A/N: Since this story is T, I'm not going to even try straying into M scenes. It's just going to be pointless fluff in the form of a making out session – and yes, there is some Angst in the mix there but that is basically what Jane and Lisbon's relationship is, not only in this story but in the show as well.

So we're straying into the Angsty area for a bit now, I'm sorry if that's not your cup of tea! But I teared up at the end of this chapter while writing it, so I hope you kind of appreciate all the work I've put in it ^^

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

'Over again'

Chapter Four

Was he ready for this? He didn't know. Was he going to go through with it? Probably. After all, this was what he had wanted for a very long time.

But yet, he couldn't do this. Not the real job, that is. Not when he and Lisbon were still fighting in his world. He couldn't do it with this Lisbon. He just couldn't. He loved her too much to have their first time – for him the first, that was, since this Lisbon... yeah, they had done it several times here – to be as some sort of make up sex.

And beside that, this wasn't his Lisbon. Sure, this was Lisbon alright, but not the Lisbon he had worked with for years.

For some strange reason, she seemed to understand him even though he hadn't uttered a word about his current feelings, and pulled away slightly to look at him.

"I love you, Patrick," she whispered, and she lifted her hand to show her wedding ring, "for better or worse. Just know that I'll support you, with this as well if you need it."

Jane just looked at this perfect woman laying in his arms. He'd basically told her that all of this wasn't true, that he wasn't married to her and he didn't have so many children with her, and still, she wasn't angry, or sad or disappointed. She was supportive, like she'd always been.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. He pulled her head against his chest, keeping her there with one hand while the other went to brush her belly – for the first time.

He wanted to do that more often, just lay down with her, kiss her as often as possible and have her belly be as rounded as it was now. He didn't know he wanted that two days ago, but he knew now. His feelings became much more clearer like this.

"God, how much I love you."

She scooted on the bed, reaching his eye-level, and smiled faintly.

Then, she averted her eyes briefly, only to look back at him.

"What am I like in this... other world?"

"It's not so much another world per-"

"Patrick."

He sighed, but didn't hesitate in telling her. "You're an amazing woman. You're the most perfect team leader, you're great with children and you're the only person that can control me."

He could see in her eyes that she realized that she was that person in this world as well.

"Teresa, you're not any different. You're the only steady factor in my life, and you'll always be that. The woman I love, the woman I've loved since the beginning. Yes, you haven't showed me what kind of life we could have together in 'that other world', but you're perfect either way. It's my fault that we're not married in that world. I was a cold jerk, I still am. But I'm trying."

She breathed in his scent and moved closer.

"Teresa," he said, gently, and she looked up at him again. "I'm here to be punished. Don't take this wrong, you're perfect and I love you. But I'm here to be shown what an imbecile I am, in ignoring my feelings towards you. They have always been there but I was afraid. Afraid of hurting myself, but most of all, afraid of hurting you. If I had something, someone to love, I had someone to lose as well. And after losing Angela and Charlotte, that was the last thing I wanted to happen. But it was stupid, I can't live like an island the rest of my miserable life. And actually seeing what kind of fulfillment I could have had if I had realized this all at the beginning is enough torture."

"What about-"

"The kids? I'll love them with all I have, Teresa, for as long as I'm here. After all, you are all I have in this world. And it's enough. More than enough."

He linked their lips again in that moment, telling her all the words he couldn't find.

And maybe it was stupid, and maybe it was completely, utterly dangerous, but he maybe he was going to take out that red velvet box he kept under his make-shift bed in the attic once he was back in his world.

She was the one to pull away, gasping for air. He smiled sweetly.

"I thought you would be used to this," he whispered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"We don't do this as often as we used to do."

"Then that's my biggest mistake I've ever made," he said, and she swallowed. He didn't give her time to react further and linked their lips again.

She didn't waste time and rolled onto her back, pulling his body on top of hers. She chuckled when she groaned. He didn't hate this position, not at all, but her belly pressed into his abdomen, making him feel butterflies in his stomach and he was feeling light-headed.

