After finally getting Spence to stay in his own bed and lay down for sleep Doris came into her bedroom not at all surprised to see her wife still on the phone talking and laughing. Blake had finally taken the call as they drove home but Doris knew that her phone had been silently vibrating most of the day they were at the farm. Blake was a very important business woman and a commanded a lot of respect and a healthy following in the literary and publishing world. There were a million reasons why her wife spent hours attached to her phone Doris kept telling herself but each time the phone buzzed and each time Blake flicked her hair as she laughed Doris could only feel very seriously ill. The newest author at Blake's publishing house was a former Senator and a current Ambassador to China. He had finally agreed to write his memoirs after hundreds if not thousands of agents had tried to entice him only after Blake had personally met with him twice in New York and in Paris. The final contract was still in the works but Blake had single handedly landed the hottest property of the political world. Doris should have been proud and she was but the more she saw her wife in action at business dinners and corporate meetings the less and less sure she was that she had what it took to keep a woman as vibrant and exciting as Blake Mahler.
Blake had been married to a couple of Spauldings and a United States Senator. What the hell would she see in a has been mayor of a podunk town and a not even one term retired State's Attorney 's General. Doris taught beginning law to at a second rate college. She and Blake weren't even in the same universe much less the same orbit. At one time she could see the logic in Blake deciding to choose her instead of all the other suitors that flocked to her but now? Now when she walked into a room more than likely no one even knew who the hell she was they only vaguely thought she looked kinda familiar. Blake was unlike any woman Doris had ever met. She was positively magnetic when she was working the room. Many days Doris had looked across the room at political rallies when she was on her A game and was struck dumb at her luck in landing Blake Mahler when she knew almost every person in the room was salivating over the redhead. Now she looked across the room and she knew that those watching were just patiently bidding their time until they could be the one Blake held onto.
The lingering fear had always been with her even when she was at her highest but she kept it at bay with more rallies and greater aspirations but now that politics was officially closed to her if she didn't want to have to defend her history of medication dependence she just faced each day with the growing fear that it might be the last. Not that Blake had done anything in particular to signal her discontent. Actually Blake had done nothing to make her even the slightest hesitant but in the past month since her business relationship with Ambassador Richard Kenny Doris was feeling more and more expendable. He was everything that she was not. He was refined, wealthy, world famous, successful and powerful to boot. Hell he was a man and that was looking more and more like it might be a big improvement. For whatever reason either schedule conflicts or lack of interest Blake and Doris had not made love in over two weeks. The only time that they were less intimate was when Doris was spending most of her days on a jet. Scared to speak up lest Blake put an end to all her hopes and dreams Doris just quietly held on wondering what would be worst Blake staying out of obligation or Blake walking out the door. To be honest she knew in her heart it would never be a choice. Doris would take Blake anyway she could have her even if it meant this shadow of what they once shared but Blake would never stay anywhere she wasn't truly happy. That at least gave her some solace Blake was still in love enough to stay because when she decided she was no longer satisfied with the wreck that was her wife she would leave and Doris' world would shatter in a million bits.
"Yeah well thank you Rich I'll see if I can get James to look up that company. I'm sure I could use them if you have such high praise for them. No it's fine.. I'll talk to you tomorrow? Okay. Goodnight. Oh my God I thought he would never get off the phone" Blake sighed as she moved to finally get ready to join her wife in bed. "I'm sorry I was on the phone with him so long. I know how hard it is for you to get to sleep with me talking and having the lights on" Blake added as she moved around the room undressing.
"It's fine I know that he's an important client for you. You have to get up earlier than I do since you're taking Spence to the doctor's" Doris answered watching her wife undress. "I can take him if you want I don't have a class in the morning"
Looking at her wife through the mirror while she removed her contacts "No that's okay babe I promised Spence we would go to Company and he could get a blueberry muffin. You have your meeting with the dean in the morning right?" she asked turning back towards Doris. "They are probably going to offer you a fulltime position" Blake offered as she returned to the mirror.
It would be great if she was offered a contract but Doris didn't kid herself that even if she was offered tenure it wouldn't compare to Blake's success. "Did I hear you tell your client that you were going to be seeing him in New York soon?"
