with her when she's told.

"How have you been doing, Louise?" he asks her, giving her a loose hug. She's always amazed at how fast he's made her feel at ease. She used to shy away from physical contact but with him, it's different. She hasn't had a friend like him in years. Come to think about it – she's never had a friend like him – someone she can trust instinctively.

"I'm alright, Daniel. Except for that all secrecy thing regarding the expedition and this base here," she pouts.

"Haven't let you roam around freely yet, I gather?" he replies, pouting too.

She shakes her head. "Nope. I'm only allowed to go from my quarters to the kitchen and back. With an occasional stop at the library and infirmary, of course," she winces.

He knows she's had to undergo more tests with Dr Lam. She hates being prodded with needles and feeling like she's sick, she told him. And she's scared of going to the shrink's, which she has been told is a must if she wants to tick all the requirements on the list to get the position. "Well, I'm being told this is about to change," he says with a broad smile.

She beams at him. "Well, that's good news, Daniel! You're my guardian angel," she adds, rubbing his arm affectionately.

"That, lady," he tells her, "is gonna earn you my undying loyalty and unconditional friendship," he tells her with a fond smile. "Come on," he says, holding his hand out for her to take, "I'm taking you to the conference room. You're gonna love what we're gonna tell you," he says, his eyes twinkling.

"Louise? Have you heard us?" he asks worriedly. They've just told her everything – where they're going, what they intend to do, what to expect, and most of all, what they don't know.

She looks up, looking stunned, and shakes her head. "Yes, yes, I heard you." She turns to Landry. "Can I see the stargate, Sir?" she asks excitedly.

Landry chuckles and turns to Sumner. "And you thought she would turn tail and run! You owe me fifty bucks, Colonel," he tells the other man. Sumner scoffs. Landry nods at Louise. "Yes, you may." She stands from her chair and he motions for her to sit. "But before you do, I need you to understand something. Your file has been approved. General O'Neill has been informed. You're good to go. The question is, young lady, are you?" he asks with raised eyebrows.

She bites her bottom lip. "I'm not a young lady anymore, General," she counters cheekily.

"For me, you are," he counters back.

She shrugs. "First time in years I'm called that. It's refreshing!" she says self-deprecatingly. "Anyway, yes, I'm good to go. Told ya'. I'm not going back where I came from if I can help it. Besides, wow. I mean. Atlantis? The Lost City? If this is real, I wanna go," she says resolutely.

"Didn't you hear the man?" Colonel Sumner grunts. "It might be a suicide mission, for all we know. And there's probably no turning back. If we survive this," he adds, pointing his finger impatiently at the file in front of him, "we will have to fend for ourselves. And you, lady, will have to make sure we don't starve out there."

She flinches at the violence of his tone. He's not changed his mind about her, still seeing her as a liability rather than an asset. She scowls. "I heard the man alright, Colonel. I'm not stupid. And I'm resilient and resourceful. I might be a petite but I'm not useless. I want in. You won't regret it, Sir," she says, turning to Landry.

The latter grins and nods. He turns to Jackson who's been observing her the whole time, not saying a word. Daniel grins too. Landry stands. "Well then, lady, you've earned a tour of the base," he tells her. "Follow me. I'll do the honors."

She is asked to attend several meetings after that – with Dr Weir and General O'Neill mainly. She's told about her responsibilities and asked to make a list with Major Lawrence of what she'll need to carry through the gate. "You have to understand the gate only remains open for thirty-eight minutes and we need to carry as much equipment as possible during that time. We won't get a second chance at dialing it. Everything needs to be ready and packed as efficiently as possible," O'Neill tells her.

"So, no fancy food and no useless stuff like liquorice candy and Fruit Loop cereals, right?" she baits him.

He snorts. "Ms Léger," he points out, trying to look stern, "you're getting way too cheeky for your own good."

She presses her lips together and lowers her head but he sees the corners of her lips turn up just a tad. He thanks Daniel inwardly for making her open up. She's indeed the best candidate on the shorter list they had and he's glad he won't have to tell Dr McKay she's not been chosen.

He calls her back after the meeting as she's making her way to the door hastily. "Got a minute, Ms Léger?" he asks her with raised eyebrows.

She pouts and turns round, folding her hands behind her back. She's soon gotten the hang of standing respectfully in front of superiors. "At ease, soldier," he chuckles. "I just wanted to ask you if you'd care to join Daniel and I for a night at O'Malley's before you leave."

She beams at him. "Yes, Sir. Thank you. I'd like that."

He nods. "It will be good to have a little party before you leave us," he points out and sees her blanch. He walks to her. "You OK?"

She shakes her head and looks away. "Yes, Sir, I am. Don't worry. If you don't mind, Sir," she adds with a forced smile, "I'd like to return to the kitchen. Major Lawrence needs me for the midday service."

He nods and lets her go, wondering what went through her mind just then. She walks briskly through the corridors and only lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding when she reaches the comfort of being alone for a few seconds in the elevator.

It's just hit her like a ton of bricks. She was so excited about the whole project she's overlooked one tiny detail. The place and people she's finally comfortable with are soon gonna be history. She hasn't had to connect with any other member of the expedition because she was so damn busy finishing her training and truth be told, they're probably too with their preparations. By the time she reaches Atlantis, they'll all have made friends but all she has is a staff – hardly the type of people you hang out with, should you wish to be respected. She'll be on her own.

She remembers sitting on Twin Peaks and watching the Golden Gate Bridge that day – when she'd made a little detour to San Francisco before heading for Cheyenne Mountain. She'd told General O'Neill and Dr McKay she needed to think about their offer, which had boggled McKay's mind.

She had a lousy job, in a lousy diner, but at least what she saw was what she got. Those people didn't care about who she was as long as she got the job done and they let her live the semblance of a life she now had. No questions, no strings attached. That's what she'd decided she needed from now on. Being at the SGC has undermined her certainties. And now, she's back to square one.

TBC