He loved her. And though that used to be a scary thought, it wasn't anymore now. He had been stupid, telling himself that he could live like an island for the rest of his life. Angela wouldn't want that anyway. He knew she would want him to be happy.

And he was happy now. With his beautiful lady underneath him, accepting his kisses, perhaps even more than accepting. Ruthlessly devouring him in return.

He loved her. And there was nothing he could do about it anymore. She had wrapped him around her little finger without even realizing it.

~OverAgain~

After a make-out session of over an hour, leaving Jane breathless, both literally and metaphorically, they had heard Minelli returning and had quickly made themselves presentable.

The man hadn't even looked surprised when he'd seen both their flushed expressions, just smiled softly and ushered the children inside.

"I'm sorry it had to go this way, Virgil," Lisbon apologized, but he shook his head.
"No, it's fine. I'm not married to either one of you so I don't have the right to claim that much time while you have all these unresolved problems. I do hope it's solved now."

Lisbon looked at Jane briefly, who smiled at her, and she turned back to look at Minelli.

"It is."

"That's all I need to know." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, before saying his goodbyes to the children and leaving.

Allen and Veronica immediately jumped against Lisbon, telling her what they'd done while outside, and one look at Lisbon's expression told Jane that she was exhausted – being pregnant and fighting/kissing with him finally took its toll on her body.

He let the kids finish their sentence, and then interrupted.

"So-o-o," he drawled, "Grandpa Virgil already took you out so I don't have to do that anymore-"

"Were you going to go to the playground with us, Daddy?" Veronica asked, her voice rather calm but her eyes weren't lying – she was exploding out of glee on the inside.

"While in fact I was, yes. But, seeing as you're all too tired to do anything-"

"No! We can go outside!"

The trio put on their coats already and Jane smiled at Lisbon – and he could read in her eyes that she knew what he was doing. She rewarded him with a smile.

Jane looked at Dale who was clutching at his mother's leg, and he sighed a bit before lowering to the boy's eye-level.

"You coming with, buddy?"

He shook his head, and Jane nodded.

"Okay. That's actually even better because now you can watch Mommy for me."

Dale smiled despite his thumb in its usual place, and that made Jane smile as well.

He placed a brief kiss on the boy's forehead and then ruffled his hair.

He looked at Lisbon again, and she was already moving to pick up Dale and probably put him in bed.

"Love you, Reese," Jane whispered, and she swallowed, then smiled.

Then, he followed the over-excited trio outside – well, more like they pulled him outside without giving him more time with Lisbon or Dale.

He noticed, much to his dismay but also maybe pleasure, that Veronica was so attached to her little sister that she had actually put the girl in the stroller, complete with coat, while Jane had talked to Dale.

He rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure Mommy would like this, Veronica?"

"No, she won't. But I will. It's not like Em can walk on her own so Mommy must know she's with us."

Jane smiled, and came to stand behind the girl, helping her pushing the stroller forth. She stepped on the little rest on the bottom of the stroller where bags were supposed to be put, but this way, she wasn't walking anymore.

"Em doesn't get out enough," Veronica said, probably not talking to anybody in particular but just rambling. And Jane wasn't about to stop her, it was too adorable. "She doesn't get to go to the playground with us because you don't want that. It's 'too dangerous' for her, of course not, we're here too. I won't let anything happen to Em," she said and jumped off the rest and ran to the front of the stroller, reached out to Emma and brushed her little cheeks. The girl immediately started to chuckle and Veronica clapped in her hands, satisfied she had that effect on her baby sister.

Within over ten minutes, they'd reached the little playground he hadn't known the existence of.

The twin had ran off immediately. They had been behaving really well, walking beside the stroller each at one side and responding to his questions but not misbehaving like he'd expected them to do. Seems like he had a wrong image of these children.

Veronica made sure Emma was safe with Jane before running to the swings where another girl around her age was located – they'd probably played before because they instantly started playing, pretending they could fly.