"Yes I was asked to speak at a country club's literary circle. I should only be there for a few days but hopefully it will give me the time to charm him into finally signing the dotted line" Blake grinned as she walked towards the bed and turned off the lights. Pausing because of sad expression that came to Doris' face Blake took her wife's hands in her own and kissed them. "What's wrong sweetheart?"
"Nothing I guess I just don't want to think about missing you for so long"
Laughing "Baby I will be gone at most three days. I think you can stand to be away from me for that long. Three days are nothing we used to do a month at a time remember?"
Suddenly glad for the darkness Doris began to feel slightly sick. At one time she had been a fool and had kept Blake patiently waiting on her return but now maybe it was payback Doris reasoned "I don't like to be without you at all. It doesn't matter how many days"
"Aww. That's so sweet. No wonder I love you so much" Blake whispered as she folded herself into her wife's waiting arms. Feeling Doris' lips moving across her shoulders and down her neck Blake took a deep breath and slightly pushed her wife away. "Baby I know we haven't made love in a while"
"Oh no its fine. I"
"No it's not fine. I'm sorry I haven't given you what you need but right now if we did anything it wouldn't be very good for either of us. Can you please understand just for a little while longer."
"No its fine. I'm fine I'm pretty sleepy myself." Doris choked out as her throat threatened to close from holding back tears. "Night" she sighed as she turned over and felt Blake arms wrap around her as a soft kiss was placed on her shoulder.
"I'm just really tired lately with all the running around for this project and everything else at work but I promise as soon as things settle I will make this up to you. I promise." Turing over Blake fell asleep before she heard her wife softly crying into the night.
Blake hadn't lied to her wife when she'd told her she was tired. If anything it was an understatement she was exhausted. For the past year and a half she had single handedly ran her publishing house along with personally cultivating relationships with authors. It was hard and tiring work but after such a long time going nonstop it was finally catching up to her. Putting one foot in front of the other was becoming a struggle by the middle of the day. At first Blake thought it was something to do with her diet or her lack of exercise or not enough fiber anything and everything at all but a month ago when she had to ask her assistant to help her to the car she got truly scared. What the hell would she do if she had some terrible disease? There was no way she could bare the thought of leaving the babies and her wife not to mention her daughter so soon. Or worse putting them through the hell of watching her slowly die.
Finally going to the doctor and taking a battery of tests she only had to sit back and wait for the results. The only thing that kept her going through the day was putting as many things in front of her that she didn't have time to think of anything else. However at home when Clarissa and Doris were quietly sitting at the dinner eating her mind filled with horrible disasters. She could force herself through that but there was no way she would be able to relax enough to make love. She be would constantly trying to pretend nothing was wrong and eventually Doris would call her on it. There wasn't any news yet so why stress out her family if she didn't have to. Maybe she should make love to Doris now she was still well enough to enjoy it? One more day. One more day and I will know what's wrong with me Blake said to herself as her wife's cries went unnoticed.
Clarissa lay in bed mentally preparing herself for her hour long first period class. Usually she loved school and never had a problem facing the next day but every since the new semester started it had been a living hell just to get out of bed in the morning. She didn't understand it. She was popular and loved by everyone teachers, students, even the freaking cafeteria staff loved her, everyone except Ms Masterly. The woman seemed to love to put her on the spot and took a perverse pleasure in seeing her flush in embarrassment. It hadn't always been the case because last year when Clarissa took her Debate class it had been her favorite subject. The woman was more like a friend than a teacher and they shared many hours preparing Clarissa for upcoming faceoffs.
That had all changed the moment the older woman saw her and Emma standing close to each other at their lockers. It was like a cloud descended between them and Clarissa could sense there was a disconnect but she never knew why until a late night at the movies a few weeks later. Emma and Clarissa were cuddled together in the back row of a filled movie theater in a world of their own completely ignoring everything and everyone around them. As they walked out arm and arm into the lobby they heard a loud "SLUTS" yelled out. Everyone stopped looked around and started laughing and Clarissa never knew that those hurtful words had been directed towards her and Emma until the next day at school. Emma had loved the Debate class so much she had waited two years just to take the Speech class that Ms Masterly taught. The mental and emotional abuse started the second she walked into the room. It was a four month class and it was nearing its third but Clarissa didn't know how much more she could take. The only thing that saved her was the fact that she was an excellent student and felt more than comfortable standing in front of the class speaking. Ms Masterly couldn't fail her but she could make each first period of her day more brutal than the last. But Clarissa was determined to out last the hateful woman and refused to give the satisfaction of making her cry in class. However Clarissa spent many long minutes huddled in the restroom praying for the end of the day.