He looked at all his playing children for a few moments, before focusing on the baby in the stroller. She was looking at the sky, and as he looked up too, he saw a few birds flying there.

He smiled.

"These are pretty birds, aren't they, Emma?"

The girl's attention was pulled away from the animals and she looked at his face, a smile sprawling across her face immediately as she recognized his face. She reached up to touch him, but couldn't reach him because of the tray that was keeping her in the stroller.

He put the stroller beside a bench, and he sat down. He reached out his hands to her too and she immediately started chuckling as he lifted her out of the stroller and onto his lap, her back against his stomach.

She turned her head to look at him a bit, not losing her smile, before she decided she trusted Jane enough and turned to look at the playground.

She lifted her little hands again and pointed at her playing siblings.

"Yes, that's Perry. And Allen. Are you able to keep them apart already? I am. That's a good thing, right? I'm improving. I'm making progress."

Emma didn't pay attention to what he was saying, just looked at everything that was in front of her, sometimes making a little dance by rolling her weight from one side of his lap to the other. He was glad he could talk to somebody that wouldn't remember it afterwards.

Then, all of a sudden, Emma lost interest in the playground and squirmed in his lap. He frowned and turned her around, and that seemed to be exactly what she wanted. She put her little feet on his upper legs and he helped her stand up straight. She chuckled and giggled, then fell forward against his chest. He supported her and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, he felt tears starting to form in his eyes.

He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this beautiful child, all these beautiful children, from such a beautiful woman, and that was exactly why he didn't have all of this in his world.

Emma pulled away slightly to look at him, and started touching his face, tracing his lips, his nose, almost poking in his eyes and chuckling when he made a tiny sound of pain.

"Oh, I love you, Emma," he whispered, and she smiled, as if knowing what the words meant. She tapped with her feet a bit before wrapping her arms around his neck again. They remained like that for a few minutes before he felt the tears he had been trying to hold back spilled.

Emma startled, her happy mood gone as she saw him crying, and she decided that joining him was for the best.

"I've been so stupid, Emma. So, so stupid. There have been so many signs, far too many, and..." he said between sobs, and he paused for a few moments, taking in deep, shuddering breaths. "And I just ignored them. If I had just listened to everybody and had looked at my feelings... then... then I would be able to... to... to..." he felt tears streaming down his cheeks again, and Emma's crying had been lowered to quiet sobbing. He didn't know if he should continue that sentence, but he still did. "To hold you for real. To be able to say that you are a part of what a beautiful soul creates with a less beautiful soul. I don't want it to be solely me anymore. I want her, I want you, I want the twin who suspect I'm an alien and the over-enthusiastic Veronica and the extremely shy Dale who is just too cute and I want the unborn child in Teresa's belly. I want it all, but I can't have it because I'm too stupid."

He stopped rambling and suddenly noticed that Emma was crying too, and he let out a panicked sound before pulling her closer to him, and as he calmed down, she calmed down too.

"I'm so sorry, Emma," he whispered in her ear.

He wasn't feeling like being here anymore. He didn't want to pretend like everything was fine while he had just come to a mutual agreement with his heart to spoil Lisbon senseless once he was home.

Emma seemed to have forgotten everything already now that he had stopped crying and was pulling at his curls, giggling. He sighed and pulled her close to him again, getting up. He walked over to the sandpit and put the girl down, sitting as well with his legs bent and crossed at the ankles. He studied how Emma reached around her to grab fistfuls of sand, only to throw it around her and onto him.

Now he was afraid of going to sleep.

~OverAgain~

Lisbon smiled as he quickly got into bed, pulling her into his embrace immediately.

She linked their lips before just reveling in his warmth, slowly drifting off to sleep. He refused to go to sleep, since this all could be gone when he went to sleep.

Their peaceful moment was disturbed though when they heard a baby starting to cry, and Lisbon groaned.

"I'll get her," Jane said, and returned within a minute with Emma in his arms, silent tears streaming down her face and her body shaking with soft sobs.

Lisbon reached out her arms and took the girl from Jane, cradling her against her chest. Jane got into bed and looked at Lisbon who tried to silence the baby. Apparently, being almost suffocated by her mother's breasts was a good thing and she stopped crying, placing her hands on Lisbon's upper arms. But maybe the fact that she was close to her unborn sibling had something to do with it as well. Lisbon smiled at Jane.

"Why don't I have breasts?" he asked, and she chuckled, scooted closer to him and placed her head on his shoulder. Instinctively, he wrapped an arm around her, while he gently rubbed the girl's back with his free hand.

He had the lingering feeling this was going to be his last moment with his family. Cat had said that he would go back when his time was up, but he didn't know when that was and whether he would get a warning. Probably not.

But since he was here to be punished, and he was the most punished now since he loved all that he had here, it was really likely that he would have to go now.

"I love you, Teresa, so much," he whispered, and she shook her head.

"I know."

"And I will always love you."

"I know, Patrick."

He sighed and leaned in to kiss the top of Emma's head. The girl chuckled and lifted her short arms to touch his cheek. He just leaned closer and placed his head against Emma's tummy, tickling her with his nose and blowing raspberries and she couldn't stop chuckling.

"She has to sleep, she won't sleep if she's all worked up."

He lifted his head to smiled innocently at Lisbon, and she rolled her eyes.

"Dammit," she murmured, but couldn't help but smile. "You'll go put her to bed then."

He nodded, and a few minutes later when they noticed Emma was starting to grow more tired, Jane picked the girl up and brought her to bed.

He couldn't help himself from stopping by at the other kids.

Veronica, sleeping in her pale pink bed, her dark-brown hair spread around her head. She had her thumb in her mouth, much like Dale did during the day, but hers was half-in, half-out. To her chest, she was cradling her light brown stuffed bunny, as though she was protecting it, but really, in the time he'd spent with the girl, he had found that she needed the animal in order to sleep peacefully.

He swallowed. She still reminded him of Charlotte, even though the girls looked nothing alike. Just the enthusiasm both had was what made them alike. And that was what probably made all of this harder. But he wouldn't make the mistake of drowning in his sorrow. Both girls were amazing and would always be in his heart, no matter what.

"I love you, Ronnie," he whispered, and he saw a faint smile appear on the girl's face, before she got absorbed in her dreams again.

He closed the door and walked into Dale's room. He noticed immediately that the boy didn't have his thumb in his mouth, but instead had a stuffed animal in his tiny hand. Jane had already noticed when he'd come back that afternoon that the little one seemed to be more confident already. Of course, he had still jumped away from any touch but he seemed to be more interested in what the rest was doing – and not only what Jane was doing but what the trio was doing as well. He considered that a good development.

"I love you, Dale," he whispered like he'd done to Veronica, and left the room.

That left the twin. He had always found twins fascinating. How two human beings could look so alike the other, but still be completely different concerning personality was something he just couldn't fathom – and there weren't many things he didn't understand.

But then again, he found birth fascinating as well, and it only made him admire women more, to be able to do something quite that difficult and painful was just stunning.

The boys were laying in their identical beds, just like all the others had been doing. They were peaceful and quiet – just like they should be the entire time.

Jane smiled a bit. It was interesting to see how the trio looked so much like him but Dale didn't at all. He neared his mother in behavior, even though Lisbon wasn't that shy. She still refrained from interacting with people if it wasn't necessary.

The chances of him and Lisbon actually getting a twin in his world were slim to nil, if they would even have children at all. Didn't mean that he didn't want it.

Okay, so they couldn't have as much children as they had in this glimpse, considering it took a lot of time to get where they seemed to be here, and they were running out of time in his world, but they could still try for one baby. He would be happy with one child. They could be happy with one child.

"I love you Allen. I love you Perry."

He sighed and closed the door behind him, slowly walking towards his and Lisbon's bedroom. He didn't want to go to sleep. Now that he had realized what a stupid jerk he had been, and had really realized this, the chances of going back to his world were so big. And he didn't want to go anymore.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He startled and turned around, but calmed down again when he saw who had joined them.