It would be so easy to let Emma vent her frustration for her. Not only would it make her girlfriend's day but finally Ms Masterly would be as embarrassed and humiliated as she made Clarissa feel. The first time that Emma saw her crying in the bathroom stall demanding to know what was wrong it had almost destroyed their relationship.
"What's wrong Rissa? What's making you cry?" Emma begged holding the girl close.
Pulling away Clarissa wiped her face and moved to walk out of the door "Nothing. Nothing I'm fine. I'm just tired that's all"
"The hell it's nothing. Nothing wouldn't make you come in the bathroom and cry your eyes out. Now what the fuck's going on?" Emma said pulling the other girl back and moving to block the doorway.
"I'm going to be late and so are you so let me go. Let me go damn it!"
"Settle down and tell me what's going on because that's the only way we are leaving this room. I mean it Clarissa I can stay in this bathroom all day if I have to" Emma said standing firmly in front of the door. Emma was five feet eleven and half inches and didn't weigh more than one hundred and fifty pounds. She looked like a frail waif but Clarissa and the basketball team knew personally that she wasn't a lightweight. The girl not only had athletic skill but she also had an iron will and if she said she wasn't moving until Clarissa told her everything she knew they weren't budging. Clarissa would be lucky if she ever got to five foot two and broke hundred pound mark. It took almost five minutes and a handful of banging fists on the door for Clarissa a break down and once Emma moved to comfort her she slid right past the girl and into her next class.
As soon as the bell rang Clarissa knew without looking that Emma would be standing beside the door waiting for her to leave. She wondered briefly if she could stay in the room and ignore the bell but she knew Emma would wait right there until school was dismissed if she had to. Gathering some friend around her Clarissa tried her best to ignore her girlfriend's stare and wasn't that surprised when Emma reached through the throng of cheerleaders and pulled Clarissa towards the front doors. A few of the girls stopped and asked their cheer captain if she needed any help hoping that she said no because they had all seen an angry Emma in action. Shaking her head she just stayed silent as Emma walked them out the doors past the football field and under the bleachers. "Just because you don't care about skipping a few classes I shouldn't either?" Clarissa hissed as she yanked her arm out of Emma's grasp. Watching to girl Emma stayed silent and bent down to sit on the moist grass and waited for Clarissa to start talking. They both knew that they wouldn't be leaving the area until Emma had some answers. She wasn't physically holding the girl but Emma knew that Clarissa wasn't going to get away from her. The sixteen year old would never physically harm her girlfriend and would kill anyone who ever did but she wasn't above using her strength and speed to her advantage. "Emma I don't have time for this. Did you even go to your last class or did you spend the entire time stalking me? Emma? Damnit!"
"Tell me what happened and who made you cry" Not getting an answer and watching Clarissa as she turned away from her Emma asked again "So I guess this means you either don't trust me or you don't want me any more" It was a low blow but she had learned in ball to do whatever it took to get the points. Once she saw Clarissa's shocked expression she continued in a lower and calmer tone. "Please talk to me Rissa I only want to help you I promise" Bending down and kissing Emma's head Clarissa opened up about the constant stress she had been under for past week. "I swear to God I'm going to kill that bitch"
"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I don't want to have to worry about what she's going to say to me and also worry about what you're going to do to her."
"Fine then we are going to tell our parents"
"NO! Jesus I don't want this to be an international incident. Its stressful enough as it is"
"Rissa she has no right to say those things to you. We have to do something"
"No I can handle this and you have to promise me you will stay out of it and that you won't tell our parents"
"Rissa" Emma whined
"Em please I can deal. Promise me please" In the end the girl promised even though she hated to do it only because she could deny her lover nothing but only under the provision that Clarissa would tell Emma if the harassment got any worse. Now many weeks later Clarissa sat in bed dreading the coming day. She could do it she kept telling herself. It was just sixty minutes out of her day it really wasn't that bad.