"So you finally realized the truth?" Cat asked. Jane looked at her, stunned that she was actually following him, that she was here in his house, and he should've been scared or angry, but then he sighed again and looked at the four closed bedroom doors, with names on it in the kids' own styles.

He turned back to Cat, and nodded.

"You're not going to take me away from here now, are you?"

She didn't respond, just pressed her lips into a thin line, and he started shaking his head violently.

"No. No, you can't take me away. I love them. They are the only thing I have. Can't I just... no, Cat, please don't take me away from here-"

"Patrick, calm down-"
"No, I won't calm down," he interrupted her, now getting angry. He wondered why nobody awoke and exited their bedrooms to check on him. "No, I've been separated from my family once, I'm not going to let that happen again. I know you told me that I would be going away from here one day but I don't want to. I don't want to go-"
"Patrick, you have to."

He shook his head, finding no words, again, and started crying, again. It seemed like he was an emotional wreck these days.

"Why are you doing this? Do you like it to hurt people?"

"No, Patrick, I don't. But you've been hurting all the people around you as well-"
"But I didn't mean to!"

"But you still did, Patrick! You did, and that's unforgivable! No matter how much you love her, no matter how many times you tried to make up to her! You did hurt her and she won't forgive you until you start taking that stupid head of yours out of the sand and see for once. Look at what she's making you feel-"

"I already know that!"

"Then what's that feeling?"

He paused, then sighed and looked down.

"Love," he murmured.
"What was that?"

"Love."
"So... love? I mean, like the love you have for Grace? Sibling love-"
"I'm in love with her."

She nodded instantly, as if these words had been printed onto his forehead since the very first moment, and he swallowed.

"I hate to do it, Patrick, but it's the rules."

"Isn't there any way you can break the rules somehow?"
"I'm not like you, you know. I actually remember rules and stick to them."

"That-"
"I'm sorry Patrick," she said, and stood.

"No, no wait. You can't do this. Give me more time, I need more time-"
"You've had enough time."
And with that, she walked away, disappearing into nowhere.

It took all his strength and willpower not to break down to the floor.

Instead, he walked into Emma's bedroom again. She was already vast asleep, her arms and legs spread around her and her mouth wide agape.

He reached into the bassinet and brushed her cheek briefly, not wanting to wake her up.

He wasn't going to cry anymore. He didn't want to waste his probably last moments with this family by crying.

"Is this it, Emma?" he asked the girl, but of course she didn't respond. He sighed.

"Two days ago, I didn't think I wanted to have a new family again and now all I want is more joy and more love and an even bigger family. I know it sounds insane."

He brushed a tiny Emma curl out of her face.

"Please remember me, Emma. Because we will meet again, I promise. I will do everything to hold you again, to hold all of you again. I love you, precious little Emma. I love all of you."

He pressed a tiny kiss to the girl's forehead and strolled over to his bedroom.

Lisbon was sitting against the headboard, upright, her hands stroking her belly, whispering things to it.

His heart warmed, but at the same time, it clenched. He knew he had to leave this behind, all of this, only to be replaced by a Lisbon who was ready to shoot him.

He laid down beside her and kissed her belly, then scooted up and kissed her lips.

"Goodnight, Reese. I love you."

She smiled and brushed his cheek, before she moved to lay down on her side, facing him. He mimicked the position, pulling her close to him but far enough to still look at her beautiful face.

She couldn't stop touching him, brushing his cheeks, his lips, his nose. Her eyes slowly fell closed. He could mark the exact moment in which he saw she was completely asleep, and he felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

"I love you, Teresa Lisbon," he whispered. He fought to keep his eyes opened for a few more minutes, and he actually thought he could win the battle but he noticed his eyes closing slowly until he fell asleep.

A/N: So is Jane going to wake up in his world? Stick around a bit to find out! And in the meantime, follows and reviews won't hurt!